Shh, It will be okay

We arrive at Mals' house and we're greeted by her mum, she offers my mum a cup of tea and Mal and I head upstairs to her room, I place my bag at the end of her bed and tell her and my mum that i'm going on a walk, I need to be by myself and get some fresh air, I tie my hair up and walk out of the door, I know my way around because Mal and I live round the corner from each other, I walk for about fifteen minutes until i get to a bench in the local park, I sit down and close my eyes. I sit down for a while until i sense someone sitting next to me,

'Mal, I told you-,' I opened my eyes and looked to my right,

It wasnt Mal,

'Perri?'

'Hey, I thought I'd catch you round here,'

'You did?'

'No,' He grinned 'I was just walking to somewhere and your hair caught my eye,' I knew he'd say something about it, it was tied up in a bun on the top of my head, I laughed and looked down, then he laughed too,

'What brings you down here by yourself?' He inches slightly closer to me,

'Well I-'

'Oh my God, Is that Perri Kiely?,' I hear a girl shout from a distance, then another four girls came rushing over, he turned to look at them, turned back, sighed and then slowly stood up.

'Oh my God Perri I love you so much!'

I mean these girls were beautiful and they didn't even give him a second look, so why is he sat here talking to me, asking me what's wrong...?

I must have looked stupid just sat there watching...

They all take selfies with him and give him a hug, they make him do a video message, turn to look at me and then then go away, fangirling up the path,'

Hey Christine, hope your having a good day, Love Perri and the diversity boys,

What the...Diversity?

'What was all that about?' I ask smiling as he sits back down right next to me,

'Oh erm, nothing, what were you saying,'

'Noooo,' I chuckled 'Why do you those girls worship you,'

'Oh I erm just talk and stuff on youtube, it's no big deal,' I could tell he was lying by the way he was stuttering and playing with his hands, but i decided to play along,

'Oh so you're a youtuber,' I ask grinning

'Uh, kinda,' He rubbed the back of his neck

'How many subscribers?'

'Not many,' I raised my eyebrows, he knew that I knew he was lying,

'Do you mind if i use your phone a sec, mines dead,' I laugh and hand him my phone, dropping the fake youtuber conversation

'My passwords 1738,'

He shook his head and unlocked my phone whilst laughing to himself,

'Thanks, i just needed to text the person I was supposed to meet,'

'No problem,' I smile, He reaches to my face and gently pulls a hair away from my face that was stuck to my lipgloss, I look down and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and i can still sense him looking at me, i look up at him and he doesn't move his glance, my gaze meets his and I physically can't pull my eyes away.

'So, you didn't tell me why you were down here,'

'You didn't tell me why those girls love you,'

'I did!' He laughs sitting bolt upright, his voice broke when he said 'did' and I burst out laughing, he was trying to look serious but he couldn't I was still keeled over laughing and so he joined in,

'Do you need a ride home,' He smiles, catching his breath,

'I thought you said you walked?'

Then he looked down and blushed and i nudged his shoulder,

'I was driving down and then i saw you crossing the street and-'

'Wait, you drive? How old are you,'

'Well erm, i just turned 17 in december,'

'Oh,'

'Why,' he laughed 'How old are you,' he asked getting slightly worried

'Oh well i'm 16,' Then he smiled with huge relief

'So do you need a ride,'

'You're going the other direction,'

'It's fine honestly, I'm not going to leave you walking home,' He jumped up onto his feet and held his hand out to pull me up,'

'Thank you,' I smiled and looked down at the floor, a tear forming in my eye, i was trying to hide it but i couldn't

'Hey,' he said lifting my head up with his hand, he wiped my single tear away with his thumb and pulled me into a hug, i wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder, But I don't understand why. I've never been this close to a boy i've even been with in the first few days of being with them, I feel so comfortable around him and I know that I can trust him if i tell him everything, maybe i should get it off my chest, I know he's going to ask me what's wrong...

'What's wrong,' He asks into the crook of my neck

'Everything,' I cry even harder

He sighs and hugs me tighter, rubbing my arm to try and comfort me.

'Shh, it will be okay,' I rub my mascara from under my eyes and look up at him, he doesn't move back away from me. Once I'd gathered myself together I sat down and decided to tell him everything, right from the very beginning.

'Actually,' I stand back up 'Would you like to go for a walk,'

'I'd love to,' He holds his arm out signalling for me to link it,

Before I start i let it go silent for a while, taking in my surroundings.

'Young love,' One middle aged woman awe's to another as they walked by,

I look up at Perri, I don't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed, I release my arm from his hold and let it fall beside me, He puts his hand in his pocket. It's a comfortable silence however, for some reason it's not one bit awkward.

'When I was five,' I begin, he turns his head to me but i carry on looking ahead,

'When I was five my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, I didn't really know what was going on, My mum just told me that he had a cold and had to get medicine from the hospital, I sat and watched him day to day thinking he was fine, when in fact he was getting sicker. The cancer developed in his brain and he was getting weaker. I was a total daddy's girl, he taught me how to ride my bike and took me to my football game, we had so many inside jokes and we would mess around even when my mum was moaning about me screaming when he would fling me everywhere,' Then a small smile grew on my face 'He was my partner in crime,'

I take a deep breath and feel Perri's hand slide into mine, I squint my eyes pushing back the tears and carry on,

'One day I was in English, I was studying for my SAT's that were coming up at the end of year six, my school receptionist came to the classroom with an upset look drawn across her plain face, She took me to the office and i saw my mum crying like i had never seen her before, I walked into the room slowly and sat down, My mum rushed over to me and hugged me tight. I was nearly eleven by then and i faint idea of what was going on. She caught her breath and sat down opposite me holding my hand, 'Sweetie, you know how poorly your father was-,'

'Was?' I asked, Then it clicked...He was gone,'

I felt him give my hand a squeeze, I looked at him and he was looking at me already. He looked devastated and hurt,

'The reason I came here is because he would bring me here in the summer to play football, or in the winter to build snowmen,'

I tell him everything that happened today and he shakes his head,

'You know if i were there i would have jumped him,' He's joking but he says it seriously, causing me to burst out laughing,'

'Anyway the reason I started crying when we were about to leave is because-' Then i stop myself

Sh*t

I was about to tell him how i really feel about him

'Was because I don't know what to do,' He sighed and pulled my side closer to him so it was by his side. We continued walking until we were back at the car.

I plugged in my seat belt, I hear the engine start up but the car doesn't move,

'Why?' he asks turning to me

'Excuse me,'

'Well the way you were talking to me sounded like something you've never really told someone in that much detail before, so why did you tell me?'

'Because although i've only know you for about two hours, I feel like i can trust you, you're good at making me feel better,' We both smile,

'Now tell me the real reason you were crying over there,' He nods to the bench through the window,

I sigh and put my head back on the head rest, he doesn't take his eyes off me so I take a deep breath and tell him the real reason

Great...

'Well, in all honesty, the moment I met you I-'

'You felt something there?' He interrupts 'Look Kacey-'

'How do you know my name?'

'It was at the top of your contact list,' He chuckles, he starts the car and takes me back to Mals,

'Oh, do you know where the top roundabout is near the town?'

'Erm, yeah,' I think about it

'I don't live far from there, I might see you round,' He smiles, 'Shit it's nearly one i better go,'

'Anywhere special,' I laugh

'Extremely,'

I thank him for the ride and go back into the house.