Happy Halloween, I Guess

Whizzer

I'm perched on the kitchen counter once again when Cordelia comes in to have breakfast. She eyes me but says nothing. I'm busy scooping an avocado.

"Hey, Whizzer."

"Hey."

She starts to open the fridge, but stops. "Wait a second. What's this?" "This" is a sticky note that I put on the refrigerator. I thought that we could make that a tradition whenever we had something important to tell each other, or at least something we thought we would forget.

"It's my sticky note," I answer, scraping the last bit of avocado out of its peel.

Cordelia picks it off the fridge and reads it. "Halloween party at the college bar tomorrow night— why did you write that?" she wants to know.

"Um, because I want to go?"

"Halloween parties are so lame." She pauses and stares at the sticky note. "Did you put this up there today or yesterday?"

"Yesterday."

"Fine, I guess if it's already happening tonight I'll let you talk me into going," she sighs.

I raise my eyebrows. "That was quick."

"Whatever. Is anyone else even gonna be there?"

"Yeah, Marvin's the one who told me about it. Also, Charlotte's going." After I say this, Cordelia immediately looks convinced. I probably should have just led with that. "And it's not like we have to dress up or anything. We're just celebrating Halloween because college kids are looking for an excuse to get drunk. It can just be, like, an October 31st party."

"Sounds fun," she admits, although I'm pretty sure she only wants to go because her sort-of girlfriend is going. I can't really blame her— I probably wouldn't be interested either if it weren't for Marvin. "So, what are you going to wear?"

"Who gives a shit? Everyone's going to be too drunk to care what I'm wearing."

Cordelia smiles. "This is going to be fun."

Marvin

I don't know why I got Whizzer to go to this party with me. Maybe I just needed to get out of my dorm for once. Maybe I need a break from everything that's going on with Trina. Whatever it is, it'll be nice to spend time with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen much now that school has become busier.

When I arrive at the bar, the first thing I notice is that it's almost fully lit up and no one's there. I decide to go see what's going on.

"It's still early," the bartender explains as I sit down on a stool. "I think most people are going to come around 9 or 10."

I sigh. "Can I at least get a drink while I'm waiting?"

"No can do. You're only eighteen, aren't you?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"You're not allowed to buy alcohol until you're twenty-one." He looks at me and frowns. "Did no one ever tell you that?"

"This is bullshit. Nobody wants to go to this lame party if we can't even drink. Besides, this is a college bar. Doesn't that mean college students can drink here?"

"Yes," he answers slowly. "College students over the age of twenty-one."

"Bullshit," I repeat, sliding off my stool. Whizzer comes in just as I do so, and walks up to me.

"All right! Let's do this thing. I stayed hydrated so I won't get too drunk tonight. Seriously, I drank, like, nine cups of water before I left."

I scratch the back of my neck in annoyance. "Actually, we're not allowed to by alcohol here. Not until we're twenty-one." I glare at the guy behind the bar, who ignores me.

Whizzer shrugs. "So? We'll just get one of the older kids to buy it for us. That's what I always did in high school."

"Hey, that's actually not a bad idea."

"Of course it's not," he answers with a smile. "Now, come on. Cordelia's picking Charlotte up but they're coming soon. And, look, more people are already coming in."

I turn and see a few more college students by the doorway, and I'm equally relieved at the fact that Whizzer and I won't be the only ones here and perplexed that people actually don't think this is lame.

"Hold on, I need to use the bathroom," Whizzer tells me once we're seated. He pats my leg and gets up, and I'm alone for a moment before Charlotte and Cordelia arrive.

"Hey, Marvin!" exclaims Cordelia. "I haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?"

I look around the bar. "Not so good, actually. I don't think there's going to be anyone here who can get us drinks. It looks like the only people actually coming here are freshmen and sophomores who don't know that this is a waste of their time. Like me."

She holds up a six-pack. "Why do you think I brought my own?"

"What?" I do a double take. "How did you even get that?"

"I have my sources."

"Well, hold on. We can't all get drunk, right? We're going to need a designated driver or something. Someone who's actually going to be responsible tonight." I share a look with Cordelia, and we both slowly glance over to Charlotte.

She catches on. "Why me?" she demands.

"Please, Charlotte," Cordelia begs, pulling on her sleeve. "You can drink next time. We need someone to make good choices tonight, like Marvin said."

Charlotte just rolls her eyes. "All right. It's not that big a deal, anyway. I'm studying medicine, for God's sake, and I've got to know better than to consume excessive amounts of alcohol."

"Well, now you're making me feel bad about it."

"Don't worry," I assure. "It's okay to drink a bunch once in a while."

"Actually—" Charlotte says, but I stand up and start pushing the two of them in the other direction before she can finish.

"Go, you guys. Have some fun. Make some friends." I watch them leave and then head back to my table. Whizzer still isn't back yet. I'm about to go into the bathroom to look for him when I'm sidetracked by Trina.

"Marvin! I didn't know you would be here," she exclaims. "How are you?"

I blink. "Oh. Fine. Whatever. Why are you here?"

Trina hesitates. "Mendel invited me," she confesses finally. When I scoff loudly, she's quick to add, "Why do you get so pissed every time I mention him?"

"Why do you hang out with him so much? Is he more interesting than me."

She raises her eyebrows. "Are you jealous? This is so much crap! You leave me for some guy you barely know seven months ago, and all of a sudden I'm your property? Choose one, Marvin. Me or Whizzer?"

"Obviously Whizzer," I reply. "Because I'm not jealous. I just—"

"I heard my name. Twice," my boyfriend cuts in, back from the bathroom at a very inconvenient time. "What's going on? Hey, Trina, right?"

He holds his hand out to my ex, who looks surprised. She turns to me. "So this is Whizzer?" she asks.

"No?" I say helplessly.

Trina shakes his hand. "I didn't think that I would be meeting you tonight," she remarks, "but I'm glad I have. Wow. So now I know what my competition was."

"Oh, right." Whizzer laughs a little uncomfortably. "I don't think we even really got together until after you guys had broken up though—"

"How long after?"

He just laughs again and shoots a side glance at me. I decide to speak up.

"Well! Isn't this great? My boyfriend meets my ex. Very fun. Not awkward at all. Now, Trina, I think you should probably go back to Mendel—"

"No, I'd like to stay here," she responds, crossing her arms over her chest.

Whizzer wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead. "Okay. Yeah. Sure. What... um, what do you want to talk about?"

"I just want to get to know you." Trina's tone is kind, but her brow is creased and she's giving Whizzer an intimidating stare.

"Okay. Um. Well, my name's Whizzer."

"Oh, I know that."

"I have to go to the bathroom Whizzer do you want to come with me?" I blurt out quickly.

"I just went," he informs me, but still I grab his sleeve and lead him to the bathroom. I make sure the door is closed before saying anything. Whizzer just looks confused. "What's happening? Marvin, if you're trying to suggest bathroom sex I'm afraid to tell you it's not the time."

"I'm waiting until Trina leaves," I hiss. "I knew you guys were going to have to meet eventually, but this is unbearable."

"It is a little awkward," he agrees.

"No, it's a lot awkward. I knew she still wasn't exactly over the breakup, but I didn't know she was going to resent you this much. And there's just so much tension— let's just let her go off with Mendel."

"Oh, yeah, speaking of that, why do you seem to care about her and Mendel so much?" Whizzer asks. "I didn't hear a ton of your conversation earlier before I came in, but it's kind of weird."

"It's... never mind. I don't have to explain it to you. Can't we just stay here for a few more minutes?"

"Fine," he sighs.

Charlotte

"Do you have any idea where Marvin is?" Cordelia asks me. The bar is pretty crowded by now and I can barely see halfway across the room. On top of that, my girlfriend (or whatever she is) is drunk, and this is the first sentence I've been able to make out.

I glance at her. "No, I don't know. Here, I'm going to get you some water. You're not looking so good."

"Oh, Jesus, I must be making a pretty bad impression on you. You know what, that's it. No more drinking." She tries to set her bottle down on the table, but does it a little too hard and the bottle breaks.

I scream. "Cordelia!"

"It wasn't my fault!" she protests, backing away from the broken glass. "I'll get the annoying guy behind the bar to clean this up. You go find Marvin."

I nod and walk away. The room is buzzing, and I'm not sure, anyone will be able to hear me, but still I cup my hands around my mouth and shout, "MARVIN! WHERE ARE YOU? GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE. CORDELIA'S DRUNK AND SHE JUST SMASHED A BOTTLE."

"You don't need to include that part," Cordelia hisses from behind me.

A guy about our age who is definitely not Marvin comes up to me. "Were you just calling for Marvin?" he asks.

"Not you. Our friend Marvin."

"Oh, no, um, my name's Mendel. It's just that I know him, and—"

"Do you know where he is?"

"Well, no—"

"Then shut up."

"Charlotte, that's not nice," Cordelia tells me, approaching us. I turn back to see if anyone's cleaned up the glass, and the answer is now. She looks at Mendel. "Wait, I think Marvin told us about you. The annoying psychiatrist guy?"

Mendel frowns. "I guess?"

"That's right," I say. "You know, I'm studying to be a doctor, too."

He looks me up and down and raises an eyebrow. "You?"

"MARVIN. GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW," I call, sick of talking to Mendel. Apparently, Cordelia isn't, because she keeps up a conversation with him. He tells her about his friend, Trina— who I think is also Marvin's ex. It's a small world, isn't it?

"You rang?" Marvin demands, finally appearing, holding onto Whizzer, who's trailing behind him.

I glare at him. "Where were you for the past hour and a half? Cordelia's drunk, I want to get her home. Plus, I met Mendel," I add. Marvin looks from me to Mendel, who's still talking to Cordelia, although it seems like she's starting to fall asleep.

Whizzer swoops in. "I'll take her home," he offers. "Don't worry, I didn't have anything to drink except a ton of water. I was in the bathroom for most of the night." He shoots a look at Marvin, who avoids his gaze.

"Okay then," I reply.

"Marvin, wait." A young woman, again around our age, comes up from behind him and grabs his hand, which he instinctively pulls away.

"Trina. What do you want?"

"This is Trina?" I ask, turning to the others. Whizzer nods, and Cordelia manages a small wave.

Trina glances from the two of them to me, to Mendel, and back to Marvin again. "I just wanted to talk about earlier. About me meeting your boyfriend," she tells him.

"What is there to talk about?" Marvin mutters. "It was awkward. We left. It's over now."

"Can we meet up again some other time?" She looks desperately at Whizzer, who shrugs and gives Marvin a surprised glance.

"Fine, whatever," Marvin answers hastily. "Mendel can come too if he wants. I don't care. I just want us to get out of here." He places a hand on Whizzer's back, and I hear a quiet, "You got her?" about Cordelia. Whizzer responds with a thumbs-up.

I turn back to Trina and Mendel, who are currently sharing an exasperated look, although Mendel's is more confused and Trina's is more distressed.

"It was great meeting you both," I tell them, even though it wasn't— it was rushed and extremely awkward. "I should probably go with the others.... Bye."

By now, it's almost pitch black outside. Whizzer's helping Cordelia to her car, and Marvin's trailing behind with his hands tucked in his pockets.

"How are you doing?" I ask sympathetically. "You know, with the whole Trina and Mendel and Whizzer thing?"

He thinks for a while before answering. "I'm... confused."

"I get it. This was a crazy night."

"Tell me about it," he huffs. "Never again am I going to a college party."

"They probably don't all end like this," I point out. But then I look at Whizzer holding the car door open for Cordelia, encouraging her to throw up in the parking lot, and I'm thinking they probably do.

Marvin and I get in the back seat while we wait for the others. "Next time there's a party," he whispers to me, "how about we just hang out at their apartment and watch a movie instead."

I smile. "That sounds fun."

"Can you guys please stop talking? I'm trying to throw up," groans Cordelia.

"Sorry."