Why Are You So Infuriating?

Trina

I'm starting to feel a little better about the situation. Now that Marvin's introduced me to Whizzer, I can stop torturing myself with imagining every type of guy my ex-boyfriend could be seeing. Sure, he's not someone I wouldn't totally be jealous of, but I'm glad they're happy together. Besides, it's well about time I get over Marvin.

I'm heading to the bathroom one night to shower, but all of them are full by the time I get there. There's one other person waiting for a turn, and I recognize her from Halloween— Charlotte. She notices me and smiles.

"Hey! Trina, right? Marvin's ex?"

I can feel myself blushing a little. Of course she knows me as Marvin's ex. Despite my chagrin, I nod. "Yeah. You're his friend?" I ask.

"More or less. We only know each other because I'm dating his boyfriend's roommate, but he's pretty cool," she replies.

I don't exactly need anyone telling me how cool Marvin is at a time like this, but I know she doesn't mean any harm, so I move past it. I take another look at the shower stalls, but all are still occupied. If I don't get to shower tonight, I at least want to be able to shave my legs, so I climb up onto the sink and decide to do it right there.

Charlotte leans against the wall. "You seem so familiar. Did I ever meet you before Halloween?"

"Uh, maybe you heard me crying in the shower at night back when I was a mess," I say, trying to laugh. "Just kidding. I still am a mess."

She purses her lips. "Yeah... sorry about all that stuff, by the way. I don't know all of the details, but it must be tough."

"Thanks." It's nice to have someone who understands, if only a little bit.

It's kind of awkward rolling up my pant leg and shaving right there, but Charlotte doesn't really seem to mind. I wonder if people do this a lot when the showers are full. It's going to be more awkward without a conversation, and I think Charlotte can sense this, because she keeps talking.

"How did you and Marvin meet anyway? I've heard a little bit from him about you guys dating in high school or whatever, but he never said exactly how it started."

"To tell the truth, I don't really know how it started," I admit. "We knew each other since the beginning of high school, but didn't really become friends until around our junior year. Then he just asked me out one day."

"Hmm." She nods, probably trying to think of what to say next.

"Life has just been pretty shitty lately," I remark. "With the whole meeting my ex's new boyfriend and catching feelings for the guy who's trying to help me sort this out..."

Charlotte raises her eyebrows. "Who's that? Mendel?"

"Yeah. Well, no. I don't think I have feelings for him. I'm just getting attached because I came in here with absolutely no one by my side and he's one of the first people I met."

"So you don't have feelings for him?" she asks.

I sigh. "Maybe I do. But I don't want to date him right now. I don't want to date anybody right now. I just want to focus on school and forget for one minute that my life is an overtired, heartsick college student's nightmare."

Right as I say this, I nick myself with the razor and wince. I turn to grab a paper towel from the dispenser behind me and try to ignore the blood that's already pouring.

"Are you doing okay?" Charlotte questions, eying my cut. I nod quickly.

"Yeah. I'm totally used to this."

We're quiet for a few more moments as I hold the paper towel against my bleeding leg. Other students are coming and going by the showers, but the sink area is mainly empty except for Charlotte and me.

"If you need someone to talk to," she says after a while, "I'm here."

"Thanks, but I already have Mendel..."

She shrugs. "I know. It just might be nice to talk to other people once in a while." She smiles, and I smile back. I think I made a new friend. "Anyway, one of the stalls is free now, so I'm going to use this opportunity to take a shower before someone else does. I live in 204– you can come by anytime."

"Thank you," I reply, and I mean it.

Marvin

I go to visit Whizzer's apartment, as I always do when my dorm is feeling too cramped. It's nice to hang out with him and Cordelia in such a big space— although they often complain about how small it is. I'm guessing that's what rich people problems are.

"Is Whizzer home?" I ask when I see Cordelia. She looks up from where she's sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"No, he went out shopping," she replies. "What are you doing here?"

I flop down next to her. "I was feeling claustrophobic in my dorm and I needed to get out for a while," I explain. "Can I just hang out with you then?"

She nods. "Sure, but you know this apartment isn't much bigger."

"Trust me, if you saw my dorm..."

Cordelia smiles a little. "Yeah, I'm kind of glad I chose to rent an apartment with one of my friends instead of going for a dorm. I mean, sure, I do need to work a bunch to afford it— and the coffee shop's been more stressful than ever."

"Does Charlotte come by these days?"

"She does, but it's usually so busy that either my shift is already done or I'm crying in the bathroom by the time she places her order, so we don't see each other much there anymore."

My eyes widen. "What the fuck is going on in that coffee shop?" I want to know.

"Stress," is her simple reply.

I get up from the couch and dust myself off. "Well. I'm, uh, sorry to hear that. Look, if Whizzer isn't here right now, I should just come back later..."

"He really loves you, you know that? Whizzer, I mean."

I give her a look. "Of course he does."

"I mean, more than he probably says," she remarks, clicking on the TV.

I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable with how casual she's being. "Does he talk to you about me?"

"Sometimes."

"Cordelia, why would you tell me this?" I demand, shaking her by the shoulders, snapping her attention away from the television screen. "Now I'm going to be freaking out all night. Thanks."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. I thought you knew he loved you," she points out.

"Yes, but we're only on a certain level right now." I sit down and fan myself with my hands. "I guess we should be moving forward. We're already seven months in. But I'm nervous. But what if he wants more? It's not like I have commitment issues—"

"Yes you do," Cordelia informs me. "Remember Trina?"

I glare at her. "That was different. Ugh, why would you tell me all this about Whizzer?"

"Marvin, I literally only told you that he loves you. I'm sure he's told you a bunch of times. Now stop freaking out for no reason so I can watch TV."

"But what if I'm not ready for a serious relationship?" I groan, lying back on the couch.

"Then you probably should have told Whizzer before you guys, you know, got in one?"

I sigh. "No. I'm fine with where we are now, that's not what I'm talking about."

"And I'm sure he is too." She pauses. "It's not like you haven't even had sex yet, right?"

I don't say anything, and Cordelia shuts the TV off and stares at me.

"You haven't?"

"It's never the right time!" I protest.

"Marvin, Charlotte and I have only been a thing for two months and we've already gotten further than you guys," she says in disbelief.

I feel my face turning red. "Okay, but don't you get it? I haven't done that with a guy before. Just Trina. And it's way different."

"Good point. But seriously, if you and Whizzer are gonna do this sometime you need to talk about it."

"I know. I don't need you to tell me that."

"Good." She turns the TV on, like she wasn't just interrogating me about my sex life. Why is everyone so interested, anyway? It's the 21st century. There are other couples to focus on.

I feel like we're not done talking, so I go on. "Whizzer and I will be ready when we're ready," I tell her.

"Of course."

"And even if we are ready, we don't have to do anything. And it's none of your business if we do."

Cordelia nods, not looking at me. "I'm aware of that, Marvin. I was just asking."

"It'll probably happen soon."

"Got it."

"Why are you so infuriating?" I demand.

She turns to me. "This is your problem, not mine."

I get up and storm out. What the hell just happened?