Breaks, Parents and Compromises

Whizzer

Cordelia and I are making plans for winter break, and honestly, it's getting stressful. We both know we can't stay at the apartment for two weeks straight, but we both kind of want to.

"Do you think Charlotte and I should meet each others' parents? Or is it too soon?" she frets. There's a lot of tension in the living room today, and she keeps getting up to walk around. "It's been, what, two and a half months?"

"It's been eight or so for me and Marvin," I remark. "Wait, does that mean I should meet his family?"

She stops and stares at me. "Yeah, probably."

Shit.

"Hold on. So do Charlotte and I have to wait until it's been eight months? Or less? Or more? I'm so confused!" she cries, collapsing on the couch. This is my cue to go into the kitchen and make hot chocolate to calm our nerves.

While I'm stirring my mug, I start to feel uneasy. "I don't know about this, Cordelia. If Marvin wanted me to meet his family, don't you think I would have by now?"

"I thought you said he wasn't even out," she calls from the living room.

Fuck. She's right. Marvin told me that he still hadn't come out to his parents yet, despite being in a relationship with a man for the better part of a year. So when is he supposed to do that? I mean, I've done the whole "hey guys, I'm gay" thing before, and it takes time. With some people it's easier, and clearly with Marvin it's not.

"Maybe I should take him to meet my parents instead," I suggest, coming back in with both our cups. "They've heard about him and are super excited to meet him."

"Lucky. My parents gave me the whole 'I won't support it but I respect it' thing. I just want Charlotte to meet them to know what she'd be in for. I guess they're trying, though." She takes a sip of hot chocolate.

I give her a look of sympathy. "Yeah. How's her family? Accepting?"

"I think so. She said they cared more about her getting a good education than who she wanted to sleep with, which was better than nothing. But from what I know, she's told them about me and they're content."

"Okay. Sounds like you should go to her place first, then. Give your parents a little time to get used to it. And if they can't, screw them."

Cordelia smiles. "Thanks, Whizzer. God, I feel so much more at ease now. Isn't this supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year?"

I made a dismissive noise. "That's a load of crap. Winter is cold, snowy, gray and gloomy for three months. Sure, you get out of your cramped apartment for two weeks, but then we're back and suffering with eight hours of homework each day."

"Sounds like you don't like college much," she remarks. "Or winter."

"No way, Cordelia, did you figure that out all by yourself?"

She rolls her eyes. "Okay, smartass. You know, maybe you should just go to Marvin's and talk about this stuff," she suggests.

"Hmm. Marvin's been kind of distant lately." I glance at my phone. "We talked this morning, but I think he's just not feeling up to it."

"All right, that's fine. At least ask him if he'll meet your parents next week, though. It's about time, Whizzer." She gives me a look.

"Okay, okay. I know he'll say yes, anyway. Should be better than going home to his own family, anyway. 'Hey, Marvin, met any nice girls lately?' Like, 'no, Grandma, but I fucked a guy last week.'"

She just stares at me. "Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he's going to want to do that."

-

The next day is also the last day of classes before we finally get our two weeks off. I'm planning to go see Marvin right after school to discuss this with him. The day seems to drag on, but finally I get off, and I head to his dorm.

I knock on the door, waiting for him to open it. Knowing him, he's probably sleeping by now. I wonder if he just wants to spend the entire break in bed. I wouldn't be totally against that either, but anyway.

After what seems like ten minutes, Marvin opens the door. "Hey, Whizzer," he greets me monotonously.

"Were you sleeping?"

He pauses. "No."

"All right." I shrug off my winter coat as I walk into the dorm. It's sort of a mess, but I can't blame him, with the limited space. Every time I'm in here, I wonder how Cordelia and I can go on complaining about our apartment. To be fair, we do have grueling jobs to afford it. "So. I came here to talk about winter break."

Marvin closes the door behind me. "What about it?" he asks.

"Well. Where should I start? I think we should meet each other's parents." Wait. No. "Actually, I think it's high time we meet each other's parents and that's not up for discussion."

"What are you talking about? You know I haven't come out yet."

"Okay, well I have. So why don't you just come and spend the break with me?"

He stares at me for a few seconds before replying. "Are you serious right now?"

My confidence is fading. "What?"

"I can't just drop everything to go to your house for two weeks, Whizzer. My family may not know everything about me, but they're still my family."

"No, I know that. I'm not saying you have to come with me. But it would be nice if you did."

He waves me off. "I can just meet your parents over FaceTime or whatever. This is winter break. And I should be spending it with my own family."

I bite my lip. He has a point. But we're a couple. Can we not even make compromises? "I don't think they should just meet you over a screen, Marvin. It makes more sense to go see them in person."

"What's the difference?"

"What's the difference? Are you kidding me? It's like you're not putting any effort into this relationship at all." I'm not sure how we got here, but we're here, and I don't feel like leaving.

"I put effort into this relationship!" he argues. "Just because I haven't gathered the courage to come out doesn't make you better than me. And I don't know when I'm going to meet your family, but it's not going to be this week, because you're not the only person in the world."

"Maybe it just won't happen," I tell him. "Doesn't that sound great? No pressure. No pressure at all. We can just forget my parents exist."

He rubs his temples. "You know what, maybe we can forget this relationship exists. Because you're being so incredibly exasperating for no reason!"

"I'm not the one who refuses to tell my parents I have a boyfriend!" I cry. "You act like you're the one who knows best when you can't even tell them the truth. And I know how it is, Marvin, believe me. But sometimes I think you can't even tell yourself the truth."

His face goes red. "What are you talking about?"

"We're in a relationship. And, yeah, I get that you want to see your family next week. But you're not even putting in the effort to get somewhere with this."

"I already told you, I can meet your parents on the phone," he says. "Why are you making this a bigger deal than it is?"

I exhale sharply. "Because I love you. And I'm trying to make compromises. But when every weekend it's 'let's not go visit your place' and 'I still haven't told my parents about you,' I get sick of it. All I'm asking is for one winter break where we pretend not to be in a dysfunctional relationship that's obviously falling apart by the second."

I go quiet, and so does Marvin. His face is a combination of hurt, confusion, and frustration.

"Oh, and I know damn well you were sleeping just before I got here."

With that I turn and walk out into the hallway.

The most wonderful time of the year, my ass.