"Sexual Tension"

Trina

I know Whizzer told me not to stress about Mendel having feelings for me, but I've tried not to stress and I'm failing miserably. How can I not? There's so much going on right now. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

I'm walking in the hallway, trying to act normal, but really I'm a confused mess inside. When I reach the stairs, I take a deep breath, drop my bag, and hang onto the railing to try and steady myself in the hopes that it will somehow steady my life. "Relax, Trina," I tell myself. "Just forget all this is happening and you'll be fine."

People come and go, glancing at the distressed girl draped over the railing and trying to clear her mind for a second. Only one person actually stops at the sight of me, and that person is my ex-boyfriend.

"What the hell are you doing?" asks Marvin.

I exhale sharply. "It's none of your business," I reply, composing myself. "I just needed to stand here and calm down for a while." I pick up my bag like nothing happened.

"Calm down about what?" he wants to know. "The fact that you so obviously have feelings for a short, annoying psychology major who's made it his whole personality and is clearly super into you, too?"

I stare at him. That's exactly right. "No."

"No?" he repeats, raising his eyebrows.

"No," I say again, hoisting my schoolbag over my shoulder and starting to continue down the stairs. "Now leave me alone, Marvin. I'm busy."

He steps in front of me. "Wait. I know you've been talking to Whizzer."

I give him a look. "All right. And?"

"Well..." He looks around, apparently not knowing what to say. I start to move again, but Marvin puts his hands out. "No, hold on. Why do you two think it's okay to start talking behind my back?"

"Because the world doesn't revolve around you, Marvin?"

"You're my ex. He's my boyfriend. It's not natural. I let you guys meet once at that Halloween party. Can't you just let it go?" he demands.

"I'm not the one who needs to let anything go," I argue. "Whizzer and I have no reason not to be friends. You're just upset that he doesn't do everything you want him to at all times. Just like in our relationship."

He frowns. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Marvin, don't play innocent. When we were dating I know it killed you to see me doing anything on my own for a change." I let out a huff and push past him. He follows me down the hallway anyway. "You can't do that with Whizzer if you ever want to know what a healthy relationship is like?"

"Oh, and you do?" he scoffs. "You and Mendel have the most twisted friendship I've ever seen."

"This isn't up for discussion anymore," I tell him, my face turning red. "Let's just move on. From these types of arguments and from each other."

"Agreed."

We keep walking at a brisk pace, not looking at each other but staying side by side. I sort of wish he'd just leave, but considering how much we still have to work out, maybe it's best that he doesn't just yet.

"I'm sorry," Marvin finally says, and I stop walking and turn to him in surprise. He places his hands on the backs of his hips awkwardly and sighs. "You know. For everything."

"Wow." I don't know what to mention first— how mature he's being right now or the fact that this has made me realize he never actually apologized before. But he is now, so where would that get me?

"I know it's not really easily forgivable," he remarks. "I sort of just left you for another man."

"Yeah you did," I answer with a nod.

He shakes his head. "And I know seeing me here must have been hard for you... and I probably haven't made it any easier. But one of the reasons we broke up— excluding Whizzer— was our trouble communicating. So what good was a breakup if we're still doing that?"

"That's a good point."

"How about it? Truce?"

I look him up and down. I know he's sorry and all, but does he really expect me to forget about all of it and play nice with him from now on? Then again, it has been four months since we started talking after being broken up for most of the spring and the summer. Hell, we've been broken up almost a year. Maybe it is time to play nice.

"Okay," I agree finally. "But this doesn't mean we're best friends. I still resent what you did, and the million comments you just made today about me and Mendel."

"What do you and Mendel have to do with this?"

"I'd be asking you the same fucking question."

Marvin blinks. "Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing you about Mendel. Jesus. On that note, can you stop pointing out what a mess my relationship with Whizzer is? Because believe me, I know."

"Fine." I reluctantly hold out my hand. "I guess we should make it official?"

He sticks out his own hand and shakes mine. "There. Happy?" he asks.

"Yep. Unlike your relationship," I remark before turning swiftly and walking in another direction.

"I told you to stop doing that!" Marvin calls after me.

-

I'm at Cordelia's apartment later, kicking back after a long day. Which felt longer than usual because of my talk with Marvin and the fact that I had an oral report due today. Stress always makes the day drag on.

We're sitting on the couch and have just decided to paint our nails. "What do you think of this color?" Cordelia asks, showing me a bottle of nail polish. It's bright pink— not my thing, but I think it would suit her, so I nod approvingly.

"You know, I don't really want to do my nails," I reconsider, setting aside the color I picked out before. "I can help you with your other hand, though. There's just so much that's been going on..."

"Tell me about it," she sighs, unscrewing the lid on the bright pink. "I mean, to be fair, I don't know the half of what you're going through. For me it's just been work."

I stare at her in surprise. "You can handle a job? Jesus Christ, I make my money helping random old people do yard work on the weekends."

"Not gonna lie, that sounds so much better than my job," she remarks. "I'm a barista, and let me tell you, it is exhausting. I'm glad I took the job in the first place, though, because that's how I met Charlotte."

"Didn't you guys already go to the same school anyway?"

She leans back and laughs. "Don't ruin my job completely for me."

"Maybe I should get a real job too," I muse. "I know it'll be tough to balance because of school and everything, plus you just finished telling me how grueling your job is, but..."

"I wouldn't worry about it," she tells me. "As long as you already have some money. And once summer gets here, you'll have way more free time to work."

Right. She has a point. I have enough stress in my life as it is.

We sit around for the rest of the afternoon. Cordelia continues to paint her nails, and I help her with the other hand. I think we're the only ones in the apartment— Whizzer's out doing who knows what, and Charlotte isn't visiting today. It's nice, though. Peaceful. And it's helping us get to know each other better.

"How does it look?" Cordelia holds out her hands, showing me her newly painted nails. The pink is so bright it almost hurts my eyes, but I smile.

"It's very you."

She grins. "Thanks." Shaking her hands out so the nail polish will dry, she turns to me and says, "So. How's your love life at the moment? Everybody knows you have the hots for Mendel."

I feel myself blushing, not for the first time today. "Why is everyone saying that?" And, how on earth do they know?

"It's the sexual tension, Trina."

"I don't think you've even seen me and Mendel in the same room since that one time you were too drunk to stand," I snap. "How would you even know."

"I've met you. I've met Mendel. I've seen the way you guys talk about each other. Also, I'm in a relationship and I live with someone who's in a relationship, so I'm basically an expert on this."

I sigh heavily. "Fine, you caught me. I like Mendel. But don't you dare tell him. I can't have us both struggling with our unresolved feelings for each other."

"Considering the sexual tension, he probably already knows," she quips.

"If you say 'sexual tension' one more time, I'm leaving."

She pauses. "Sexual tension."

"Goddammit, Cordelia." I throw my hands in the air in frustration and get up to leave. "I'll see you later."

"Have fun with Mendel!" she calls as I head out the door.

"Oh, my God."