The Good Bagels

Marvin

A few days later, we're still at the cottage. I've really started to get used to this, and I don't really want to go back. It's peaceful here, and since it's spring break, we have no school and we get to sleep in.

Well, I want to sleep in. But this morning, Whizzer shakes me awake at, like, 6:30. "Get up," he whispers in my ear.

"What?" I open my eyes and grab the digital clock by our bed. "No, Whizzer, it's not even 7:00. Just let me have a few more hours." I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep.

"Marvin, get up. Your phone's ringing."

"My phone's ringing— oh, shit." I sit up suddenly and turn to him. "Where? Where's my phone? Do you know who's calling?"

He grimaces as he hands it to me. "It's your mom."

No, no, no. I can't do this right now. Why did I ever send that fucking text message? Whizzer was right all along. I wasn't ready for this, and I'm still not.

"You should answer."

"I know," I sigh. "I'm just scared."

Whizzer stares at my phone for a while, then quickly presses the accept button before ducking back under the covers. "Whizzer!" I scream, but he's already pretending to be asleep. I take a deep breath and hold the phone to my ear.

"Marvin?" It's my mom's voice. I don't know what I was expecting. "Hi, honey. I feel like we haven't spoken in ages."

"Yeah," I reply, since we probably haven't. Actually, the last time we really talked was over winter vacation, other than a quick "how's it going" text from time to time.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at my friend Mendel's cottage." I pause. "Look, Mom, I know that's probably not what you called me about."

I can hear her thoughtful silence. "No, you're right. I guess I should just cut to the chase. This is about that text message you sent us on Monday."

I was right. Excuse me while I go die.

"I don't know all of the context, Marvin, but was this one of your friends playing a joke?"

My heart sinks. "No."

"Okay." She's quiet again, and it feels like a hundred years before she starts talking. "Obviously, we have a lot to unpack here."

"Yeah," I say. I can't get anything more than one-syllable answers out right now.

"This is a lot to process."

"Right."

"And of course, it's going to take some getting used to. The fact that you're gay."

I try not to let it show in my voice how much I'm suffering right now. "'Kay."

"But, Marvin, your father and I are going to love you no matter what. I wish that you could have told us sooner, but we're always going to support you and we're so glad you felt comfortable enough to share that with us."

Is this a dream? Because this is literally what she said when I came out to her in one of my dreams. Well, in another one, she sold me to One Direction, but we don't talk about that dream.

"Thanks," is my one-syllable reply. I'm sure she doesn't know the half of how relieved I am to hear her say it.

"Did it go well?" Whizzer whispers from beside me.

I pick up my pillow and push it into his face. "Yes. Shut up now."

"I want to talk about this more when you have the time, of course," my mom goes on from the other end of the phone. "But just remember that we love you, and we'd be delighted to meet your boyfriend."

Whizzer is listening. "Is she talking about me?" he asks gleefully.

"Sorry, Mom, I'm going to have to let you go," I stammer. "Thanks again, and I'm really glad it worked out, love you, see you soon." I hang up and turn to Whizzer. "What the hell? That was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life."

"Sorry," he admits. "But it went well?"

I toss my phone to the bedside table. "Yeah, it went well. Really well. I'm just so relieved that they supported me. We never talked about it much in my family."

"I'm relieved too," he tells me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Now you can finally stop worrying."

"Agreed. But the problem is, it's 6:36 and I don't see any possibility of going back to sleep."

Whizzer smiles. "Yeah, me neither. But it's okay. We can go have breakfast before everyone else. We can get... the good bagels."

"The good bagels?" I say skeptically as he's climbing off the bed. All the bagels are pretty much the same, but he nods, and I follow him out of the room anyway. Since it's still spring, the sun is supposed to rise around 7AM, meaning we still have 15 minutes or so of mostly darkness in the kitchen, but I don't mind. Like I said before, it's peaceful.

We're in the kitchen, toasting our bagels, and I'm thinking about my brief but extremely relieving phone call with my mom. I don't know what I thought she would say, but I was glad it didn't come to the worst I could think of.

"What are you guys doing?" Charlotte comes into the kitchen, still in her pajamas with her sleep mask pushed over her forehead. She looks annoyed.

"We're making breakfast," Whizzer answers. He waves the toast under her nose. "Mmm... bagels."

She slaps his hand away. "Cordelia and I just woke up. Why aren't you still in bed?"

"My mom called and then I wasn't tired anymore," I explain. "You two can go back to sleep, though. We'll just be here eating bagels."

Cordelia walks in then, pulling her hair out of the bun I'm assuming she slept in. "Hey, everyone," she yawns. "Did you know Trina's not in bed?"

Whizzer looks up, intrigued. "That's weird. Why wouldn't she still be asleep?"

"Same reason we're not?" I point out with a shrug.

"Yeah, that's right," Charlotte says, glancing down the hall. "Hey... have any of you seen Mendel this morning?"

"Oh, hell no." I storm out of the kitchen and through the living room to Mendel's bedroom. I swing open the door. I look at his bed, and to my surprise, he isn't there either. I walk back into the kitchen, confused. The three of them are standing there expectantly.

Whizzer's biting his nails. "Are they having sex?"

"No, Whizzer, and it's a little weird how obsessed you are with that," I snap. I turn to the others. "He's not even there."

"They're both gone?" Cordelia asks. "Oh my gosh. Do you guys think they were kidnapped?"

"No," responds Charlotte.

I scratch the side of my head, annoyed. "Let's just forget about it," I tell them. "I want to eat some breakfast and go back to sleep." I try to take the plate of bagels from Whizzer, but he holds it over my head (damn height difference).

"We need to solve this mystery first," he insists. "Now, let's see. Where could Trina and Mendel have gone off to?"

"Maybe the store?" Cordelia muses. "They're usually the ones doing the shopping because we're lazy as fuck."

Charlotte shrugs. "Well. That's true."

"Focus, you two. This is a big problem," Whizzer tells them.

I roll my eyes. "No, it's not. Who cares where Mendel and Trina went? We'll just wait for them to get back. And if they never do— well, it'll be a less cramped car ride home, I guess."

"Fine, then," Charlotte mutters. "Can we eat?"

As if on cue to interrupt our breakfast, I can hear the front door open and Mendel and Trina's voices from outside the kitchen. Even though I'm hungry, I go see what's going on.

"Where were you guys?"

That's when they both notice me. "Oh, morning, Marvin," Trina says, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "We were just on a walk."

"At 7:00 in the morning? Also, it's freezing outside," I remind them.

"We dressed accordingly," Mendel replies, shrugging off his jacket. I'm about to go back into the kitchen, but notice, for a split second, the two of them sharing a smile. And I'm not getting a very good feeling about this smile.

Whizzer comes out, disrupting my train of thought. "Marvin, come on. Almost all the good bagels are gone."

"For Christ's sake, I've been out here for five seconds," I complain, following him back in, mainly to get away from Mendel and Trina. It doesn't do any good, though, because they come with us. I reach for one of the bagels, but Whizzer stops me. "Quit doing that," I hiss.

"Let them eat first," he suggests, motioning to the two that just got back. "They've been on a walk all morning. They're probably starved."

I glare at him. "Fine."

"Thanks," Mendel tells him. He glances at Trina over his shoulder, and they share another look, and I have no idea what's going on. "Actually, you guys, I think we have something to tell you. Trina and I are together."

Whizzer drops the plate, even though I'm sure this isn't a surprise to any of us. To tell the truth, we've been expecting it to happen for months now. So why does it bother me all of a sudden?

"Together, together?" Charlotte removes her sleep mask. "As in, a couple?"

Trina half-smiles. "Well, sort of. We only talked about it a few days ago, but God knows we've waited long enough for this."

"Yeah," Mendel laughs. "We were such cowards."

"I'm so happy for you guys!" exclaims Cordelia, and even Whizzer gives them a nod of approval.

So I'm the only one who's not totally okay with this? All right, sure, they're clearly in love or whatever, but it just happened so suddenly. Actually, that's not true either. Like Trina said, it's been a long time. Time I should have had to prepare for this. The time Trina didn't get for the news about Whizzer.

"Now that that's out of the way, we can have breakfast," Mendel says, rubbing his hands together. Whizzer looks down at the floor, where the plate of bagels is lying, broken. I don't really care. I'm not hungry anymore. I decide to just take a break in my room.

I've been lying on the bed for a few minutes, thinking about Mendel and Trina, about my mom, Whizzer, everything, when Charlotte knocks on the door frame.

"Can I come in?" she asks sheepishly. I give her a tired nod and she enters and sits on the blanket. "How's it going?"

"Fine." I can't explain my feelings about this to her, because I can't even explain them to myself.

She sighs. "I know that a part of you probably still feels like Trina is yours, Marvin, but it's been a year. You need to let her move on. Just like..."

"Just like I did. I know." I sit up. "I don't mind that she has a new boyfriend, trust me. And I'm not trying to be a hypocrite. But something bothers me about the fact that she chose Mendel."

"Well, you can't choose love. I'm sure you've had to explain that to someone in your lifetime," she laughs a little, and I just give her a confused look. She raises an eyebrow in surprise. "No? I hate to say it'll probably happen sometime. But you've also got to realize it yourself— you didn't choose to love Whizzer, and she didn't choose to love Mendel."

I purse my lips, because I know she's right. "I just don't know why we're all so involved in each other's lives. I mean, it's Mendel's fault I'm even still talking to Trina after all these months, and then he has to go out and date her?"

"Does it not seem fair?"

"Not really." I pause. "I guess it's fair. It just makes me feel weird for some reason."

She gives a small shrug. "That's fine. It's a pretty new thing. Not any weirder than everything else that's been happening these last few months, but it sure is something," she remarks.

I decide to change the subject. "Do you want to know why my mom called earlier?"

"Why was that?"

"She got my text." I'm sure that was obvious from the start, but I still feel like telling here. "God, it was such a relief to hear her say she supported me. I know not many gay kids get that with their parents, and..."

"Aww, I'm so proud of you." She pats me on the shoulder and smiles. "Really. Now let's focus on the positives like that, okay? Don't worry about whatever's going on with Mendel and Trina. Enjoy our next few days here."

I nod. She's right. And to tell the truth, I am pretty hungry, so it's probably time to go back and eat breakfast.

When I get back to the kitchen, everybody's talking, and it's sort of all over the place but I like the energy. It helps me realize, like Charlotte said, that you can't choose love and you have to stop focusing on the negatives.

She's actually really good with advice. Why have I been seeing Mendel all this time?