Chapter 39: Funny Business

"Food courts!" Cora exclaimed, eyeing one of the drowsy suits as they were startled awake again. "Malls! These are crucial territories of the Cool Beans empire. My fellow compatriots and I are willing and ready to defend them from our enemies. But it's up to you, esteemed generals, to make the right choices and lead us to victory. Now, show of hands: who's with me?"

Cora didn't let herself think as she thrust her arm into the air, only realizing what she had done when she spotted Farron mirroring her with a proud grin. A second and a whispered "oh" later, Kevin followed suit, and the marketing employees at the other end of the room gradually joined in as well. It took another beat for the first suits to join in, most doing nothing more than lifting their limp limbs, but at least they were all conscious.

While it was far from the reaction Cora hoped for, she couldn't let that stop her. She flung her arm towards the projection screen, and the suits' eyes obediently followed.

"So seven out of ten Cool Beans locations in our district are located within other businesses instead of operating as standalone stores," Cora said. Behind her, the laptop clicked as Kevin changed the slide. "Not only is it more cost effective for us, but it's the best way for us to draw in customers who may not be willing to go out of their way solely for our products."

"Sorry, hold on," another suit said, leaning forward with their brows furrowed. "You're telling me we still have locations in malls?"

Cora stared at them, then at Farron and Kevin, but both looked just as confused as she felt. Were they all really that oblivious? Were these suits really board members?

"Yes," Robin said from the other end of the room, glancing at the questioning suit for less than a second, her face expressionless, before nodding at Cora. "Please continue, Ms. Chun."

"Uh, thank you." Cora's eyes scanned her note cards again, trying to remember where she left off. "So...our locations inside other businesses, like food courts, would normally be a great way to draw in customers who are just passing by."

With her mind back on track, Cora turned back to her audience, her dramatics ready. "At the same time, being around other businesses can pose a challenge when our citizens—our customers—are distracted by the alternative options present on the battlefield."

She approached the projection screen just as Kevin switched the slide to show the Cool Beans logo in the center, and the icons of other food businesses materialized around it one by one.

"Under normal conditions, this wouldn't be a problem, and what Cool Beans offers wouldn't be anything like the selection of other businesses," Cora said, gesturing at the other logos. "But with recent additions to our menu, things have changed. When we tried to gain the higher ground with new items, the battlefield shifted. New wars were waged. And unfortunately, my esteemed generals, the tide did not turn in our favor."

"Oh..." the burger-eating suit said, their eyes darting from the slideshow to the wrapper in their hands; one restaurant logo was in both locations. "Should I stop?"

"No, it's fine!" Cora said, biting back her annoyance from having to slip out of character yet again. "I was saying that it normally wouldn't matter that we're next to, say, a burger place because we don't serve burgers, so there's not as much competition. In fact, it actually might help us when someone eating a burger wants a beverage that's not on their menu."

"So..." the burger eater's eyes darted around, "I can keep eating?"

Cora forced her smile to remain as wide as ever. "Of course!"

As the suit eagerly turned back to their meal, Cora, once again, looked at her note cards.

"Our goal was a noble one: conquer the beverage industry with fruity drinks." She glanced at the projection as the logos of other businesses faded away, leaving only Cool Beans and Fruitastic. "Our soldiers were ready, eagerly awaiting at the front lines of the register to promote and recommend these thirst-quenching beverages!"

She paused, then released a dramatic sigh as she looked to each member of her audience with feigned pain. "But the resources... They weren't enough. Our supplies were lacking, not in terms of drink components, but in terms of marketing—advertisements. Without that, our soldiers fell where they stood, unable to fend off the enemy from taking our beloved citizens, unable to protect them from the persuasive propaganda of our rivals."

With that, she let the brief animation on the slideshow play in silence: a giant Angie the Orange emerging from the background, looming over the Cool Beans logo with a sinister grin. Then, darkness.

"And that's why I'm here," Cora said, turning to the audience again. "To propose a new battle plan, a new approach to the warfront of fruity drinks. As someone who has faced the enemy firsthand, who has experienced the merciless wrath of their citrus mascot, I believe the information I possess is invaluable to the cause."

She nodded at Kevin, but just as the pitch black faded away, revealing a slide of data, a familiar song began to play: the Fruitastic jingle. Cora froze. They wouldn't have accidentally used that as a transition sound, would they? She didn't even think they included any audio, aside from the anonymous customer testimonies, but those were still a few slides away.

From within the audience, there was a sigh.

"Sorry, it's an...inside joke," one of the suits mumbled, pulling out their phone. Then, just as Cora didn't think it could get any worse, they answered it. "Mom? Is something wrong?"

Like everyone else in the room, Cora stared at the talking suit, her eyes wide and mouth ajar. Her carefully crafted introduction, meant to capture the attention of even the toughest of crowds, had been ruined.

The phone talker frowned. "Why am I answering? What do you mean? I figured if you were calling me during a meeting you sent me to, it was urgent."

Cora stared at them, confused. That suit was sent to the meeting? By their mom? But when Cora looked to the opposite end of the table, hoping Robin would have answers, the woman and the rest of the marketing division gave nothing away. Two were flipping through the printed slides themselves, while Robin herself stared at the phone talker with a blank expression. Only the last employee exemplified Cora's feelings perfectly as they hunched over the table with their fingers massaging their temples.

"Cora," Farron whispered from behind her, their voice barely audible over the suit's grumbling.

When Cora turned, Farron held out their phone. On it were professional headshots of various middle-aged people in business suits, along with their names and other details. At the top was the Cool Beans logo. Just below it in bold letters was "Board of Directors." And unless they all regressed to their college years, they were not the people in front of her.

Cora stared at the images one more time before turning back to her uncooperative audience. "What's going on here?"

As loud as the phone talker was, Cora managed to surpass them and their mom, and all eyes turned to her.

Before she could worry about speaking out of turn, though, Robin sighed, then leaned into her microphone. "Apologies, Ms. Chun. Hopefully we can get back to your presentation soon."

"Are you all really the board of directors?" Cora asked, glancing at the suits around her. "Is this some kind of prank?"

While the suits exchanged awkward glances, Robin sighed again. "Not a prank, Ms. Chun. Just...training."

When Cora could only reply with a bewildered stare, Robin grimaced. "I admit these are not the current board members, but they will be in time. It's their parents who are in charge of things now, and they wanted to use this meeting as a chance to give their children a taste of what it's like to run a business."

Cora could only continue to stare at Robin, shocked. What in the world of nepotism was this?

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Robin leaned back, blinking, and Farron coughed from somewhere behind her. Shoot, Cora said that out loud, hadn't she?

Before she could apologize for her bluntness, she paused. What did she have to be sorry for? She was there to state facts. All she was changing was the topic, going from marketing limited edition products to the presence of corrupt business practices. She was there to argue a point, and boy, was she going to go to town.

Cora let out a small huff and stood tall. "Has that always been the intended purpose of this meeting? Did you have me spend all this time preparing a presentation and coming all the way here just to use me for training?"

The room answered her with silence. Even the phone talker muttered a soft "I'll call you back" before pocketing their phone.

"I've been working my butt off for this company for the past eight years, just to get a single promotion," Cora snapped. "And when I finally think I'm catching the break I've dreamed about, it turns out my time is just being wasted to help a bunch of corporate babies whose only qualification is their genetics."

Robin cleared her throat. "O-of course not. We've seen all of your Beannovations, and we were excited to meet the spirited Cool Bean behind such fantastic ideas."

"So you really have seen all of my ideas? From over the past eight years?" Cora scoffed. "Let me guess: you set up this meeting to dissuade me from sending in more suggestions. I was bothering you, and you wanted me to stop, but you didn't have the time to waste to tell me."

When Robin opened her mouth to answer but no sound came out, Cora knew what the truth was, and she knew she wasn't going to tolerate it any longer. So she took a deep breath, held her head high, and dragged her narrowed eyes over every single one of the suits before ending across the table.

"Fine," Cora hissed. "I won't bother you any more. Because I quit. This company doesn't deserve me, and they never have."

Then, to the suits around her, "I hope you all enjoy your training while it lasts. Because at the rate this company's going..." she inhaled sharply through her teeth, "I don't think it's going to last much longer."

While Cora didn't think they would believe her empty threat, she didn't care. All she cared about was how free her body felt as she approached Farron and their wide smile, then headed with them for the door.

"Just to clarify," Kevin muttered, and Cora glanced back to see him raising a hand as he unplugged his laptop. "I'm not quitting. I kind of need this job."

Robin sighed from the back of the room. "Noted. Just...leave."

They didn't need to be told twice. Cora raced out of there as fast as she could with Farron right beside her and Kevin clamoring behind them. She even led them down the emergency stairwell; she would say that escaping a horde of nepotism babies qualified as an emergency. When they finally burst out into the open air, Cora's first breath felt full...free—

She coughed as soon as the smell of exhaust hit her. Alright, maybe her first moments of freedom weren't perfect, but they were good enough.

"That was amazing," Farron said, wrapping an arm around Cora with a wide grin. "You were amazing."

As they beamed with pride, Cora couldn't help but smile too. "Thanks. That did feel pretty good."

"I bet," Kevin whispered. "I need to get some of that confidence."

Farron squeezed Cora's waist. "What finally made you go through with that?"

After a pause, Cora sighed. "I guess I was finally done with being underappreciated. I'm proud of everything I've accomplished, and if they can't acknowledge me—if anyone can't acknowledge me—then...they don't deserve me." Cora met Farron's eyes and wrapped her own arm around them. "You helped me see that." Then, before Kevin could say anything, she glanced at him. "You helped too, I guess."

When Cora's eyes returned to Farron, they chuckled. "I'm happy to help."

When they kissed—even though they were right outside Cool Beans headquarters, even with city traffic zipping in front of them, and even with Kevin cooing from a few feet away—Cora had never felt more alive.