Chapter 33: Rock Stars Have Surprisingly Good Vocabularies

Trace

Kat slays me.

She walks into our suite looking like a teenage Aphrodite in a sweet little green babydoll dress with a face painted for sin. Before I can say a word, she gives me the up-and-down. Her expression is unreadable, but if I had to guess, I'd say she looks...a little shocked.

"I can't believe you," she whispers.

What? Oh Christ—did she somehow find out about Ashlynn? Did Mac slip up? Has the story broken and I don't even know? While I'm panicking, Kat's eyes flare and she moans a little.

"How can you look so damn sexy in jeans and a t-shirt? It's really wrong of you, to show me up without trying."

Relief floods my system, followed quickly by the need for a little revenge. Oh, KittyKat, you know you are hot as hellfire. But you wanna play games? I'm down.

I control the face. I bring the swagger—the real swagger, the kind I haven't used on her yet. I back her up with my presence. I don't even touch her, and she's planted herself against the door, shaky breathing and shit.

"Don't kiss me," she says, jutting her chin towards me, begging me to do what she just told me not to. She's throwing off this fuck-me-but-don't-touch-me-without-permission vibe.

It's hot.

Fuck her permission.

I push my fingers through her carefully styled hair.

"Don't. You can't ever kiss me without getting us all hot and smeary," she pants, "and you'll mess up all Tamara's work."

I inch closer. I can feel her sweet breath on my lips.

"Fucking rock stars who take what they want," she hisses, but her lips are already curling to meet mine.

I push away with an evil grin. "Fine, I'll leave Tam's work in place for now. But you really do look...delectable."

She licks her lips. "You can taste me...later."

We both know she's not talking about me tasting her mouth.

"You should be quiet," I advise her as sweetly as possible. "Because your smart mouth is controverting my self-control."

She rolls her eyes. "Delectable? Controverting? What kind of nerd uses four syllable words to flirt?"

I chuckle. Kat just can't stop running her mouth. I think she knows how hot it makes me, the way she teases me. Other girls don't talk to me like this. Ever. Not the fangirls, not the celebrity hook-ups, not even the nice, normal intelligent, going-places girls I occasionally meet through random situations who don't know who I am at first. But eventually they all only see the rock star, and they all act the part they think I want them to play. They are mostly eager to use their mouths for other things. Which can also be good, but I like the way Kat uses hers to talk to me.

"Hard to use big words in song lyrics. I have to sneak them in somewhere." I take her hands, pull her from the door as I walk us around the room, collecting my wallet and phone, and then moving back out into the hall. It's ridiculous, but when we are alone,I need to be touching her, all the time. I can't stop. It's like I'm afraid she might disappear, if I don't have a hold on her.

"It's hot, how you're secretly so much smarter than you let on," she murmurs as we waltz down the hall arm in arm.

"Oh, you like four syllable words, huh? I can find a few more to describe you." I punch the elevator button, and look her up and down. She's stolen my heart but thief is not a four syllable word. "Spectacular. Exceptional. Intelligent. Benevolent."

She laughs at the last one. "Benevolent? What—you think I'm Mother Theresa or something?

"You're incredible," I kiss her hand. "For being so understanding. About Ash—"

"Nope," she cuts me off with a quick peck on the lips. "Four syllable words. Not two-syllable names that begin with A. Not tonight, on our date, ok?"

"Absolutely fine with me," I assure her. "Because I have a few more words for you. You are also charismatic. And provocative. And I like getting rambunctious with you," I whisper and smile innocently up at the elevator numbers descending toward us.

"Hmmmmm, well it just so happens that I was thinking of a couple of four-syllable date activities myself. Maybe we could negotiate them later?"

I lift an eyebrow, "I'm amenable to your hearing your ideas..."

She moves close to my ear. Then even closer, until I feel her hot breath. She whispers two four syllable words. Technical, old-fashioned words. Hardly anybody uses them anymore, and they sound weird when people say them. But they both mean the same thing—she wants to climb higher up the love tree.

She wants oral. Both ways.

"Fuck," I hiss

Another four syllable word flashes in my mind-one that doesn't quite fit, but one I still can't quite push away.

Adulterer.

I'm not that. It's not like that with me and Ashlynn. But I feel so damn guilty for the growing intimacy between me and Kat, without the full disclosure on my part.

Just like that. My resolve breaks.

I can't keep up this evasion another night. I can't do this with her—take her to bed every night and escalate things without the truth between us. I have to tell her about Vegas tonight, before any more intimate stuff happens. I know that now. I look down at her, my beautiful, trusting girl. I know she's going to feel shocked, blindsided.

How the hell am I going to tell her?

I don't know.

I just know I want to give her one fun, silly, simple date before I hurt her. If she walks away, we will at least have the memory of tonight, and not that god-awful New Year's memory as our biggest night.

"That's one syllable," she's saying. It takes me a second to comprehend. Oh right, I just said 'fuck' in response to her outrageous mouth. "And I thought that was off the table, for now. But if you've changed your mind, I could wear those really nice, black lace shoes you bought me to bed tonight. Sexed up by a rock star while wearing Louboutins is really a good deflowering, don't you think?" she winks.

Despite my messed up head, Kat's wicked mouth and the thought of her in those shoes and nothing else is doing things to me. "Tell me something, HellKat—do you find it gratifying give me a hard-on in public?" I murmur.

"Definitely," She's smug, as the elevator door slides open and I maneuver her in front of me, to cover the evidence of our conversation. I decide to let her have the last four-syllable word.

In the elevator, things get even more uncomfortable. We are both surprised to be confronted with the young couple we watched in the courtyard this morning. I'm trying to keep Kat in front of me and we are both trying not to giggle. I catch the red-head looking at me, and I see the flicker of recognition in her eyes. She knows who I am. She squeezes her husband's?—yep, wedding ring—hand and nudges him to look at me. His eyes go wide.

"Oh shit! You're..."

"Yeah," I acknowledge with a smile, wrapping my arms around Kat and pulling her closer,feeling distinctly uncomfortable. I'd rather have Kat behind me, not in front of me. I have had a couple of crazy incidents being recognized, and we are confined in an elevator. But these people seem totally normal, and I don't want to flash my boner to the nice, normal, pregnant lady in front of her nice normal husband, if in fact they are nice and normal.

"I'm a big fan of your band. Actually, we're in town to catch your show."

"That's cool, thanks man," I reach out a hand. "Congratulations, by the way," I acknowledge the baby elephant in the womb.

"Thanks," the pregnant girl beams, rubbing her belly. "We are trying to do some fun things, before it gets real for a while."

Kat murmurs her congratulations, too, and then the elevator slides open.

Surprise, surprise. Mac and Adam, together again. Despite what they say about breaking things off, they can't seem to stay away from each other. Mac has the deer-in-headlights look that is apparently becoming her default expression. Although, after what Adam told me last night, I guess a baseline state of shock is normal.

Adam guides her gently into the elevator, giving me the chin up and looking quizzically at the fans as their eyes get wider. I give the chin up back to indicate yep, we're made by these guys, but they are cool.

"Uhhh, Mac, Adam these guys are actually in town to see the show...sorry, I didn't get your names?"

"Hunter and Lily," the dude supplies and Adam shakes hands.

Mac is staring at Lily. "Mac," Adam murmurs gently, trying to prompt her to make nice with the fans. She jumps, smiles at the fans, but her eyes fall on the girl's pregnant belly again. She backs up into Adam, and turns to look at him, with an expression like she's utterly lost—like she doesn't know where she is or what day it is.

"I don't know," she says to Adam.

"I know you don't," Adam says. He raises a hand like he's going to rub her back, but remembering the fans, he drops it. They both stare at the pregnant girl. Adam swallows heavily.

Damn guys, can you be a little more obvious?

Lily and Hunter exchange a look. Hunter gaze goes briefly to Mac's midsection and then he tries to make his face expressionless as he stares at the ground.

I should say something distracting before these people leave the elevator thinking Mac is either drugged up or knocked up, or both. We've got enough bad press right now.

"Trace, tomorrow night's show is outdoors, right?" Kat asks, trying to fill the uncomfortable pause.

"Uhhh, yeah. Festival style. No seats, just blankets, I think." I'm considering kicking Mac in the shin, just to stop her from staring at Lily's baby belly. Would it be uncool to kick a maybe-pregnant chic? Okay, maybe I'll just stomp on her foot.

"It's going to be really hot. Really uncomfortable," Kat says with raised eyebrows, looking at me like she's trying to tell me something.

"Yeah, a real fucking scorcher," I agree. "People will probably be passing out right and left." Oh! I get where Kat is going now. "Listen, you guys...since it's a special trip for you two...and we are now hotel buddies, will you let us hook you up with some backstage passes? There will be A/C, cool drinks back there, you can chill and watch the show comfortably," I gesture at Lily's advanced pregnancy. "Least we can do for our youngest fan, right?" I grin.

I take their number, and tell them my guy will be in touch tonight with the passes and instructions, while I shoot Riley the request. They are super appreciative and we end up taking a photo with them as we all exit to the lobby. Everyone but Kat. I'm careful to maneuver her out of the shot.

We leave Hunter and Lily, who are headed for dinner in the hotel restaurant. Adam goes with them—probably to have their dinner put on his tab, and charm them a little, smooth over the Mac weirdness. He's good like that with fans. Mac trails us to the service entrance, donning a hat to hide her signature hair and sunglasses. I kiss Kat on the temple as I release her, and tuck my arm in Mac's.

"You ok, Macaroni?" She doesn't meet my eyes, just nods. I sigh.

She's so not. I tease her a little, trying to get her to lighten up. "Are you planning on crashing our date?"

I'm scanning around for John, our main security guy. Surely if Mac is planning to go out, she's taking him. The French Quarter is not the safest place Mac to be wandering around alone. When a second dark sedan pulls up behind ours, I say, "Where's John?"

"He's already in the car," Adam's confirms from behind. "We're gonna grab a bite."

"Awww, Mac, decide to give my boy a shot after all?" I grin at Adam. I try not to stare at her. Mac's like the magic 8ball right now.

Outcome uncertain.

"Not like that," Adam says with a completely stoic expression. "Just to talk, and get right for the show. We're meeting Leed and Bodie later on Frenchman Street at y.p.a."

"Hmmmm. I like that bar. Great music. Maybe we'll swing by."

I kiss Mac's cheek. "Chin up, girl. You're a star." She gives me a watery smile.

In our car, I can finally give Kat the attention she deserves. I tell her how beautiful she is, how excited I am for our date, how good she was with the fans in the elevator, how smooth she was at helping me see that I could make the concert better for Lily. She accepts the compliments with a brilliant smile, but returns to watching Mac and Adam out the back window, with a faraway look.

"You think they are going to be ok?" she asks.

I let out a long sigh. I'd like to say yes, but I don't know. This is a big fucking deal. Adam is trying to play it steady for Mac, but he's torn up over this. He was so wasted last night. He never does that shit—gets drunk and spills his guts. He feels so helpless, because this is something he can't smooth out. He has to let Mac take the lead, and it's killing him that she might make her decision out of fear and not love.

I love Adam like a brother, but I sort of...see it Mac's way. Nobody should have a kid before they are sure they are ready. My mom got pregnant with me their senior year of college, and they hadn't been dating long, but decided to make a go of it. That turned into a disaster that lasted twenty-one years.

"I hope so. I really do. But it's...serious, what's going down with them."

Kat has a weird look on her face. Then she turns her intelligent eyes on me. "You know Trace, it was kind of weird this morning, what you said about Hunter and Lily—that maybe the condom broke. Where did that come from?"

"KittyKat, what do you know?" I ask suspiciously.

She looks at me and plays with her outrageously short skirt. "I'm just wondering what you know."

"Mac talk to you?"

"Last night—Adam pulling you in for a drink—did he talk to you?"

"Uhhhm..." Shit, this is weird. I really don't want to keep secrets from Kat. Not my own, not Mac and Adam's.

We meet each other's eyes. We both blurt out, "The condom broke!" at the exact same moment.

Kat slaps a hand over her mouth, and I bury my head against her shoulder and squeeze her thigh. "Fucking crazy, huh?" I mutter.

"Yeah, she's pretty freaked out. She made me pinky swear not to tell you. I feel bad."

"Baby, I already knew. Adam was torn up last night—that's one of the reasons I lost track of time. I couldn't just walk away from him."

Kat is surprised. "Really? He seems calm."

"He's trying to be. He wants to be there for her. But he's still freaking out. It's a situation they are in together, and yet he has no say."

"He really wants all that right now...a kid, marriage?" Kat asks in disbelief.

"I don't think it's that, Kat. He just feels...helpless. He feels like she might resent him, if she turns out to be pregnant, and has to make a choice one way or the other. But he's also afraid if she goes ahead with the emergency birth control, she's going to push him away because she doesn't want to think about what might have been. He doesn't know what to say, what to do, what the right thing is to be there for her." Kind of like I don't know how to tell you that I'm married to your sister.

"Actually, I think he did ok. I mean, from what Mac said. At least he was honest, and he tried to really tell her everything he was thinking. She can't ask for more than him letting her into where he's at with it. She's freaked out right now, but maybe eventually, she'll see that."

God, I hope her words are prophetic, because I'm planning to let her into my thoughts, later tonight. And I hope she is as understanding of me as she is of Adam.

"Mmmmm. I hope so," is all I can manage. "I hope they are both headed in the same direction with this."

She squints at me. "Speaking of directions, are you going to tell me where we are going?"

I grin. "Nope. You gotta wait for it. Will all this melodrama everywhere, we need an old-fashioned, surprise date."

She runs her fingers slowly through the back of my hair and she snuggles into the seat with me. "No drama with us, TG. We're just a normal, boring couple now. No crime, no secrets, no crazy."

Oh, how I wish that were true.

"But also...no sex," she adds dryly and sips her champagne. She cannot resist giving me shit.

"Well can you blame me? Mac and Adam have scared me off sex right now."

She tips her champagne glass at me. "That's a fair point. Here's to abstinence. I think I'd rather be a virgin than a breeder."

I snort, nuzzling her neck. "Well, I didn't say no sex, ever. Abstinence seems kind of like a hard line."

"You're maddening. You say you want to wait, now you want to do it."

"No, I didn't mean—" Fuck it, I'm not having another heavy conversation right now on our date."Here's what we are going to do," I say snatching her glass from her and throwing back the last swallow of champagne before putting the glass back in the holder.

"I'm waiting," she crosses her arms.

"We're going to fake it til we make it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

I grin evilly. "Allow me to demonstrate."

I fling myself on top of her, dry-humping her in the most uncoordinated way I can simulate and making obnoxious fake-sex sounds as she screeches with laughter and tries to push me off.

"Oh baby. Oh god, Kat. Yes! You're so good!" I've got her by the thighs, bouncing her around in the least rhythmic way possible. It's actually pretty difficult to act this uncoordinated. I'm a musician...my rhythm comes naturally.

"Oh my god...get off...you freak!" she can barely get the words out for laughing as she harmlessly slaps and pushes me.

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Now I'm laughing as I flail and I can't stop. "Told you...my shit...was ridiculous...didn't I?"

By the time we stop at the first light, I've abandoned my comedic simulation, but I have her beneath me on the seat. I'm holding her hands above her head with one of my one, and I'm just watching her twist and giggle underneath me. I lower down slowly, giving her my weight. She moans in pleasure and slowly draws her legs up around me. We've never been in this position before, our bodies fitted together for the simplest and sweetest lovemaking.

She rocks up against me, and my own body responds automatically, supplying the friction she so desperately wants.

"Trace?" there's a question in her voice. She's half pleading for me, half wanting me to assure her we are still playing.

Are we still playing? It's so tempting to take her now. If I did, if I proved to her with my body how much I love her, if I showed her how powerful our connection is going to be, would she think twice about leaving me when I tell her about Ashlynn?

She might, but the betrayal would hurt her ten times as bad.

I stop her hips with my weight.

"I just want to kiss you," I assure her. I don't know how many more times I will be allowed to kiss her.

"My make-up," she gasps. I chase her pouty bottom lip with my teeth as she turns her head to avoid the kiss.

"Be still. I don't give a goddamn about your make-up. You can fix it. Right now, I need your mouth."

"You're so bossy," she murmurs.

"And you're so turned on by it. Now shut up and make-out with me."

Her only response is her soft wet mouth opening to mine.