Chapter Fifteen

ALL THE THINGS I'VE YET TO DO (8): GO TO A CARNIVAL

“How long do you want to live, My?”

I look up at the familiar face and say confidently, “I want to live to be a hundred.”

He laughs and ruffles my hair. “I don’t think you’ll last that long.”

“And why not? I think I can do it,” I playfully stick out my tongue.

He looks out in front of us, watching the other kids at the park run around carelessly. “I don’t think I want to be around for that long.”

“Really?” I ask, laying on my back and gazing at the passing clouds.

My question is answered with a long moment of silence. When I turn to my right, Jonathan is already fading away.

“No!” I find myself screaming, awakening with a start.

I clutch my chest as I attempt to steady my breaths. Still heaving, I reach for the glass of water on my bedside table, but end up knocking it to the ground. Mango jumps up from his spot at my feet and watches me cautiously.

A string of curses leave my mouth as I pick up the glass that is thankfully still intact. Not having the energy to clean up the water, I grab my phone and check the time. After not sleeping at all last night, I decided to take a nap around 3pm. It’s now half past six.

I open the messages app to review the texts from the group chat that I missed while I was asleep. Scrolling to the top of the day’s chat, I see a screenshot of a flyer for a carnival tonight in a neighboring town. It seems that they all agreed to meet at 8.

Rubbing the remaining sleep from my eyes, I dial Ariel’s number.

“Hey you!” she says once the call connects. “How was your nap?”

“It was good,” I lie.

There are some ruffling sounds before she asks, “Are you up for tonight? I know you haven’t been sleeping well lately, so if you want to stay home, you can.”

“When have you ever seen me choose to stay home over hanging out with you? Plus, you know this is on my list, you guys can’t go without me,” I laugh, pausing before asking my next question. “Is he going to be there?”

Ariel sighs, “Maya, it’s been almost two weeks. Stop avoiding him.”

“So that’s a yes then?”

“Maya,” she drags out. “I’m not sure to be honest. I don’t know if the guys invited him.”

I groan in annoyance. “Let me start getting ready, send me a pic of what you’re wearing.”

I can almost hear the smile in her voice as she cheerily says, “You know I will!” and ends the call.

Rolling out of bed, I almost slide on the spilled liquid, letting out a small, “Eep!”

After cleaning the floor, I go give Mango his dinner before hopping into the shower.

It’s been a bit over a week and a half since the situation. He gave up on texting and calling me a few days ago. There’s no doubt that if he shows up tonight, he’ll try to corner me.

As for my mom, she’s been working most days, and when she is off, she’s tucked away in her office. I have no problem with this, even though I told my dad I would try to make peace with her. I stay in the shower for a long time, as if the water can wash away all of my pain and nightmares.

When the water begins to run cold, I shut off the pipe and begin getting ready. The past few nights have been very hot, as July is almost ready to roll in. I settle on wearing a pair of denim shorts and an oversized graphic tee. My curls sit atop my head in two buns, with a few strands out to frame my face.

As usual, I finish the look off with a set of lashes and a glossy lip with some liner. I walk across the room and into my closet to grab a small cross body bag to hold my wallet, my keys, and of course, my favourite lip gloss.

Ariel sends me a mirror picture of her in a pastel pink strapless sundress that hugs her frame, saying that she’s ready to leave if I am. I reply with a snap of my outfit and compliment her on hers.

Because the weather is nice, I decide to wait for her outside. I sit on the front steps and heavily breathe in the much needed fresh air. Not long after, I spot Ariel’s car coming up my street. I meet her at the side of the road and hop in the back seat.

“Hey guys!” I greet the twins,

“Hey best friend!” Adrian says in a girly voice.

Ariel smacks him in the head and flashes me a smile through the rearview mirror. I laugh at the interaction and we’re on our way to the next town over. As we drive, Adrian controls the music while his sister critiques every song choice.

I can tell we’re almost there by the ferris wheel that’s dominating the sky, even over the buildings. After a few more traffic lights, we arrive at a large parking lot, and see that the carnival is in full swing. We wait for Justin’s car to pull up in the spot next to us before getting out.

Ariel immediately throws herself into his dark arms as if she hasn’t seen him in forever. In reality, they had a breakfast date this morning. Eli wraps me in a bear hug before shaking hands with Adrian.

Justin breaks apart from his lover for enough time to give me a tight hug. “How’ve you been?”

Judging by the tone of his voice, I know that Ariel told him how I’ve been feeling down lately. I plaster on my realest fake smile and assure him, “I’m doing better now.”

Our group starts towards the entrance and I find myself mesmerized by all of the lights and attractions. I stare in awe as all of my senses are overloaded with different things. The air has a mixture of sweet and salty smells, and Eli has to grab my hand to make sure I don’t get left behind.

We walk past the stalls, and decide to start by playing some games. Ariel has her eyes set on a furry stuffed monkey and Justin vows to win it for her. To do this, he has to knock down three glass bottles. The rest of us stand back and watch as he hands over some cash and lines up to take his shots.

With one eye closed, he throws the ball, effectively knowing down bottle number one. He repeats this action and does the same to the second. When it comes to the third, he throws the ball with full force. We erupt into laughter as the last bottle barely lifts, and his ball drops to the ground.

“Shut the hell up!” he yells as he angrily hands the boy manning the booth a few more coins.

This happens three more times before Eli, Adrian, and I leave the two to find a multiplayer game. First up, we have to shoot water into the mouths of three ducks, respectively, and whoever fills up their balloon first wins.

Eli takes the first round, winning a tiny stuffed purple and white panda. I insist that we play again, but Adrian steals my win He selects a small purple sloth as his prize and I pout and argue that the game has to be rigged. At the same moment, the boys hand me their winnings.

My bottom lip juts out as I say, “I have the best dates ever!”

They both roll their eyes while I link arms with each of them, my stuffed animals in tow. We play a few more games that none of us could win before meeting back up with the lovebirds for food.

When we approach the wooden bench, I’m very amused to see that Justin had kept true to his vow.

“Bro, how much did you spend to get that?” laughs Eli once we’re close enough.

Justin responds by glaring at him and he immediately stops mid-chuckle. This causes me to burst out laughing, but before he can give me the same look, his phone rings.

“Yo,” he answers. “Yeah, we’re by the cotton candy under the ferris wheel... Cool.”

He ends the call and I get a weird feeling in my stomach. My suspicions are confirmed when a certain boy makes his way to us through the crowd. When he reaches us, he greets everyone but me.

Understandable, but it still hurts. We all split up again to grab food before reconvening at a table in the centre of the grounds. I munch on my corn dog (pogo if you will), as the others engage in separate conversations.

Ariel offers a bite of her funnel cake, which I gratefully accept.

“Why haven’t you talked to him?” she asks in a hushed voice.

I play with my food absentmindedly. “He didn’t even say hi to me.”

“You didn’t expect him to still be falling at your feet, did you?”

Yes.

Instead, I answer, “No. It’s fine though, I’m having fun.”

She smiles and feeds me a strawberry from her plate. “Me too.”

“You and Justin really are a good fit, you know,” I grin at her. “I’m really happy for you.”

Ariel looks over her shoulder lovingly. “I’m really happy too, and it means the world to me that you’re so supportive.”

“You’re my sister, I love seeing you glow like this,” I assure her.

She plants a kiss on my check and I pull out my phone to take a picture.

When I finish my food, I join in on the conversation about what to do next. “What about the mirror maze?” I suggest.

Everyone agrees but Christian, who still seems to be ignoring my existence.

Fine by me.

We walk across a patch of grass to get to the maze. There’s a bit of a line, but it moves fast. At the front, we pay and all enter together.

The building is dark, with mirrors all around us, and I’m reminded of that scene from the movie Us. I push these thoughts to the back of my mind as Adrian and Christian lead us.

To our left, there’s a mirror that makes us look short and stubby, while on the other side, we look long and stretched out. We continue on to one that makes our heads look huge and the sight of Christian forces me to stifle a laugh.

“Hey, we look like Maya in this one,” Adrian comments.

Christian doesn’t even hide his smirk as I yell, “My head is not that big!” As we pass a mirror that makes our feet three times longer, I do a goofy walk and sing, “Look, I’m Adrian.”

“You know what they say,” he turns to me, “Big feet, big -”

“Don’t wanna hear it!” Ariel and I cut him off in unison.

“They don’t want to see you succeed,” Eli shakes his head as he pats Adrian’s shoulder.

The next corner we turn leads to a dead end, but we take this opportunity to all pose for a group photo. I can’t help but look at Christian through the reflection. Under his eyes are a bit dark, as if he hasn’t been sleeping much either.

I want to ask him about it, but I realize it’s not my place anymore. When I look down to my phone, I can’t help but smile at all of our happy faces. My smile drops as soon as Ariel shows me the picture she took. At first glance it appears normal, but upon further inspection, you can clearly see where my eyes are pointing.

“It must be the mirror,” I state. She gives me a knowing look and I stare blankly back at her. “Delete it.”

We run into several more deadends and goofy mirrors before finally making it to the exit.

“Let’s go on the ferris wheel!” Ariel begs Justin. He groans but ultimately ends up agreeing.

He shares a look with Eli before leaving. The latter turns to Adrian and says, “Help me find a bathroom.”

“You’re going to end up having to use a portapotty, you do realize this, right?” says Adrian.

Eli’s face scrunches up in disgust, but the two are off before I can say anything.

My body instantly tenses up and I begin to walk towards a bench. To my surprise, Christian follows along. Despite the noise of the carnival, the silence between us is suffocating as well as embarrassing.

I cough, trying to relieve some of the tension. “You look tired.”

“So do you,” he replies flatly.

“Do I?” I ask, for lack of better conversation carriers.

In a bored tone, he replies, “Mhm.”

“Why did you come tonight?” I blurt out.

Without even sparing me a glance, he responds, “I told you that we have mutual friends. This sort of thing is inevitable.”

“Well, are you having fun?”

Finally, he looks at me with cold grey eyes. “Cut the small talk. When I needed to talk to you, you weren’t there.”

“I-”

“No,” he turns his head back to the bustle of people in front of us. “In the time I’ve known you, whenever you needed me, I was there. Now that I have stuff on my mind, you’re nowhere to be seen. I thought we were becoming friends, now after one little almost-moment, you’ve gone running. You slept in my bed, for God’s sake.”

An extreme amount of guilt begins to crush my bones. “Christian, I’m so sorry. Tell me what’s been going on with you, I know what it’s like holding everything in.”

“That’s exactly the problem, Amaya,” he says my name harshly. “You know what that’s like and you still chose to ignore me for two weeks.”

“I thought by needing to talk you meant about us,” I admit sheepishly.

He stands up, his full height now towering over me. “Not everything revolves around you!”

With that, he storms off, and that’s the last time I see him tonight.

____

A/N:

Okay, I enjoyed writing this chapter way more than I should have loooool hope you did too!