Chapter 5

"When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable." Jess. C. Scott, The Intern

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Chapter Five

Mary Smith had always led a simple life. She had never been one to reply upon others. She was a nurse. Others were supposed to rely upon her.

Mary enjoyed the dependence of others. She enjoyed feeling useful. There was something satisfying in being the barrier between the doctor and the patient. More often than not, she was the most trusted person in the hospital room in the eyes of the patient.

Mary had found this utter pleasure in caring for blind patients. Their complete dependence on her was so fulfilling. They trusted her more than any other person. They needed her to survive. She essentially re-taught them how to live.

And then they would leave her.

The part that always broke her heart was when they went home to their wives or their children. They did not need her anymore.

That was why Captain Cassidy was different. He was special to her. He was very special.

At first, their interaction had been like any other patient. He was a poor man learning that he was blind. Mary had been there to support countless patients in his position before.

But Captain Cassidy's helplessness combined with macho determination and stubbornness had completely won her over. He needed her, but he was still a man about it. That combination was irresistible to Mary.

She and Captain Cassidy had bonded throughout his recuperation in London. Mary helped him learn how to cope with his new condition and she blocked out the countless hours he spent talking about his wife and son.

That was the one downside in Captain Cassidy. He was married, and happily, it seemed. Captain Cassidy wanted to better himself, he wanted to be as normal as possible, so that this Isabella would still love him the same way.

Mary did not know how to tell him that she could love him the way he was if Isabella could not. So she showed him in the only way she knew how. She nursed him tirelessly, and she fell in love with him effortlessly.

Mary had honestly thought that Captain Cassidy had started to love her too. He had asked her to return to Somerset with him as his private nurse. He had been away for such a long time that Mary was certain that perhaps his wife would have grown indifferent to him.

But it seemed not. Mary would never forget stepping out of the carriage and seeing Isabella for the first time. She knew immediately which of the women Mrs Cassidy was. She was the woman holding the little boy that looked just like his father.

It hurt Mary's heart to see the expression on Isabella's face. She looked so concerned, but it was evident that she still loved him.

How could she ever compete with such a woman? Isabella was beautiful. It was very obvious why Captain Cassidy had fallen in love with her. She looked exactly like every other rich, blonde debutante that Mary had seen traipsing through London.

But Captain Cassidy was different now. Mary could imagine what he was like exactly before his injury. He would have been the suave type of man to attract a woman like Isabella.

But he was different now. He needed someone different; someone who could understand his pain. He just did not know it yet.

But still, Mary found herself standing before the nursery door, willing herself to knock so that she could invite the wife of the man she loved to visit with him so that they could mend their bridges.

Just as she was about to knock, she heard Isabella start to talk. Curiously, Mary pressed her ear to the door.

"Let me button your cardigan, Jamie," she said, sniffing. "It is getting cold outside and we do not want you falling ill before Christmas."

Jamie. Mary smiled, thinking of the boy. It did not hurt her to hear Captain Cassidy speak of his son. It was heart-warming to listen to the love and devotion he had for his son, even though they had never met.

"Are you sad, Mama?" Jamie asked. His voice was soft, sweet, and childlike. It made Mary smile. What would it be like for a child to call her Mama?

But Jamie's question frustrated her. It was clear that Isabella wanted to care for Captain Cassidy. Mary had already put her off once. What was she to do to deter her for that little bit longer? She could not exactly ignore Captain Cassidy's request.

Mary detested lying to him. She only lied when she had to. It was for his own good anyway.

"Of course not," Isabella told her son. It was obvious that she was lying. "What have you got there?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Papa," replied Jamie, his tone very proud.

Papa? Mary had assume that it was a toy of some kind that he had named after his father. Mary wondered if it was one of the many tin soldiers that she had found strewn across the Captain's bedroom.

"Jamie, do you remember what I have told you about Papa?" Isabella asked softly.

Mary's heart stopped when she asked this question.

"Papa is a hero in the war!" he recalled excitedly, slurring his 'r' sound a little.

Mary decided that this was a good answer. Perhaps Isabella would reject Captain Cassidy when she realised the reality of his situation. She had married a hero. Could prissy, pretty, young Isabella handle such a change? Mary certainly could.

"Yes," Isabella confirmed. "Papa is a hero. But Papa hurt himself. He injured his eyes. He cannot see anything anymore. This is what Papa sees," she explained.

Mary could only assume that Isabella was covering Jamie's eyes so that he might understand.

"Do you remember the man that was being helped out of the carriage?" she asked him.

Mary felt very sad in that moment that Jamie had not known who his father was the first time that he had seen him.

"He is your Papa. He has come home." Isabella made an effort to sound excited, but it was obvious that she was experiencing other emotions, negative ones. What Mary would give to know what they were so she could relay them to Captain Cassidy, inform him subtly that his wife was unsure about him. How else could he see that Isabella was no longer the woman for him?

"Papa is here to see me?" Jamie asked excitedly.

He certainly is, Jamie, Mary thought, just as a brilliant idea popped into her mind.

"All in good time, my darling," Isabella replied.

Mary would invite Isabella to visit with Captain Cassidy, but she would arrange it so that they would not be reconciling.

At that moment, Mary heard the servants' staircase door opening. She immediately panicked and darted across the hallway and concealed herself behind the heavy, red drapes that hung at the windows. Her heart was pounding as a maid walked swiftly down the hallway and knocked on the nursery door, just as Mary had been about to. Mary peeked around the curtains so that she could see.

"Come in!" called Isabella.

The maid opened the door, and Mary could see Isabella standing in the middle of the room with Jamie on her hip. The sweet boy looked so cute, and much to her chagrin, Isabella looked especially beautiful. Mary supposed the rich had access to taboo things like cosmetics. Nobody could be that naturally beautiful.

"You rang, Mrs Cassidy? Can I help you with something?" asked the maid.

"Yes, Anne," replied Isabella, smiling. "Would you mind sitting with Jamie for a few minutes while I go and speak to my sister? It will not take long, I promise."

Anne nodded. "Of course, Mrs Cassidy." She held her hands out and Isabella passed the maid the toddler.

"Thank you," Isabella said gratefully. She kissed her son on the top of his head and then walked out of the nursery and headed towards the landing. The sound of her fancy silk gown swishing about her ankles followed her as she walked.

Another idea popped into Mary's mind, even better than the last. She immediately hurried out from behind the curtain and walked up to the maid. Anne had not seen Mary approach as her back was towards the door.

Jamie noticed Mary first. He peered at her curiously with his father's eyes. The colour was startlingly identical to Captain Cassidy's. The blond of his hair was more his mother's but Mary could forgive that. He was a sweet child.

"Pardon me," Mary said, clearing her throat.

The maid immediately turned around. She was very young, barely a teenager it looked like. She would be very easy to persuade. "Oh, hello, Nurse Mary, is it not?"

Mary smiled, barely. "My employer, Captain Cassidy, instructed me to collect his son for a visit," she said coolly and confidently. Mary then held her hands out.

Jamie cocked his head. He was clearly confused, but all would be clear soon.

Anne furrowed her eyebrows. "But Mrs Cassidy said she would only be a few minutes," she said reluctantly.

Mary arched an eyebrow in an attempt to appear intimidating. "Are you refusing Captain Cassidy's wishes? He wants to see his son, or shall I instead have him discuss your employment in his household?" Mary knew she was getting carried away but she so wanted this plan to work.

Anne nodded and immediately handed Jamie to Mary. "Of course."

Jamie was heavier than Mary had expected, but nevertheless she sat him on her hip and walked up the hallway to Captain Cassidy's bedroom.

"Where are we going?" Jamie asked her, stumbling on his 'r' sound again. "Who are you?"

Mary smiled comfortingly down at Jamie. "We are going to go and see your Papa."

Jamie immediately beamed, flashing Mary a big, baby toothed smile. "Papa!" he cried excitedly.

"Yes," Mary chuckled, smiling.

Mary wanted Captain Cassidy to spend time with his son. It would greatly cheer him up and that was a big priority for her. But she could not deny the small, spiteful part of her that wanted to alienate Isabella from this moment. Captain Cassidy needed only two things in his life. His son, and her.

When she came to the bedroom door, she pushed it open, and spied Captain Cassidy sitting on the settee. He heard the door open and he immediately lifted his head.

"Papa!" Jamie cheered. He pulled away from Mary and was reaching for Captain Cassidy. Mary obliged him, and put the small boy on the ground.

Like a little firecracker, Jamie ran straight over to his father and leapt onto the settee next to him.

Captain Cassidy had completely frozen. His jaw was open and tense and his fists were clenched. He looked as though he were about to hyperventilate.

Jamie, with no regard for hurting his father, stood up on Captain Cassidy's thighs and placed his hands on his cheeks. He edged his little fingers closer to Captain Cassidy's eyes.

Mary could see Captain Cassidy's lower lip trembling. Oh, good Lord, he was going to cry.

"Are you my Papa?" Jamie asked in his soft, childlike voice, just to be sure.

It took Captain Cassidy a moment to reply. He looked so overwhelmed with emotion. His hands slowly rose to the small boy in front of him. One hand rested on Jamie's chest while the other found its way to Jamie's cheek. It was as if he instinctually knew where his son was. "Are you Jamie?" he managed to say after a long pause.

Jamie grinned and nodded. "Yes."

A sound escaped from Captain Cassidy. It was a mixture of a laugh and a sob. "Then yes," he gasped, "I am your father."

Jamie could not reply as Captain Cassidy pulled him into such a hug. The toddler was all but suffocating in his father's arms when a panting Isabella burst through the door.

She looked panicked, and Mary immediately felt Isabella's furious eyes on her.

"Jamie!" she panted.

Jamie immediately looked up at his mother and Captain Cassidy turned towards the sound of his wife's voice.

Isabella looked confused, panicked, angry, and hurt. "What is going on in here?" Isabella demanded to know.

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Thank you all so much for your patience these last few weeks! It was really nice to take a break over the holidays and chill with my family (but also work crazy hours #twelvehourshifts #retail :P)

I feel like I'm that sexy voice narrator on Jane the Virgin right now as I catch you guys up on my life (because you guys all hang around for my lame life story author's notes hehe).

Okay, so Christmas. Ate WAY too much. First Christmas without a BBQ so that was different :( But mum is buying a new one soon! Santa brought me a new straightener, a steak knives set, serving platters, dish brushes (because Santa wants me to be prepared when I eventually move out, btw Santa, what makes you think I would EVER move into a house without a dishwasher. I would literally live off paper plates in that situation).

Boxing Day. Hit the sales early. Sales were crap. Only bought one pair of shoes :( Then worked the crazy sales. Didn't get to watch the Boxing Day cricket as I always do because I was working *crying on the inside*.

Day after Boxing Day. Took my brothers to the airport because they were going to Sydney for a few days. I wasn't allowed any time off from work so I couldn't go (but Dad is flying me up in the first quarter so I will be instagramming you pics!). So had 2 days girl time with mama. Went to maccas and had Create Your Taste for the first time ever. Realised I hate egg, bacon, beetroot and pineapple and everything else you put on burgers so I essentially made a quarter pounder that cost $4 more lol.

THEN WE SAW STAR WARS. FREAKIN' AWESOME. SAW IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. STILL AWESOME. THEN WENT HOME AND BINGE WATCHED THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY BECAUSE I HAVE TO WAIT A YEAR AND A HALF FOR THE NEXT MOVIE. I HAVE NEVER HAD TO WAIT FOR STAR WARS BEFORE. WHAT IS THIS AGONY?

New Years. Did absolutely nothing for the first time in years. I stayed home and watched the fireworks. Went to bed at a reasonable hour. Didn't wake up with a hangover so that was new. Then worked. The shopping centre was dead because everyone else had hangovers :P But my plans are already in place for next year. My best friend and I are watching Frozen and doing a shot every time someone says "Sven" or "Olaf". I don't know why but this is our thing.

My best friend is planning her 21st and I have to write a speech. I am amalgamating my embarrassing stories.  When we were planning our trip to the Gold Coast for schoolies when we finished Year 12 she said to me in a panicked voice "OH MY GOD, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A PASSPORT, I DON'T HAVE ONE, HOW CAN I GO TO QUEENSLAND?" Safe to say I nearly died laughing. Then she asked me in a serious voice "How do I change my money into Queensland money?"

I also got accepted into my Master's Degree, so that was awesome :D

Which brings us to today. Went shopping. Bought a French manicure said. Gave myself said manicure. Stared at my nails the entire time I was typing this chapter.

But I've had my break over the holidays. New chapter coming on Thursday lovelies!!

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday break! Keep cool if your suffering through summer right now and throw on a jumper you lucky ducks who are experiencing winter right now. Can you tell I'm a winter baby? I'm happiest on August 2. Middle of winter, and it's my birthday :P

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