Chapter Twenty-Six: Second Time Around

"Wait, wait, wait," Jameela says. "You're with Ben now?"

I dip my head shyly. It's Monday morning, and I just told Jameela that I was at the museum with Ben yesterday because I know she loves dinosaurs too. Maybe not as much as she loves Jonathan Bailey, but it's close. "Yeah."

"How did that happen?"

I think back to Friday night, which feels like a million years ago now. "Jack didn't show for our date."

"What? Again?"

"He called this time, but he gave me these tickets to a show we were supposed to go to, and then when I went it was Ben's show."

"Ben's in a band?"

"No, he manages them."

"Oh, cool. Not as cool as being in the band, but you know, still cool."

"Right. Anyway, he was there, I was there, one thing led to another and ..."

Her eyes are big. "You went home with him?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. I'm impressed."

"You are?"

She raises a shoulder. She's wearing a top in a shade of orange that I know is her favorite "Kate color." It looks great on her and brings some needed light into this dreary office. "Wouldn't a thought you had it in you, to be honest."

"Had what in her?" Addison says, arriving with her bike helmet in hand. Her hair is wet from the rain outside, the droplets clinging to her braids, but the rest of her is dry. She has this awesome rain outfit she wears on her bike on rain days.

"She slept with Ben," Jameela says.

"Ben? Not Jack?"

"Yeah, I—"

Jameela smiles wide. "It was super romantic. They met at a concert. Like it was fate."

Addison scowls. "Cheating is not romantic."

That's a punch to the stomach. But before I can defend myself, Jameela interjects.

"She didn't cheat on Jack. They were barely dating."

"Uh-huh, you think Jack agrees with that?"

"It's not up to him."

Addison puts her bike helmet down on her desk. "Oh, come on. This is just like that couple in that show you're obsessed with."

Uh-oh.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kate and what's his name. He was engaged to her sister, right? And they kissed or some shit in the wedding chapel?"

"They'd broken up."

"Please. I watched that shit. He was simping for her from the get. And that scene in the library? And all that nose-bumping and almost kissing, and you're the object of all my desires? They were cheating."

Jameela's face is bright red, which clashes with the orange of her top. "You're one of them, aren't you? All this time, and I never knew it."

"One of who?"

"A Polin!"

Addison sits in her chair. "I don't even know what that means."

"Guys?" I put up my hands. "Maybe we should change the topic?"

Addison looks at me. "Back to your cheating?"

"It wasn't ... I'm not proud of it, okay, but I broke things off with Jack. And we'd never even kissed. I don't think it was cheating. But it wasn't my finest moment for sure."

"So, you're dating him now?" Addison says.

"Yes."

"What about all that shit with his mom? And doesn't he have some ex hanging around?"

Had I told her that? I spent so much time thinking about Ben for the last couple of months that I don't remember how much of it ended up out loud.

"We talked about that."

"And?"

"And things are over." I flash back to Rachel in Ben's apartment. How quickly she'd come to see him when he said he wanted to talk. How they'd been together forever. How am I supposed to compete with that.

"That's what men always say."

"Ben's not like that."

"How do you know? You barely know him."

"I believe him. He has no reason to lie."

"Sure. What did he say exactly?"

I'm feeling shaky, the doubts I'd quashed during our great day yesterday with Tyler and then over dinner and bed resurfacing. "Why are you cross-examining me?"

Addison shakes her hair out. Water flies through the air, catching the overlight light. "Because when I see something I say something."

"And what are you seeing?"

"A girl wrapped up in a fantasy." She picks up a book from her desk and flashes the cover at me. It's called Splintered Heart. "You think you're a character in one of these books. Like I bet you think it was the universe that brought you back together with him, right? Like all the shit that happened before was just bad timing and now the timing's right."

This is a shockingly accurate portrayal of what I've been thinking. "So?"

"It's all bullshit. That's not how relationships work."

"How do you know?"

This is kind of a mean thing to say because Addison hasn't had a boyfriend or girlfriend or any kind of romantic friend since I've known her. Not that she's told us, anyway.

"Because I live in the real world," Addison says, and points to Jameela, who's been silent since their last exchange. "Not some fantasy about what love is supposed to be like because it was on a TV show, which FYI, is not that good."

"That is such a crock of shit," Jameela says. She's seething now, a level of anger I've only seen from her when people online were saying racist things about Kate.

"Sorry if my truth bomb upset you, or whatever."

"That's not it."

"What, then?"

"Come on, you're really going to play that way?"

"What way?"

"I know, Addison. I know all about you."

Addison doesn't look concerned in the least. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't hate romance, you write it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Romance4Ever, that's you, right? On Wattpad?"

"What did you say?" Addison's voice has gone hoarse, like she's been partying all weekend.

"I saw you. I saw you writing in there. We both did."

Addison stares daggers at me. I raise my hands up like I've been ordered to by the police. "Don't look at me."

"I see the way it is," Jameela says, pouting. "I'm on my own."

I feel bad, like I abandoned her. But she's been keeping this from me. "I was curious, sure. We talked about it."

"You tried to break into her computer!"

"I mean, not really?"

Addison slams her hand down on the desk. "What. The. Fuck?"

"You're just so secretive," I say. "We wanted to support you."

"Sure, right. So how did you figure it out, Jameela? You learn my password or something?"

"I don't have to tell you anything!"

Addison stands, picking up her bike helmet. "I think I'm taking a sick day."

"Addison," I say. "Wait."

"For what?"

"Let's ... let's talk this out. We've all said things we regret. But we're friends."

"Friends don't spy on one another."

"I know, you're right. They don't. And I'm sorry if I contributed anything to it. I'm sure Jameela is sorry, too. Right, Jameela?"

Jameela's arms are crossed over her chest. "I have nothing to be sorry for."

"And I'm out."

Tabitha pokes her head out of her office. "What's going on here?"

"I'm not feeling well. I'm going home," Addison says.

"All right." She looks at me and Jameela. "Anything else?"

"No," I say.

Tabitha looks at Addison like she wants to ask her something more, but instead, she turns to me. "I need some editorial content for the website."

"See you later," Addison says.

"Feel better," I call after her. "What did you need?"

"I need a list of unused rom-com titles."

"What do you mean?"

"We've had three books submitted again this month with the same title. I want you to write a list of titles that haven't been used before. Maybe it will inspire some editors to do better."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

She taps the side of her head. "Use your imagination."

"Um, okay. For when?"

"EOD?"

End of day? Is she kidding me?

"I have those book selections to write up also, could we say the end of the week?"

Tabitha taps the side of her face. "Yes, all right."

"Thanks."

"You sure everything is okay here?"

"Absolutely."

She looks after where Addison walked to the elevator. "She's sick?"

"Yes, of course. She said so right after she came in."

"I don't want personnel issues."

"Understood, Tabitha. We're all friends, here."

Tabitha nods and returns to her office.

I slump back in my chair. "What a shitshow."

"I blame you," Jameela says. "Because of Ben. And denying all that Wattpad shit. What the hell?"

"Okay, that's fair. I'm sorry she was so mean about Bridgerton."

"It's fine, I'm used to it."

"You really found her Wattpad profile?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

Jameela sighs. "Not by spying on her. I was on there scrolling the other night, and the story was just there."

"What story?"

"It's called The Wrong Man Showed Up."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah."

"It's about me?"

"I mean, some of the details are changed, but yeah, basically."

"Holy shit." My heart is racing. "Is this why you didn't tell me?"

"I was trying to figure out how to do it properly."

"Jesus."

"What are you going to do?"

"Read it, I guess?"

She shakes her head slowly. "I wouldn't."

###

The rest of the morning is a weird panicky time where I try to think of the book titles that Tabitha wants while using every last piece of willpower I have to avoid going to Wattpad immediately and tracking this story down.

She's writing about me. She's writing about me. Why the hell is she writing about me?

But I can't read this at work. There's been enough drama today. So instead, and in desperation, I turn to an online title generator that churns out the worst titles I've ever heard. Then it occurs to me that this might be cheating—there's that word again—and I close the browser and take out a piece of paper to try to write some potential titles down.

It would help if I knew the setting/topic of these theoretical books that Tabitha wants to title, but here goes nothing.

Not Another Love Story

Don't Go Falling in Love

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

Been Down This Road Before

Gah. Why are all my titles about how love is a bad idea?

My phone beeps. It's Kit.

Are the invitations out?

Tonight I promise.

But the venue is locked down.

Yes.

You sure Ben is okay with it?

I asked him a million times.

Maybe one more?

There will be a party, don't worry.

Right. Sure. It's only my engagement party. What's to worry about?

It's not like it's the wedding or anything.

Just wait till you see how crazy I am then.

I'm not ready.

Ha ha.

I'll ask him now.

She sends me a praying hands emoji and I go looking for a text thread with Ben and realize that we've never texted one another. That's so odd. I mean, not that odd given the whole way that we met, but given that we've slept together a few times (no one's business how many times at this point), it's odd.

I feel a beat of panic and then I remember. He gave me his number on Friday night. All romantic and outside and kissing. He put his digits in my phone personally.

I call up the contact and start a text.

Hey, it's Chloe!

He answers immediately. Hi, Chloe.

Kit's freaking a bit about that invitation so I'm checking with you one last time to make sure it's okay to have the shindig at your place?

I'm happy to have you at my place ... I like a forward girl.

Ha-ha. Is this your way of backing out of having Kit's thing at your venue?

I would never "back out" of anything. I prefer the back way in if you know what I mean.

Um, what?

Ahem. Not into that FYI.

Your loss.

What is going on? Something's off.

Everything okay?

Just a little disappointed over here that my new friend Chloe isn't going to let me in the backdoor.

My hands start to shake, and I have a pit in my stomach.

Oh, shit. Oh, no.

Ben?

Who's Ben?

I drop my phone. OMG. Who did I just text? What is happening??

I pick it up slowly and check that I wasn't texting Kit and she's not fucking with me.

But no. It's the number I had for Ben.

Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, it's not funny.

I'd like to fuck you but I'm not into threesomes so leave Ben at home.

Shit, shit, shit. Not Ben. Definitely not Ben.

I block the asshole I'm texting with and hope he didn't screenshot my number.

I put my phone down slowly, then lean back in my seat slowly. It feels like my world is slowly unraveling, all the happiness I brought with me this morning evaporating like the rain outside will when the sun comes out later.

Because: I don't have Ben's number.

Which means I have no way of getting in touch with him.

This can't be happening.

Again.