-11- fear & love

Atmiz'view

Remorseful, yes

Scared, of course

Stressed, anxious, as fuck.

But I won't take a step back, not anymore.

I didn't even need to open the front door , Julie,the headmaid already opened them as soon i stepped in front of them.

" Good afternoon, Ms. Atmiz" she politely greeted.

" Hello, Julie" " Madame is waiting for you at her office, she told me to inform you as soon as you came."

I nodded and thanked before walking towards the elevator.

My heart was beating a mess.

I leaned my body against the cold doors, taking a deep breath and trying to relax. Until the doors open, I closed my eyes, tightening my grips on the strap of my Birkin.

I feel so fucking bad

I took some steps further in the room, before our eyes locked together and I swear I felt my heart tightened in my chest, even more than earlier.

I honestly don't have a clue of what to say or not, because it's my first relationship after so long, and also because it's a good relationship.

But Mychelda doesn't know that.

" I knew you would come, but I don't know why" she suddenly said after the silence.

I stayed awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.

" My intentions weren't to my you mad, cara" i instinctively said.

" Oh " she gasped, she took the whisky glass in the desk in front of her.

Slowly sipping in it.

And taking every inch of my face before glancing away over my body, raising a brow.

" Are you suddenly not comfortable anymore, you may take a sit"

I cleared my throat and stepped towards her desk, sitting down a chair.

" I don't have to lie to me, Zie " she paused herself for a moment " I just don't understand why you don't want to take a step in our relationship"

" I-" I tried, but I didn't know what to say.

And it made me look like she was right.

" It's not the first time you cancel our plans, staying silent and sometimes avoiding me - I know you have communication issues, but I feel it's only with me. Like you don't want to open up to me"

She stares but I lowered my head.

" I'm sorry, I just.....I just can't right now" I mumbled

" I understand this and I gave time, but you still can't" she took a deep breath " talk to me, Atmiz"

" I need more time" I said

" Or maybe we should take a break, maybe this is too much for you"she suggested, standing from her chair.

" Wait no we don't have to-you can't leave me"I rushed up, I stood up and followed her in the room.

" But you don't -"she stopped and signed.

" I don't what? " I whispered, behind her , my voice was weak " everything was good"

" No Atmiz, don't lie , everything started to change two weeks ago,but I closed my eyes and ignored them and I really regret this , I should talk to you , i should make you more comfortable and now " she turned herself, now facing me

" And now it just don't work "she took both of my arms, deeply staring me.

" I don't want you to leave me.. please don't leave me Mychelda" my voice was weak and I felt miserable and guilty.

I felt lost.

Again

I felt tears rolling on my cheeks as I pushed her away.

" Okay"I whispered

Mychelda walked closer to me grad my chin.

and kissed me.

I felt more tears on my face when I realized it was a last-kiss.

" We don't have to avoid each other, just.....you can always call me for everything , I'm and always be there for you, Atmiz. Always" She whispered as we pressed our foreheads.

So why are you leaving me? I wanted to asked but I remained silent.

Again

Eventually I had to go home, and Mychelda drove me to my car.

I absently driving to my house, holding all of my feelings.

I rushed toward my bathroom, striped as quickly I could and as soon i felt the cold water on my body.I let everything go, everything, I cried, I cried all the fucking night till I feel asleep, naked, on my bed.

.........................................................★..........★............★.........................................................

I woke up at 3 am, cold

The first thing that crossed my mind was her.

Deep inside , I knew , I couldn't be happy, I didn't deserve her.

She was too perfect and I am too broken, despite the appearance.

Flash back

Three weeks ago

"You look beautiful" she whispered in my ear.

" Come on show me your suprise" I almost rolled my eyes.

" Okay baby" she softly took my hands, guiding us upstairs

" Today you'll finally know what happened the night we met "

I hugely smiled

" But talk only if necessary " she instructed and I nooded

" Okay........ so you were drunk and I was directly driving you there" she took me by my waist and sat me on the edge of the king sized beg.

" But you were so drunk that you couldn't hold yourself" she put her hand on my shoulder and slowly pushed me to lean on the bed." You were giggling crazy and seriously eyefucking me " she said muttered as I blushed

" But I didn't want to let you fall asleep like this so I tried to convince you to take a bath, but you keep saying no , then while you were in your childish mood I tried to convince you with wine, which worked"

I raised my brow " really?" " Yes , and while I was in the walk-in closet, searching for something for you to wear, you obediently stood behind me " she took my hand again and we went to her walk-in closet , I stood in the center of the room and Mychelda leaned on the wall in front of me.

" And when I finally turned, you were there, staring at me, hardly"

" And then after what seemed hours you took a step towards me" she slowly switched our position, so now I was leaning on the wall.

" you walked towards me until your body pressed against mine" she did exactly what she quoted, pressing herself on me.

" But Atmiz, you were so drunk and so hot, you looked like the most appealing sin of my life, I don't even know how I didn't take you right there, in my closet" she said in a low and raspy voice

" Then we should continue what I began earlier, I'm sure 'Teacher Desora' doesn't like unachieved work "

" I don't want to begin with a punishment for my favorite student."

" Good luck, I'm not an easy one " I said against her neck, making her shiver.

" Oh yeah " she replied in a nasty tone, her hands gently slapping my ass before squeezing them.

" I want to make you talk french" I lowly said and before she could reply I pressed my lips on hers.

We stayed like this, well until she tilted her head for deepening the kiss, when our thongs met , I'm sure everything around was supposed to be wet cause of all the sloppy sounds echoing in the room.

But we got to pull away, trying to catch our breath and staring at each other with lust.

Safe to say : this night was amazing.

A/n

Hey baby, seriously.

Tell me what you think of

this chapter?

Delicious, isn't it?

<3 <3

-endless-kiss✿♡♡