15 - To have him for myself

Without looking back, I left Nagi to go shopping at the convenience store. At first, I wanted to invite him and ask about his favorite food.

But all my good intentions were instantly extinguished when I saw him watching something "inappropriate."

"Hey...!" That was Nagi's last desperate shout, before his voice gradually faded away as I walked further from his room.

I wanted to cook him something. Oh well. Besides, I'm not very good at cooking anyway.

I stared seriously at the various types of ingredients in the store, trying to decide what dish I should make this morning. Even so, my attention was occasionally distracted by the display of onigiri and ramen there.

I then slapped my own cheek as my awareness returned. "Wake up, Yuichi! Are you really going to eat that every day?"

I know eating ramen every day isn't healthy.

But- I found myself getting even more confused as I looked at the different types of cooking ingredients. What should I make...?

I guess I'll just make miso soup. The recipe is easy, and it doesn't take long to cook either.

For a newbie like me, that's good enough.

I picked up some instant miso paste and gathered other cooking ingredients like vegetables and tofu. Then I headed to the cashier to pay after I felt I had enough.

***

Making miso soup should be easy, I bet even someone like me who just started cooking could make it without watching any tutorials.

Still, I watched a tutorial video on YouTube just in case. If I made even a slight mistake, it could end up tasting bad; I didn't want to spend my money on it again...

Eh!?

Without realizing it, thirty minutes had passed as I blankly watched the tutorial video, which I wasn't even focused on.

The rumbling from my stomach snapped me back to reality...

A few minutes later.

AH...!! I'm so stupid...!

I was so fixated on the quantity of ingredients mentioned in the video, that I didn't notice the video creator was cooking miso soup for a family, and not just a single person.

Great, now where am I supposed to store the leftovers?

I sighed at my own foolishness. No matter what, it had already happened. I couldn't keep complaining.

I then put some bowls of soup in the fridge to eat later for lunch and dinner, while I planned to give the leftover soup to Nagi.

Knock-knock!

This time I set aside a little time to knock on Nagi's door, having learned from my previous mistake. I didn't want to catch him watching something weird again.

As soon as he heard the knock, Nagi opened his door.

"Yuichi?"

"Nagi, are you done?"

Nagi's face instantly turned red upon hearing my question; he seemed to understand what I meant. "Huh!? Done with what?!"

"Forget it."

"Oh right, Nagi. You haven't had breakfast yet, have you? Here, I brought you some food," I said as I handed him a bowl of soup.

"Seriously?" Nagi squinted his eyes at me, looking doubtful.

I sighed. "Yeah. I made too much, so I'm giving you a little."

"Okay, thanks."

Nagi went back into his room to put the soup on the table.

When I wanted to return to my room to enjoy the soup I had just made, Nagi suddenly grabbed my wrist tightly, stopping me from leaving.

"Wanna eat together?"

***

Fortunately, I didn't mess up the seasoning; the miso soup I made tasted pretty good when paired with rice and vegetables.

As a return for the food I gave him, Nagi made me a glass of hot tea and also shared some rice from his rice cooker.

I watched Nagi for a moment as he devoured his food eagerly.

"Cough-cough!" Just as I predicted, the consequence of eating too quickly...

"Slow down, Nagi..."

"Want me to get you a drink?" I offered, worried.

However, when I stood up to get him some water, he stopped me. "No need. A little choking won't kill me."

"..."

"Okay."

I went back to eating my delayed meal.

At times like this, my mind began to wander. I could only blankly stare while shoveling food into my mouth. Besides, it was rude to strike up a conversation with someone who was eating.

I quietly focused on Nagi's serious face as he chewed his food.

Nagi... I don't want to admit it, but- he's quite handsome.

It has been a while since my gender change, and as each day passes, Nagi becomes more and more attractive in my eyes.

Ever since I became a girl, for some reason, I've been able to see and appreciate all the good sides of Nagi.

Believe it or not, it's something I couldn't do when I was still a boy.

I realized... that Nagi is someone who always prioritizes others over himself. Even I- was once helped by him.

I remembered a moment when we were heading to school and saw an old lady struggling to cross the street. I nudged Nagi's arm gently, signaling him to help her.

Nagi just retorted at my gesture, "What's the point of helping that old lady? Besides, the road is empty; she can probably cross it by herself." Even so, he ended up helping her anyway.

Ah! Or the time when Nagi scolded a stray cat that scratched his hand when he tried to pet that cute animal. "Ow! Damn! Look, it's bleeding. Stupid cat! I swear I won't feed you again."

However, after school... I caught Nagi looking anxious as he kept glancing left and right worriedly. In front of him was the cat he had cursed earlier, now surrounded by cat food.

I found it a funny situation; he said he didn't want to feed the cat again, yet in the end, he betrayed his own words. What a tsundere Nagi, indeed.

...

I suddenly became curious about something.

I paused my meal and turned to Nagi. "Hey, Nagi. Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Nagi replied, his mouth still full of food.

"Swallow it first."

"Okay." Nagi then swallowed the food he was chewing after hearing my request. "So, what do you want to ask?"

"Nagi... Have you ever thought about getting a reward or something every time you do something good?" I asked curiously.

"Why are you suddenly asking about that?"

I shook my head slowly. "It's nothing. Just curious."

"My answer is no. Besides, what's the point? Shouldn't doing good be sincere?"

"But if someone were to give me a reward- well, I wouldn't refuse," Nagi replied with a thin smile on his face. "But if I were to ask or hope for that... Nah, never, " he continued.

"..."

"Seeing people happy because of my help is actually enough for a reward, isn't it?" Nagi said casually. He doesn't realize that his childhood friend has long admired him, just like she does right now.

My intuition was indeed correct. He is the type every girl dreams of.

That's why, since childhood, I've always admired him as a cool and kind boy. But I would never tell him, even if the world turned upside down.

I wondered, with a personality like that, why hasn't a single girl ever fallen for him? Is it because of his looks? Not really. His appearance is average, but he has a pretty athletic build.

It's just that he has one fatal flaw- he's a pervert.

Maybe that's the reason why no girl has ever liked him. Even though Nagi doesn't flaunt his lewdness in public, perhaps girls can sense it just from the aura he gives off?

Well, whatever it is, I'm grateful to have him for myself.

In quotation marks "AS A FRIEND." Of course, without any romantic feelings.

I noticed a grain of rice stuck to Nagi's lips. I quickly grabbed a tissue from the box I just bought.

"Yui-!?" Nagi's expression looked a bit surprised when he saw me cleaning the food residue from his lips.

Nagi's face turned red. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, sighing a few times. "You could've just told me; I could have cleaned it myself..."

I chuckled softly at Nagi's weak protest. He seemed to enjoy my recent action though.

Even though this moment is just a small part of our lives, I don't want it to end.

Yes... Just like the time when I first met you—

TO BE CONTINUED.