17 - Values within a person

The boy then sat comfortably on the swing beside me. It was the first time someone had approached me since the last incident, so I felt a bit awkward...

Nagi Nagi. I used to be close to him in kindergarten, up to a certain point. However, since our classes were separated when we entered elementary school, we rarely talked anymore. Thankfully, he still remembered my name.

But now, why did he suddenly come up to me again?

"Nagi-kun, do you need something...?"

Nagi stared at me with a slightly incredulous expression for a moment. "Do I need a reason to approach an old friend?"

Friend..?

I stole glances at him several times.

Nagi didn't look like a bad person or someone trying to take advantage of me. Even so, I didn't understand why he approached me, knowing he might end up being avoided because of it.

"Nagi-kun. You must know, right, that there's nothing good you can gain from being friends with me?" Since that day, I'd decided not to trust anyone else.

The worthiness of someone as a friend is always judged by their "value."

I'd chosen not to try anymore, so I no longer had any "value." Because of that, people avoided me. But that's okay; after all, it was my own decision.

I'm tired of hoping for others. I just want to spend my time alone.

So please leave, Nagi.

Nagi let out a frustrated sigh. It seemed my attempts to push him away were making him feel uncomfortab- "That's not it," he said curtly. Even though it was only a few words, they managed to erase all my previous negative thoughts.

"I don't care what other people think. If I'm shunned for being near you, so be it. They're not real friends then."

"Aren't friends supposed to support each other during difficult times?" Nagi continued.

Hearing his words made my chest feel tight. I'd understood that's what friendship meant for a long time, but... Did the people I once called "friends" ever think like that?

"I know... But, aren't you afraid of being avoided? I'm an introvert, so... I'm used to being alone."

That's definitely how it is. However, Nagi is someone whose behavior and personality are completely opposite to mine; we live in two different worlds.

If he were to be shunned by his friends because he played with me, I'd feel guilty and probably wouldn't be able to sleep for a night.

"Can I call you Yuichi?" Nagi asked suddenly.

"A-ah..! Y-yes.."

"Yuichi, this isn't about personality. Do you think that an introvert should always be alone?"

"Huh..?"

His words just now were piercing. I'd always been praised as a child with high empathy due to my sensitivity to others' behaviors and thoughts.

But- I couldn't believe I hadn't thought that far.

Nagi chuckled softly when he saw my expression. "Pfft..! So it's true, huh?"

...

"Well, your statement wasn't exactly wrong."

"An introvert does enjoy solitude, but that DOESN'T mean they deserve to always be alone; that's two different things," Nagi continued.

My eyes started to well up, and my vision became blurred with tears. It was the first time I'd heard such comforting words from someone; I thought no one could ever understand me. Turns out, I was wrong.

Ugh...

A boy shouldn't cry... I mustn't...

"Just let it out," Nagi said simply.

"B-but... If I cry..."

Nagi gave a gentle smile. His warm and sincere smile melted my heart. He was the first person who didn't see me just through my "value."

He gently patted my head.

Maybe- my statement that all humans are selfish was wrong.

I wiped my tears with difficulty, my body still trembling. But I wanted to ask him about something I'd believed in all this time. "Nagi-kun... May I ask your opinion?"

"Yes. You can ask anything."

"W-what do you think about a person's worth? If you have worth, you're considered a friend. If you don't, then you're discarded."

"That's stupid," he replied bluntly.

"Eh!?"

"I know someone who had that kind of thinking. Do you know how his life is now? He regrets it for the rest of his life."

Could it be... that the person Nagi was talking about is me?

"That person... My grandfather."

Oh...

"Since my parents were always out of town for work, I was left with my grandfather. He often shared his experiences and life regrets with me."

"Maybe my grandfather was just rambling. Like, maybe he thought a kid my age wouldn't understand his words. But I understood. Very much so," Nagi continued.

I didn't know Nagi had been through all that. So, there was someone with the same mindset as me before?

If his grandfather were still around, I would've liked to ask him so many things.

"Nagi-kun. I'm sorry for asking about that. My condolences for your grandfather's passing..."

"Huh?! What do you mean? He's still alive!"

Eh!?

"He's still healthy, spending his remaining years fishing and trying all kinds of fish," Nagi continued.

"Eh? But... you just said..."

Nagi sighed. "I think you misunderstood. The point is, your thinking about value is completely wrong. It's not that humans don't have value. But everyone has the same value; no one is more or less."

My eyes sparkled as I heard Nagi's words. This was the first time I could discuss such heavy topics with someone my age.

"Then what... What if there's someone like me? Someone completely useless who has no worth. Do I still have value?" I asked nervously. Though I was curious, deep down, I was afraid of facing the "bad answer" I might get from him.

Nagi shook his head gently, while looking at me with a soft smile. "Yeah, but don’t think about it like that. You always had it. Everyone has value and a purpose. That includes you."

"Look, just being human is enough to prove that everyone has worth. Besides, everyone has a past. They've all made truths and mistakes. All of that is valuable. And that's what gives them worth."

"Humans don’t have to do something grand to have value, because they've... carried it with them since birth," Nagi added.

My eyes sparkled even more. I felt a surge of excitement. Nagi could make me see the world from a different perspective.

As someone with high empathy, perhaps only Nagi could truly understand me.

"Amazing..." I murmured softly.

"So don't be too fixated on things like "value", If you keep thinking that way, you'll regret it, just like someone did..." I could vaguely imagine Nagi's grandfather. He wore a military uniform with a fit physique, even in his old age, and a right eye blinded by a gunshot in the war.

Perhaps Nagi inherited this empathy from his grandfather. Honestly, Nagi is also a cool person.

"Nagi-kun... What kind of person is your grandfather?" I asked, curious.

"Eh? He's just a regular old man with a long white beard and a constantly aching back."

Why does his physical description seem so far from what I imagined..?

I softly smiled.

"Thank you so much, Nagi-kun. Your encouragement really calmed me down."

Nagi's face turned red as he waved his hands in denial. "I didn't do anything!"

I chuckled at his shy behavior. "Let's introduce ourselves again from the beginning."

"My name is Ueda Yuichi, nice to meet you. Let's be friends!" I then extended my hand forward, waiting for a handshake from Nagi in response to my offer.

"I'm Nagi Nagi. Nice to meet you..." He shook my hand, a bit shyly. "Of course. Besides, we've been friends for a long time, right?"

I don't know- how my life would be now if it weren't for Nagi comforting me back then.

Come to think of it, Nagi's thinking was very mature compared to other kids our age. I admired him.

Starting from that day, I looked up to Nagi as my idol and role model. Although he was a bit perverted, it was just a small flaw compared to his many strengths. Besides, no single human is perfect-

Right?

TO BE CONTINUED.