24 - I think I like Nagi

"Are you two... Perhaps dating?" Natsu asked, her eyes sparkling.

I flinched slightly when I heard that question.

Typical Natsu... Instead of asking something like, "How did your gender change?" she asks about the relationship between us.

Yes, Nagi and I aren't dating. But for some reason, my mouth felt heavy, and I couldn’t bring myself to say that.

Could it be that deep down, I had some small hope regarding my feelings for Nagi?

I clenched my teeth tightly. My face was starting to heat up. I was so stupid to be blushing over my own thoughts.

I tried to move my lips, but there was no hope. In the end, I just gave Nagi a sharp look, signaling him to answer Natsu’s question for me.

As soon as he caught my gaze, Nagi gave me a thumbs up.

"Natsu-san..."

Come on, Nagi! Explain to her that we have no relationship at all!

Suddenly, Nagi grabbed my hand tightly and, without hesitation, raised my arm. "Yes. Your sister and I... we're dating," he said with a serious expression, not a hint of a lie in his voice.

HUH?

My face turned as red as a ripe apple at his statement, especially with the serious expression he wore while saying it. I completely forgot that the two people standing near me were the same ones who always teased me whenever they had the chance!

I pinched Nagi’s hand hard, but he didn’t show any sign of pain and didn’t budge an inch from where he stood.

ARE YOU SERIOUS, NAGI?!

I screamed with frustration in my mind.

"E-EHHHH?" Natsu shouted, surprised. Her cheeks also turned as red as tomatoes, but the sparkle in her eyes hadn’t faded yet.

"This... This is like a BL manga. My heart isn’t ready to see this," Natsu said, closing her eyes with her hands.

"BL MY ASS! This isn’t BL. Our genders are different now, you know?!" I yelled quickly.

Natsu peeked at me through her fingers. "I-if you say that, then... you’ve accepted that you don’t have... your... and... and...!! You've lost all your masculinity!!!" Natsu screamed, a mix of panic and excitement on her face.

What is this kid talking about? I just feel like want to disappear right now..

***

After giving a valuable lesson to both of them, we finally returned to the original topic of conversation. But thanks to the lesson I gave, the atmosphere between us became awkward. It felt like a Q&A session...

I sighed.

At least, Natsu wouldn’t be asking questions unrelated to my gender change anymore. And Nagi wouldn’t be able to tease me.

I swallowed and then raised my voice, making it louder. "Okay, who wants to ask first?"

Nagi quickly raised his hand. "Me!"

The first question.

"Natsu-san, how did you realize Yuichi’s gender change? Like I explained earlier, only a few can."

"Even your parents couldn’t tell," Nagi added.

Natsu shrugged and then pointed to her own face, clearly expressing the words "I don’t know."

The second question.

After getting an unsatisfactory answer, Nagi decided to ask again. "Natsu-san, since when did you realize?"

"Just now."

The third question.

"Ugh, Natsu-san. Can’t you give a more SATISFYING answer? Can you explain it better?"

"Yes, I can. I’ve learned how to explain things concisely and accurately. If Nagi-san asks me to do that, I’ll be happy to accept," Natsu replied.

"NOT LIKE THAT!"

The fourth question.

"Ugh... My head hurts. Natsu-san... Do you know anything about the Star Wish?"

"Star Wish?" For the first time since this pointless Q&A started, Natsu showed an expression of interest. "Nagi-san, do you mean the legendary Star Wish?"

Nagi’s expression changed immediately upon hearing what Natsu said. "Natsu-san, you know about that legend?"

Natsu nodded quickly several times. "Yes! Nagi-san, you know, I’m a true otaku."

"So I watch a lot of anime related to wishes, because who doesn’t have fantasies about wishes? Everyone has them, and I’m one of them," Natsu continued.

I nervously swallowed, then asked, "So... what’s the connection to you knowing about the legend?"

"Well! Do you know the anime To the Star Beyond?" Natsu asked enthusiastically. Her eyes were sparkling now as she talked about anime.

I exchanged glances with Nagi for a moment before we both nodded.

That’s the popular anime right now, right?

To the Star Beyond. The unique first anime with different main characters in each episode, each episode lasting an hour or more. Though the stories of the main characters are short, the author managed to write each episode with amazing detail.

"Star Wish is the main theme in that show, so if you're talking about the Star Wish from the anime, then I get it," Natsu explained.

Wait... You mean the Star Wish legend from the anime...? I thought it was something else...

But—

I took a moment to think.

Even though this was just some nonsense that come from Natsu, honestly, I was surprised. I’ve never watched that anime, but now I know there’s an author who wrote a story about Star Wishes.

It sounds kind of silly, but we shouldn’t ignore this information.

We don’t have any clues on how to change my gender back, but if there’s something we can use as a reference... Maybe there’s still hope. Who knows, maybe the real Star Wish works the same way as in that anime.

I raised my head slightly and focused my gaze on Natsu. "Hey Natsu. Was there an episode where the main character’s gender changed?" I asked, nervously but seriously.

Natsu nodded quickly. "Of course! The anime has a lot of main characters."

"Then... How does the main character’s gender go back?" I asked again, this time with a more serious tone.

"Well, that’s the most important part—"

I quickly grabbed Natsu’s shoulders and shook her excitedly. "So, what is it?! How do I go back?!"

"You can’t," Natsu said simply, her smile thin but cutting.

W- WHAT?!

"Come on, Natsu! Don’t lie!" I kept shaking her, hoping she had a different answer.

"But that’s the answer!"

"Isn’t there any other answer? Can you give me a satisfying one, Natsu, please?"

"But that’s it!!"

"A-ah! Stop, sis! I’m dizzy!"

"Ah! Sorry." I quickly pulled my hands away and took a deep breath to calm myself.

With her eyes still spinning, Natsu mustered up the courage to ask. "So how exactly did your gender change, sis?"

"Ah... If To the Star Beyond has the theme of the Star Wish, then my situation with Nagi is pretty similar. We wished on a star, and then my gender changed," I explained to Natsu.

"So you wished to become a girl... If that’s your preference, I can’t say anything about it," Natsu answered with a somewhat sad expression.

"Why are you making that sad face? I just wanted a lover! But my gender got changed, isn’t that just... weird?!"

Natsu let out a long sigh, while squinting her eyes at me. "Come on, Sis. Wishing for a lover and changing your gender have nothing to do with each other, you know?"

"I am telling the truth!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure..." Natsu responded, scratching her head with a confused expression. "Besides, it's just an anime. You don’t have to take it so seriously. Even if it seems similar, the miracle that changed your gender could be completely different from how it worked in that story."

Natsu was right, but—

I still wanted to go back.

I wanted to.

I wanted to...

Huh...?

What is it that I really want?

Why do I feel so empty all of a sudden?

What was my reason for wanting to become a guy again? And what was I supposed to do after that?

No—

Thinking about it now...

If I could go back, then maybe... I could finally erase these feelings I have for Nagi.

Yeah... I could go back to living as a man. I could get my body back. I wouldn’t have to worry about my appearance anymore.

And then... And then... Huh? My thoughts hit a dead end. Is that really all there is to it?

Why? Instead of feeling happy, I feel... empty. Just imagining it makes my chest ache...

"Yuichi? Are you okay?" Nagi asked, his voice laced with concern. I must have been making a weird expression without realizing it.

"I-I'm fine..."

Why am I suddenly feeling so sad...?

"Um... Sis." Natsu called out to me, sounding worried. "Sorry if I couldn’t give you a satisfying answe—"

Ping!

A sudden notification sound interrupted the tension in the air.

It seemed to come from Natsu’s phone. "Ah! Sorry, Sis. Mom just texted me to hurry up and get to school."

"Oh... Okay."

Natsu quickly put on her shoes. "I’m heading out now. Sorry for dropping by just for a bit. My school’s pretty far, and I have to ride my bike, so I need to leave early."

"Oh, right! Mom prepared lunch for both of you. Don’t forget to eat it!" Natsu waved excitedly before dashing off.

"Be careful...!"

As I looked at Nagi, my desire to return to being a man started to fade.

Just now, when Natsu asked about our relationship, I hesitated to answer. What is my relationship with Nagi, really?

My face grew warm, and my heartbeat quickened. I absentmindedly twirled a strand of my hair around my finger.

At first, I felt empty, hollow, lost in the dark.

But after turning into a girl and spending time with Nagi—

He felt like a light, filling the darkness in my heart.

I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.

"I think... I like Nagi."

TO BE CONTINUED.