27 - Role that has been predetermined since birth

As time went on, the rain fell harder. The chaotic sound of the drops echoed endlessly in my ears. Yet, it all felt as if it wasn’t even there. My mind was too focused on Akane, making the rain's presence almost meaningless to me.

After a long run, we finally reached the main road, which was quite far from our school.

My legs began to burn from all the running, while my breath started to come in short, heavy gasps.

I didn’t know where Akane was heading to, or knowing why she runs like this without concerning about her own condition. But I couldn’t stop now; I was worried that something bad might happen to her, especially after the conversation with that new student. There was no way I could leave her alone.

A car sped toward us, its rear tires hitting a large puddle. In an instant, a splash of muddy water flew through the air, completely drenching Akane’s uniform.

Akane reflexively closed her eyes to protect her face from the splash, while the car drove on without caring about the person it had left splattered with mud on the sidewalk.

"Uu..." Akane clenched her now-dirty uniform tightly. She looked at the muddy road with a sad expression. Tears began to fall from her eyes. This was the first time I saw Akane’s vulnerable side.

"Akane-san..!"

Thanks to that car, Akane’s attention was distracted, allowing me to catch up with her.

With ragged breaths, I finally managed to approach her, pushing my body’s limits to the max.

I quietly stood in front of Akane, who stood on the sidewalk, her head bowed in an attempt to hide the tears falling from her eyes.

Seeing Akane cry, stirred something inside me. Gently, I placed my hand on her head, stroking her hair softly. I looked at her with a soft smile.

I learned this from Nagi— a pat on the head can calm someone down, especially when they’re dealing with some troubles.

Akane slowly lifted her head. She bit her lip hard, trying to hold back her tears. "Yuichi... san..?"

I let out a small sigh, then tugged her ear gently. "Good thing I caught up with you. Jeez, Akane-san, you always do this, you know? If something’s bothering you, you should tell me. Do you have any idea how frustrated I’ve been, with you suddenly avoiding me for a whole week?" I said with a light laugh.

"Akane-san, we’re friends, right?" I asked nervously.

Akane looked at me with wide eyes, gulped, then turned her face away without answering.

"Eh..? Don’t tell me you misunderstood? No, it’s not like that! We’ve been friends for a long time! I just asked because I was scared… that I might be the only one who thinks of us as friends."

Akane lowered her head again, clutching her skirt tightly. "No, you’re not wrong. Yes, we’re friends."

Without realizing it, a smile spread across my face at her response. "See? We’re friends, right?"

"Like I said earlier, friends are there to lean on when things get tough."

"So, don’t keep it all to yourself anymore. You can tell me what’s wrong, and we’ll find a solution together," I continued.

"I..."

I patted Akane’s shoulder gently, then softly held her wrist. "How about we find some place to talk about? We can talk somewhere warmer."

I tried to guide her away, but she remained frozen in place.

"Akane-san..?" I called her name softly.

"Yuichi-san. I’m sorry. I can’t do it..."

"Huh..?"

Akane slowly pulled her hand away from my grip with her other hand. "You said to tell you everything, and we’d figure it out together. But the problem is… I just can’t."

"Wh-why..?"

"If I keep staying with you, I’ll never be able to let go of my feelings for you... And my arranged marriage with Rion-san will never go smoothly."

Marriage? Akane’s feelings for me? What is she talking about...?

"Did Nagi-kun tell you anything about this?" Akane asked weakly.

"Huh?"

"About my feelings."

Akane’s feelings? As far as I remember, Nagi never mentioned anything like that.

"From the look on your face... I guess not. Maybe you’ll be shocked hearing it directly from me, but—"

But what? Why did Akane suddenly stop talking?

"Yuichi-san..." Akane took a deep breath, her voice almost drowned by the rain’s intensity. Her face, especially her cheeks, began to turn red. "I’ve actually always loved you, ever since we first met."

I stood there in silence, trying to process every word she’d said. It felt like a heavy weight had suddenly pressed down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

"The warmth and kindness you showed me back then made me forget how bad my situation was. I appreciate it. But I don’t want to get too carried away because I have a role to fulfill."

I bit my lip, struggling to understand her words. "What do you mean... Akane-san?" I asked softly.

Akane looked at me for a moment, then turned her gaze to the ground. The rain continued to soak us, but somehow, I didn’t care. This felt too urgent to let go.

"In short... Yuichi-san, will you... be my boy... I mean, girlfriend?"

Her question left me frozen, as if the world around me had stopped. My mind went blank. I knew I had to respond, but my mouth felt heavy. I just stood there, rigidly, as the sound of rain grew more distant.

What should I say..?

Seeing the despair and sadness Akane had just shown… should I reject her confession? Or should I just force myself to say "yes"?

I didn’t want to see her sad again, and I wanted to see her smile once more. But— my heart felt different. I... didn’t have any feelings for her.

Am I selfish? Even now, I’m thinking of myself.

Honestly, when Akane made that confession, my mind was filled with just only one person. Nagi. His face and warm smile replayed repeteadly in my mind. There was no any room for Akane there.

Is this what love feels like..?

It’s different from the feelings I had when my gender first changed. The first feeling I had for Nagi, just because of the magic that the star wish had. But... It's totally different now. I know that both feelings share a similarity, both are feelings of love. However, these feelings are also different at the same time.

This feeling didn’t come from the magic of the Star Wish, but from the time I’ve had spent with Nagi.

My heart began to race. I clenched my hand tightly, feeling the pressure in my palm. My gaze locked onto Akane; there was no more room for avoidance.

Sorry, Akane, but I can’t force my own will. It seems my heart already belongs to someone else.

I didn’t want to hurt her further, and I still wanted to keep my friendship with her. But I also couldn’t lie to myself.

"Yuichi.. san..?" Akane called me softly. Her face showed a mixture of nervousness and confusion, as she still awaited my response.

"Akane-san, I..."

Silence filled the gap in my words.

"I like Nagi..."

I turned my gaze away from Akane, afraid to see her expression now. I had mustered the courage to respond; this was the answer that came purely from my heart. Even so, it still... Felt hurt...

"Ah..."

"So that was it," Akane said, letting out a soft sigh. Although it was soft, it was a sigh of relief rather than disappointment.

"I’m sorry, Akane-san."

Akane shook her head weakly. "It’s okay. After all, it’s not like you ever did anything wrong to me," she answered, with a faint smile on her face. It was just a feeling, but that smile— it was genuine and pure, not forced.

I felt that smile was more like— a smile of relief, a release of the burden she’d been carrying.

I knew.

That all this time, Akane had been wearing a mask that kept a distance between us. Her expressions when laughing, angry, or even sad— It's just all an acting. I regretted only now realizing, that they weren’t truly Akane’s feelings.

She’d always held everything back, hiding her emotions well in front of her friends. Maybe... if I had known about that "mask" from the start, I could’ve created truly meaningful moments for her.

"I..."

"Yuichi-san. Don’t blame yourself for my troubles, because none of this is your fault. After all, everyone has a role set for them since birth. The troubles I suffer now are just a small part of the role I must fill."

My eyes widened. I gritted my teeth hard. But no words could leave my mouth.

A role? What kind of role do you mean?! That’s completely wrong! What are you really thinking, Akane..? This isn’t like you..!

I froze in place. Meanwhile, Akane slowly turned around, looking at me with a weary gaze, as if she had given up on everything.

She looked at me deeply before turning away. "Don’t worry, I’ve asked my father’s driver to pick me up. He’ll be here soon. Sorry for bothering you. I’ll be heading home now."

I stood there frozen, watching Akane’s figure slowly fade into the distance. No matter how much I wanted to move, I couldn’t. It felt as if I was held back by something invisible.

I couldn’t help but blame myself for what happened. Maybe— her sadness now was because of my response to her love confession earlier.

I can't answer your feeling, but...

I promise.

That I will save you once more, Akane.

I just hold on to the small hope in my heart, that we will meet again tomorrow—

TO BE CONTINUED.