Chapter 34 - yours

Kara

The bird was barking.

Groaning, I covered myself with a blanket, discovered it was missing. I opened one eye, got blinded by the sun.

"Ungghhh..."

The bird barked again.

"Begging you to shut the hell up."

I lifted my head slightly and stretched my feet, opened one eye, saw the blanket plopping on the floor as my legs hit it off the bed.

"Ugh. It's too faaaar to get now," I mumbled. "Might as well get up."

But I collapsed on the bed again spread-eagle, closed my eyes, yawned. And smiled as I felt the bed dip and a solid, warm body with arms like steel gathered me close.

"Good morning, Spitfire."

I snuggled closer to Cameron, buried my face in his chest. He smelled like the forest in the morning, sunlight, and the cool, sensual blue scent that clung to his skin.

"Mornin'," I muttered against his shirt, trying to cover my morning breath.

"I made you coffee. Want toast with it?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. This was our normal routine when we were together and to be here with him again felt surreal.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked.

He shifted away to look at my face, his finger tipping my chin up. The blue in his eyes was so vivid, so intense that it always made my heart skip a beat.

"Kara."

His face was extremely distracting that I almost missed the trouble and concern in his eyes if not for the tone of his voice.

"Did you change your mind?" he asked quietly.

Change my mind...? About us?

I shook my head, my arms going around him as I buried my face in his neck. "Don't ask me that ever again. I love you. I'm just...really glad we're together again."

I felt the tension in his shoulders disappear.

"And also, coffee."

He let out a low laugh. The sound felt so good in my ears especially after yesterday. "All right, coffee and toast, it is," he said.

But my arms held him close to me, stopping him from moving away.

"That's it. You leave me no choice," he said playfully.

Gripping my hips, he picked me up as he rose. I squealed as I hung onto him like a koala as he walked in the kitchen.

I couldn't see what he was doing, but I could feel his brawny arms moving. I rested my chin on his shoulder, my nose on his neck, marvelling at this moment.

"The weekend is over tomorrow. I don't want to go back yet," I said to his hair.

"We can stay here as long as you want."

"Can't. The shop's opening this week. We're putting everything back together tomorrow. Don't you have any projects right now?"

"I'm taking a break until next year, so I'll concentrate on the reno on the mansion for now, finish as much as I can before I start taking projects again." The smell of crispy toast filled the kitchen.

"Speaking of taking a break, that reminds me, we always planned to go to BC before, but we never did."

I pulled away to look at him.

His eyes lit with interest. "Wanna go for a long drive when things slow down a bit at your shop?"

I groaned. "No more talk until coffee activates my brain. Gimme what I want so no one gets hurt, then I'll give you a quick update of my life, Mr. Cameron Jeremiah Saint Laurent."

"Yes, ma'am."

He propped me on the counter, then stepped back, tapped his finger on the counter beside me to point out where he'd set my fresh cup of coffee, then sending me a quick smirk, he turned around.

I took a sip, moaned in appreciation—perfect coffee—and watched Cameron grab a plate in the cupboard just as the bread popped in the toaster. When he placed the toast on the plate, he delivered them to me, topped off my coffee. Then propping the flat of his palm on the counter, he leaned close.

"When I was in BC, the cabin where I stayed at is beside the lake. The water's blue-green, clear as glass so you can see the rocks and fish at the bottom. That's where I thought of you a lot. Imagined you there a lot. Would you like to go there with me, Kara?"

My throat felt tight, and I was afraid my voice wouldn't work so I just nodded.

"I want to go places with you," he continued, "show you beautiful things. This time it's not to escape, but to just be with you."

"When do we leave?" I asked softly, hypnotized by him.

"I imagine you'll be busy at the shop for a couple of weeks before it starts to slow down a bit. Why don't you let me know when you're free?"

I drank more coffee, took a deep breath, and tried to get my brain cells working so I could recall my calendar in my head. "Wait. Let me think."

"Will the shop be all right if you take a few days off? Veronica doesn't work in the garage anymore, does she?"

"Okay. Update time," I said, sipping more coffee before putting it down and grabbing a toast. "Caleb is in super protective mode right now especially after what happened with Ver. He really tried to convince her to take a break, but it's really important for her to get her diploma so he's calmed down a lot after she talked to him. She'll be back full-time in school next semester, and I kicked her out of the shop so she can concentrate. Then I heard something about apprenticing. I'd have to get more details out of her once we do a girls' night."

I bit on toast, chewed, swallowed. "Also, Charity heard about the fire so she's come back to help out. You've seen her."

He nodded, picked up my coffee cup and sipped. I watched his pink tongue swiped the stray droplet on his bottom lip. I cleared my throat.

"Anyway, uh, Charity decided to stay in Esther Falls. Why does she have to give up her life here because my cheater of an uncle ruined their marriage? What she went through was very difficult. She's a very strong woman. She talked to me and Dad and said she'd love to work full-time at the shop."

A small smile appeared on Cameron's mouth. I knew he was concerned for Charity, having been the one to find out that my uncle was cheating on her.

"This month is actually the slowest month of the year for the shop, so I think it should work out. Let's shoot for the last weekend, but pencil it in because I want to talk to Charity first, make sure she's okay with it."

"Of course. What about your classes?"

I finished my toast, picked up the other one. "I only have two classes a week and an online class." I grinned. "If everything goes well, I'd have fulfilled all my credits and finish this year and get my degree. Thank God school will be over soon! Took me long enough."

The small smile spread across his mouth—a sexy crooked one. "Congratulations."

"What's happening with yours? I heard you quit school?"

"Yeah," he answered, ducking down to bite a piece of the toast in my hand, chewed, swallowed. "College isn't for me." He absolutely looked unbothered by it.

"I can respect that."

"Anywhere you'd like to go today?"

"I think we need to drive to town and get some stuff for dinner. There's just, like, air in your fridge, one egg, and nothing else. Then I want to watch movies in bed with you, popcorn, and cuddles." I fed him the last piece. "What do you think of that?"

"I'd like that a lot. Anything to get you in bed with me."

I giggled. Giggled. What the hell? I never giggle. I cleared my throat, gathered some dignity back.

"But first" –I looked outside, felt delighted to be surrounded by nature—"I want to check out the whole maze. It's been so long. Can we see the maze, Cam?"

"We can do whatever you like."

I smirked. "Oh, yeah?"

He shifted, the palms of his hands stroking the inside of my thighs, spreading them open so that he could stand between them.

"Yeah," he whispered.

By the time we finished, it was two in the afternoon.

"You coming?" I called out to Cameron then stepped out of the cabin.

The sky was a soft, relaxing blue. The sun blasted on the grounds, the top of the trees shimmering and their leaves and branches swaying in the breeze. It was a happy, lovely sight. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. And felt genuinely happy.

And snapped them open again when I heard barking and a ball of golden fur came bounding from the trees straight to me. It stopped a couple feet away when it heard my high-pitched shriek.

The small poodle tilted its head from side to side, tongue lolling out, like it was trying to figure out what my language was and translating it to its own. It was very cute but looks could be deceiving. Cute or not, dogs don't particularly like me. As far as I was concerned, I could count on one hand the canines I was comfortable with. Two to be specific.

It jumped back, or more like hopped away, ears perking up. It seemed that we were both wary of each other. It looked confused to see me, like it was expecting someone else. I realized it wasn't a bird barking that woke me up this morning, but it was this little poodle. It looked familiar, but it wasn't the same dog I saw last time I was here. This one had a mix of gold and white on its body, a sprinkling of black on its ears.

"Hey, good doggy. Pretty doggy. I'm a nice human. Don't bite me."

The door jerked open behind me.

"Kara, what the fuck? Are you okay?"

"There's a dog."

"Huh?"

The moment the dog saw Cameron, it yipped cheerfully and jumped in circles. Its tail wagged like helicopter blades. It rolled over on its back, exposing its belly.

Cameron let out a small laugh, crouched down, rubbed its belly. "Hey, bud."

"That's not the same dog I saw last time I was here, is it?"

"No. This is one of her kids."

"Does it have a name?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't say anything on its collar."

"This one's got a crush on you like the other one. Aw."

Cameron rolled his eyes, then continued to pet the dog. The dog looked content to stay there forever. Well, I would be too if Cameron was the one giving me belly rubs.

"Little shit just wants to play." He looked up to where I was inching back. "Oh, come on. It won't bite."

I bit my lip, cautiously crouched down. I held my breath when the small dog rolled back on its feet.

"Okay, now stroke it under the chin," Cameron instructed.

"Okay, no? I mean that's very close to its mouth. You know teeth? Razor sharp teeth. Really, sharp teeth. Do I want to get bit? No, sir."

There was laughter in his eyes. "Here. Let it smell your hand first. See? She's harmless."

I copied what he was doing and carefully stroked it under its chin. It licked my hand. It tickled. Then it propped its head on my knee, looking up at me with light brown eyes as if it was saying, Good morning! I really, really, really like you and I want to be your best friend. Protect me. Give me treats. Give me lots of belly rubs.

I melted. "Okay. Maybe. Maybe I like you after all."

Can dogs smile? Because the look on its face looked like a goofy smile when it looked up at me.

"Okay, you can hang out with us," I decided, rising. "How about I call you...Rosie?"

It barked happily.

"I'll take that as a yes. Leezzz go, guys!"

The trellis on the entrance of the maze was covered in roses, thick and wild and gorgeous. The blooms were open and the air was heavy with their scent. It looked like a portal to another world, that if I stepped past the structure, I'd be transported to a land were fairy tales come true.

I looked over my shoulder at Cameron. He was standing behind me, a hint of smile on his mouth. Maybe I didn't have to step over to another world. My fairy tale was right here in front of me.

We walked side by side when the space allowed us, and he walked in front of me when it was too narrow. The dog ran ahead of us. Sometimes it would stop to look behind at us, wagging its tail madly, as if it was impatient for us to catch up.

Yesterday from the windows in the mansion, I noticed that the hedges and trees of the maze were professionally cut. Cameron had mentioned that he'd hired people to trim most of it but not all of it because he wanted to do the rest. I could see up ahead the part where he told them not to touch.

It was the part of the maze where Cameron rarely ventured into. Where his childhood friend Pete passed away. It wasn't exactly the spot where Pete died, but it was the way to it, the series of turns and bends that led to the place. Cameron admitted that it was the only slice of the maze he hadn't mapped out yet. He couldn't finish it after Pete died.

As expected, we turned the opposite way, away from it. I didn't comment. But I saw him lower his head, drag his hand to his neck.

"How come you don't do this as much anymore?" I asked teasingly, and I put my fist against my mouth, bit my knuckle.

"What?"

"This."

He looked at me curiously. "I do that?"

I shook my head. He wasn't even aware of it. "Yep. But you do a lot of this now." I looked down on the ground, curled my hand on my neck. "It's equally sexy. I'll take both."

Now he laughed, drove away the cobwebs of grief in his eyes. "Didn't know you're that obsessed with me." He paused, then asked out of the blue, "When would you like to move in with me?"

My heart jumped excitedly. Move in with Cameron. Even before we'd always sleep over in each other's house. We'd made room in each other's place for our things but moving in together felt different. Felt bigger and more meaningful. A huge, bold step in our relationship.

I can't wait.

"I'm going to keep the house in the city and we can stay there while I'm renovating the mansion or if you miss the city. It's closer to your family, to school, to work, and convenient for us both that way, but I'd like to live here with you."

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.

"Unlike you, I always knew you're this obsessed with me," I teased. I felt delighted knowing how much he wanted this. "Do you remember my cousin Cecille?"

He nodded patiently.

"I've been helping design her shop, and she mentioned she wants to move out of her mom's place."

"Why are you telling me this? I don't want her to move in with me. I want you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm getting there. Patience, my child. So, anyway, Aunt Tabby, Cecille's mom, is crazy, needy, clingy. A micromanager in Cecille's life."

"Uh-huh."

"Mrs. B isn't even close to Aunt Tabby's tendencies, but she's a bit of a helicopter mom to Tala, so, that's how Tala and Cecille got close. Anyway, I can't just move out of Tala's house, Cam. I can't do Tala and Mrs. B like that. Someone has to take over, so let me suggest to Cecille if she wants to move into Tala's house then we'll go from there."

"Are you telling me that you're not going to move in with me unless someone takes over your place at Tala's?"

"Yes, that's what I'm telling you."

He scowled. "Say that again?"

I sighed loudly. "Oh, come on, Bigfoot. I promise it won't take long." I stopped, wrapped my arms around his torso. "I'm 99.8% sure Cecille and Tala will be on board. The question is if they'll agree with the setup. Cecille will insist to pay rent and Tala will insist not to. Both of them are stubborn. We'll see."

He was sulking.

"I promise when I move in, we'll have the best time together."

He was still sulking but he lost the frown. I held onto the bottom of his shirt, pulled so that he'd stop walking. Then  I kissed his chin, his nose, his cheeks, then a loud smack on his mouth. He sighed, and I felt him capitulating.

"How come you didn't take on more projects this year?" I asked, wanting to move on before he could argue more. We started walking again.

He eyed me knowingly, not answering for a moment, until he let out another loud sigh that told me he wouldn't push and let it go for now, but the discussion was far from over.

"Rick might need me," he answered. "But turns out, he doesn't need me that much. Kicks me out whenever he thinks I'm hovering over him. Hates anyone watching over him. Not like I'm gonna wipe his ass or something. He's on a vacation with his sisters right now."

"When would he be back?"

"He extended his trip, said he'll come home when he's ready to come home."

"Rick's an amazing man. You know when Dad had a heart attack, we had to close the garage for a while. We were open, but only offered very limited services because Dad couldn't work. Some of our clients had transferred to a different garage. I can't blame them. But Rick stayed. He didn't have to. And I would have understood if he went to service his fleet somewhere else. I'm so grateful that he didn't. It helped a lot to keep us afloat. When word got out that we were open again, our clients came back."

"Because your garage is honest and experienced. That's the kind of business that people trust, isn't it? The drivers at The Yard told me you have great service too. Kara," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

I shook my head, reached for his hand, linked it with mine. "You're here now. I'm here now. Put it behind us."

"Why did you think I was going to sell the mansion?" he asked.

Something told me that his question wasn't as casual as he made it sound. I stopped and he did too. I waited until he looked at me.

"You were gone for a while. And I thought you'd moved on, even when I secretly hoped you haven't. Moved on from me, moved on from this place. I don't know." I let out a breath. "I guess I just didn't want to hope or expect..." I trailed off, not knowing how to put into words all the complicated feelings I experienced back then. Because what really mattered to me more than the past is the present.

"That's my fault. You never take it for granted—the things I do for you. You made me feel...appreciated. Needed. And I wish that you'd start expecting things from me again, like before. I'm sorry I took that away from you and I broke it. Your trust. I want to tell you something."

"I'm here. I'm listening to you, Cam."

"Before you came in my life, I never thought about the future. I hated it. I knew anything that meant something to me would be taken away eventually or destroyed. Not letting anything mean that much to me means I wouldn't get hurt once it gets taken away.

"I designed my life so I could pack up and leave anytime I wanted, to escape. Once I met you, I realized how pathetic it was. How much I hated it. Now I want to stay, I want more—things that seemed impossible for someone like me before. And what I want most is to build a life with you. And I'm going to protect it no matter what."

His words tugged at my heart so deeply, so intensely they had taken root inside. "I want what you want, Cam. More than anything."

"You're my everything, Kara."

He pulled me closer, stroked my face, softly kissing my jaw, my cheek, my lips. His smile was soft and hopeful as he took my hand in his, tugged me with him.

Rosie must've felt the mood because she was quiet, rubbing her body on Cameron's legs, giving comfort.

We strolled for a while. He led me to a series of turns, walking in front of me to push the branches away so I could pass.

"You know, I'm curious," I said. "When you were in high school, Raven found a way to get rid of all the people who helped you, caused them trouble. Did she do that with Rick?"

"If she did, I never heard of it."

"How about Caleb?"

"Same. If she did, Caleb never told me. I worried about it before but realized that the Lockharts are very powerful in their circle. She wouldn't dare touch a hair on Caleb's head. With Rick, I think she was afraid I'd run away again. I was in high school when I moved back here and in my father's custody. She knew I hated living with my father more than I hated living under her roof.

"Nothing held me down here. I could run away and they'd never find me again. Raven knew that staying with Rick made me stay. And she was...calmer if she knew where I was."

Further up ahead, lightning broke the sky. Massive grey clouds circled a town miles away and a curtain of rain covered its sky, blasting down thickly.

But the sky above us was blue, with white fluffy clouds.

"Those dark clouds might miss us, but just in case, I better put away the equipment I left outside the mansion. Wanna go with me or stay here? It shouldn't take long."

"I'll walk a bit more. When you're done, can we go for a drive to town?"

He held my face in his big hands, gave me a kiss. "Yeah. Wait for me and don't go anywhere."

He stepped away, walking backwards, blue eyes on me. Rosie followed him, tail wagging, then stopped, looked at me, whined, then looked back at Cameron, whined.

"Stay," Cameron said with so much authority the little dog plopped its butt down.

"Wow," I said, thrilled that Rosie knew the command. "Did you teach Rosie that?"

He shot me a quick smirk then turned around the bend and disappeared from my sight.

"It's okay, Rosie. You'll see him soon enough. Let's go."

I had walked in this maze so many times during the time we were together that I knew a lot—if not all—the secret passages, shortcuts and turns. At night it was a different story. Everything looked the same and I could easily get lost, but right now it was still bright out.

I wasn't sure if it had been on my mind all along when we passed it, or maybe it was the look of grief in Cameron's face, but before I realized it, my feet were leading me back to that place.

I was heading to the part of the maze where Cameron wouldn't allow himself to go. The only unexplored part of the maze that Cameron and Pete were supposed to find when they were eight years old.

The greenery was extremely untamed here, the spaces tighter and it was harder to see where the path was. I just kept on walking, thinking that if I couldn't find my way back, I'd just scream for Cameron. Rosie ran ahead of me, and I followed the sound of her barking and finally stepped out of the hedges.

My breath caught in my throat.

It was a small round clearing. The light here was soft, almost ethereal. The trees tall and thick and made a canopy above so that the light created shadows and beams that pierced through the leaves. The ground was covered with broken black and grey stones, with wildflowers popping out in between them.

And in the middle was a stone carving of a man on his knees, praying. He was looking up to the heavens, his face a mask of sorrow and agony. I recognized it right away. It was the shepherd who left the ninety-nine to save one lost sheep. It was my God, my King, my Redeemer: Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Birds hopped from one branch to the next, chirping happily. I listened to the wind singing a sweet song to the trees, making them dance. There was a feeling of isolation that came over me as I stood there, but the kind that gave peace rather than loneliness.

As though there was a force field around me in this small clearing keeping all the bad things out. I could still get lost in this maze, but there was a familiarity that comforted me every time I step into it. I felt assured that I would be safe here. I knew that if I called Cameron he'd be here to help me find my way out if I got lost.

A sharp series of barking from Rosie broke my reverie. She ran around and around the clearing, looking up at the trees. And I realized she was chasing the birds.

I laughed, amused at her. Sitting on the ground, I pulled my knees up and rested my chin there, watching Rosie until she got tired or bored of it. She started sniffing the ground, then digging. There was a sound of her claws scratching on something metallic that made me get up, walked toward her.

"Hey, did you find a treasure box or what?"

Tongue hanging out, she gave up and walked to the shade, plunked down and looked like she was going to take a nap. Picking up a broken branch on the ground, I poked at the soil, dug until I felt a hard surface. Intrigued, I plucked out a tin can. The kind my grandmother would use to store her sewing supplies. I opened it.

There was a folded piece of paper. When I spread it out, my eyes welled with tears. Letting out a big sigh, I sat beside Rosie, rolling the paper around my hand, wondering what to do with it.

Suddenly, Rosie charged up and she was gone like a bullet in a blink.

"Hey! Where are you going? I thought you're supposed to be tired?"

I sighed again, placed the paper in my pocket and followed her, worried that she'd get caught in a hedge or branches and get hurt. She kept barking and it was easy to follow her since I was familiar with this path. Looked like she knew it too.

By the time I stepped out of the maze to the exit, my hair and clothes were covered with twigs and leaves. The barking had stopped.

I was going to call Rosie's name when suddenly the hairs on my neck stood up. I felt the air around me change, as though an electric current was floating in the air. Then I looked up.

A woman dressed in a tight black dress and expensive stilettos was standing in front of me. She was beautiful—stunningly and unbelievably. She didn't need the diamonds around her neck and ears to make her stand out. Her long, shiny hair was so black it seemed to suck in the sunbeams around her. She looked completely out of place and was standing stock-still, like a vampire hiding in the darkness. Except she was standing in the light. The smile on her face was malicious as the look in her eyes. Dark eyes, piercing and hungry, were fixated on me. She was holding a trembling Rosie in her arms.

I knew who she was. We met before. A face, a presence like that you never forget. And so was my encounter with her. But what was she doing here?

"Well, well. Hello, Kara." Her voice was low and smoky, a little mocking, a little condescending. "So, we meet again."