Chapter 44: The Black Cross Necklace

*back in Lidia's POV <3

I still can't believe Luke made us run. Well I can't believe he made me run. I'm a growing girl, I'm not a baby anymore. Plus I didn't even kiss him on the lips! It was a peck! On the cheek!

Brothers these days.

I had to wash myself because of the sweat and I certainly didn't want that affecting my face, making it affect my makeup since we all know cakey-makeup is not desirable.

Right now I'm lying in bed, listening to my white noise machine and about to succumb to darkness when I quickly sit up. I forgot to write in my diary! I hop out of bed and look for my in my hiding place. It was still in the back of my towel cabinet since I haven't had anytime to make a new hiding place.

Dear Diary,

Guess what? I went on my first date! It was so magical and fun! Can you guess who it was with? Ian! I can't believe I ever even liked Donavon. I saw him at the diner while waiting for Ian. He is such a filthy pig.

Luke made us run up and done the drive way thirty times! Well I only had to do it five times (since I'm obviously the favorite sibling) but the rest of us had to do it thirty times. I know Luke always threatened people but I didn't know he would actually go through with it.

I had my first sleepover. Totally not what I had expected. I thought I was going to have a panic attack and think of Carl. Thank God I didn't have a nightmare about him. I told her, Audrey, about Carl. She hasn't called me a whore yet so I think I'm in the clear. Until next time!

Love,

Lidia White

I sighed and put my diary back. That diary has held me close and has been there through my darkest days. And for that, I am grateful. Even if it is only a mere book.

I lay back down and fall asleep easily. Tomorrow will bring a new day, a day I hope will not be filled with pain.

But life can never be that easy, can it?

It was early morning and I was supposed to go with Caden to his work. I woke up extra early so I don't make him late. Well his law firm opens at 8:30 a.m. and he got up around 7:45, but that still didn't stop me from waking up at 6:20.

I was done by 6:50.

I snuck downstairs and ate some breakfast, and I read  for a little bit. Y'know just doing things to pass the time. By the time he was up, I had finished cleaning my room, making my bed, finished my book, reorganized my makeup, and got dressed.

Not much for the time allowed.

When I was done reorganizing my makeup I felt I was missing something, and sure enough, I was. My black cross necklace.

I looked all over my room, but it just wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere. Hot tears were starting to form in my eyes. No. No. No. Where is it? I looked behind my dresser but I still didn't find it.

I threw the pillows off my bed. No, this can't be. Tears were now flowing down my face. I shoved my balcony doors open. The chair on the balcony floor was violently pushed to the rails as I hopelessly looked for my necklace.

No!

I was sobbing when I rushed to my bathroom. No, no, no. Please Lord no. I chanted. My newly organized bathroom was torn up into a mess. I dug through the drawers but I couldn't find anything.

I slid down the sink cabinets, the handles digging into my skin. My arms were wrapped around my knees. My forehead was touching the tip of my knees. Sobs racked throughout my body. I just couldn't stop. No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't stop.

No. This can't be it. Please God no.

I only vaguely acknowledged my bedroom door bursting open. I was too focused on my necklace missing. What will I do now? If I don't have it, then I won't be able to get better. I won't be able to be happy. Where the hell is it?

"Lidia? Lidia? Lidia! Baby, what's wrong?" I heard a strong voice ask. They were trying to pull my head up out of my shaking body.

"Lidia!" The voice shouted again.

My head snapped up, not wanting to get in trouble. Carl is mad. So mad. Why am I crying? The rules were no crying. Why am I breaking them?

"Lidia, I'm right here. Tell me what's wrong?" Someone who isn't Carl asked.

"W-who- w-what? Where am I?" I tried to back up.

"It's me, Caden. It's your brother, Caden. You're okay. You're okay." He pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair.

"I-I'm okay?"

"Shhhhh. Yes baby girl, you're okay. I'm right here. I'm here." He cooed.

I nodded into his chest. "I'm okay."

We stayed there for a few more minutes, him rocking me and me going limp in his arms. After a bit he slightly pulled away and looked me in the face. "Chica, what's wrong?" He softly asked.

"My black cross necklace." I hiccuped.

"Yes? And what about it?" He pried further.

"I lost it."

His fingers were lightly brushing off stray tears. "Okay. We'll just find it."

"And if we can't?"

"Then we'll get another one."

"No, no we can't. We can not get another one. There is not one like it." I shook my head.

"Okay okay. We won't get another one. Just stop shaking your head, you're going to hurt yourself."

I nodded okay. After a few minutes of him holding me I said, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Making you late to work." I replied. I made him late all for a necklace. True I wouldn't be able to stop crying and I would have anxiety for the rest of the time it's gone, but I still made him late.

"It's okay. I own the place, it doesn't matter if I'm late or not."

"M'k. I'm still sorry."

"You're forgiven." He said and continued to stroke my hair.

Once I calmed down a bit, we got up to look for it. My room was a mess. Pillows were on the floor, the objects on my desk sprawled across the room, my makeup was so violently thrown, that some mascara had rolled all the way to my bedroom door.

Caden didn't say anything as he checked underneath my bed, behind my drawers, on my balcony. I helped him, a little more calmly than I had before so that was good.

"What are we going to do about the mess?" I sheepishly asked him.

"Nothing. The house cleaner comes today so we'll let her deal with it."

"We have a house cleaner? I didn't know that." I scrunched my eyebrows.

He chuckled. "Yes, we have a house cleaner. She normally comes on Tuesdays but she wouldn't be able to make it so we changed it to today."

"Oh okay. That makes sense."

He stood in front of me and rubbed his hands together. "Okay so, it's not up here," tears began to well again, "but! That doesn't mean we can't check downstairs. Let's go."

He grabbed my hand and held it in his. His hands were a bit calloused and rough but they had a sense of home in them. It was totally weird to me why he would do this. Caden never does this. Who is this man and what has he done with Caden?

We walked along the hallway-hands still interlocked- and looked to the floor. I was crushed when it wasn't on the stairs, hallway, or the kitchen. I was about to give up hope and accept my fate of never being calm again when Caden had the brilliant idea of searching the dining room.

We walked in there and sure enough! It was right where I had left it last night. I suddenly remembered why I had taken it off. The food we were eating was very messy and I didn't want my necklace to get caught in it. That would be so gross. I guess I must've forgotten it. How embarrassing.

"Do you want me to put it on you?" Caden asked.

I nodded and he walked over and took the black cross out of my hands and hooked it behind my neck. I caressed it and breathed in deeply.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you like that cross so much?" Caden asked. He was standing a couple feet away from me, like I was about to possess him or something.

"Well-" I actually don't know. I mean it was the only consistent article of clothing that was with me through all the years of torture. "Well I guess it's something from the past. I was out buying candy when I got it. When I was paying this sweet old woman, who was the cashier, looked at me and asked if I wanted her necklace. I accepted it and thanked her. I guess now it's my safe item. Y'know like a person's safe space it's my safe item."

And that was the truth. I was out buying groceries when the cashier asked me if I wanted her necklace, saying how her grandkids would just auction it off. I like to think she saw I was in pain and wanted to help the best she could. And she did. It was the first gift since mom and Carl got married. It was the one thing they never took away from me. It went through the same things I did; so it's a survivor, like me.

"Huh. Well, in that case, we should go find her and get her a gift." He said.

"Caden, I don't think we can find her, let alone get her a gift." I giggled.

"Why not?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Because it happened seven years ago, and she looked to be in her mid seventies." I giggled some more. Why would he want to do that?

His face was confused as he said, "So you went to the grocery store by yourself at the age of seven? Sarah allowed this?"

My smile didn't disappear as he said it. It just wasn't as genuine. "Well mom was sick and Carl was at work so I had to get her some medicine. Plus the grocery store was like a ten minute walk from my house." I lied. We were out of food and I used my personal money to pay for it.

"Well okay then. As much as I don't want to go to work, it must be done." He threw his arms down and huffed.

Guilt from earlier came seeping back in. "I really am sorry for what happened today." I bowed my head. I never will understand how my brothers could be so forgiving. If it were up to Carl, I would be living somewhere out on the streets.

"Hey, it's okay. Really. I didn't want to go in today either so it's a win-win situation. I get to miss some work, and you got to find your necklace." He assured me. Now if it was Zack or Luke or something, he would've come up and assured me that I'm loved. All Caden does is say he's glad he got to miss work.

It's really comedic if you think about it.

We drove to his law firm and I did nothing. Like nothing. I played on my phone, did eeny meeny miny mo on some of the objects in his break room. I don't know why I couldn't have gone with Luke or Zack. Luke's break room is literally designed for us. This just has a couch, coffee maker station thingy, water dispenser, and a round table with four chairs around it.

I think some of his employees got annoyed when I made those clicking noises with my tongue. I eventually found a game I liked. I call it 'Who gets mad first'. The rules are simple. You have to be obnoxious and annoying when a employee is in there. If they leave first, three points. If they ask you to be quiet first, five points.

Let's just say none of them like me.

Like none.

At all.

He came and got me after four hours and we went home. It was uneventful after that. Me and Caden definitely bonded more. I rubbed my black cross necklace as I laid down to sleep. I love this thing more than anything in the world. It's the only thing I know that'll have my back.

It's the one thing Carl couldn't take away.

Woooooooo. A lot of emotions going on here. I have an essay to do that also counts as a final. Wish me luck. I hope you like it and don't forget to vote, comment, and obviously like:)