21. Pain

AdlynSmith

here is your double update!

Double update monday!!!! Do enjoy ;)

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Lovess!

Sunlight drifted through the blinds, dilating the cerulean blue of my curtains, casting blue shadows across my eyes. Yawning, my lids fluttered open, seeing my whole room was tinted blue as if i were under the sea.

I felt... refreshed.

Waking up at 4am from the sound of Nic coming home was the only time I awoke during the night, but went right back to sleep. Speaking of Nic, he leaves every night, not returning until the early morning. I thought at first he was meeting females from other packs but he hasn't brought a scent home yet.

The aroma of bacon wafted up the stairs and into my room like the hunch back of notre dame, filling my senses all the while my taste buds salivated in my mouth. Another day waking up to the smell of bacon, how my mom has always woken us up. With food.

I sighed happily, stretching and groaning before popping up out of bed and slipping on my fuzzy flip flop style house shoes. Taking a look in the mirror before i opened up my door, i noticed the dark circles weren't there today. First night in a months I've had any sleep..

Upong Stepping down last step into the open living room and kitchen, i saw mom busy cooking the bacon. Dad sat in his "special" recliner reading thr paper and Eden was..

"Eden?" I caught everyone's attention as i entered the room.

Eden's bright green eyes glanced up at me, a slow grin spreading on her face as assesed my pajamas, wiggling her brows at me. "Ouch girl, we have to talk about those pajams."

"Whats wrong with my pajamas?" I frowned at her, looking down to make sure nothing was hanging out.

She scrunched her nose. "Not sexy at all."

Dad growled from his recliner, glaring at Eden. "Her jammies are perfect. Nothing wrong with your jammies, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes. "Dad. Pajamas. Im not a pup."

Nic came bounding down behind me, seeming cheerful for once. I was shoved unceremoniously up against the wall with an "oomph" as Nic ran into the kitchen sniffing the air in his boxers only.

"I smell bacon." His deep voice sounded raspy with sleep. I could see Eden's eyes travel over him, studying all the rippling muscles with a glint in her eye.

A low whistle broke through the room. Nic whipped around, his eyes landing on Eden and his jaw dropped open immiately.. eyes scanning her long legs.

"Nice boxers Nic." She winked. He glanced down at his superman boxers and rolled his eyes, turning around to head back upstairs to change i presume.

The entire room burst out laughing, even dad. Mom smirked at me as she flipped a piece of bacon in the frying pan. We all had this... normal atmosphere happening around us today.. with my friendship with Deacon getting back to normal and Eden being here, it was as if I was given a new reason to live. I still had thoughts of Zaryn, but they werent the love sick emotional kind they once were.

But a storm was brewing.

I could feel it.

"Oh, Nova.." dad turned, looking over at me. His forehead was creased and a hard set line was forced upon his lips. "Pack barbecue tonight. The healer arrives today. Its in her honor.. for some moon awful reason." He grumbled the last.

I remembered because Deacon reminded me yesterday but had forgotten all about it until just now. What a way to ruin my day.

Mom still hadn't said a word.. too busy with cooking breakfast. I walked up next to her and pressed my cheek against hers. "Morning mom."

She returned my greeting, smiling at me softly. "Morning Nova. Go ahead and make a plate before your brother and father eat all of it."

Creaking wook followed by the sound of weights being dropped down the staircase alerted us to Nic's return.

"Hey im a growing wolf. I need the extra food." He informed us as he entered the kitchen this time in dark jeans and a black tshirt.

Eden and i exchanged a smirk before i trudged over to the couch, flopping down next to her, my brow raised in curiosity. "So.. did you meet the witch? What did you think? Any vibes?"

Her electric green eyes met mine with mischeif. "I met her alright. She tried to befriend me but i immediately put my hand up and said, hold up. Im team Nova." Her bright smile flashed my way as i giggled at her hand gestures and head roll.

"But yeah.. I definitely got a bad vibe from her. Apparently she wants to stay with her aunt so they are getting a cabin together. I get my own next to the Oracle.. you know.. so i have my privacy." She winked before mouthing the word "party"

I shook my head, taking a swig of  orange juice. I felt on top of the world. Having my family.. my best girl friend.. I felt like i honestly had a fresh start. I could forget all about Zaryn's pregnant shewolf going on like this.

After breakfast, i helped mom clean the dishes and load them up as everyone relaxed, full bellies gearing us up for the day. Nic wanted to speak to mom and dad out back, which i assume was about his visit with Alpha Blake. Meanwhile Eden tried her best to convice me that i just needed to have some fun and let loose.

She leaned in close so my parents wouldn't hear her. Wolves can hear the slightest sounds. "So look, no one throws parties like i do and you know this, man. Tonight we are going to have one." Her eyes held this mischievous glint they have always held.

I deadpanned her. "Thats if you can get Alpha Blake to agree."

A knock at the door interrupted our whispers as both Eden and i cocked our heads at each other in confusion. Dad wandered inside before i could get up from the couch, opening the

door for Alpha Blake who stood with a warmth in his eyes. Mom and Nic soon followed inside and Blake's eyes landed on Nic as the Alpha puffed up with pride.

"Alpha Blake. What are you doing here?" My dad held his gaze with a bit of confusion. Blake never comes out here to the houses unless its bad news. It didn't seem like daunting news.

Alpha cleared his throat, "I wanted to come by personally to congratulate Nic." He smiled proudly as Nic's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Congratulate me for what?" Nic stepped forward, head cocked to the side like a puppy who didnt understand.

Alpha Blake entered our home, smiling at all of us, his eyes landed on me and his head bowed before returning his sight back to Nic. "The western pack called, boasting about how your training summer went. They said you were a brute force! You didnt lose a single battle? That's never happened for a beta in training on their first year. Much less their second. Im proud of you Nic." Alpha grinned without showing teeth as he ruffled Nic's hair. Nic's mouth stretched into a lopsided proud grin, chest puffed out from the Alpha's words.

My dad's green eyes turned wide as his head swiveled toward Nic, a grin broadening on his face. First one ive seen in a long time. "My boy went undefeated? Even your old man didnt get that sort of accomplishment in my day." He chuckled. "Why didn't you tell us!?"

Nic just shrugged. "I didnt think it was a big deal. Didn't know it was actually."

Mom kept glancing at Alpha Blake with a nervousness about her.. glancing at Nic and back to Blake as they stood side by side, going on and on, boasting, puffing him up even more. As they stood side by side, i could tell they had this same stance about them, chest out, head back.

"Alright alright lets not give this wolf a bigger head than he already has" Alpha chuckled. "Dont forget everyone, we are having a pack barbecue tonight. I'll see you all there." He turned to leave.

Eden quickly stood. "Alpha! I was wondering if maybe we could have a teensy tiny party tonight?" She batted her lashes, smiling at him innocently.

Alpha grunted. "If i remember correctly, teensie doesnt exist in your vocabulary, Eden.. but hell, go for it. You better clean up this time though." It was obvious he was fighting a smile as Eden laughed.

She turned to me, wiggling her brows. "Well then. I have a party to plan. Ill see you lot later. Nova, ill come get you before the barbecue arrives." She winked before sashaying out the door past Alpha Blake who shook his head, eyes rolling to the ceiling.

Once Alpha left as well, dad got on the phone to boast to his friends about Nic, going on and on about how he was one tough wolf. Apparently this was the type of thing that went down in history, bringing his family name to a new record and status. He would surely be picked as Beta once he won against the others.

The grin on Nic's mouth never once let up and the room began to reek with male testosterone. "Mom. Im going out for a while, ill meet you guys at the barbecue." He kissed her cheek before spitting his gum in the trash, heading out the door. No one even noticed I was still sitting on the sofa. Usual.

I watched as mom dipped her hand in the trash, carefully carrying Nic's gum he had spat out before she stuck it in a plastic bag, shoving it in her apron. I furrowed my brow in disgust watching her as she continued to busy herself with the dishes, never noticing my presence in the living room.

What has gotten into her? Why would she want Nic's discarded gum...

My mind started wandering with possibilities.

-------------------------------------

When it came time for the barbecue, mom and dad went ahead with their infamous dishes as they usually do while I continued to decide what to wear. I chose a turquoise dress with silver sandals, my hair down in waves and applied a little bit of makeup just in case. Eden had come early so we could walk together as promised.

She gazed curiously around my room, noting nothing had really changed aside for the comforter set, a black goose down comforter. I watched as she wondered over toward my vanity in her tight dark wash skinnies and red flowy tank, black snakeskin red wedge booties to match. She really did have good taste but i could never pull it off.

"And what pray tell is this?" She held up the golden locket Zaryn had given me, a coy smirk on her red lips. Rolling my eyes, i took the necklace from her and put it over my head, tucking the locket down the front of my dress.

"Its a locket Zaryn gave me. His feelings get hurt if I dont wear it." My words were mumbled.

Eden scoffed incredulously. "And what about your feelings when you see that miserable wretch of a pregnant she witch!?" Her infuriated green eyes met mine in the reflection of the mirror i was using.

"Better left undiscussed. Its complicated." My lips pursed "come on, lets go."

Stepping out into the evening air, I watched the sun as it sat on the horizon, sending shades of pinks and oranges throughout the western sky. Deep blue overhead and a mix of purple where the pink met the blue. A beautiful blend of natures own colors.  The air blew softly, you could smell the fresh cut grass mixed with smoked meats and other delectibles from the barbecue.

"Eden.. I have a question.. an oracle related question.." i kept my eyes straight ahead, watching the dirt road in front of me, fascinated by the particles that floated into rays of sunlight.

"Shoot" her eyes stayed straight ahead, hands slipping into her tiny back pockets.

Sighing, I contemplated on how I could ask her this... without stirring any unwanted questions.

"Is there any way you could ask for a specific vision? Im not sure how seers even work." I decided to find out if she could even help me before sending her into hysterics.

"Yes. Sometimes the moon just shows me things but i can also ask questions using my runes and carved bowls."

I inhaled slowly, gathering the courage. "I want you to ask one about my family. Specifically my mother.. something has been up with her lately and im worried."

Eden didn't faulter as I peered sideways to gauge her reaction. She threw her hair behind her shoulders as she kept ahead with a straight face, her wedge heels clomping along the dirt. "Done. Ill do it first thing in the morning."

"Thank you." I breathed a sigh of releif.

She glance at me with all seriousness. "An oracle doesn't ask and doesnt tell to anyone but the petitoner.  I take my vows seriously." Her words were meant to ease my worries and they did.

As we maneuvered toward the back yard of the pack house, I saw that many Wolves were gathered all around at the baebecue. Many picnic tables were set up with different foods adorning them all, a large pig roasting over hot coals had my wolf urging for a taste.. the smoke from the barbecue pit roiled in the air, filling it with mouth watering aromas of ribs, steaks and cornish hens. Pack barbecues were never a joke.

I had no need to greet all the wolves, I was happy being with just the people i loved.. i wasnt a social butterfly which was one reason that made it hard for me to understand why I was supposed to be Luna. Im nothing like a Luna. My eyes darted all around, searching  for the new comer, sniffing for that new scent amongst my pack.

Eden laughed lowly. "Well Nic seems to be in a fabulous mood."

I searched, spotting him talking to a group of females as they postured toward him, his chest puffed with pride probably over telling them of what he had accomplished.

"Oh no that witch didnt.." Edens low harsh whisper and the glare in her glowing eyes had me frowning as I scanned the crowd, my heart hammering in my chest.

I spotted Grace sporting a white figure hugging maxi dress, showing off the swell of her belly that held an alpha pup in the making. A pang of jealously flew through me like a tidal wave as i watched her hand caress a future that was meant for me. I felt my heart drop but continued to walk with Eden as i held my head high, trying to push back the emotions I was feeling.. the ones that called upon my wolf. She wasn't happy, snarling at her in my head, sending me urges that begged me to let her just make it all go away....

Looking to Grace's side, i saw her..

A witchy looking woman.. beautiful, maybe late thirties with pale skin, black hair.. even blacker eyes that stared off into nothing, until they met mine. Her head jerked so that those coal black orbs stared deep into my soul as she leaned to whisper in Grace's ear. Grace cut her muddy brown eyes to me, nodding. A low growl erupted from my chest, shaking my bones.

"Alright Nova don't wolf out on me yet." Eden grabbed my arm, a fake broad smile plastered on her ruby lips as she steered us toward a large table that held punch and other drinks including beer and champagne. I was too consumed with the need to run or rip into Grace's throst to even attempt to choose a drink.

"Here." Eden handed me a plastic flute of champagne. "It will take the edge off." She took another for herself  and smiled down at me empathetically before her eyes glanced up, her lips broadening to a grin. I didnt know why until a tap on my shoulder had me turning around quickly.

A group of six females a bit older than me all smiled, showing no teeth. Their leader, a ruby red headed wolf with beautiful dark blue eyes immediately pressed her cheek into mine. "We just wanted to come by.. and say how wonderful we think you are. I know this must be hard for you but know that the future apha doesnt have our support if he were to choose another. We are so sorry for what you've had to endure. And if you ever need anything.. we are all here for you." She smiled softly as the female beside her brought me into a hug, pressing her cheek tomine as well, followed by the other four females.

I could sense the tightness at the back of my throat, tears threatening to spill but not at my sadness.. but how these wolves ive never even associated with could make me feel so special. To know that i had people who supported me that included the entire pack including Zaryn's own best friends mate.

"Thank you." I managed to choke out, meeting their smiling eyes.

Once they scatterd back to the party, i felt the overwhelming feeling to be alone.. to want to go somewhere and cry my heart out as i recognized fear and sorrow, my old friends, grip my insides, twisting with clawed hands.

"Nova. Do not. Not here. Push it down." Eden turned so her eyes were all i could see. "Push all of those feelings down and turn them into hatred. Do not seem weak.. show them you can handle this.. that you are the better wolf out of Zaryn or that witch." Her hand soothed my arm, rubbing my fur down while her eyes managed to pull me out of the crippling stages of anxiety.

I released a deep breath, downing the champagne as Eden smiled softly. "Thats my girl."

I felt a sudden shiver erupt down my spine, settling on my ass and down my legs.. but it was pleasant. I knew that shiver all too well..

Turning, i met Zaryn's infinite baby blues, staring at me, darting all over my body before settling on the necklace that rested on my neck, the charm tucked inside the top of my dress. I gave him a breif sad smile before turning away, the swolen belly still on my mind with how strong his pup is growing.

"Hey Nova.... Eden! Im so glad you're back!" Deacon's voice interrupted my train of thought as he sauntered towards us, pulling Eden in his arms for a hug. Eden's musical laugh filled the air, patting his back before they broke away, her hand touching his cheek, assesing how much he had changed. Her face suddenly went blank, the smile disappearing quickly as her eyes flashed black for a moment before shifting back to the bright green they normally were. She pulled her hand away, eyeing Deacon carefully.

"Deacon, pick the wrong side and you will meet the moon." her words were flung out in a rush, shocking him, his brows furrowing.

"What?" He stared at her like she was crazy. I purse my lips, eyes gaging his reaction.

What did she mean?

Eden blew out a deep breath. "I had a vision.. what the moon showed me. That's all i can tell you. Excuse me." She hurried off, walking away from us briskly, her whole demeanor had changed in an instant which had me worried what she saw was something awful in his future.

"Well that was weird. Not the welcome i was expecting." Deacon chuckled, pulling me into a side hug.

"You hangin in there?" His eyes roved over my face before landing on the golden chain of my locket. His nostrils flared slightly but he remained unphased. However, i could sense his displeasure.

My teeth rolled against my bottom lip, taking it between them and biting a bit hard as i glanced to the witch. "Yeah i guess so. The witch keeps looking at me."

"Which one?" He mused, hand still resting on my lower back.

His eyes followed where mine were staring into the coal black orbs of the healer, Grace's aunt. She had not stopped staring even as I caught her. Instead, her eyes darted to Deacon, a slow smile spreading across her beautiful lips. To be such a witchy looking woman, she was indeed beautiful.

He bent down, whispering in my ear. "Shes a healer. Not a witch. But very much as creepy." His hand rubbed my lower back soothingly.

"Yeah well I dont get a good vibe from her."

Suddenly I was caught off guard when I heard Grace's high pitched voice shout. "Oh my! I just felt a kick!" Her smile beamed around to other wolves who just stared at her with disgust. She quickly noticed she would get no attention from this and reigned her happiness in, seeming to shrink in on herself, slouching, eyes glancing up at the other wolves who did nothing. The healer smiled brightly at her, her hand going to her belly. Grace gave her a thankful smile as she felt her unborn life kick inside her womb.

Out the corner of my eyes, i saw Zaryn, rushing past me. He didnt stop.. but kept walking closer toward her with an urgency.

No... no no no...

I felt Deacon's hand grip my side, holding me to him to steady me, knowing what i was about to witness.

Zaryn stopped, standing before her as she smiled up at him in wonder, taking his hand and placing it on the side of her belly with a proud smile. I watched the gut wrenching scene before me with anguish as he kneeled, both hands going to her stomach with eyes widened in amazement

I couldn't watch this anymore.

I turned away from Deacon, walking off , noting other males whispering to each other harshly, sending snarls their way... females eyeing me with sorrow.

My heart dropped.. stomach clenching in that knot I had become used to as the emotions in me surged. The need to feel her bones break became strong as my wolf raged inside me with sheer anger. I couldn't hold onto my emotions.

My heart sped up, beating rapidly as my nose begin to sting from the tears i kept at bay. It felt as if i were having a heart atrack. All those words he had said to me.. the promises he made. Even though i didnt want him, it didnt mean i didnt hurt..

I fell to my knees with the overpowering emotions, my wolf throwing me to the back of our mind because my own emtions were too shattered to keep her at bay.

A beastly roar came from my throat as the wolfs eyes were now seeing out of my skull, watching all the other wolves direct their gaze on me. I sank to my knees with another loud roar, taking everyone's attention.

Before I knew it, my own bones were shifting. Snapping and cracking noises filled the air as Fur spiked through my pores as my dress flew in the air ripped to shreds from the shift, my wolf taking over completely, cutting my access to our brain.

Everyone around me scattered, watching with wide eyes as the wolf surged forward, fully shifted. She reared back on her hind legs, tail down low against her rump, chest going to the ground as her ears laid flat on her head.. snarling. A vibration so strong that had pups whimpering and a few juveniles shaking.

Grace stared at my wolf in horror as she stared back at her... a challenge. One she would never make it out of. The wolf wanted her throat. But this time she wanted to crush it between her powerful jaws.. tasting that blood filled with hormones.

Zaryn stood, eyes darting to my wolf. But the werent his. They were his wolf's as well..

His wolf had come out... to protect his pup yet sooth his mate. His wolf was taking control since Zaryn couldn't... wouldn't.

My wolf growled at him, showing her teeth as more and more wolves backed up, giving me space. I could hear some wolves cheering for me to take her out ....

Grace huddled next to the healer, her hands going around her stomach protectively as he Healer watched the wolf in me... eyes narrowing.

"Get Grace out of here." Alpha Blake's voice boomed. When no one bothered to help, Nic stepped in, lifting her and taking her away as the healer followed. This made my wolf snarl at our brother touching the enemy, mate be damned.

Zaryn shifted, clothes shredding into bits as his wolf growled back at me, settling low to the ground with dominance in his stance, telling me to put my teeth away. He didnt like being growled at by his mate. My wolf would never relent. She inched closer, teeth bared for him to see, showing she would sink them into him if he dared her.

Zaryn's wolf, much bigger than mine, lunged at me, jaw snapping towards my scruff, not intended to harm but she was too quick, dodging his attack and following him with her eyes as she moved sideways, snarling with anger.. wanting to find the pregnant female and end her.

Alpha stood there with my dad, watching Zaryns wolf and mine.. both ready to step in if he couldn't make me submit.

The wolf lunged at Zaryn's, teeth biting into his scruff before retreating. That's when he attacked with a snarl, teeth sinking into my own scruff. My wolf bucked, whipping her head side to side, increasing the pain but she didnt care. Blood ran down her white fur, onto the ground. A small whine in the back of Zaryn's wolf's throat could be heard beneath his growling. He could sense our upcoming heat.. it was driving his wolf to act on instinct. He wanted her to submit so he wouldn't hurt her but she refused.

The next thing he did, shocked both me and my wolf.

He sunk his teeth into her shoulder, plunging them deep.

Marking my wolf as his wolf's mate.

A surge of emotion ran through me as My wolf and I began to feel Zaryn's wolfs wants.. needs.. they could all be felt while his teeth were inside her neck, just as he began to feel hers.

He has wanted to mark her for some time now.

He couldnt soothe her anger and blood lust unless she bore his mark and her scent being so tempting, his wolf did what he wanted to do.

Wolves dont think about trivial things such as consequences.

Pleasure radiated inside our body.. feeling his wolfs need to claim her body rise. His teeth remained in her skin as he growled low, calming her.. soothing her. Now that he made her his, one sidedly, he was able to reach her.. feeling her pleasure.

She gave up, flopping onto her side. She let him lick the mark, happiness spreading through her while i felt nothing but contempt. His wolf's  desires and urges left our mind once he removed his teeth.. but now he would forever feel my wolf's own wants.. desires.. urges.

Collective gasps went around at the sight that had just been witnessed.. cheering amonst the pack at the fact their future alpha had completed half the bond to their true future luna.

I felt humiliated at how our wolves just reacted.

He began rubbing himself into her fur, wanting to take her in another way.

I pushed my wolf, forcing her to feel my misery. I wouldnt let her revel in this glory she found. I wanted her to taste how fowl it was on my tongue. She whined, feeling my hatred at what had just been done to her. To us. Without my consent.

My skin side wasnt marked.. but my wolf side was now. Half of a bond completed on Zaryn's side. A full bond would have to be both our wolves marking each other along with both our skin sides marking each other.

This was a one way bond now. One i didnt think i could get out of.

He would constantly feel what my wolf wanted, in either of his forms. My wolf wanted things that I did not. This could be dangerous for me...

I managed to make her so miserable with my feelings that i was able to take charge of our mind and guide her to get up and run away. I just wanted to get away from this .. mistake.

Running through the forrest, up the mountain side toward my special spot, i pushed her hard.. not allowing her to go after the rabbits she so wanted to chase. Her whine broke through as she ran, my own emotions saddening her for me. Not understanding. She cried out, not liking my control over her... not letting her feel the pleasure of the one sided bond.

I didnt stop pushing until we wound up at the small clearing overlooking the lake, before i shifted back into my skin. I stayed kneeling, naked and alone as the tears came forth, building up, blurring my vision.

I let out a sob as my body wracked with humility, greif, guilt, embarassment.. all the pain that I had rid myself of months ago came flowing back tenfold, ravaging my heart.. the pieces that lay broken quivered inside my body..

I wanted to run away. Run far far away where no one could ever find me again.

The fact i could feel Zaryn's wolf prowl in my head, searching for my wolf's needs made me sick to my stomach. I lurched forward, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the lush clovers beneath me before rolling onto my back with exhaustion and misery, staring up at the sky as i let the tears fall down my temples. My body shook with the occasional sob.

Something had been taken away from me.

My will.

Only half of it but part of it none the less. Deacon was right. He would be with Grace if she had that pup. What choice did he have? Maybe he wouldnt because of the anarchy happening within the pack. It was obvious tonight.. but i didnt want to be bound to him..

I wanted my choice.

Watching him go to her, touching her swollen belly. It was enough to break me. Ravaging my soul from the inside out. And now look what has happened.

The wolf always gets what it wants.

I cried out helplessly, my breasts shakng with how hard my sobs wracked me.

I felt a familiar hand touch my foot, shocking me. I sat up quickly, frightened in my state. Deacon stared into my eyes with a sadness and. understanding in those azure eyes.. They never left mine as i lay before him, a naked crying mess. He didnt say a word, just pulled my arms up so that i was sitting, curled in his lap. His strong arms held me, rubbing my skin  everywhere he could touch with his rough hand as i cried into his chest.. soothing my soul.

"Shhh its okay. Its going to be okay Nova."

He rocked me for a while before my tears ceased. Looking up at him, i noticed his jaw clenched.. his touch was gentle but his face... his features were hard and angry. His peered down at me, coal black irises blown out fully.. He was so angry that his wolf surfaced. Staring at me.

"Why are you angry?" I croaked.

He shook his head and continued to stroke my skin gently. "Im not angry at you. Its him im angry at."

"It was the wolf Deacon. Dont be mad at Zaryn. The wolves can control themselves around each other.. the mate bond pulls them. They dont think. And im close to my heat... even you have lapses of judgement around me right now." I reasoned with him

His angry gaze settled on me, nostrils flaring. "Then my wolf hates his wolf. I hate his wolf. He could have controlled it. Hes an alpha. Think about it. Yeah your upcoming heat has something to do with it but all he did was make it worse."

My mouth fell open at his words. He was right... him being Alpha, he could control the action of his wolf. He was 4 years older than me.. 21. Four years of experience and the power to do it.

He just let this happen..

But also being Alpha... his mate being close to her heat this way.. he wouldn't have been able to control this. Its what spurred him on... i know it is.. but i wouldn't argue with him.

"How do I get rid of it." I whispered softly.

He shook his head slowly, a lock of his dark hair falling into his eye. "Unless someone else claims your skin and wolf side.. or unless he claims someone else, then it will stay." His eyes shifted back to blue, looking deep into my red puffy rimmed green ones .. thoughts playing behind those eyes.

"Do you want to get dressed?" His eyes took in my naked huddled body against his.

I nodded solemnly.

Pulling away with a shaky sigh, he reached behind him and handed me a coral colored dress and a pair of black lace thongs. I looked up at him with wide eyes, my lips parted.

A small smile found its way onto his plump lips as he rolled his eyes. "You left some things when you moved out of the packhouse. I figured you'd want them right now.

"Thank you D."

He helped me stand on shaky legs, stumbling a few times at how exhausted i felt. He took the panties from me, sinking down to his knees. "Hold onto my shoulders. Step in"

I couldn't find words as he held my panties out in front of my legs, helping to dress me.

Taking his shoulders, i slipped one leg into the hole followed by the other before he gently rose them up my thighs, hands shaking slightly as he pulled them up my hips. He breathed in, smelling the air, taking in the essence of me which embarassed me but i knew it was a male thing with me being so close to my heat.

Standing, he took the dress and gazed down at me with no emotion. "Arms up."

I complied, putting my arms up in the air, his eyes lingering on my breasts for just a moment, biting his lip before putting the dress over my head and sliding it down my body so it hung at mid thigh.

"Thank you. For helping me. For always helping me." I stared at his face, noticing how handsome he really was. Not as handsome as Zaryn but handsome none the less.

He pulled something out of his pocket, holding his hand out to show me what it was.

"My locket?" A frown formed slightly confused as to why he would retrieve it if he hated it so much.

"I know what this means to you so it would be wrong if i didnt grab it." He closed his hand, dropping it in the pocket of my dress before pulling me into his firm warm body, strong arms folding against my back, his face angling into my neck, placing a gentle kiss.

"It will get better Nova. Trust me."

I closed my eyes, resting my weight into him as he held me close. My heart was already broken and shattered beyond recognition before this day... but now i dont think i can come back from it. Im too lost in its depths..

I held onto Deacon , not letting go for even the slightest as tears fell silently from my face. My neck sore from where my wolf was marked had me shaking slightly with the realisation Zaryn was halfway there with the bond.

"Im here for you Nova. Everything will work out." He whispered as he pulled back slightly, eyes staring into mine before dropping to gaze at my lips.

He pressed his lips to mine softly, breifly kissing my swollen ones before pulling away. It gave me a slight tingle inside at the feeling but only because of my hormones leeching out. No unmated wolf can resist that scent... whether you are friends or not. I was close to my heat.. so i understood his affection. It wasn't misguided.

" i love you N. I will always be your best friend no matter what."

And i truly believed that.

"I love you too D." I smiled weakly.

"Come on. Lets get you home because your scent is driving me crazy and I think you probably need to go ahead and have your mom make you the tea to mask your scent until your heat gets here."

He lifted me in his arms, carrying me against him with no strain or effort as he took the back way so we wouldn't have to pass through the party.

"I really meant what I said D. Thank you. For everything." I snuggled into him.

His lips pressed against my temple softly. "Always."

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Wordcount: 6335! Highest one yet.

And wow that was some craziness!!!! Im going to desicate this chapter to someone once i get to the webpage. Bc those who sorta guessed it still get a shout ;)

Keep the guesses coming!

Youll get a shout!