51. Unsteady

Chapter Soundtrack:

X Ambassador - Unsteady

Dedicated to xoXHaydenXox for

the song selection..

Ive had a lot of messages from my ghost readers aka silent readers and im so happy everyone likes my story! Im dancing around like a leprechaun on ... something now haha. I love you all. Its you guys who read vote and comment who make my story worth it.. and to you, i tip my hat and say thank you!

Xoxo chilee

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Nova

The darkness surrounded us as the inky forrest soared past the window.

Silence..

The silver moonlight overhead, taunting me. Its as if she has it out for me.

I sat in the passenger seat, quiet. After about thirty minutes of hysterical crying and weeping.. Conrad listening to my muffled words and trying to calm me.. i let the pain go and allowed the numbness to take me. Its like a never ending cycle.

Pain. Numbness. Pain. Numbness.

What comes when pain and numbness dont work anymore?

Ive noticed in the past, Anger made me feel again when nothing else would. But i had no energy to be angry anymore. Not at anyone other than myself.

Its all my fault.

My wolf , wallowing in greif.. her hatred at me for leaving.. at everyone.. for everything. She is curled up in a ball.. whining in my head..

All i felt now is that deep seeded mourning for my best friend that my monster of a mate killed before my eyes out of pure spite and jealousy.

I'm so glad im not pregnant with his pup.

The moment i started bleeding was a joyous moment but it was prematurely celebrated as the pain in my insides began cramping me to the point of tears, which i was already in because of Deacons death.

Conrad had driven as fast as he could to human territory while I sobbed in my seat, curled in the fetal position from the pain internally and in my chest from losing my best friend..

he found a store and ran in, quickly purchasing tampons, a pair of sweat pants, painkillers and panties in my size, bringing them out to me and helping me to the bathroom to change. Blood had soaked through to my leggings but only barely.

No one told me how painful it would be to finish a heat off with a cycle.

Thankfully i didnt ruin the seat. I was too emotional to be embarassed though. He said we needed to get out of there incase my pack came looking for us. Once we were on his territory, they wouldnt be able to cross.. not without his permission.

Despite being a beast of an Alpha, he's considerate.. helping me through this embarassing moment. I had already started to see the real wolf under that mask of broodiness.

That was a while ago.. before i began another round of gut wrenching lament of emotions. Conrad said the hormones didnt help the fact i was extra emotional but my friend was just murdered in front of me by my mate... how does that not take the cake on emotional distress?

This was by far the worst day of my life. Deacon is gone.. just like that. He never even did anything wrong. Not purposefully. I tried so hard to save him.. all my efforts for nothing.

He was my best friend since childhood.

We shared all our secrets together..

And now hes just... gone.

Zaryn would be put to death for this. And even that thought tore into me. These complicated feelings are the worst to deal with. I felt like dying inside.

That empty numbness enveloped my body as my puffy eyes watched the stars twinkle above. The hole in my chest hurt for my loss... even saying goodbye to Zaryn hurt until he did what he did. Now im glad to be rid of him forever even if ill miss him..

Ill never go back.

We almost made it too... almost. Deacon would have been home free had Conrad not slowed down....

But he did.

And Zaryn attacked.

There was something different about him tonight.. his wolf seemed to take possesion of his skin too easily.. as if he couldn't control it .. like he was beastly. Dominant. More than i have ever seen.. but why kill his own brother?? Just because he wanted to hurt me i think.. that and the jealousy.. thats all i can think of.

Despite the bonds walls being closed.. i could still feel Zaryn only slightly because his wall was down... regret and sorrow. I should let him feel mine. See what he has done to me.. but i didnt want to open those walls back up... i didnt want to feel his full emotions. His thoughts. It seemed like the further we drove, the more our newly formed mate bond seemed to wither.. like a bad wifi signal.

I hope i never feel him again. I hate him. He's a monster.

My wolf on the otherhand... she missed him already but understood what he did and shes pissed.. shes mourning her pack member. Her friend. But with all he has done.. she missed her mate.

My Disgust was flung toward her corner of my mind at which she whimpered at.

She cried, whining out upon the moment we realized we werent pregnant.

We dont want that monster.

"How ya feeling?" Conrads deep voice broke the string of silence, my red rimmed eyes peering up at him as that dead feeling settled within me.

"I feel sad. Numb. Dead inside. Happy to be away from that psyco. I regret this mark." I moved my hair for him to see.. my wolf growling at my words inside my head. "My mate is a delusional monster." My words were weak but i immediately felt a pang in my chest when i said them..

The cramps in my abdomen were nothing compared to how my soul felt.

His hands grippes the steering wheel.. pain in his eyes as they stared off into the open road ahead. "Nova.. everything happens for a reason. Deacon died for a purpose. The moon doesnt make mistakes." He spoke softly... as if he was remembering his own loss..

Instantly, anger pulsed through me and I snapped my eyes to him, glaring. "What purpose would his death serve? He was a good wolf!" Outrage.

Conrad's midnight blue eyes met mine before shifting back to the dark road ahead. "He didn't smell right Nova. I recall the same scent once..

The previous Dark Moon alpha, Maximus smelled that way when he went into one of his crazes. Sickly." A snarl on his lips as he remembered.

A growl verberated from my chest as my eyes flashed. My wolf nor i liked his insuations.

Conrad turned, a deeper growl coming out, flashing his teeth. "Dont forget who the Alpha is little wolf. You can get out and walk back to your pack if you don't like the truth. I didnt sign up for your drama and im not one of those weak Alphas you were raised with. I wont allow any wolf to growl my way with a challenge.. no matter if you're hormonal or not. Female or not." His tone was snappy, his wolf not liking the way mine reacted.

She slinked back in my head at his words.. my own eyes downcasting to my lap. "Im sorry.. im just..mourning"

A comfortable silence fell over us as the truck sped onwards.. no words. No music. Just my thoughts and my pain to keep me company.

Conrad is a true Alpha. Not like Blake. With Blake i was able to do as i pleased.. mainly because he was like an uncle. Conrad was so much more. But why would he say that about Deacon?

"Were here." He mumbled gruffly.

Relief spread through me. We were pulling onto a graveled driveway which seemed to go on forever. I sighed. Then out of nowhere, a sharp pain stabbed in my chest and on the mark of my neck.. my wrist feeling on fire.

"Ahhh" i screamed out, doubling over in pain. I could feel so much pain...

"Whats wrong?" Conrad glanced at me worriedly as he parked the truck. My wolf was whining inside.. desperately.

"My chest!" I panicked. "Something is stabbing me! I feel it on my mark.. my wrist too." I panted, flinched as i whimpered curled in the seat.

Silence.

"Its the mate bond." Grim words as He turned the ignition off and got out, coming to my side to pull me out of the truck and into his arms as i screamed out in agony. I could feel him walking up stairs as i bounced in his arms, shutting my eyes and gritting my teeth from the pain.

He stepped through a door that was already being pulled open by someone. I peeked my eyes open, my arms folding around my midsection as we hurriedly passed wolves who looked at us .. at me. With wide eyes.

I kept my mouth shut, gritting my teeth in pain as he raced up a set of stairs with me.. feeling his skin hot beneath his shirt on my cheek. I could do nothing but concentrate on the pain. It felt as if I were dying.

Ive been dying a million deaths

My heart, if it ever existed.. had never been in this much pain. My soul had never felt so dead as much as it did in this moment. I felt weak.

I was being gently placed on a bed moments later and a whimper broke through.. my eyes shut tight. "What did you mean it was the mate bond." I gritted through my jaw, clenched in pain.

I felt a dip on the bed next to my curled form. A moment of silence that seemed to go on forever until his barritone voice said, "The bond is suffering because your mate is harmed. You are feeling his pain and the pain of the bond dying." Sadness in his words. "Its gona hurt.. but not as bad as it would if you two had been bonded longer. You wont go isane.. but it will hurt. "

Confusion settled over me as a wave of agony ran through me at the same time.. my muscles tensing with a groan.

Why would the bond die just from Zaryn being physically harmed? "What do you mean?" I croaked

He peered down as i opened my eyes..a defeated look in his. "Zaryn is dying."

My eyes felt as if they would bulge out of their sockets.. my wolf howling in pain as she collapsed in my mind.. the blank hole where my heart used to reside, pierced.

Dying? How? He would have to go through trials first, for killing Deacon ..

It meant someone was hurting him..

Before i could feel anything about it emotionally, an incredibly strong pain , stronger than the previous bouts of pain, shot through me touching every nerve ending in my body.. A heart attack. My entire right side going numb.

i was met with blackness.. a dark abyss swallowing me whole before i could even speak, the pain too much for me to handle.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

I jolted awake, sitting up in bed as if something had shocked me. Hands.... frantically searching for the pain that consumed me like wildfire when i had passed out.

It was gone.

Glancing around, i noticed sun streaming through the windows.. it was daytime. I must had slept all night. Then my eyes registered the room i was in.....realising i wasn't in my bed, my eyes flit from object to object.. deep reds and blacks.. the scent of ash mint and a morrocan cologne..

Lips parted in surprise when i registered that i was in Conrad's room.. the events that happened last night returning fresh in my mind. i threw the covers off, scrambling out of the bed. Packets of herbs that had laid on my skin all over my body went flying as my legs tangled in the sheets and i was falling... squealing out as my aśs hit the hardwood floor.

Jerking myself upright, my pulse began to race as my mind kept replaying the memories from last night and a pain inside me caused my heart to ache. It was all real..

Zaryn... is he dead? Is it my fault?

Deacon... he is dead and that is my fault..

Tears blurred my eyes and i couldnt understand why. I was supposed to hate Zaryn for what he did... but no.. i was supposed to love him too. I still loved him because he was my mate, j couldn't control that. I didnt want him to die even though he did what he did... i hated him. But i loved him.

My lungs couldnt seem to get enough air as i paced the room.. A lump formed in my throat.. the tears streaming down my cheeks, hot.. hands clenching the material over my heart.. nails trying to claw at the skin. My wolf was silent.. did that mean he was...

Conrad came through the door just then with some sweet tea and pain killers. Turning to face him, i pled with him in my eyes to tell me it wasnt real...gazing at him with all the desperation i could muster.

His dark features were set in the grim line they usually were, he wasnt giving anything away.

"Here. Take some of these." He handed off the pills and the glass to me and i took the items with shaky hands... peering up at him.

He sighed, "He didn't die. He almost did... but he didnt. You'd have felt that. Youd have felt that for weeks." He strode past me, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

Hes still alive. Thats something right?

Taking a deep steadying breath, i took two capsules out and swalowed them down with the ice cold sweet tea.

I managed to calm myself. Sniffling, i took a seat beside him, fumbling with my fingers as my gaze stayed glued to my hands. "Thank you for everything. I know you didnt sign up for this but-"

"Its okay. I know how it feels to lose a mate.. " his dark eyes peered down at me, his size dwarfing mine next to me.. he was such a large man.

"Here." He pulled a sleek black cellphone out of his pocket. " Call your friend. I know you are dying to know what's happened. Go on. Ill be across the hall in my office. " he handed me the phone which i just looked at.

Did i want to know? It would be best if i didnt but my wolf... she was on the brink of insanity.

A rumble came through his chest. "Just take it." A command.

I jumped, not used to this kind of Alpha, instantly taking the phone, murmured a thank you as i stared at him.. his brows set in a hard line but his lips held a ghost of a smirk.

As he exited the room and left me to myself, shutting the door behind him.. i thought about how my wolf saw Conrad as a dominant Alpha. She bowed to him and she doesnt bow to many. Blake was never respectable enough but he was still the Alpha and we showed respect.. He was too weak in her eyes though but Conrad is much much more. My wolf acknowledged this.

My tears having subsided, i clicked the phone on, unsure of how this one worked.. cant be too far off from the one Eden has.. i only ever had a hand me down for emergencies.. i didnt really need one.

Figuring out the system, i dialed Edens number which i knew by heart... i bit my lip nervously as the phone rang.. praying she would pick up and sate my curiosity.

"Hello?"

I breathed a sigh of relief once she greeted me, confusion in her tone.

"Eden.. its me."

A gasp. "Oh my goddess Nova I've been so worried about you! Are you okay?"

"Yeah.. well.. no. I .. i felt something last night. Conrad said it was the bond dying.. is... is Zaryn ...?"

She let out a breath. "Nova theres a lot to tell you. A lot you dont know that i need to tell you. And Zaryn... he tried to kill himself last night. He slit his wrist.. but i came back and found him before he was gone completely.. he's alive.. in critical condition but he's alive." My heart hammered in my chest... my eyes pricking with tears once again.

"He tried to kill himself?" My voice was small.. shakey. A knot formed in my stomach.. that nauseous feeling i knew too well from axiety returning.

I couldn't picture it.. not Zaryn.

"Nova like i said.. there are things you dont know.. do you have a while? Because i need to tell you.. everything." She was so serious and I felt on edge with what she had told me.. could Zaryn felt so lost and alone that he tried to off himself? Was that it? Or was there something else?

"Yeah. I can talk. Tell me everything. "

••°••°••°••°••°••°

I sat on Conrad's bed.. my eyes swollen and puffy .. crying from the things eden had told me..

How? How could i not have seen anything? How could i have never known?

The ache in my soul only seemed to multiply the more i thought about it.

Staring at the door, i felt so numb .. shocked from all the details.. paralyzed.. how much more news could I take? How many more times could i be surprised? How much more hurt could my soul take?

I was becoming a shell.. a broken shell of who i once was. No longer strong.. i was weakened by my surroundings.. by knowlege.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

The door opened, shaking me out of my daze as Conrad stepped in looking me over, arms crossed over his broad chest.. his signature grim expression on his peculiarly handsome face. "You okay?"

That's what broke the dam.. the tears multiplied as my face scewed up and sobs wracked my body... my stomach vibrating with how hard i cried. "No! No im not o-okay!" My face fell into my hands.

I felt lost. Hopeless. Everything i knew was gone. It wasnt real.. my life has been a lie..

Conrad managed to calm me down after a moment of rubbing my back, letting me sob into his chest.. he was uncomfortable but he let me. He cleared the pack house out so I wouldn't feel embarassed over how emotional i had been.. i knew the whole house had heard me. .. his pack is different than ours. They are more wolf less human.. less human drama.

He took me outside to a garden in the side yard.. the sun shining bright over head yet obscured by the weeping willows around us..

a weeping willow. Thats what i feel like.

It was a secret garden.. you wouldn't know it was there if you couldnt find your way through the labrynth of tall flowereing shrubbery and trees.

Sitting in an ornate metal chair in front of a glass table, Conrad sitting across from me.. we stayed silent for a moment.. enjoying the sound of the small waterfall trickling into the koy pond not far from where we sat. It was beautiful but i couldn't enjoy the scenery because my mind was an ocean of thoughs.. waves of questions crashing on the shore of my mind.

"Tell me what happened Nova." Conrad seemed to look strange sitting at this table, his large size making it seem miniature somehow.. but his intent stare let me know he was genuinely concerned.

Inhaling deeply, i blew out slowly.. my swollen eyes met his.. swallowing hard.. "Zaryn tried to kill himself last night. He slit his wrist.." my bottom lip trembled.

His usual frown deepened.. bringing his hand up, he rubbed the beard of his goatee in thought.

"He is alive.. in critical conditon though." My stomach clenched, my wolf whimpering.. wanting us to go to our mate. "But thats not all. Deacon... the reason Zaryn killed him when he saw him wasnt out of jealousy or revenge. It was out of fear ... for me." Glancing down at my hands, i turned the emerald ring i always wore, round and round my finger as a distraction from looking into Conrad's intense stare.

"Deacon was sick.. you were right. He.. he was obsessed with me and i never knew.. He..." a tear escaped as i closed my eyes..

"he rejected his mate.. tortured and r-raped her .. beat her.. slit her throat when he found her." The tears just came flooding once i opened my eyes. My shoulders slumped, the fight had left my body.. there was nothing to fight for anymore.

Conrad pursed his lips, wheels behind his mind churning. Through my tears i managed to go on. "He rejected his mate and did those things to her because he wanted me. I never knew.. i never knew" i shook my head sadly. "And Blake.. Blake, Penelope, Zaryn.. they all knew he was born with an illness.. none of us ever did though. They found out about the other females.. but they were never harmed. So Blake didnt think he was so far gone.. he thought there was hope because of the way Deacon was with me. He thought i would be his mate and save him i guess.. Thats why Zaryn never wanted me around Deacon. I always wondered why he would make sure we werent alone when we were kids. Zaryn was under alpha command not to say a word when Deacon's mates body was found the night Deacon attacked me... Blake knew and he was going to cover it up.." this angered me more now i thought about it. My tone turned to acid and my eyes narrowed on the glass table. "He knew after Deacon's punishment that challenges would come and that he would die that way. With honor. He didnt want to tarnish his family name." I spat. "Zaryn never wanted me to know because he knew it would ruin my memories.. but he knew his brother had to be put down. That there was no hope. He was too sick. Deacon tricked me.. made me believe that he would never do something like that to me if he wasnt poisoned! He had a shrine of my belongings! A shrine to me!" My hand smacked the table, angry at the person i thought i knew. He was a lie.

"Nova. " Conrad's deep voice brought me out of my thoughts. I snapped my eyes up to his, breathing heavily.. he was still deep in thought but the words he spoke next changed my life.

"It sounds like he was a sociopath.. with an obsession. He was born with that illness you said? Maximus.. the late Alpha of darkmoon was a sociopath as well. He was narcissitic. I remember the things he would do.. to me.. to his family.. his mate.. just out of pure entertainment.." his expression pained as he drifted into memories.

I sniffled as Conrad cleared his throat. "But Zaryn.. He only killed Deacon because he knew he had to.. to keep his mate safe. Any male would have done that for their mate. Me included. I wish i had done that to Maximus years ago.." His eyes met mine.. staring deeply at me and i felt a bit uncomfortable at the way he looked at me. I fidgeted a bit in my seat, looking away from him.

I couldn't fathom.. i still could never return to my mate.. not with everything that has happened... i would never return.. Not even if i wanted to, which i didnt. I couldn't just up and forgive him for what he has done anyway.. even if killing Deacon saved my life..

This was all too much..

Too much for my mind to process..

So many secrets and so many atrocities the moon was trying to bring forth. So many wolves who would feel her wrath. Would Zaryn be one of them? I hated him when i left. I still cant stand the thought of him but he tried to kill himself.. i dont know what he is thinking or going through but i know my leaving him made him snap. And i refuse to open the bonds mental blocks. I dont want to know what he is feeling..

I may sound cruel but when did he want to know about how i was doing? He, whether it was his wolf or not.. they chose to support Grace in everything. I was the one with the leftovers..

Eden said when she found him, he was trying to reach for a towel.. mumbling about his pup. The last moment of his life being drained, he remembered i could be pregnant and struggled to stop the flow. He didnt want his pup to grow up without a father...

It broke my heart.

He was going to take his life and that thought alone stopped him.

But eden would tell him i wasnt pregnant. She promised me that.

I couldnt

With all the emotions spiraling through me.. all the endless secrets and all my thoughts.. i cracked like an empty shell..

Tears streamed once again and my face scrunched up in agony from how my soul was feeling. "I cant.. i can't do this anymore!" I wailed.. sobbing as i collapsed out of my chair and onto the cement tiles.. pounding my fists into them, blood spattering the grey tiles.

"I cant do this!!!!" I screamed through my tears. Letting out a painful cry, i let myself fall onto my back and allowed the pain flow.. it was all i had now.

A growl followed by metal scraping against cement alerted me to Conrad's heavy steps and i watched as he came to me.. squatting over me as he gripped my shoulders and hauled me to an up right position. Shaking me with a fierce look upon his face.. his midnight eyes glaring into mine.

"Stop!!" He screamed in my face. I flinched from his tone.. but i stopped crying.

"I wont watch you feeling sorry for yourself!! Youre stronger than this! You need to get mad! Get mad at everyone who has done you wrong!!! Thats gonna be the only thing to save you!!!" His deep voice screaming out in my face. I stared at him wide eyed, unable to move. His hands gripped my shoulders harder.

"You arent going to throw a pity party for yourself! Not on my land!! If you want to play who has had the worst life I guarantee you my cards Will trump yours but you don't see me crying about it! Stop crying! Youre not a damsel in distress!" He shook me with each sentence like a rag doll. Something flashed over his eyes as they darted back and forth between each of mine. "You are capable of much more and i wont watch you be weak! Not here!" He let me go and i caught myself on my elbows before i could fall as he turned away from me.. chest heaving.

Anger coursed through me. He doesnt know how i feel! My wolf wanted to snap at him. She didn't like him talking to us that way.

But hes an Alpha.

I rose from the ground slowly, glaring at his back as i stepped forward. "You dont know how i feel!!" My words were yelled.

He whipped around to face me.. that agression still there. "Dont i? See. You're angry now arent you!? Stop being a cry baby and do something about your life!" He shouted. "Zaryn.. Deacon.. all of them! Stop worrying about it all! Let it go and do something about it!"

If looks could kill he would be six feet deep. "Your a male! You dont understand what its like because females feel more than males do! Ive been dealing with this shìt for months now!!" My hands fisted at my sides.

He stepped even closer.. his gaze like wild fire. "Thats bull and you know it! We feel! We are just expected to be the strong ones but you all should be the strong ones! You females push lives out of your bodies for goddess sake! He threw his hands up in the air. "Im tired of hearing that excuse! Where is the savage i heard so much about when i first came huh!? Where's the wolf that broke the arm of a pregnant female in a fit of rage!?!" More screaming.

"She's gone!" I yelled back up at him. My wolf's eyes flashing through.

"No!" He grabbed my shoulders again. "Shes in there and i wont let you keep her tied up in your sorrows! From now on, im going to train you to be a warrior. Im going to make sure your muscles are screaming so much everyday that you cant even find energy to cry! You wont know what tears are when im done with you!! And ill make sure you stay pissed off every day. Im going to bring that savage back out of you if it kills me because you arent a weak wolf!".

His passion in every word had my body reeling. Its as if something inside me snapped.. as if puzzle pieces clicked in place. My wolf cocked her head as she peered out at Conrad... her interest peeked.

Once he realised i wasn't going to say anything.. that all i was going to do was glare at him, he let me go.

"Now march upstairs. Take a shower. And meet me in the back yard in an hour!" Angry words made me even angrier... but that was an Alpha's command. He was my Alpha now. I couldnt disobey.

My lip curled but I showed no teeth as i gave him a death glare. "Then show me my room because im not sharing yours." I gritted out of a clenched jaw.

A ghost of a smile played at his lips but he never relented as he turned briskly, walking away and through the labrynth. I tried to keep up with him best i could.

Once he showed me my room, i did exactly as he commanded me.

I took a shower.

If only i knew how good he would make on his promise to make sure my muscles were screaming that I'd have no energy to cry anymore..

He was going to break my wolf .. make me stronger.

And i was going to let him if it meant i wouldn't have to hurt any longer.

Dun dun dun!

Wow this chapter had me like 😲 as i wrote it. I got really tired of her crying all the time but hey. What ya gonna do?

So Nova now knows the truth.. she is dying inside.. do you think she will feel bad for Zaryn? She still loves him even though she hates him. Weird combo but i personally know that feeling.

And Conrad.. hes so emotionless.. showing only anger bt he has been helpful to nova. At the end it gave me chills how angry he got. He wasnt goin to let her cry like a baby anymore. He is going to bring out her savage. Shes gonna be strong once again. *raises fist* female power! Whoo!

How do you like conrad for nova? Despite the age diff it's kinda hot. But ijs theres gonna be a surprise in that area.

Let me explain Conrad.. he sees Nova and is reminded of his mate.. the one he refused to reject. But he made her train to be stronger bc she was a weak wolf and he regrets it. Nova is a strong wolf so he knows this will help her rsther than hurt her. Conrad lives every day regretting his past with Cilla. We are about to find out how alike and how different they are soon. He wont let Nova waste away like cilla did. Nova sees him as her saving grace. A friend. But what does conrad see?

How do all of you feel about Zaryn now?

And Blake!? You guys are finally seeing how much blake did wrong all out of love. He put his family before the pack and thats not what leaders do.

Next chap is bsck at the pack.. havent decided who alls pov to do in one chapter but Zaryns will be apart of it. Who elses woukd you like to see?

The pack finds out about Blakes lies in the next and they are confronted.. nic and Zaryn do a little talking.. we see some news about Grace.. and Eden. Eden has news. I cant stop the plot twists idk whats wrong with me im goin crazy over here.

You guys tired of the plot twists? Bc i kinda am. Im ready for the moon to start righting wrongs. Its almost time for the characters to reap what they sow.. heal.. serve their time.. etc etc.

Heres a tidbit for you guys on how i wrote the last chapter... i wasnt originally going to make deacon like that but i was grumpy that day and i was mad at Nova for sneaking him out so i made him a sicko. Sometimes i add things in bc of my mood or bc im mad at a character. I did however pre decide he had killes his mate.i just added the extra. This story has added so many parts since it started.. u should see my notebook with the first draft in it lol.

I also originally was going to make conrad an old man but decided last minute he should be a dilf.that all the dads should be dilfs. It made it more intriguing. I keep having different ideas that pop up so i write them in but the story is planned till the end. I changed another part though for all you NEDEN (?) shippers... ill say only that! (I suck at ship bames

This story will be edited once its completed and im going to post a page that asks you what parts of the story do you think it could do without.