60. Realities (re-edit)

Chapter Soundtrack:

Hozier - Take Me To Church

This chapter is now edited :)

Here we are at ch. 60, where i was originally going to stop. But nah. Yall getting like 10 more chaps eeeek! Yay! Happy dance!

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Im posting a song for every

chapter and at the end.. ill post

a few epilogue POVs from our

mains. Along with a list

of Shatter's Soundtrack.. songs

from each ch. You could even

make your own playlist for it!

Hey theres some awesome

songs on these chapters you

have to admit,

thanks to my lovely

wattpad friends!

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This chapter is dedicated to QueenLibra- , one of my dedicated readers! Rasheda ;) she has a cameo in the next two chapters

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One week later

(From the same time period as the last two chapters.)

__________________

Zaryn

The stream of light through the window danced behind my closed lids. My eyes fluttered open, a hand going up behind me, snatching the curtains together overhead with a frown.

Ive been staying in the Alpha's suite of the pack house.. where i needed to be.

our family home is occupied at the moment anyway.

Every morning.. the only thing i could ever think of was the dream i had last week.. the one of Nova. Only.. she didnt actually look like the Nova i remember..

She was different.

But in a very very good way.

Sighing, ignoring my hard on that successfully made an appearance with every thought of her, i climbed out of bed.. stretching as I walked over to the tall mirror on the door of my new master suite.

I've grown so much in the past months.. not the same little pup i was once. Now im an Alpha. A true Alpha by blood and by title. My blue eyes, seeming even more blue than usual, traveled down the ripped muscles on my torso.. the scars that guided my path were deep. My wandering eyes stopped at the bulge in my boxer briefs.. thick with desire for a female that had no use for me any longer.

My mate.

Groaning, my hands raked through my hair as i closed my eyes. I've been restless without my mate.. the wolf in me is going bat shìt crazy and i cant stop my mind from heading that direction every moment of every day.. remembering the feel of her body, giving me problems all throughout the day.

I have more testosterone running through me now because of my wolf.. because of my title change. My body was becoming bigger.. everything was. The need for physical attention was driving me crazy.

The unmated females of the pack, looking at me with wandering eyes that said they wouldn't mind a night of passion..

But i crave my mate. Not them.

I wont choose another female because Nova would feel it and thats not what i want anyways. She has yet to be with another male.. i will show her the same respect. Im afraid she will eventually do it though. So afraid.

I dont want to feel that.

Im afraid of what ill do.. how crazy i will go.

With a sigh, i stepped away from the mirror, turning on my heel and headed to the ensuite to start up the shower.. my ritual to beginning my day.. with my own hand.

---

Once clean and fully dressed in dark denim and a longsleeved black thermal with black motorcycle boots, i made my way down to the dining hall for breakfast with the pack.

It was my duty to eat with them as a unit.. unlike my father used to do.

Although my wolf has been rabid in the past months.. my skin side catching up to him.. dominating him.. the agressiveness in me still at its peak.. i began to see that leading a pack of wolves was the way to calm me down slightly.. That my mind didnt have to be on my mate 24/7. Keeping these wolves in order was becoming a sort of distraction for my beastly side.

Gabriel works with me everyday still.. teaching me how to control the feral side i feel in my body.. how to control the need to snap the neck of any wolf who even looks at me sideways.

Im respected and feared now.

"Good morning Alpha." A female brushed past me, a lingering smile on her rose colored lips as eyes danced my way. I let a low warning growl tumble out of my chest with the narrowing of my eyes.. sending her scurrying off with shock written on her face as i came to the head of the main table.. taking my seat as the wooden legs scraped across the floor.

All eyes were on me and i had to control my beast from growling.. i didnt like being stared at.. it made me feel on edge. My eyes caught every wolf that dared to look my way, their gaze shifting downard in submission.  The wooden chair beneath me groaned amd creaked with the weight of muscle i had packed on.. bulked with hormones surging through me.

To my left, sat Jack.. still my Beta. I offered for him to continue his position until he felt the need to retire. He gladly accepted.. relieved not to have to work beside my father any longer.. i would have to get a new Beta in a few years though.

And to my right.. where my Luna would normally sit.. where Nova should be, sat Alpha Maxim. A visiting Alpha always gets the vacant head position as a guest.

I wonder what Nova would think, knowing shes a Luna now...

"Morning Alpha" Jacks gruff greeting as i picked a plate up, piling it high with sausage links, bacon, and eggs over medium.

I glanced, noticing he was in his usual stoic mood this morning. Has always been that way.

"Morning Beta Jack. Morning Alpha Maxim." I cut my eyes to the Alpha who was currently munching on a piece of bacon.. devious crystaline eyes glancing down the table, locked onto Eden who sat near the end as he smiled devilishly at her.. she rolled her eyes, but a playful smile graced her lips as she continued to fill her belly with food for the future growing within. A little Alpha.

"Morning Alpha X." He replied, not looking my way.

My face contorted into confusion. "Alpha X?"

Maxim turned to me with a smirk.. his large frame towering over his plate that seemed so small. "Yes. Alpha X. I was giving it some thought... " he cleared his through, a seriousness overtaking him as those crystal blue eyes met mine. "Alpha Zaryn sounds just as sissy as Alpha Blake does." He held in a chuckle.. "youve changed so much.. so your name should too. To sound more like the new you. X, also sounds like a Z occasionally so therefore.. Alpha X. Its intimidating.. it's cool. Youre welcome. Ill spread the word so you dont seem like a cocky arrogant jack ass, dont worry." He winked, chuckling to himself as i just shook my head.

"Idiot" jack breathed next to me as he fixed up his coffee.

Maxim straightened, his eyes glaring over at Jack. "What was that Beta wolf? Is someone a little sour their son isnt the Alpha? Oh wait. He's Blakes son too." A sly smirk played on his lips as Jacks head shot up, a menacing glare on his angular features.

I let out a growl.. perturbed as i narrowed my gaze between the two. I couldn't deal with their bickering this morning.

Jack was actually lucky that Maxim respected Dahlia or she would have a dead mate already. I have learned he acts first, asks questions later.

"Enough" i snapped, my tone deep and unyeilding. "We need to discuss Grace's escape." My new Alpha voice silenced the table just as Gabriel waltzed in with a splitting grin on his face, taking his seat next to Alpha Maxim. He seemed to have a swagger in his step this morning... the mate mark on his neck already a week old.

He wasted no time in forging the mate bond with Penelope. She's no longer a mother to me.

Maxim glanced up at him, the infamous smirk on his face just as Gabriel took his seat. "Wheres the ole ball and chain?" He mused.

Gabriel's eyes flashed over to me.. looking for approval for his words. i shrugged in indifference before he smirked enough to show teeth.. eyes flashing, "shes a little.. tied up at the moment." He winked at Maxim.

I held my hand up. "I want to keep my breakfast down. Please." A deep scowl that seemed to always grace my features returned with vengeance.

Tilting my head to the side, "So. Grace. She was discovered by you, Jack, when Nic felt his bond on her skin side begin to die away. correct? And what was your conclusion." I peered at him, business like as usual. I needed these wolves to take me seriously.

Grace had broken out that night of the challenges.. we have put the subject off for a while because it didnt seem to be my number one priority. She was gone. It wasnt my problem. I never put her up in that cabin.. dad did. But the fact that Nic was going through some type of craze without her was a problem.

He was dealing with emotions of the pup in Edens belly driving his wolf to be all protective like mine once was.. only i didnt start so early in the game. Nic seemed to have a double dose of it.. but afterall, he is the firstborn son. But the losing of his mate was causing his wolf to lash out. Another cycle of what i went through.. of what Gabriel went through. I wont let it come to that.

"Well.. the entire door was ripped off the hinges. From the outside." Jack replied gruffly, wiping his mouth with a napkin.. his sage green eyes met mine.. "I believe it was Conrad."

My frown set in even more. "Why"

He sighed, "i questioned everyone close to her.. Eden." He glanced down to the end of the table. "Shes talked to her a few times. She said earlier that day she had given Nova a run down of what had been going on with Grace.. said that Nova also freaked out at the end and had to go.. im guessing she told Conrad and he decided to get her back." He peered at me with a knowing glance as i visibly shivered when he said my mates name.

Nova.

So Nova.. my mate.. the crescent packs estranged Luna. She seems too deep in with the enemy for my liking.. something doesnt feel right. I wonder if she asked about me when she talked with Eden? Did she even care?

Clearing my throat, i glanced around at the wolves around me.. a sudden anger coursing through my veins. My wolf, whining inside my head .. his eyes switching between despair and anger before growling out his frustration to me.

He wants his mate.

As do i...

But im not going to chase her down. She left me. And this pack needs me now.. if Eden talks to her, she would have her number but i refuse to sound like a desperate little pup. No. The only way to get her back is to invent a way to force her to come back.. to see the new me.

I made a mental note to be sure to command everyone Nova speaks to, not to tell her im the Alpha now. I want her to be surprised the next time she steps foot on this soil. And there will be a next time. Ill make sure of it.

I shrugged, "Well. Grace being gone is just less problems for me but.. my brother is going nuts without her so we need to figure out a plan." My deep voice had Gabriel and Maxim looking up at me before smirking at each other.

I rose a brow. "What"

A sly grin appeared on Gabriels face. "That Alpha.. Conrad. I owe him a little something.. after all. Ive never gotten retribution for him treating my sister the way he did... his own mate. Maxim here cant do anything since they are of relations but.. you.. you could." He leaned in seeming excited.

I rose my brow once more. "Oh no. No no no. No wars unless necessary." I shook my head, Jack nodding with approval.

Maxim rose his brows. "Conrad does have your mate, kid."

A low rumble came from Jack.. his brows furrowed in anger. "My daughter went of her own free will. Leave her out of this."

Side glancing him, i felt put off. She is still my mate.

Maxim voiced my thoughts exactly as he sneered at the beta, "shes also this packs Luna, Jack. At least one of your kids got it right! Wouldn't your wolf be so proud to tell everyone his daughter is a Luna?" A knowing smirk.

Jack seemed to think on this before shaking his head in aggravation. "No.  I want her happy." His eyes cut to me, an unamused look on his grim features.

I leaned back in my chair sighing.

This was going to be a long day.

------

After breakfast, Maxim, Jack and myself met in my office to discuss some pack issues.

I held the meeting a few days ago with the entire pack.. letting them know the new rules. Rules which Maxim helped me to make. Ones i didnt exactly follow along, but tweaked to make them my own..

One of which, i decided to keep the rule about no sex between unmated wolves in the pack. Keeps unwanted births under control and keeps wolves searching for their mates..

The other.. if any challenge was insued on another wolf for title.. that wolf had a choice. To kill.. or to make submit. The option would be open. In maxims pack they kill. When Blake was Alpha, it was submission. Now theres a choice. I would always pick the former. No submission on the table when it comes to challenging me.

We also drew up plans to initiate warrior training. From now on, all females would be allowed to train as warriors. Infact, they would all have to train to at least fight to protect themselves for at least two years after shifting. But the warrior option was open to those who wanted it. New laws. The pack liked that idea. They were on board with most of my ideas aside from killing during a challenge.

It wasnt up for debate though.

I was feared now.

But i was also respected because i was doing something with this pack.

Once Maxim and I had finished working with Jack to initiate more pack laws... and banish some old ones.. it was time for my training.

I still met with Gabriel every day out on the training field.. only now, i didnt have to hide from the pack. Now they could see what I was about.

Feeling the cool air rush past me, the sun shining bright over head.. i peeled my shirt over my body, throwing it to the ground.. the cool air no longer hindered my fighting abilities. I relied on my wolf.

"X man!" Gabriel chuckled deeply as he sauntered over to me in his usual good mood as of late..

I grumbled at that. Alpha X?

A bit ridiculous.

"Is Maxim serious with that whole Alpha X thing?" I rose a brow as we moved down to the ground to warm up.

Gabriel attempted to hold back a smirk.. his dark eyes glinting with amusement. "He has already called his allying packs, letting them know of the infamous Alpha X who now holds title of crescent moon." A laugh left his lips as i rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"Great."

I guess now im Alpha X. Nova will find that hilarious considering when she was a pup, she would spell my name with an X instead of a Z until i had to tell her it was wrong, to which she blushed furiously in embarassment.

Doing my pushups, lost in thought.. i let my eyes wander up at the training field before me.. I had to appoint two more Generals since we had so many wolves who had never trained.. now the field was full with males and females alike.. the generals testing each wolf to see what their strengths were.

Eyes would find mine .. curiosity in them. I didnt like being looked at. My wolf didnt like it either. I felt cagey when that happened but i had to remember the dominace i gave off would bring forth curious glances.. i was their Alpha now.

My attention was caught by one wolf who worked out alone.. fighting with a punching bag.. heavy fists beating into the material with bare skin.

My father.

"When did Blake come out of hiding?" I turned my head to Gabriel who was on his 40th pushup.. not even breaking a sweat.

"Yesterday." He mused.. a smile playing on his lips.

My cold stare watched as Dad rammed his fists into the punching bag as hard as he could.. angry at himself for how things have turned.

He was healed now. Isolated from the pack aside from training. Living across the lake in my old cabin... away from everyone. Giving him a dose of his own medicine. I hadnt talked to him but i know the mate bond with Penelope, disappearing had to be painful. But he had grown soft. Too soft. Its funny.. he forced his own son to reject his mate, locking her in a cabin away from pack life.. now he is isolated in a cabin of his own.. no bond with any female. The Moon getting her justice. But since he was so weak, I made him train again.. starting all over to make him a better wolf. Those were my orders i gave him .. to begin training once he was fully healed.

A pup teaching his father.

He needed to earn his respect again. Even then, it would only be as my father. No other title.

I watched as males passed dad, agression all over them as they snarled his way. He has been punished.. but the pack still hates him for what he did.

"Hey X." Gabriel called from my right. I felt my brows furrow at the name, tilting my head as i kept on with my pushups. "I just wanted to tell you.. you did the right thing with your dad. I know you are thinking about it but everyone got what they deserved that night..."

A scoff left my lips. "Youre only saying thay because you got Penelope. " i paused.. pulling myself up off the ground as i picked up a weight bar, ready to do squats before we sparred.

"No im serious." Gabriel grabbed the bar, forcing my gaze to his. "I think you're good for this pack. You're  strong now. They see it. The pack. I think youre going to be just what they need and i think all of them are going to be just what your wolf needs.. to keep you calm until you get your mate back. You're respected. By myself and Maxim as well. It takes balls to do what you did, kid." He smirked.

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders at his words.

Could he be right? Would this pack.. leading this pack, be enough to keep my sanity?

As if sensing my thoughts.. Dad turned his head from across the field.. his stony gaze locking with mine before going back to his task at trying to punch the bag apart.

"Fùçk this. Lets fight." I threw the weight bar down, the metal thumping hard onto the dying grass, feeling the sudden urge to let out some pent up agression.

Earning title hadnt gone to my head just yet. I felt uneasy with all these wolves watching me. I just wanted to take their eyes out.. my wolf was still a rabid thing but i could slowly feel myself clicking back into place. Little by little.

I wont be normal until i have my mate though.

---------

_____________________________

Gabriel

Hot and sweaty, i ran up the steps to Blake's old family home.. Zaryn, or should i say, X, was letting me stay here with Penelope now... until the two months were up on helping X out.. then i would take her home with me to Dark moon.

The little shìt managed to kick my àss today during training. Two months. Two damn months and ive created a monster. Hell, what he did to his parents was even harsh but i wasnt going to argue with him on that. I finally got what i wanted.

Revenge.

X allowed me to take his mom, my rightful mate.. unbinding the bond she had with Blake.. a wolf she didn't even care about. It was sad. I felt for the poor male.

Shes always been a snake in the grass.

"Honey, im home!" I chuckled darkly as i sauntered into the house, a giant grin on my face as i ran up the stairs and into the master suite..

The sight before me had my wolf purring in delight. My mate. All tied up for me.. her legs wide at each post.. arms too.

The night of the challenges, i took her home and never let her out of my sight since. Initially i wanted to be a ruthless mean bastard to her.. treat her horribly without harming her.. degrade her.. but once she felt the pain over losing her bond with Blake and we formed our rightful bond.. my views changed.

I still wanted to teach her a lesson, dont get me wrong.

But i also wanted to show her how much more i am now.

Stripping off my clothes, i didnt even bother to take a shower... my body covered in sweat, dirt and blood from the gashes and bruises forming on my body and face.  Her blindfold was securely in place.. the bandana wrapped around her mouth.

Climbing on top of her naked body, she began to thrash around .. the best she could considering she was tied up. Silent screams came from her as a deep chuckle left my lips.. pulling the blind fold from her eyes.

Those serpents crystal blue eyes glared at me.. cold and hard. Not bothering to take her gag out, i smirked down at her as my body sunk between her slim legs. Her muffled yells turned to moans as i rubbed myself between her thighs.. letting the sweat on my body roll onto her skin.. my blood smearing over the creamy flesh.

I could feel her pleasure, as we have completed the mate bond.. i forced her into her wolf form the first night, making her mark mine as i marked hers.

Now here we are.

My hands rubbed up her milky thighs achingly slow as my tongue trailed a hot line up her neck.. all the way to her ear as i whispered..  "your son is making one fine Alpha, princess. He's becoming the perfect prodigy." I chuckled against her skin, feeling she was ready for me for the third time today, i entered her without even a word to warn her.. catching her off guard as she bowed her back up off the bed.

I was always relentless with her.. giving her much more than she had ever had in her life..

Taking her gag out of her mouth, screams filled the air along with the sound of skin slapping against skin as i forced her to take all i had. And she took it willingly.

Theres never the word 'no' in a mate bond. One can always turn the other on, making them want what they want.

"Dont forget Nelly." I grinned down at her, using her nickname i had given her when we were just pups.. speaking between pounds against her skin. "We have twenty two years of this to makeup for." I winked as her eyes rolled to the back of her head in excstacy and exhaustion.

------

Stepping out of the shower with my mate in tow, steam billowed through the room. I pulled Penelope along behind me.. drying her body off with the towel as her crystal eyes watched me.. not a word spoken.

She knew i wouldnt take well to her denying me.

I came to her round globes.. taking my time with drying them before my lips pressed against the flesh, sucking the peak between my lips as i watched her wither slightly. A chuckle left me, standing up straight. I brushed her wet hair back from her face, looking at her.

"You still look as pretty as the day you rejected me." I told her, my tongue licking up her cheek. Theres no way i could bring myself to kiss her yet. Not until i had pushed my scent into every area of her body.. getting rid of Blakes. Although Blake hadnt been with her in some time.. i could tell by the way she smelled inside.

She leaned away from me, a disgusted look on her face. I let my wolf out.. teeth sliding forth.. sinking them into her mark again.. letting her know who the wolf in charge was.

Being rejected by a female for another male with title hurts.. especially when you were that females first and she was yours. She wanted me in the get go.. until Nyra died and she realised power was just at the tip of her pretty fingers.

I should of marked her the night we had sèx all those years ago..

She was still latched to me by my teeth.. withering against me like a frail flower. Picking her up, my arm under her aśş, her legs going around me to keep from falling, i removed my teeth.. taking her to the bed to lie her down and change her.

Under no circumstances was she allowed to do anything herself. That was her punishment. I was her mate. Her master now. She wore what i wanted her to. She sat where i led her. She ate what i gave her. And until she became the wolf i knew she could be.. it would stay that way.

Being bonded now, my original want to humiliate her by making her watch me with other females was long gone. I couldn't do that anymore. My wolf wouldnt let me. We were bonded now.

Once i dressed her in a long sleeved dress the went down to her ankles, covering all of her skin from every viewing eye.. i dressed myself then sat her up as a tear rolled down her cheek. A tinge of guilt crept inside of me but i swatted it away.

"Aww honey. Dont cry. " i trailed my finger up her cheek, chasing the tear before tasting it.

"Were going to have a lovely night tonight." I smirked.. taking her hair in my hands and tying it up in a loose bun so everyone could see the red mark she wore on her bare neck. I pressed my lips to the mark earning a shiver from her before hauling her up. "Come. The pack is waiting for you to make your first debut as my mate."

I slapped her ass at which she winced. I cringed.. "sorry. Forgot youre probably still sore there too." I rubbed her back soothingly as i helped her descend the stairs.

She doesnt speak much since the first few nights she screamed her rage at me..  but she loves when i take her.. i can read her thoughts and feelings now. My wolf needed to rub his scent everywhere. Her ass included.. she liked it a lot.. those muffled screams into the pillow could attest to that.

She belonged to me now. I would train her to be a caring mate.

____________________________

Conrad's Pack:

( Same time frame as the above setting)

Nova

An emptiness inside me that swallows me whole.. one i hadnt felt in so long..

Its been one week since I have talked to Conrad. One long week.

I see him occasionally coming out of Grace's room, which is next to mine. Only the three of us are up here on the highest floor. He's been so busy with her as of late that he has no time for me anymore.

Story of my life.

Well what did you expect.

After the conversation we had... that night he told me he wanted me but i told him that i couldn't do that..he said that i had been leading him on without knowing... because im so naive.. that he didnt say anything because he was waiting to see what my feelings for him were.. he knows now.. so that's why he took it upon himself to tell me. To tell me that we couldn't be how we were if i didnt want to cross the friendship line.

It hurts.

I see him as my mentor.. my best friend. My confidant. And now things are different between us. I dont think Grace being here is the only reason.. i think its because i made him sad.. i gave him hope unknowingly then i took it away.

I cant help but to feel bad but those are my feelings. I have a mate.

I miss Conrad though. I miss our talks.. i miss just being around him. But i wont lead him on just so i can have my friendship back with him.

Sweat dripped down my face with every punch i landed to my opponent. Another female from the beginners unit. With a grim face, beaten and bruised, i continue to punch.. letting my skin side dominate as i sat ontop of her.

The sun beat down overhead but the cool air blowing lessened the intensity. One more hit to the temple and she was out.

I have done nothing but train all week. Without Conrad.

The pack noticed we hadnt been hanging out as much and something in them decided they would test me.. no more being protected on the training feild... except by General Axe but even he wanted to see what i was made of. I have made friends here. But there are some who are jealous of my friendship with Conrad.. Green with envy at how quickly i have started climbing the ladder of being a warrior.

The female warriors wanted a taste but General Axe wouldn't allow any female but the beginners unit to fight with me. The males wanted their chance.. but Axe wouldnt allow it. Not until im intermediate. Conrad only ever let me have two fights per day.

But he wasnt here.

This was my last one of the day. My fifth. Three more opponents than usual.

The female lay on the ground beneath me.. both our blood spattered all over the dusty earth. She groaned as she rolled to the side.. revealing the damage done to her face... by my fists which had missing skin.. cuts.. gashes from teeth. I had been fighting the last two with a broken rib jabbing into me. Its the sixth time ive broken one.

"Alright Nova. Another win! Thats the last one of the day." General Axel chuckled as I stepped through the ring of wolves, eyeing me with contemp.. wanting to show me i couldnt win everytime. My wolf no longer puffed up with pride. We were both just... angry inside.

Axe grinned at me, his white teeth showing. "The way you're going, youll be in intermediate before the month is up.. I'll be impressed if that happens." He chuckled, handing me a towel.

With a tight lipped smile, "thanks general."

Not bothering to stick around to see the other wolves eye me, i headed toward the pack house.. my face stinging as sweat dripped down into the cuts as the cool air whipped past me. This week without Conrad has been difficult. I was so used to our routine.. and now i dont even see him anymore. Ive dove into training by myself. Damon and Alexa train with me but both of them are still salty over the fact my wolf put them in their place the night of the full moon run.

They understood what their wolves did wrong but it didnt stop them from being aggrivated. Afterall... my wolf did dominate Alexa's and shes supposed to be better than me.

It seemed like my life i was beginning to love was coming to a hault. I cant ever have something and continue to enjoy it. Something always happens to turn my life upside down. Theres never a constant.

Making my way up the back stairs of the pack house, i could feel my bones aching with each step. I felt the bruises blossoming up on my features and my rib sticking with every step. It hurt. It was painful.

It felt good.

I liked the pain.

I made my way inside and up the stairs, headed to my room. Once i was almost at my door, i stopped dead in my tracks to see Conrad.. slipping out of Grace's room. My eyes stayed glued to his broad muscled form as he turned.. his midnight eyes widening upon seeing my face before his gaze narrowed.

"Jesus Nova, what the hell have you been doing?" He strode up to me, hands holding my face gently as he tilted my head back then side to side.. assessing me. His brows furrowed as he did this, towering over my 5'6 height.

Shrugging lightly, "Training. I had five females today."

A sudden irritation came over him as he peered down at me. "You are only supposed to have two Nova."

My brow rose. How dare he... "yeah well... the pack senses a change in our.. friendship. You have had your hands full and they think something is up so.. now since you arent there to forbid anyone else from fighting me.. they all want a piece. Dont worry. Gneral Axe handles it well.. he only lets me have five rounds. I havent lost yet I'll be okay." I replied, watching as his frown deepened.

He let out a sigh, dropping his hands. "Im sorry. I know i havent been ... available lately. "

I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. "Its okay. I know Grace needs your attention."

Which was true.. only the time he hasnt been with Grace, he's been locked up in his room.. making excuses as to why he couldn't come to dinner

A curt nod, eyes shifting around, "Yes. Grace does need the extra help Nova... you should go to her.. talk some more. She enjoys when you come by.." he suggested lightly but the look in his eyes were pleading.

I sighed, "fine."  I had been visiting her daily anyway.

He smiled broadly, patting my shoulder as some sort of a thank you before turning to go to his room but i grabbed his arm, pulling him back as he eyed me curiously.

I needed to know.

"Conrad.." my green eyes found his.. something not right with how he was acting. My gaze narrowed on him slightly. "Is.. is something wrong? I mean.. " my gaze adverted his, "ever since our conversation you've been... distant." I peered back up through swollen lids.

Sighing, he rolled his eyes. "Not everything is about you Nova. And im fine. Really." I stepped back, my face scrunching in a long look of outrage and confusion.

"Seriously Conrad? You're deflecting!" My orbs widened accusingly.

He shook his head, avoiding my stare, "im just... going through some things ok? Im sorry i havent been around but.. i just need some time to sort things out with Grace.." he finally looked at me.. his tall body towering over me.. i could see a few salt coloured hairs peeking out of his goatee and it made me realise how much he had on his plate.. still so young in Alpha years.... yet aging at the same time. Im silly for bringing teenage problems to his table.

With a nod, i gave him a tight lipped smile, "Okay. Just..." i grabbed his wrist., "please dont run from me..if you need to talk.. im here."

"Okay." He smiled, patting my hand before walking off to his room. Once he opened the door, the smell of a female wafted out into the hallway as he slid inside, closing the door behind him.

I stood there.. my eyes widening with realisation...

That lying Alpha ass has been hanging with another female.

Jealousy rippled through me.. but not one for his love.. but for his time. I was his female friend.. i thought we were good friends.. and now hes lying to me.. having someone else by his side to possibly talk to.. or maybe it was just to sleep with..

Had my admission been such a devastation that he sought someone out?

Shaking my head, i ran into my room, slamming the door behind me as i paced.

No.. no i can't think of myself. Its not because of what i said.. its because hes male.. and he's stressed. He's right. Im making it all about me.

Suddenly my features scrunched. "No im not.." i whispered aloud. He really is deflecting his problems on something else. I look like his dead mate for crying out loud.. of course i hurt his feelings...

Surely he hasnt replaced me with someone else..

I was just feeling like we were all a family with the pack. I dont want this to go away... i needee his guidance.. his comfort.. i needed some sort of deep friendship like the one we had a few weeks ago.. it seemed like things were falling apart now.

Im being selfish..

Stripping myself of my blood stained clothes, i hopped in the shower, turning it on warm as i let the water rinse the blood from my wounds, stinging as i let the emotions come forth. Something i never let myself do anymore...

The first thing that came to my mind was Zaryn.

How the dream i had of him last week felt so real only it wasnt really him.. it was some figment on my imagination that my mind had come up with..

I couldn't deny i missed him... i missed his touch.

I dont know what's going to happen to me now that Conrad was avoiding me.. he was my savior.. it was he that pulled me through everything... saved me from myself.. helped me be a better wolf. What will i do without that security?

Letting the tears fall.. i came to the realisation that nothing ever lasts forever.

Thats just the way of life.

------

I decided after my shower that i really would go see Grace. She was going through a really hard time right now.. all the things she has lost.. the people....

Conrad was the only good thing to come back to her now. I honestly felt bad for her.

I felt like she has already served her punishment for what she did to me... but the moon wouldnt be done just yet..

Silently creeping out my door, i glanced at Conrads door.. my gaze narrowing to slits as i meandered next door to Grace's.. knocking lightly on the wooden frame.

"Come in." A soft voice called out from.the other side.

Taking a deep breath, i slowly opened the door, slipping inside before closing it.. my eyes wandering over the pink walls that i see on a daily basis... a white lace covered bed in the center of the room.

Grace was sitting on the seat of the bay window, looking out at the pond on the south east side of the house... her frail frame still just as small as the day she got here.. she hasnt improved much since day one.

"Hey." I breathed, coming closer.. seeing her dead eyes never wavering from the pond.. her blonde hair tied up messily atop her head.. sweat pants and a hoodie that were both swallowing her willowy frame making her seem extra small.

Once i found myself standing right in front of her body.. she turned to look up at me.. a sad smile pulling up at her lips as i took a seat beside her legs which were extended out along the length of the window seat.

"How are you feeling?" I coaxed, my hand rubbing her own skinny hand reassuringly. This female has endured enough.

Her eyes never met mine as they stay glued to the world outside.. storm clouds rolling in as the sun set on the horizon.. the pond off a little ways from the pack house reflected the multitude of colors from the sky. It seemed so peaceful.

I peered back down to Grace and watched as a lone tear ran down her sunken cheek.. her bottom lip chapped and trembling.

"Im dying inside." It was barely whispered..

I knew that feeling all too well. The feeling of dying..

My hand clenched hers, telling her to look at me and she did.. chocolate eyes reddened around the rims. "Whats going on in your head?" I pressed gently.

Shaking her head, she dropped her gaze to her lap. a sob coming from her mouth as she huddled into herself. "I miss him." Her voice cracked. "I find myself always thinking of him.. my wolf and i cant see what hes doing.. so its driving us mad with questions and assumptions.." her glassy tear stained face met mine and i realised something...

This was harder on her for one reason.. because she wasnt around her mate. She couldn't see what he was up to and her mind was making out the worst case scenarios. Me... well i was there. I watched. I saw. I knew for a fact that Zaryn hadnt spent alone time with Grace between the sheets but she doesnt. She wont feel that pain when a mate strays because she isnt fully bonded.

"Grace." My voice was soft.. my eyes softer. "My brother and Eden are just friends. They arent interested in one another.." i willed her to understand.

She wiped her face with her sleeve.. red puffy rimmed chocolate eyes staring up at me. "But they did it once. Who is to say they wont again..im going crazy with questions..."

This female has grown on me. She really wasn't as rotten as i once thought. Shes the prodigal of her environment... a witch half raised her for crying out loud along with a daddy who spoiled her and treated her like a fragile piece of glass. Thats not what she needed...

I finally realised what she needed. What has helped me. My eyes met hers.. my green against brown. Determination coursing through them. "You need to train, Grace. You need pain. The pain that training will bring. To get your mind off of everything."

Her brows rose in a submissive way. A look of hope. "That's what got you through? I thought... " her cheeks tinted pink, "i thought daddy got you through... i thought being by his side helped you.."

I let out a snort, shaking my head. "I thought so too.. and well.. he did.." my eyes became distant as i watched the pond she had been looking at. "But.. things change sometimes." My voice was weak.

Her eyes were burning a hole through the side of my face. "Youre good for him." She finally said after a moment.

Frowning, i met her stare.

Her blush deepend, "I mean.. i never saw him the way he was with you the first night i came.. i saw a connection.. i know.. you look like my mom... " her guilty expression turned down as she dropped her head. "But there was hope in his eyes that night.." glancing back up, "i saw hope in his eyes when he looked at you.."

Shaking my head, "Grace.. im mated. Your dad is way older than me and im a few years younger than even you. Hes my friend. Besides...." i grumbled the next, "hes been avoiding me.. spending time with another."

A low breath of laughter escaped her. "You mean Rasheda? Or.. Shae, .. she's only a friend with benefits to him.. apart of the pack. Shes no warrior though. they used to go to each other out of lonliness only on occasion. If hes with her now.. it wont last. Dad would never commit to her... and she wouldnt ever commit to him. They just... you know." She blushed immediately.

"Hook up?" I rose a brow to which she nodded.

Shae... shae.. i didnt know that name.. well.. i know her scent now from the opening of his room ...so i would find out eventually if hes too stubborn to tell me.

"Nova?" She spoke softly, her features soft as well. I peered at her.. "i know you have a mate.. and what not.. but i can see the way my dad looks at you. You look so much like mom and i know its unnerving but.. could you please comfort him the next few weeks? Hes going to need someone ..." her gaze turned back out to the pond. "I know you have Zaryn.. and he loves you like no one i have ever seen... but.. just please be there for my dad. Even as friends. Hes going to need you." She whispered.

Something about the way she said it made me frown.. it was as if she knew he was going to go through something  would happen.

Looking at the time, i realised i was going to be late for dinner.. "Grace. I gotta go. I will be there if your dad needs me, as his friend..  but i dont think he will anymore. Ive hurt him." My lips pursed, "But...  Please... just remember.." i locked onto her eyes as my hand rested on hers. "Please remember that you are who you need to worry about. Not nic. Not eden. You can get rid of your mark. I cant... feel lucky."

I rose from my seat, sending her a smile before heading to the door but she called my name. "Nova?"

Turning, i watched as those big brown eyes met mine with sincerity. "Thank you... for being the better wolf. Im.. im sorry for everything that happened" she dropped her stare, "and im thankful that youve given me another chance." The corner of her mouth rose slightly as i returned her smile.

"You're a good wolf in your heart Grace. You just have to learn to stand up for yourself. And please... start eating for your dads sake at least?"

She nodded. "Ill try." A soft whisper.

-----

This is Zoe Saldana who plays the part of Rasheda aka Shae.. Conrads fwb.. a cameo to my dear Reader Rasheda ;)

Nova contd..

I was the last one to enter the dining hall.. heading to my usual spot.. the one next to Conrad's seat at the head table.. the beta seat. One night i had sat at the luna position, it was awkward but it was only for celebratory reasons. Then he offered me to sit in his betas chair since he still didnt have one.. because we were friends. I didnt expect him at dinner tonight anyways since he hadnt been here all week.

But my oh my was i mistaken.

Conrad was there alright.. but at the Luna position to his left, there sat what i assumed to be Rasheda... or Shae.

a gorgeous female.. caramel skin.. jet black hair in loose curls down her back. She was about my height.. her black stilettos making her seem taller and her mile long legs seem longer as they crossed towards a laughing Conrad.. her body posturing towards him with intent to please.

Jealousy instantly overcame me as her honey colored eyes flecked with green, found Conrad.. a broad smile tugged her pouty red lips upwards.

I stood at the door, watching them interact with one another... all the other wolves sparing glances at them.. whispering.

She leaned over to him, her bright red painted lips whispering into his ear as he grinned.

The sight had my nails digging into my palm as i stood there with a beaten face, looking as if a truck ran me over while.. whoever she was, was looking radiantly beautiful..

I wasnt jealous of her possibly being his friend with benefits.. i was jealous of her taking my friend.. taking my spot as the one who made him laugh.

My features settled into a blank mask as her caramel hand went to his bicep, squeezing lightly as she postured herself toward him before glancing over at me with a polite smile. No animosity.

I walked into the dining hall, the conversations ceasing as i made my way to the other empty seat to his left. The betas seat. Sitting down, keeping my eyes downcast, i got a whiff of her scent.

That's the scent i caught earlier from his room.

Conrad seemed uncomfortable as he wrenched her hand off of him, lessening the rejection with a kiss to her palm. He smiled gently to which her own smile fell.. her honey eyes finding mine,Curiosity in them.

I took a deep breath, plastering a seemingly real smile on my lips as i peered up at Conrad. "You feeling any better? Seems like it." I implied which only he would understand.

Clearing his thraot once more, he smiled at me, nodding. "Thank you for seeing Grace again today."

I waved him off, "its no problem. Shes grown on me." My eyes roved up to find those honey colored ones across from me.. watching me intently.

"Hi" she smiled, her bright white teeth shining against the red of her lips.. a goddess esque aura coming from her. She looked too dolled up to be from here although Grace said she was.. id never seen her training. But Grace also said she wasnt a warrior. Who was she?

I returned her smile. "Hi. Im Nova. I dont think we've met." I cocked my head.

A blush came over her as she glanced at Conrad with a slight narrow of her eyes.. obviously perturbed he hadnt mentioned her to me. "Im Shae." She smiled again.

Frowning, "i recall your scent from Conrads room earlier but i cant place your face. Do you come to train with the warriors?" I knew she didn't..

Conrad coughed suddenly, his eyes scorching the side of my face but i remained impassive as she smirked. "No. I dont train.. im more of a... diva you could say." She laughed in a melodious way. Wiggling her manicured long red nails, "these babies are good for clawing backs" she winked. "So i like to keep them in good condition." Her pouty lips tugged upwards as she peered at Conrad, "right Conrad?"

Conrad..

Only i was ever allowed to call him that. My hands reached under the table.. sinking my nails into my thighs as i tried so hard to keep a smile plastered to my face.. forcing out a laugh.

I wouldn't seem like the jealous best friend.

My glare shot at Conrad though who seemed uncomfortable during the moment. Rising to my chair quickly, i smiled down at her. "It was nice to meet you...but i just remembered that i had an appointment with Gage at the tattoo shop! If you'll excuse me." I grinned.. my eyes lingering on Conrads before walking off toward the back door, my expression dropping to one of relentless agression.

I needed to shift.

But i needed to try to remain in control.. shift when im not so emotional. That's where i always messed up in the past. My wolf would react to the emotions my skin side was feeling... i have control now.

I burst out of the dining hall and into the cool dark night... my eyes wandered over the land, shrouded in darkness.. the moon glimmering over the pond's seemingly black waters. the one which Grace had been staring at all afternoon and i felt suddenly drawn to it.

The moon was full overhead.. shining down .. everything illuminated in a silver light. I crept through the trees that encased the small meadow.. just feet away from the pack house, coming to the edge of the pond..

It was beautiful.. so serene.. i could take a swim in this pond.. but the chill that the wind had brought with it made swimming a bad idea. The weather was too cool for that now.

The wind kicked up.. and something familiar was blown my way. A scent.

Grace's scent.

It was getting colder out. Theres no way she could possibly stand this weather in her condition.... being so frail and weak.. she couldn't be out here... but her scent was so strong.

Watching the trees for her, something caught my eye near waters edge on the opposite side.. a ways away from my current position.

A white billowy fabric.. glowing under the moonlight.. wisping and swaying with the wind.

It was another wolf.. and that fabric was a gown..

Briskly walking closer to the other side of the pond, through the sparse trees, i had a feeling that this was infact Grace standing by the ponds edge.

As i came closer, a realised i was right. Her blonde hair was blowing back with the breez, her pale features now visible under the silver light. My heart began to speed up.. a worry setting in my bones. She had no jacket on.. nothing to keep the chill from her skin. Just a simple white night gown.

With widened eyes, i watched as her foot dipped into the water. A dead look on her face. Shivering slightly, she stepped into the what i presume to be cold water.. her feet now covered by it. It was a sloping pond.. shallow end with sand that gradually increased to the deeper side.

I watched with anticipation, my movements toward her quickening as her feet stepped further out, the water covering her ankles.. followed by her calves, her knees as she kept walking forth into the blackness.

My mouth hung open. Eyes wide as she kept going. I felt my body lurch as i broke out into a run.. going to her without even kowing as she pushed off into the dark water... swimming forward before floating to her back. She was going to catch her death.

Once she did this, i paniced.. reaching the end she had carelessly waded into. it was too cold for her in that water. She would die in her condition.

"Grace!" I called out, my voice lost among the breeze.. the rustling of leaves.. the splashing of the pond at the shores edge.

She was on her back.. floating along as her eyes stared up at the moon.. lost. Her arms gracefully moving up and down as she bobbed atop the cool dark waters.

She didnt answer.. she couldnt hear me.

instead, i watched as she took a deep breath.. opening her mouth to release it before sinking herself under the waters surface.  Her entire body became submerged... purposefully.

I had a feeling she wasnt going to come back up.

My heart hammered in my chest and i did the only thing i could.

I ran towards the edge and pulled my shoes off.. hopping into the water..  colder than what i had initially assumed. My panic rose as i lunged, diving into the water head first..

Grace had a death wish. And i was remedying that tonight.

There would be no more of this.

Struggling against the cold prickling water.. i sunk myself to the bottom.. searching frantically.

This isnt how she would leave this world.

dun dun dun!

Wow sorry this chap sucked but ive been so sick blahh. The ending was supposed to be more powerful but i decided to continue on the next chapter with it.

Who saw conrad acting that way? Hes being a darn sissy now.

We havent seen the last of his dinnrr guest either. Rasheda aka Shae, the othrr pack member is a character from a real live reader! I added her in the story :D i needed someone anyways.

Also so oooh zaryn making his parents work for it! Wow the way he did his mom!

I can relate.

And wow Gabriel and Penny or nelly haha he's having too much fun.

The time for nova to dip is coming soon.

Maxim lovers dont fret. He is more in the story next chap! So is eden... i know u miss her

Xoxo

Chilee