72. United Front

Chapter Soundtrack:

James Young - I'll Be Good

Song selection by RosieToovey

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Zaryn

"Penelope? What are you doing here?" My eyes looked down on her petite frame incredulously.

My mother, stomach swollen only slightly with her current pregnancy, wandered in my room with a forlorn exoression. "Im still your mother, Zaryn." She rubbed her belly, taking a seat on a chair by the window. "You look so different. So handsome.. so tall and muscular. So much like the Alpha ive always known you could be" she smiled softly, patting her dark hair, up in her infamous chignon.

I just stared at her. I didnt want to do this right now. "Look, I-"

"Zaryn." She pled with her crystal blue eyes. "Please. Talk to me. Im your mother. I gave birth to you. You will always be my pup. Please." She held her hand out.

My gaze turned hard and cold as i strode forward. "I recall the night i won Alpha very well.. the night you disrespected my mate. Said she was a weak wolf and that you were rooting for Grace.. you are no mother of mine." I spat, feeling anger course through me like hot lava.

Her eyes began to blurr, a tear falling down her cheek. "Zaryn im sorry.. i didnt mean those things.. please. I was just.. angry. I didnt want to give up my position. I was scared. I want to be in your life. I don't deserve your forgiveness but please.  Just hear me out?

Sighing in defeat, i brushed past her ignoring her hand and sat on the chair opposite of her. "What do you want Penelope."

She gave me a sad smile. "I see you've finally gotten Nova to come around. She's changed so much.. so much stronger. I watched her grow at Dark Moon.. shes done a lot of changing..  you should be very proud of her."

Narrowing my gaze, "i am proud of her." My chest puffed up in pride over my prized and glorious female.. the only female to accomplish what she has done.

Penelope smiled again, "i know you are. Has she come around? Accepted you?"

I shook my head. "Not quite. I dont know what is going to happen in that area. But i dont wanna talk about that." I started to rise but she latched onto my arm.. tears in her eyes.

"Please just talk to me. Please." She sobbed.

Giving up, i relented.. Leaning back in my seat. "Fine." I huffed.

She smiled sadly, wiping her face. "Im sorry Zaryn. Im sorry for everything i have put you through. For everything i have put your father through. I-"

"Did you ever love him?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

She nodded solemnly. "I did. I still do. We just... grew apart. Our bond wasnt a true mate bond... but i did love him." She paused a moment.. thinking. "When i found out Nyra had died.. i had already met Gabriel.. we loved each other. But I couldnt be with him. He had no title. He was just a low level wolf. My father was a Beta. He expected better of me. So.. i went to Maximus and asked him to help me. Of course he wanted to help me because he didnt believe in the mate bond anyways and he wanted to make sure his family had strong blood ties. So he set up Blake and I's engagement." She had this far away look in her eyes.

"What about Gabriel." I voiced it without thinking what i was doing.. but i had wanted to know some things from her story.

A frown marred her features and her eyes watered even more. "I loved him. I did. I do. But... he wouldn't have brought my family honor. I never told him my plans to leave .. until the day Blake came for me. I left him with a note." She looked down at her lap ashamed.

A note...

"I was.. afraid. Afraid of crying. Afraid of seeing him cry. Afraid of feeling the bond and deciding to stay.. afraid he would fight Blake. I was just.. scared." She cried, her eyes now pouring out the emotion she felt.

I stared at her a moment. "And now you're suffering. The moon has put you in your rightful place." I felt no pity for her. She chose to end her mateship.

Nodding, she wiped her eyes. "I am where i need to be. Yes. Believe it or not... im ... happy? I loved your father. We got to know each other and I loved him. I love you and your brother.. so much.  And im sorry. Im so sorry for everything...  but.. I should have never gone to Blake. Do I regret it? No. Because i wouldnt have you and Deacon.. Deacon.... i feel ashamed we hid his secret for so long and his illness is part my fault since it runs on my side but i loved him. I love the both of you very much. And i want you to know your brother, Zaryn." She seemed hopeful.

A genetic illness?

"Half brother." I corrected. Leaning forward, squinting my eyes, i examined her neck. "I see you're no longer collared."

Her cheeks heated. "No. Im not."

"How did it feel to be humiliated by your own mate?" I rose a brow.. being an ass.

She sighed, looking up at me. "I deserved it. The night you... gave me to him.  The night Blake rejected me.. Gabriel told me he would make me regret ever leaving him.. that he would punish me in the most cruelest of ways. Only.. he didnt mean to mark me that night and he did. So his initial punishment.. turned into something different because he could no longer stomach anyone elses touch. Yes he collared me, leashed me, left me out in the yard on my leash in human form for the pack to ridicule me.. and i hated him for it. The only part that got me through was his touch. That was the only thing that i looked forward to. He made me sit in his lap or the floor beside him like a dog during meals.. I was only to eat what he handed me. I was treated like a dog. Until i became pregnant.  Thats when it all stopped. He doesn't do the other things to me.. but i still have to eat from his hand. Along the way.. during all the time i had to think.. during times i was tied to the zip line like a dog.. or .. inside our living quarters, i thought of how much of an evil female i have become. I hurt Gabriel.  He spent every day after i left becoming stronger.. rising up the rungs of the pack to win me back. But by that time i was already pregnant with you." A guilty look in her eyes

"Whats the point of all this." I asked, impatiently.

She smiled sadly. "I know what a monster i became.  I hurt so many on my quest to make my family proud. I hurt him. I hurt blake. I hurt you... and i want to atone for everything.  I feel like the moon is giving me a new start with this pup.  I want to be a good mother to him but i deserve to be punished... so ive decided once the pup is born... i want to take the lashings."

I stared at her.. bewildered.

She was serious.

"You are joking..."

She shook her head. "No. I want to be selfless for once and give everyone what they want.."

My fist pounded the table angrily.  "And you think lashings are the answer!?! Who does that benefit. Tell me. It benefits you and your own guilt.  Not your pup who needs you healthy. Not your mate who wouldn't know how to handle it or what to do with a newborn! And lashings doesnt dare compare to the twenty three years you were away from him and deceived us! This.. this is selfish! A selfless act is doing something that benefits others that does you no good!!!" I stood up, angry at the audacity of this woman who birthed me.

"Get out." I strode to the door, opening it as i stared at the wall in front of me.. my chest heaving.

Timidly, she rose from her seat.. the waterworks turning on full coarse as she came towards the door.. stopping before she exited to look at me. I avoided her.. breathing hard.

"Im so sorry.. Zaryn. Hold on to your mate. Shes nothing the rest of us.." she smiled sadly before exiting. I slammed the door behind her.. walking toward my bed.

"Thank Goddess for that." I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

I needed to get rid of this agression..

Being around Nova was the only thing that worked best but she didnt want to see me right now im sure..

Training it is.

I changed into my workout gear, heading down the stairs and out the side door of the pack house.. ready to get to the feild. But once i rounded the corner, there before me were nineteen angry males and females.  Older..

Parents of the fallen..

Agression and sorrow rolled off them in waves and I already knew what this was about.

"Alpha X!" A man stepped forward. Darrin.. Matthews father. The first wolf i took out that day.

I stood tall, chest out, radiating dominance as i watched him approach.  "What is your business with me." My deep voice boomed.

He shrank a little but stood his ground.. eyes squinting at me. "All our children were slaughtered days ago. Because of you. Because your mate went into heat and carelessly taunted the males! Our males!"

He had better watch his tone.

My wolf peeked through, a growl emitting from my chest.

Im not sure how well this would end.. i feel too agressive and i dont like being cornered.

______________

Nova

Pacing.

Something i do when im nervous.. i always pace.

This morning when i freaked out on Zaryn, I had came to my parents house.. I just couldn't stay there with him when my mind was running 90 to nothing, thinking about the possibilities of being pregnant.

Why is the moon so keen on making every damn female i know pregnant!?!?

I better not be pregnant..

But what if i am?

If i am... then ill try to be the best mom i can be.. which also means Zaryn and i have to have the talk..

I know it was immature of me to run out on him like that but.. i was just freaking out. I need alone time when im freaking out. I need time to clear my head.

Ive been clearing my head damn near the whole day and im still freaking out.

And i still havent started yet.

A knock sounded on my bedroom door and i paused my pacing.

"Nova? Open up." It was Nic.

Sighing in defeat, i opened the door for him. He was standing there with his arms crossed, eyes wide... flitting around probably looking for any threats inside my room. His wolf is more animal currently.

"Hey its okay. Its just me. Come in." I moved to the bed, Nic following suit. I noticed he locked the door for good measure.

"Hey sis." He sat gingerly on my bed.. fidgeting slightly. His eyes never meeting mine.

"Hey.. " i sat down on the seat next to my bed.. not wanting to be too close. Despite being family, you never knew what a wolf who was on edge like him would do..

I watched as his mossy green eyes focused onto me.. scrutinizing me from the edge of my bed. His lips pursed as He sighed, "What's wrong Nova.. talk to me. Is it about Zaryn?"

Shaking my head, i looked down only to see teardrops land on my clasped hands in my lap..

That was my breaking point..

I let the dam burst.. hunching my shoulders inwards as i cried. "I.. i might be pregnant." I sniffled.

His hand was on mine instantly, taking my wrist and pulling me onto the bed with him, hugging me to him as we lay, just like we used to do in his room. I cried in his chest.. something i havent done in so long. "Im sorry.. i dont know why im so emotional."

"Its the hormones" he murmured in my hair.

That caused me to let out a sobbing laugh.  "You know just what to say." I breathed, sarcastically.

"So ive been told." He chuckled lowly. "Is that all thats bothering you?" He seemed so calm over the fact i might be pregnant.

I pulled away, turning so i lay on my side next to him.. he did the same, our eyes meeting. His mossy green to my grass green. "Its everything Nic. Its how im so frustrated... that i come back after all this time and everyone just expects me to forgive and forget and move on.. to be Zaryn's mate and the packs Luna.. i can forgive.. but i cant forget! I lived in that hell. I remember it so clearly like it was yesterday. The greif.. the pain. The turmoil.. watching Zaryn choose her over me. Feeding her. Kissing her. Rubbing her belly. I lived that hell! And no one knows what it was like. No one! I cant just hop in here and be the good little mate with no worries. I know Zaryn loves me and would never make the same mistake because we are mated now and he has his mate but... i can't get over the feelings. Those feelings made me become who i am today, Nic! Im tired of being the strong warrior.. I have worries too.. but, i do love him." I explained, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie.

He seemed lost in thought for a moment.. thinking about what i said.. then he looked me in my eyes.. never wavering. "No one expects you to forget about that. That's too hard to do. And you dont have to be strong all the time Nova. Not with me.. and not with Zaryn. He loves you.. and i only have begun to understand that kind of love. And i understand his side.. with being a dad. I get it. And im not on his side Nova. Im on yours.. but he is your mate. You gotta stop running from him. Tell him these things! Talk to him. Tell him what you just told me! Nova..." he leaned closer. "No one expects you to take the role of Luna automatically.  You already said you werent going anywhere. You are already mated.. and by default you are the Luna. But you dont necessarily have to jump in a mateship yet. Let him work for it.. create new memories together to override the bad ones. He wont hurt you again. I know that deep in my heart." He seemed far away in his own words but what he was saying... i liked it.

"Nova, everyone makes mistakes. You did too.. by running. But I'm glad you did because look how far you've come. But having a mate.. who loves you and wants to be there for you.. Zaryn hasnt been zaryn in a long time. Until you arrived. No one expects you to just act like a family.. even if you do turn out to be pregnant.. you can still make him work for it, sis." He winked.

He was right.  I needed to stop running.  Even when i say I wont.. i do. I forgave Grace. And i forgave Zaryn.  Forgetting is not an option but making new memories.... that sounded good.

I felt myself smile through the tears. "Has anyone ever told you you'd make a good counselor?"

He chuckled.

My brows creased as i peered down at the comforter on my bed. "Im scared Nic. Im not ready to be a parent.. i can barely take care of myself.. im too young for this.. for a pup. What if i am pregnant? What do i do?" The desperation in my voice sounded foreign.  I cant remember the last time ive been so open.. instead of hardened.

"Nova." His fingers lifted my chin, "you'll be a great mother... Zaryn and you need each other now more than ever.. he would walk the fires of hell for you, woman.  And you'd have him as a partner. You have me. Mom. Dad. We are all here to help you if you need it.... you aren't just a pup anymore. You are a warrior now. A strong one. If you can survive four months at Dark Moon, you can survive parenthood."

I gave him a tight lipped smile. "But i dont even know who i am yet. I havent had time to figure those things out.. since i shifted its been hell. Ive had no fun. I havent lived like a normal wolf! I wanted to live before i went through this. I haven't done anything but runaway from my problems and train till i broke my bones." I sobbed.

He sighed, "Nova life is what we make of it and im learning that the hard way. You can still do those things.. you know mom is going to adore being a grandma.. you have wolves to help. You can still be you or discover you or whatever. But you really do need your mate during this time. Let him be there for you. Dont shut him out."

His words..  he seemed so much wiser than his years. He was right...  maybe this isnt the end of the world. Maybe im just hormonal...

"I can smell a change in your scent.." he commented, sniffing the air.

That made me pause.. it means i very well could be pregnant.  Theres only one way to find out...

Go to Zaryn.

"How can you tell?"

Nic shrugged.  "Im still and Alpha blood. First born. Zaryn may have gotten the Alpha strength when he got the title but i was still born with it. I have the senses still.. its probably also why i havent gone as crazy as Zaryn did when he changed.."

My browd creased.  "Ive heard stories but.. he has seemed so.. normal."

"Thats because you are here. He's normal around you. You soothe his beast." He deadpanned me.

I really am Zaryn's missing link. As he is mine...

He grinned. "I remember when we were younger.. you were thirteen.  Zaryn and I were newly shifted. He always had his eyes on you.. even before then and especially when you were around Deacon.  But when he shifted, he paid you even more attention. I had told him to cut it out. It was gross.. that you were too young. But he never took his eyes off you. I think even then, he knew you were his subconsciously..." he trailed off .. remembering.

This made me smile.. because i always stared at him.. always had a crush on him.

"Thank you Nic. For the talk.. and for... for helping me that day.. im. I'm sorry i had to kill Jazz.. i feel bad for not feeling bad about it too.. how can i be a good mom if i cant feel bad about my causing anothers death?" My eyes, still blurry with emotion found his and he grabbed my hand..

"Nova. You are going to be fine. I promise.  Any female who is training in a pack where its kill or be killed is going to react that way. It was them or you. It will only make you an even better mother if you really are pregnant. And as far as Jazz... she had it coming.  She challenged you for what was yours. You were in your right.  Jazz was power hungry.  You know her mom is an alcoholic... she spent jazz's inheritance on booze.. told jazz she needed to mate up the ladder in order for them to be taken care of. Once i was expected to be Alpha she started flirting with me. I knew what it was about though and shut her down.  When Zaryn became Alpha she must have tried the same thing. She wanted so desperately to make her mom proud.. to get out of her life at the same time. Its not your fault sis. And as far as us rescuing your punk ass, you're welcome." He smirked.

His talk seemed to help me.. maybe im being over hormonal and over dramatic but i had legitimate worries on my mind.. but Nic..

Nic has suffered too.

I shifted my gaze to him, "How were you able to even come out there without slaughtering everyone?"

"Well..." he drew my hand into his. "I thought about what you said. About being stronger. When dad told me what happened and i broke out of docs.. i felt refreshed.. like i knew i had to be stronger for you, myself and mostly Grace.  After the fights were over.. i went straight to Blakes with dads blessing. He lives across the lake and its still not a good idea for me to be around wolves because mine tends to get snappy.. but Blake, being an Alpha blood and my bio dad.. Im able to be around him and he around me. He's helping me get stronger .. like he's been doing all these months. I wanna be strong for Grace." He sighed longingly.

I peered over at him. "I heard from Dad that Conrad and Maxims pack are both coming to the mate picnic...  Grace and Eden are coming too..." i bit my lip, gauging his reaction..

But i silently wondered what Conrad would do when he saw Blake.. he was still angry for what he did to Grace, locking her away and asking Nic to choose another mate. I couldn't believe Nic wasn't still pissed. But Nic can let anything go.

"Grace is coming?" His eyes lit up like the fourth of july, panic rising to the top as he bolted upright.

Frowning, i sat up, "yeah? I thought youd be happy."

Nic shook his head, "no...i am

. Im just.. worried. What if my wolf comes out? Im not ready.. im not trained.  Im not strong yet. What if i advance on her and shes not ready!?" He paniced.

I recalled the first moment i saw Zaryn again... the intense sensations.

A knowing smirk formed on my lips. "I dont think that will be a problem. Besides. Grace has been training from what i hear. Hard.  She can take you im sure." I nudged him playfully to which he seemed to relax.

"Yeah, i hope." His dark hair flopped over his eyes, making him seem boyish in a way.

We talked a little longer until the sun began to set, pinks scattering across the sky.

"Well little sis, i need to get back. Can't be around all the males since im a freak on a leash. Might kill someone." He winked, a skip in his step as he strode to the door, turning to look at me. "When are they coming? Grace?"

"Tomorrow." I smiled.

His brow rose. "Shıt i have work to do. Ill see you tomorrow. Oh. And... go to Zaryn. Before chaos arrives will ya? Its time you two talk." He blew a kiss before shutting the door, not giving me time to respond.

Sighing heavily, i rolled out of bed.. my hands on my belly.. peering down. "If someone is in there? I promise.. im going to try my best with you. But i can't promise I'll be perfect at it."

Nic was full of knowlege tonight.. he was so right about everything.  Its time i stopped running. It takes two to tango.. its my fault too. I shouldn't have ran or accused Zaryn. Im going to stop running. I need to take my responsibilities.. be The Luna to this pack. Im not going anywhere.. and if im pregnant... Nic is right.. i can still take it slow with Zaryn.. tell him my fears. I wont jump into my old ways with him but we can at least take it slow...

And if i do have a pup? Mom and the pack can help.  I can still enjoy life.. Zaryn can help too. He would be the dad afterall..

I'll be good.. I'll be fine.

I just have to make it through and stop hiding. No more running. No more hiding.

Letting down my mental wall, i searched our bond.. feeling Zaryn's agression on the other end.

Frowning to myself.. "this can't be good.."

Nic was also right about the other thing. Im his missing link and hes mine.

Its time to talk.

Leaving my parents house, i ran down the dirt road.. going where the bond took me. The skies were heavy with multicolored clouds in the sky, mostly deep pinks and oranges..

But once i rounded the yard of the packhouse i realised where Zaryn's agression had come from.

There were ninteen wolves standing in front of him.. all agressive themselves.. sorrow filled the air.

These were the parents of the fallen pack members of the males who had challenged for me.. to get to me during my heat.

Zaryn was screaming out as wolves questioned him. He was on the verge of snapping..  that would only lose more wolves.

An overwhelming urge inside my wolf and my skin side was compelling me to go to him. He needed my comfort.  We needed to be a united front.

Irritation at these wolves with a death wish flooded my system as i approached Zaryn who wore a mask of fury.. his fists clenched. Muscled engorged and veins popping out. Every bit of a turn on but i attempted to remain composed.

I caught his eye at which confusion and surprise appeared on his features and i went to stand beside him, taking his fisted hand and uncurling it to grip into mine. We needed to be a united pair in front of this group. A team... undivided.

Its time to start acting like a Luna and shove my anxiety to the side.

I felt him relax almost immediately at my touch, the electrical sparks surging between us, and i faced the small group with him, side by side. I kept my face a mask, my power radiating from my body as i looked each on of these wolves in the eye who were cowering with fear from Zaryn but also had nothing to lose, their children being slaughtered.

Its time to set things straight for this pack.

"You!" A woman in her late forties, smelling heavily of alcohol came forth, her clouding eyes assessing me "so great to have our luna finally present.." she spat.

I knew immediately who this was.

Jazz's alcoholic mother.

This ought to be interesting.

Stepping forward, my mask of indifference and superiority, i eyed the woman. "From the smell of alcohol, i take it you are Jazz's mother?"

A low growl from her had me growling louder in response, teeth showing. "Your daughter deserved what she got. She challenged me for what was mine. She lost. Alpha Zaryn is your Alpha now!" My voice was loud. "Whatever was allowed under Blakes rule is now over. Zaryn gave you all the new rules and you must accept them. I am by his side and im not going anywhere. Any female that challenges me for whats mine will meet the moon!" My voice hard, "You are lucky to be given a choice! Lucky that it isnt kill or be killed like most packs!"

Zaryn squeezed my hand, stepping forward.

"Your Luna is correct." His deep barritone voice sounded out, "And as far as the males? Yes. Her heat came early. No we didnt know it would be that early. Yes we could have prevented it but it happened.  And any male who tries to take whats mine.. that is a direct challenge to me!!!" He bellowed. That deep voice that had my thighs clenching.

His hard stare, tensed masculine jaw.. he was a turn on for sure. "All of you know the rules of a challenge. It is up to the wolf on if they wish to use submission or death so i advise those of you who challenge, you do so wisely.  I am sorry for all of your losses and i will take care of the funerals. But each one of you has something left to lose; your mates.  so think long and hard if you wish to challenge me! I will compensate those of you who lost more financially by losing your sons and daughter.. but if you do not like how we do things, you are welcome to transfer out. But i assure you... every other pack kills. I give you the option at least. You all may go. Meeting over. I will meet with you individual before the funerals" He ordered in his Alpha tone that had my toes curling.

The wolves eyed us with grumbles, dispersing away.. back to their homes. But Jazz's mom lingered in her drunken state. I took this opportunity.

"Mrs. Hagen." I  held her stare until she couldn't manage any longer. "We are sending you to rehab. To help you. You are an alcoholic and i know it's because of your mates death.. but you can get better.  We are going to help you. Its not an option. You will take it or you will leave." My tone was firm, authoritative.  I felt Zaryn watching me in awe but i didnt waver.

Her nose crinkled in disgust, "ill be damned!" She walked away.

"Enjoy your last night of freedom Mrs. Hagen!" I called out in a no nonsense tone.

Once it was just Zaryn and I , he grabbed me.. pressing me into his body in a hug. The tingles all over my body calmed me more than i wanted to admit.

"Thank you. I was about to snap." He breathed in my ear. "You are very... Luna." He pulled away with a smile.

I returned his smile, giving him a tight lipped one.. gazing up into his eyes, ignoring those inked muscles that begged for me to touch them. Taking a deep breath, "Im ready.. to have the talk. The big talk."

He paused, eyes wideneing in surprise. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Lets take a walk up to the falls." I stated firmly.. proud my voice never wavered.

Smiling down at me in relief, he nodded, taking my hand. "Lets go." He pressed a kiss to our intertwined hands before leading my across the yard and up the forrested mountainside.

Only Zaryn can tell me if im pregnant or not. As he is my mate.. so we will find out soon. A wolf can tell very quickly after all.

Taking deep breaths, i knew this talk would do us both some good. Im going to grow even more this way.. im going to stand by my pack. Be their Luna. And maybe... figure out how to make new memories. I cant forget... but i can forgive. And i have.

Dun dun dun!!!

Penelope how dare you think that a lashing will get you anywhere!

Now we see Gabe really did treat her like a dog!!!

And Nic! Go nic for giving the good advice.. for taking good advice. For being a bigger man and trying for your mate!!!! He loves his sister  :)

And FINALLY nova is finally going to try. Her brothers words of wisdom hit her hard. Now shes going to slam dunk it

But X still has to work for it!

Howd you like nics remembering a time about Nova and z!?!

And now how about that schooling Nova just gave the wolves! Standing by her mate as a front.

Is she pregnant????

Find out next on the next episode of Shatter

Which is "the talk!"

I cant wait till the pack is here!!!!

Xoxo

Chilee