75. The Moon's Will

Awww snap

Bet you didnt see this coming!

Surprise!!

Nova

Eyes blurry, filled with unshed tears as i climbed my way up the side of the forrest beside the waterfall.. the box of memories clutched under my arm..

Thoughts kept drifting to Deacon..

How much we laughed together.. the first time i saw him cry, when watched the notbook and the last time i saw him cry, when he turned seventeen and shifted for the first time.

He had told me it was nothing.. just the pain.

But when i first shifted, i realised he never cried over the pain.

Now i know he cried because i wasnt his mate.

That i never knew what feelings he harbored for me..

As i approached the small clearing at the top of the waterfall, the air cool but not cold.. sun still shining overhead, i made my way closer to the forrests edge on the opposite end where the willow tree stood.

Deacon's grave.

My tears fell, cascading as i looked down upon the marble tombstone.. engraved with improper death date.

It made me angry wolves could treat a pack member this way.

But i understood.

He did some horrible things that i can't even stomach to think about...

But this box? Its filled with the Deacon i did know.

A sob left my mouth as I sat next to his grave.. setting my box of memories in front of my crossed legs. Now is an awful time to do this with the packs coming.. but i felt compelled. Something has been shoving me to come here.. to get it all out. Be it the moon?

Im not sure.

I felt the cold marble of the headstone.. closing my eyes.. i could almost smell Deacon standing beside me. Could almost hear his chuckle at me for crying over him..

I let the tears run..

Being closed up for so many months and now raging with pregnancy hormones, It's hard for me to keep my emotions in check.

Taking a deep breath, i lifted the lid off the box.. taking out items and laying them on the grass in front of me. I sighed, feeling the air surround me in a comforting swirl of heat mixed with a gentle breeze.. such a contradiction, our weather.

The first thing my fingertips came to was the picture D drew me when we were in kindergarten..

A crayon drawing of me and him. Stick figures holding hands. At the bottom it said, bezt frends forevver

Smiling, i wiped a tear from my cheek as i continued pulling things out.. laying them in order of when i recieved them. Most were dated.

A lot were drawings. Goddess, D could draw.

"Deacon, remember when you gave me this drawing?" I asked as if he could hear me, holding up a picture he drew of me in charcoal. He was only ten but he was always so advanced.  It was nothing compared to the things he created as he grew older... but it was still beautiful.

A drawing of me.. sitting on the tree swing in my dress with a crown of scottish heathers in my hair that i insisted he help me make. My eyes closed, recalling the day.

"Remember when i was so mad because you wanted to play your dumb video games so I threw a tantrum and you relented? Helping me make the crown? Then you went and got your sketch pad because you said every princess needed to have their picture drawn - it's what royals would have done. So i tried my best to sit still" i giggle eacaped me. "But you became so frustrated with me... it ended up pretty though." My voice whispered, hoarse from my crying currently and screaming out because of Zaryn earlier.

I laid the picture down, grabbing his bracelet that he always had worn. A chuckled vibrated me. "Remember when i told you that it was time you took this off for good? Because it started to smell? And you told me to keep it.... it no longer smells... its been in this box for years. But it still smells of you. Most of these things do, D. Its almost like you are here with me."

Closing my eyes, more tears came down.. my hand rested on the grass atop his grave and i layed on my side.. facing his resting place with the box beside me. "Remember this?" I held up a print out of us when we were fourteen at the photo booth from the mall in human territory.  Our faces were priceless. The first pics we smiled. Then made funny faces.. then i whispered in his ear on the next and the last picture he looked at me with disgust. I laughed but barely.. "this was the day i told you I had to go get a new bra because i grew. You found that so disgusting.... i think.  Or was it all for show?" I dropped the photos back in the box, picking up a string of pearls.

"These. You gave me these on my thirteenth birthday. Told me that every pretty girl should own a pair. Then you told me that's what your mom said when she gave them to you to give to me." I chuckled through my tears. "You hadn't a clue she had gotten them.. you tried your best at being smooth though."

I sighed once more, dropping the item back in the box filled with years worth of memories and found myself just staring at the newly grown grass, sprouting over the grave.

"Deacon, I wish I knew what was wrong with you. Why did you keep it a secret from me? I have so many questions and I feel like ill never get answers... not until i meet the moon.. i dont even know if youd be there. But.. i hope wherever you are.. you've made things right with your mate." New tears sprang to my eyes. "Why did you kill her, D? Why did you have to be obsessed with me? We were best friends and thats all i thought about. Was you. As my best friend.. my support system. When did you start to love me? How.. how could you do that to all those females and murder your mate? I just dont understand! I want to though. Why cant you be here to tell me that it was a mistake?" I cried, whispering my words to the grave beside me.

Curling around my box of memorabilia, I closed my eyes.. feeling warmty radiate from the sun and my mind began to drift.. my sniffling stopped.

Darkness took me over in my exhausted state but i still felt somehwat aware.

I was dreaming..

My eyes opened, it had only been moments, but i awoke to a pair of blue eyes.. familiar ocean blue eyes that smiled at me with warmth.

I shot up from the ground, sitting up.. he was squatting.. on top of his grave.. eyes on me before they landed on his headstone.

"Sad. They didnt put my death..." his familiar voice rang out and i had to remind myself that i was dreaming. His eyes shifted to mine.. he seemed.. different. Better. Not like the Deacon that was present near the end of his life.

I cocked my head to the side, "Deacon? Is that really you? Is my imagination that creative?"

He smiled that famous smile, flashing his white teeth. Handsome as ever. "No.. you are dreaming. But im really here. In your dreams. I guess you have the moon's favor." His frown appeared. "Im not there.. with the moon goddess. But i will be. One day."

My brows furrowed. How could he be here ? What did he mean i had her favor? What did he mean he wasnt with the moon but will be one day?

His eyes snapped back up to meet mine. "I heard every word you said.. " he smiled sadly, sitting on top of his own grave. "I miss you. A lot." He held his hand out. I eyed it suspiciously... nervous of what he would do.

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed my hand. It felt... like a hand. A real hand. "Im not going to hurt you, silly. You're the one i loved remember? And.. besides.  Im better now. Now that im not in my body...." his thumb rubbed my knuckles soothingly. It was unnerving.

My questions. If the moon really granted me this gift.. to speak to him one last time, i didnt want to waste it.

"Why, Deacon?" My voice broke.. eyes shining with moisture.

He stared at me with such a sadness, "i was sick, Nova. I had an illness.. a disease. Trust me.. i didn't want to do the things ive done.. the things that made you hate me." I withdrew my hand  but he nodded in understanding. "Those females i took advantage of.. something inside me took over when that happened."

Peering up at his forlorn expression, "what about your mate." The question that has haunted me since the beginning.  Since i found out.

Sadness, a frown of sadness veiled his handsome features.. his jaw clenching. "I hate myself for that. Im paying for it now, Nova. I shouldn't have ever done that.. I never would have. You know me. That isnt me!" He pled with me to understand. I just sat there.. listening. "I did fall in love with you, yes. Yes i lied about it.. " his eyes met mine.

"I fell in love with you when we were twelve." He announced. My eyes widened at this. "You were everything to me. My illness seemed to subside around you, Nova. The only person I told was my mom.. how i felt about you. But i could never tell you. I knew i had to wait until we shifted.. I knew you saw me as just a friend... so i lied when i told you i prayed we werent mated. I prayed we were. When i shifted.. i realised you werent mine.. it killed me, Nova. Those females from other packs.. i would take my anger out on them, pretending it was you but id never hurt you. I cried the day i shifted because you werent mine and my mind began to change.. for the worse. I was better around you though. Until you discovered Zaryn was yours. That broke me. I hated him... for what he had that i didnt.. for doing what he did to you... so yes. I began to work with Grace. I wanted you Nova but my mind wasnt right. I was sick" he looked down at the ground... frowning at his thoughts.

"When i met my mate.. i was intending to find another female to.. have my way with.  But i found her. When i saw her... i felt the bond and i loved her instantly. But then my rotting mind made me see that i should hate her.. because she wasn't you. I became angry... i lashed out. All i could think of was how she would ruin me for you.. how it would ruin my sick minds plans to keep Zaryn away so i could make you fall in love with me.. and... and i did things..." his eyes blurred with tears. "Things i hate myself for." He peered up at me through his wet lashes. "And im paying for it. I wasnt in my right mind Nova. I regret what i did to her everyday. I can still hear her screams because im forced to relive that moment.. watching what i did every day. It plays on a loop for me and i hate myself for it. She was so innocent and i hate myself. I deserve worse for what ive done to her. To her family. To you.  But the moon knows i was sick... once my punishment is through ill be able to go to the moon because genetics wasnt my fault. I didnt ask to be that way. You have to believe me." He pled.

The moon was making him see everything he did to his mate on a loop.. as punishment. If he is in his right mind in death... that has to be the ultimate punishment.. watching yourself rape and kill your own gift..

I took a deep breath, focusing on my mind as i closed my eyes. "I believe you D. Because the Deacon in this box.." i opened my eyes. "The one in my memories.. that wasnt the Deacon i learned about. Why didnt you tell me you were sick?" I grabbed his hand this time, believing every word he told me. I harbored no ill feelings anymore. Not after this. I couldn't be mad at him for working with grace and anita... he was sick.

He smiled sadly, a tear dropping down onto his pants.  "Because i never wanted you of all people to look at me differently. If you had known, you would have never been my best friend. And you put so much light in my life.. you made me sane. I would hate to think the wolf i would have been if it hadnt been for you Nova...." he cupped my cheek as i cried for him.. for all that he suffered through silently.  "The moon has great plans for you. I have no favor with her but you do. You have righted all the wrongs.. you have helped her seek her vengeance against others and you are her warrior. You are the moon's warrior. She wanted me to tell you that. That she has a happy ending for you. That she thanks you. That all this suffering you have been through was for a purpose."

Sniffling, i peered up at him with a confusion.  "Im her warrior? What does that mean?"

He smiled. "You will find out soon enough." His eyes fell to my necklace... a sad smile on his lips. "Give Zaryn a chance." Eyes landed back onto mine. "I should have never hated him for what was his gift. You. Give him a fighting chance Nova. Ive watched you change.. ive watched you hurt and bottle your pain.. and ive also watched my big brother suffer and change as well... into the beast he is now.. hes different with you. He is getting his sanity back. I don't want him to end up like me... and... im happy for you." He smiled.. a real smile that had me smiling back. "I want you to stop this nonsense of making him wait. Life is too short. Dive in it with him. Be happy for once Nova.  He isnt going to break your heart. I know this. And know im happy for the two of you."

My lips parted in surprise.. he knew i would be okay with Zaryn?

And he is happy for me?

"You are?" My brows rose.

Deacon nodded, bringing me into a hug that felt so real. I could even smell his calming scent. "Congratulations on the pup." He whispered, kissing my cheek before pulling away.

"How do you-"

"The moon showed me everything, Nova."

Tears of happiness spilled forth.. i was so emotional but his words.. the moon has me in her favor. I knew this wasnt just a dream. It was real. Ive only heard of these things happening.

"Nova? Please dont hate me. Please remember me for the friend i was to you.. you have a good enough heart. Please dont hate me for the things i couldn't stop.. the things i never would have done if i wasnt sick... please?"  The look on his face was one of turmoil..

"I wont, Deacon. I don't hate you. I promise ill remember the good times." A grin formed on my lips. "I miss you. The old you. I miss you D. And i love you... "

"I love you too N. I always have, always will." He smiled.. before glancing down at the ground with a frown. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything..."

He met my eyes, "tell my brother i love him and im sorry. For everything.  There are two letters in the treehouse. One for Zaryn... and one for my mates father, Alpha Reynold. The moon granted me the privelege of settling their souls. Give it to them. Please? And prepare yourself." Urgency was now in his eyes.

"I will deliver them.. but prepare myself For what Deacon?"

His face was a mask."for tomorrow night. Prepare for utter destruction and chaos. Don't deliver the letters until the following day. There is a reason. But you need to be prepared.. be prepared for war to break out, Nova."

My brows rose and I quickly got on my knees. "War? What war, Deacon? Tell me!"

He shook his head.  "I can't Nova. The moon wants what she wants. Just... keep safe. She will protect you. You are her warrior. You will be blessed in this life. With Zaryn. And your pups. Just.. be strong.  Remember.  Dont deliver the letters until the morning after tomorrow. I have to go now.." he stood to his feet. "You will have your happy ending with Zaryn."

My heart raced and i begin to panic as i stood, "wait! No!"

He wrapped me up in his arms in a tight hug as he whispered, "the Deacon you know is who I always was. Remember that. I'll be watching you grow Nova. I love you." His arms locked tighter and i cried in his chest..

Until the pressure around me disappeared and i was left standing there alone under the weeping willow atop the grave of my best friend.

Falling to my knees, i sobbed hysterically but a weight felt as if it had been lifted from my shoulders...

I could truly forgive him now.

For everything.

But what he said....

war.

My insides begin to shudder at the thought of what could happen.

•••••••••

I was jolted awake by a bird landing on me, pecking at my head. Waving my hands frantically, the bird flew away, squawking at me in a screeching manner.

Sitting up, i rubbed my eyes.. searching around for Deacon or any sign that the dream i just had was real.

It was so real... he was here with me.

He explained everything.. answered all my questions. Told me his story...

He couldn't help it. And i believed that. I could finally find peace with this...

My shoulder begin burning profusively.. as if i had been burned and my skin was stinging..

Quickly lifting my sleeve... i gaped at what I was staring at.

A tattoo..

One i had never gotten.

A crescent moon.. in black ink that shimmered blue.  Script of some language i couldnt identify below it and two unique designs on either side... opposite arm from my other tattoo.

What is this? What could this mean?

Then Deacon's words rang through my mind...

You are the moon's warrior. You have helped her seek her vengeance..

Was this from the moon?

It couldn't have been anything else...

I recalled what Deacon said about the letters.. immediately i jumped up.. racing toward the tree house which was hidden by dense trees.

I climbed the rungs hurriedly and threw up the hatch, clambering inside and glancing around like a mad woman..  searching.

There.

On the desk, there sat two letters in silver envelopes. One adressed to Zaryn and the other to Alpha of Moon Stone.. which was Alpha Reynold.

A piece of paper lay on top beside them, left open with words in script which Deacon could never have written.

When you recount your dream to others and upon delivering these letters.. show off your new ink. The oracle will know what to say. Take her with you. Remember. Not until the morning after tomorrow.

I held the paper in my hand, frowning at it.

Could the moon be this .... entity who left this? Could the moon have more to do with the lives of wolves than we all assumed?

Folding the paper, i slipped it in my back pocket, making a mental note to talk to the Oracle, Claire. I snatched the two silver envelopes and climbed back down the tree trunk, racing back to the willow tree.

I sat on my knees, taking a deep breath as i packed my memories back into the pretty shoe box.. putting the envelopes along with everything.

I felt a smile tug my lips upwards.. saying i silent thank you to the moon for allowing my questions to be answered involving Deacon.  For giving me one last moment with him. I would forever be grateful..

Pressing my hand against my shoulder, the new tattoo that appeared on my skin stung. How could the moon do things like this and ive never even heard stories of such things? I thought she worked from above? Never intervening...

I was mistaken.

The moon had some trick up her sleeve...

I sat there.. staring out at the miles of lake before me.. just thinking.  once my happiness wore off from being able to see Deacon, to get answers to my questions.. and once the shock from receiving this tattoo along with letters from a being the moon had brought to another place wore off.. i was left with the revelation that there would be war.

And it would be tomorrow.

But with who?

And why would the letters be needed after the fact? Why not before?

But who am i to question the moon.

I sat in shock and disbelief of the events that had just taken place...

"Nova? Are you okay sweetheart?" Zaryn's voice broke me out of my shaken state and i turned to see him running to me.. falling on his knees, hands holding my face to inspect me. His eyes holding panic.

Smiling softly, i took his wrists in my hands that were cupping my face. "Im fine."

He seemed to relax, but his eyes hardened.  "I felt your pain through the bond. I thought maybe you were upset or hurt.. i freaked out on the training field and broke a males arm over it. Ya cant do that to me baby it scares the shit out of me." He pled with me as he brought me into his massive body with his strong arms.

I remember what Deacon said...

To give him a chance.. dont hold back. He needed me as much as i needed him. That we would be so happy together.

Pulling away from me, i couldn't stop the smile despite the fear of the unknown of tomorrow..

Zaryn's eyes softened as he noticed the box in front of me before they flickered to the grave.  Understanding bloomed through the bond. "You were crying over Deacon?" I asked softly, brushing my hair away from my face.

Nodding, "yeah.. " i looked down at the ground. "Silly i know."

He breathed out a breath of laughter as he stayed kneeling in front of me.. large muscles and tattoos showing.  "Not silly at all love. Understandable.  I had my own moments here as well. Drunken ones. But moments nonetheless.... do you.. feel better about everything?" He rose a brow in curiosity.

Peering up cautiously, "Zaryn? What would you say if i told you he came to me in my dream? I nodded off here... he came to me."

He tilted his head, "its bound to happen baby.. you were close to him. I dream about him sometimes too."

Frustrated, i shook my head. "No. No i mean... the moon allowed him to visit me in my dreams. He answered all the questions that have been plaguing my mind. He told me i was the moons warrior whatever that means..  that i was sent to help right all the wrongs.. to aid her. Then Deacon left something tangible but i cant give it to you until the day after tomorrow..."

"Nova are you okay?" He looked down at me concerned, feeling my head.

I swatted his hands away with a growl, "im fine! Look!" I raised my sleeve, showing him the ink that marred my skin.. the new ink. "This is what i woke up to after the talk with him.. he gave me letters. One for you and one for Alpha Reynold too but im not to deliver them to the day after tomorrow. Here." I dug the slip of paper out of my back pocket angrily, shoving it at his chest.

He frowned, taking the paper in his hands as he read it. He blinked, looking up at me. "What is this?" Then he grabbed my arm, inspecting the tattoo.. confused as I was moments earlier.

Groaning, i pinched the bridge of my nose. "I told you. The moon sent Deacon to talk to me. He explained everything to me.. in detail. It wasnt my inagination or howd i get this ink? He said i was the moons warrior.. i dont know what that means but Zaryn that's not all... " i grabbed his face to look at me. "He said tomorrow there will be war. That the moon said it needs to happen. I dont know with whom... but it will happen. You need to be prepared, Z." I softened my gaze as he just stared from me to my tattoo to the paper in his hands.

His features set in a hard line.  "Tell me everything. "

It took thirty minutes of my recounting of the dream.. everything Deacon told me.. the answers to all my questions, the part where Deacon  told me to tell him he loved him.. plus the parts the moon had sent him to tell me.

Zaryn believed me.

He was freaking out.. but he believed me. He had wanted to see the letters but i only showed him that they existed.. i refused to give them to him because that's not what i was instructed to do and he let it go.

"What are you going to do? About tomorrow?" I asked, lying in his arms.

He kissed my temple, rubbing his hand over my belly and inhaling my scent to calm him. "I guess all i can do is make sure every single warrior we have is prepared for anything.  Set scouts out.. have the picnic in a clearing where I can put scouts around the area.. ready for anything. I doubt dark moon would start a war with me.... but Blue moon might. " his teeth gritted.

My brows creased as i peered up at him, "Conrad wouldn't do that.. i know he wouldn't."

His jaw was tense as he looked down at me. "You dont know him as well as you think. Come. We need to prepare.  The Alpha's packs will be here in three hours and we have to go see the Oracle about your tattoo... im concerned. I'll let the pack know we may have war on our hands.. but we need to keep you somehwere safe during all of this." He began to rise, pulling me up with him, his jaw ticking and my heart sped up as i looked up at him with fear.

"No!" I jerked back on his hand, his head whipping towards me.. angry. "No.. what if you need me? I can't be somehwere else when i dont know if you're safe. I wont leave you! What if you die!?" I was hysterical thinking about the what ifs, clutching his arms.

His features softened as he leaned his head to the side, gazing at me with warmth. "Didnt you say Deacon said we would live long and happily?" He traced a thumb over my cheek, stopping a tear in its tracks before putting it to his lips.

"Y-yes but-"

"No buts." His head shook slowly.. hands cupping my cheeks, bringing my face to his. His eyes were wide and clear. "You two are the loves of my life" his eyes darted to my stomach  "and ill be damned of anything happens to either of you. Especially you. My wolf needs to keep you safe. Trust me. Trust Deacon. Trust the moon my love." He brought my lips to his and i crumbled, wrapping my arms around his broad body in a tight hug as tears spilled from my eyes for the millionth time today.

Pulling back, my necklace got hung on his ring. The Alpha ring he wore.. his eyes flickered down at the locket and a small smile formed on his plush lips .. eyes rising to meet mine. That sky blue swirled with happiness.. a glow about him. "You're wearing it again."

I nodded, a feeling inside me i havent felt in so long...

Pure adoration and love. True unconditional love. I believed what Deacon had said. With all my heart.

Taking his face in my hands, i pulled him down to me, smashing my lips to his before i gazed into his eyes, my own vision blurry.  "This is a game changer. I want you to know that i love you. So fucking much and i dont want you to die. Do not leave me. I believe in the moon but i believe in you too and im telling you to fight.  Be the beast you have been and win. Let my Alpha wolf out to destroy whoever comes to destroy us. I want to be happy and grow old with you and our pups." I whispered against his lips with an urgency.

Our eyes stayed locked and i felt the bond strumm.. his feelings of pure joy coming through from his side into mine and i felt all of his love right there and then. Suddenly he picked me up and my legs went around his waist as well as my arms around his neck. He held me, crashing his lips onto mine in a kiss of passion.. one that screamed to me as he poured every ounce of love into me with that one singular action.

I poured just as much into it.

Fùçk my worries.

Fùçk  my issues.

This is my mate and he will never stop being my mate. I want him forever and i know he feels the same.

Whatever reservations i had about taking it slow, diminished with Deacon's words and the thought of losing Zaryn.

I will forever be his Luna.

Pulling away with ragged breaths, we stared at each other as he held me... his eyes alight with wonder. "I felt your thoughts just now. Do you mean that?"

Nodding, i felt a tear roll down my cheek again.

"And pups as in plural?"

Again, another nod.

He looked up at me in his arms as if i were the most treasured thing in this entire world. "I love you so much. When this is over... you are marrying me and im going to make love to you over and over again." His deep voice was husky as he shed a tear himself.

Crying happy tears, i nodded.. latching my lips back onto his.

Who would have thought Deacon of all people would bring us so close together? That his ghost.. spirit.. whatever, would make me feel at complete ease and mend my heart completely.

Breaking away, "zaryn dont get hurt. I'll kill you if you get hurt."

He chuckled lightly, nodding frantically.  "I promise my love. You are officially stuck with me forever.. now.. lets go see Clair the Oracle. Im mind linking the generals right now.. telling them to get ready. We have things to do. Come." He let me slide down his body and grabbed up my box, holding it tucked under his arm as he grabbed my hand with his other.. leading me away from the falls.

Glancing back at Deacon's grave, i said i silent thank you and continued on with Zaryn.

I hope my nerves could handle this..

The moon's warrior...

My confession of love to my mate...

This war...

Moon goddess, if you hear me.. please keep my Alpha  safe. I know you will. And thank you.. for everything.

Dun dun dun!!!!

Holy shit!!!!!

Who do you think is going to start the war???

What does it mean to be the moons warrior?

Do you think nova went through what she did for a reason??

The answers from the oracle and the packs show up next chap.

We gotta see who is bringing what to the table!!!!!!

WHO LOVED THE FACT THAT NOVA JUST GAVE UP ON BEING RESERVED AND DECIDED TO GO IN HEADFIRST WOTH LOVE!?!

and who was glad to see deacon back? Now we know he never wanted to do those things...

Nova is very special. She works for the moon now.