88. The Change

Here it is guys.

The last chapter of the story.

IM KIDDING I ADDED A FEW MORE!!!!!

I KNOW... go ahead. Bring the laughter. The "omg when will this story end!?" Comments.. and the "omg i just want to see it over and done with!'" Comments. -- well sorry! Not sorry. I needed to add something so two more chaps it is. And then thats it for real.

Yall would be surprised at the people who want me to just keep addding more lol but there are those few lil ratch's that want it to hurry up and come to a close. (I think those are the ones just here for the smutt anyway) 🤗

Now there WILL be quite a few epilogues so do not fret.

But i want to take the time out and give a sincere heart felt THANK YOU for every one of you who have commented and voted for every single chapter.  Also for those of you silent readers who dont vote, just you sticking with my story and viewing the page, im so greatful.

Im thankful for EACH AND EVERY pm and post to my wall!! You guys are so awesome and so loveable!!! Im glad to have made friends with my readers!!

Youve made me want to be better!

Therefore, shatter will be undergoing surgery after the last chap. Dont worry the epilogues will still come and they will be great. Promise. We havent seen the last of eden maxim nova X Nic and grace. Nor their pups ;)

I love you all so much!

Thank you for making shatter #1 a few weeks back! Maybe it will get there again! Its usually #2 or #3 after a post!

Lets start shall we? Enough of this sappy crap.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

NOVA

(This is her story afterall)

*Three weeks Later*

"Mom I don't know what's wrong with him. He's just... not himself." I sighed, staring down into my cup of herbal tea as i sat at the kitchen island at my parents house, mom sitting to my left.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cry but i couldn't.  I needed to stay strong.

Her soft hand covered my own and i looked up to her sad light green eyes. "Honey. What happened? Did you two have a fight? Why has it taken you so long to say something to me? Two weeks is a long time for Zaryn to give you the cold shoulder.. tell me what happened." She coaxed me in her softest voice.

I had been living the past two weeks in lonliness, staying locked up in Zaryn's and my house.. not wanting to get out of bed. Im not even sure what happened myself.. but i need him.

If only Zaryn were here for me right now.. it would make it all the more better.

Being pregnant, i need to be around him all the time. The urge is overwhelming but i cant. He doesn't want to talk to me and I'm not even sure as to why.

Ever since the magical night he proposed to me three weeks ago, things had been so amazing for the next week. We had been spending time together and planning our future but i noticed a few days after he proposed, he began to change a little. He was still being a good mate but the look in his eyes, the far away stares.. the hardness on his features as he thought to himself... I felt like something was up with him.

So days later, exactly two weeks ago, i had the talk with him. The one i had put off having because of all the happenings but it needed to be done. I felt like it had something to do with how he was seeming so standoffish.

But the moment I brought it up and tried to coax it out of him, he snapped. A dark look crossed his eyes. One ill never forget. He didnt seem like himself anymore..

That wasn't my Zaryn..

That had been X. Alpha of Crescent Moon pack, ordering me not to bring it up again.

And i cant.. because he gave me an order. One I have to follow, as he is my Alpha. Being Luna, i still have to follow his command. Its in my wolfs nature to submit to him. He may be my mate but he is also my Alpha.

I sighed, feeling the lonliness sink inside me - a longing for my mate. I hadn't been feeling well as of late but I needed to get this out to someone. Who better than my mom.

Biting my lip as i sat with hunched shoulders beside her, I began to recall the night it all happened. Remebering the "talk" as if it were yesterday.

I had been standing in front of the mirror, turning side to side, inspecting my belly to see how it had grown which was only slightly. I just looked healthier.

My eyes flashed to movement in the mirrors reflection and i saw Zaryn there, standing.. watching.

"Hey beautiful, I was looking for you." Zaryn smiled down at me through the mirror's reflection but it never reached it eyes, his arms going around my waist. I closed my eyes with a smile on my face, sighing as I leaned back into him.

"I missed you." My eyes opened and i was leaned back so i could see his angular clean shaven jawline.

"Oh yeah?" He mused, peering down at me with a small quirk of his lips but it wasnt sincere. It was a mask.

"What were you up here thinking about? You seemed so lost in thought that you never realised i was here.  Ive been watching you for a few minutes now." His head cocked to the side and i turned in his arms.. laying my chin against his chest.

"Time.. how it passes.. how things change. How our lives have changed.." i trailed off, not wanting to just come out and say, "how you broke my heart and ripped it out of my chest only to shove it back in and sew it up with stitches of love to make me whole again." That would be a little overkill but it was exactly how i thought.

"This time last year, you hated me." Zaryn's forhead creased. "And i deserved it." Hands trailed up my back to cup my cheeks.. his blue skies searching the grass green orbs of mine. "I mean it when i say I'll make it up to you for the rest of your life. Ive always only loved just you. Always." He seemed to fall into that thinking pit he went to whenever we talked about this subject, his brows furrowing as the gears in his mind churned.

I may as well trap him while he's thinking.. its time. I want his head clear before the bonding / corronation ceremony and wedding in a month.

The wedding... of which we will officially share the same last name. Something other wolves don't have to bother with but i see this as an honor... a dream come true. I dont know why more mated wolves dont partake in this.. its an extewmely overwhelming feeling of love for your mate..

"Zaryn.." i took his large rough hand in mine and tugged, pulling him to our large bed. He followed with that curious frown and sat next to me on my side of the bed. Turning to face him, i tucked my legs under me.. smoothing my dress over my baby bump that thankfully wouldn't show in my wedding dress when time came.

My eyes found his suspicious gaze. "I dont want to talk about the past. I don't want you to get sucked into it. It happened and we need to focus on the here and now. I forgave you.. you forgave me. Lets just be.. happy." Taking his hand palm side up, i pressed my cheek against it before kissing it.

He smiled down at me but it didn't reach his eyes yet again. Something had been off about him the last few days even though we had spent it in bliss.. he just seemed.. not himself.

I took both his hands in mine as he watched me intently.  "Zaryn." I met his gaze. "I want to talk to you about the letter your brother sent to you from the moon. And your mom. Its time. Let the feelings come out.. let me help you with your pain. Please? I know you think about them often.. and i know you're hurting. Let me help you.." I pled to him with my eyes as i held his hands.

His jaw clenched slightly as he dropped his gaze to our hands. "You read the letter. You know what it said. And i dont really want to talk about my mom. Shes not here anymore." He tried to take his hands out of mine but i held on.

"Zaryn." This wasnt like him to close up on me. "Please. Im your mate. Soon to be your wife. Im your Luna. If you cant talk to me then who?"

He let out a huff, snapping his eyes to mine. They were hard as they landed on me.. the sweet moment we shared moments ago, over with.  "Fine.  What do you want to know? You want me to get emotional? Cry like a baby? Ive done those already." He snapped and i instantly flinched, my brows raising.

"I just.. thought you'd want to talk about it " i whispered lowly.  "I know you carry guilt.. for everything.  I just want to know whats been going through your mind. I can see something is getting to you lately. Ever since the proposal.  The wedding is coming up and i know you are thinking about your mom and Deacon.." i whispered softly.

He instantly got uncomfortably agitated.  Even my wolf wanted me to give him some space because of the dominance he exuded at the moment but my healing powers.. they could work on him too. If he would let me. If i actually knew how these powers of mine worked.. just talking? Coaxing? Im not sure.

But i wasnt giving up.

"Zaryn i know you miss your brother.  I know you've felt so guilty for killing him.. but that was the moons plan.  He was sick. You saved me.. protected me. And now hes happy. He's better. And he forgives you." I reminded him.

He crossed his arms over his chest, just starting at me.. his top lip twitched as if he wanted to growl at me but he reigned it in. I could feel the anger from him through the bond but i wasn't sure why. He was confusing me.. where was his mind?

"Nova. I know he forgave me. I read the letter too. Im happy for him." He gritted out.

My forehead creased in confusion. "What about your mom? I know you have been thinking of her... how you didnt-"

"Look." He stood abruptly. "I dont have time for this dr. Phill shıt Nova. I dont want to talk about it." He shook his head, holding his hands up before dropping them, a distant expression on his gace

"Zaryn.. please. Just tell me what's wrong! Tell me how i can make it better.  I love you. I dont want to see you hurt." I gazed up at him with love and compassion but he was shut off.. void of any emotion aside from anger that began to rise.

"Stop! Just stop Nova!" He yelled at me, growling out his words.

My eyes widened in shock as hurt washed over me. He hasn't ever talked to me this way. Instinctively my hands covered my slightly protruding belly as he continued, his eyes darkening even more as he loomed over me.

"Youre taking this whole 'ive been touched by the moon, im the moons warrior' thing a little too seriously.  You're her minion. Nothing more. So dont come to me trying out your special new shiny gift because im not your guinea pig." His spat, lip raised.

I stood from the bed slowly as my hand covered my heart, willing myself not to tear up from his hurtful words.

I was a great warrior when i had been training. It wasnt like i had chosen this path.. the moon had.

"Zaryn what's wrong with you? Why are you being this way? You've never acted like this towards me." I kept my guard up.

The hormones from the pregnancy had my emotions on a roller coaster as it was.. but this... this wasnt zaryn.

He let out an aggravated sigh. "im tired of my mate trying to fix everyone just because the moon told you to! I came up here just to talk to you about the wedding and you bring up my dead family. Way to ruin things, Nova. I cant deal with this right now." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he side stepped me walking toward the door.

I felt a pang in my heart. Yeah he has been acting weird lately but nothing like this.. this is the first time he has hurt my feelings.  And it made me mad. Tears formed in my eyes as i watched his retreating form go, a sudden anger spiking through me.

"Zaryn! " i called out and he stopped in his tracked, head turning to the side but eyes  on the floor. "You have been acting off for days but what you just said to me? Thats not my mate. Why wont you tell me what's wrong? I thought we fixed things! We just had a discussion about it moments ago! What happened to the "ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you?" You closed me off and started being nasty when i brought up Penelope and Deac-"

He turned with an evil glint in his eyes, growling. "I said i dont want to talk about it Nova!" He roared out of nowhere. Why was he getting so upset?

Frowning at him, i felt a tear roll down my cheek and he rushed to me in two strides, glaring hard as he took my jaw in his large hand, fingers pressing into me hard, his eyes dark and distant but i could feel his wolf whining to mine in our bond.

"I. Said. I. Don't.  Want. To. Talk. About It. Go fix someone else. I command you, as your Alpha. Never bring my family's death up again.  No more trying fix me, Nova." He growled, shoving my face back as he stormed out of the room.

I was left in confusion.

What had just happened?

I collapsed on the bed as tears rolled down my cheeks faster. His words had stung like acid. My wolf whimpered inside me but his had as well when he communicated to us.. his wolf didn't like how he was behaving either.. not towards us. His wolf is protective of the pups. The wolf should have dominated the skin when Zaryn had lashed out at me and taken over. His wolf should have protected me but it was like he couldn't get through.. like the skin side was blocking the wolfs instincts.. and that's not good.

He was fine. He had been acting strange, yes. But he was fine up until I begin talking about his mom and brother. And that's when he snapped on me. Told me that I need to stop trying to fix him....

Something wasnt right...

This wasn't Zaryn.

Zaryn would never speak to me nor look at me in such a way...

Taking a deep breath, i held my back straight and my head high as i wiped the tears from my face.

The moon had blessed me with a gift.. and now with Zaryn's command... using an Alpha order on me.. for something like this.. I will never be able to help him. Its my job as his mate to help him...

I am the moon's warrior and i will do her bidding. But it looks like it wont be toward Zaryn.

But my gut told me something was wrong.  .

That male... the one that just turned his Alpha command on me for a silly reason.. grabbing my face..

That wasn't my Zaryn...

That moment was the last time i had really talked to Zaryn in a month. I had tried to approach him again but he took off, left me.

Every night he comes home, he's covered in blood and gashes. I pretend to be asleep as he goes to shower then comes to bed.. never saying a word.  If i talk, he ignores me. He leaves our bed early morning before i  wake up. I never see him. For two weeks its been this way and he won't let me reach out to him.

I know he feels my emotions through the bond. My lonliness.. my heart ache.. but the twins.. they keep me happy.

Mom stared at me in disbelief, "And nothing else happened? You just.. tried to talk to him?"

I nodded, a lone tear falling from my eye.

I hated feeling weak.

A loud growl errupted from behind us and mom and i turned to see dad and Blake standing at the back door they had apparently been standing at for the duration of my recollection of memories I shared with mom.

Dad strode forward with the look of rage in his eyes. "Did he hurt you?"

Sighing, "not physcially dad. Just emotionally."

Dad's wolf was trying to surface. "Im going to have a talk with that mate of yours."

Blake stormed up beside him.. a murderous look in his eyes. "And I'll join you. I wont tolerate him lashing out at you that way Nova. But I think i know whats happening." His frown deepened as a grave expression washed over his handsome features.

Both dad and Blake were good looking males.. but both of them could be just as deadly when it came to family.. their faces could make the most menacing expressions.

Blake sighed and reached for my hand.. his blue familiar eyes gazing at me softly. "Maybe you should stay here for a while." .

Frowning, i shook my head. "The wedding is in a month. I need to figure out whats going on with him, Blake. Or.. " my eyes shifted to the floor. "We wont be having it." My words were choked out.

I couldn't imaging not being with Zaryn.. but how he is now? It scares me.  For our future and for the pups..

I felt moms hand rub my back soothingly. "Honey lets not think about that right now. Just get your things and come back home for a while okay?"

I met her soft gaze as dad stood over me. "Mom i need to be there. What if-"

"No." Dad's voice was low and dominant as he spoke. "You're coming back home. At least until we can figure out whats happening with Zaryn.  A mate should never act that way to his female. His wolf should always intervene. If he didnt.. then something is wrong." He seemed to be in thought as i just watched everyone with sadness.

"He's right, Nova. Go get your things. Zaryn's training so you have plenty of time." Blake suggested.

I felt like my heart was being crushed.  Zaryn has had his walls up for the last  week.. not letting me communicate with him.. not being able to feel my pain.  He put it up after the first week of solitude because my wold was whining to his.. wanting him to come to us. My emotions which were already all over the place, had gotten to him and he put up the walls around his mind so i couldn't sense him and he couldn't sense me.

It was maddening.

Sliding off the barstool, i instinctively held my small bump where the pups were growing. "Okay." I relented, walking toward the door.

I paused, peering back at the three of them with their worried expressions. "I'll be back in half an hour.."

Mom nodded with a sad smile and Dad frowned. "Dont be too long."

With a tight smile, i walked out the front door and shut it behind me.

No one was out and about today.. it was a rainy day. I sighed, opening my umbrella and trudged on down the road in my rain boots.. letting the raindrops mask my tears as i cried to myself.

Why? Moon goddess, why do i have to continually go through heart ache? Why cant i have that happiness that most wolves get? Why do i constantly have to be tested with things that break me down?

They say everything happens for a reason.. maybe this is to make me emotionally stronger? I dont know. But I feel like its tearing me apart.  My wolf is silent because of how her heart hurts too.. will any of this ever just be okay?

Walking toward our home.. house.. My rainboots splashed a few puddles as the rain drizzled down from the grey sky. Of course Zaryn would still be training today..

I kept thinking about the wedding.. about the pups..

Whatever was wrong with Zaryn, could it be fixed? Will our pups have a father? One that loves them and is safe for them to be around?

My heart clenched at the thought.. the seams from where it had been stitched back together, pulsated inside my chest.

This hurt.

Walking up the steps to the house i now shared with Zaryn, i pulled my rainboots off and closed the umbrella, leaving them by the door before I stepped inside the warmth of the house. The smell of morrocan bazaar scented oils i had picked out permeated through the air.

Feeling the cold seep through my bones, i made my way up the stairs to the bedroom we shared and looked around with my heart in my throat. The comfort of our combined scents swirled around me and i teared up once more.. thinking about how i may not even come back here if things dont work out. If he would just talk to me! But hes ignoring me like the plague.

I won't marry him like this. I refuse to. I may be his mate but i wont go through the coronation ceremony with him or the wedding like this.

I want to help him but he is pushing everyone away - staying at the training fields all day.. pushing the pack..

The wolves are finding it hard to be around him again.. his wolf too much for theirs. His skin too much... from what i hear. I havent seen much of him. Im assuming the wolf is taking his anger out at Zaryn on the others and Zaryn is punishing the wolf for being angry at him.. i honestly dont know whats going on.

I just don't know what happened..

I want to understand.. but he refuses to talk to me.

Im hurt.

I feel... sad.

The twins and my family are all i have to keep me going right now and i cant even bring myself to tell Eden, Grace or my brother..

I feel like a failure.  Like i did something wrong.

But there's that voice inside me that tells me its not me. That it's him.

These hormones are driving my and my wolf crazy. We just need our mate...

Sighing angrily, i wiped the tears away and decided to take a hot shower first before i began packing. The cold had sunken down to my bones. I haven't been able to eat much as of late and i believe I'm becoming a bit anemic. Its harder for me to stay warm.

I know its not healthy for the pups growing inside me but I can't help it. My stomach just doesn't agree with me.. my nerves are all over the place.

Just like last time.

I strode to the ensuite bathroom, taking my jacket and shirt off as I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"Who am i anymore?" I whispered to my reflection, the deep dark circles under my eyes staring back at me. My chestnut hair had become darker since staying indoors.. my usually bright green eyes were a light sage.  Like the fire was being snuffed out of me..

Lifting my arms, i removed my bra and the rest of my clothing. A glimpse of the black symbol on my inner bicep caught my eyes and I paused, lifting my arms over my head.

The warrior symbol stared back at me along with the metallic black tattoo that had formed on me during my dream by deacons grave. The symbol of the Moon's warrior.

Some warrior I've turned out to be..

Standing naked in front if the mirror, my arms raised above my head and bent at the elbow, i suddenlt felt a tingling sensation all over my body that had my skin goosing and it gave me a pleasure i didn't want. His scent enveloped me and i closed my eyes.

"Now this is something i like to come home to." Zaryn's deep voice sounded from the doorway and i immediately dropped my arms, folding them over my breasts as my heart rate spiked

He wasn't supposed to be here. If i leave while he's here.. well lets just say im agraid to know what he will do.

Never bothering to look his way, i kept a mask of indifference on my face and stood still in front of the mirror with my arms covering my breasts as he came closer.

He came to stand behind me.. looking at me in the mirrors reflection.  My heart hammered in my chest as I spared him a glance ...

Only in a pair of basketball shorts, his hard and large sculpted chest had cuts and gashes here and there.. blood drying down him. Veins were prominent in those large arms of his and i couldn't stop myself from licking my lips.

Even when i didnt want to be attracted to him, i was. There was no helping it. If one mate wants physical attention from the other and the other isnt in the mood.. they easily become 'in the mood' because that's the way the moon made us. Its impossible for one mate to tale advantage of the other because of how aroused the bond will make you..

And that's what i was afraid of right this very moment..

Inhaling sharply, i could sense his arousal.. as if it werent evident in his shorts. Peering up higher at his face.. that handsome face i fell in love with.. the one that break a million hearts. Goddess gave him a face that is too handsome for his own damn good.

But his eyes.. there was no light to them.  He stared back at me with the darkness in them.. accompanied by lust.

His fingers trailed down my spine and I gasped at the sensation, bowing my back inward to get away from his intoxicating touch.

A frown marred his perfect face as he turned to me. "You know.. its been a while.. since.." his words were whispered as his fingers drew patterns over my waist and over to my opposite hip. My eyes squeezed shut and i tried to fight the sensations but it was no use. My wolf howled inside my mind.. preening for her mate. His wolf wanted out.. i could feel it despite the wall he had put up around his mind.

"Open your eyes Nova." His voice turned husky and i felt myself become aroused despite my efforts to fight it off as he moved right behind me.

Opening my eyes slowly, his hands took my hips in their grasp and he pulled me flush against his front.  I inhaled sharply at the contact.. how soothing his touch was to my stomach.. my nerves.. he calmed me. But in a way there was a different feel to him.. a dangerous one.

"Zaryn ..no." my voice was weak as he held me against him.. his excitment obvious against my lower back. My breathing picked up as my cheeks became flush. Our eyes locked in the mirror and he rose a brow.. lowering his face to my neck but never taking his eyes off mine.

"You say no.... but your body is telling me yes." A sly smirk appeared, his hands moving to grip my wrists and bring them down to my sides, revealing my breasts to him once more.

A low rumble tumbled out of his chest... eyes always watching me. I swallowed hard.. not wanting to do this.. in my mind at least. But my body screamed for him to take me.. however he liked.

He tucked his nose against my neck and inhaled, his eyes fluttering  closed before they opened again, glowing with the wolf but he seemed to struggle.. pushing the wolf away as his eyes flickered between the two colors.

"Now... tell me why my mate would tell me no?" He murmured against my neck as his hands trailed up my hips, resting on my abdomen.. caressing me gently. "You've lost weight." He frowned slightly, his hands rubbing my swollen belly.

Well at least he remembers im carrying our pups...

"I dont. want. to do this. Zaryn." I gritted out between clenched teeth, in an attempt to keep from moaning as his hands traveled up my sides slowly.

My body began to shake with the way he touched me so delicately, our eyes still locked in place through the mirror.

His frown deepened, "and why not?"

Narrowing my eyes at him, "Because of you I've lost weight. I've been sick for weeks .. not holding down my meals with no mate to help me through. Im sad. Im emotional. And most of all im mad as hell. Im angry." I kept my tone soft but my words held a punch.

His gaze shifted to my baby bump, a worried look in his eyes as his hands haulted their assault on me. That flicker of emotion .. that let me know he was still there.. my Zaryn.  His wolf communicated me his distress and Zaryn's eyes flashed momentarily.. the wolf wanting to do what Zaryn wasnt: comfort me.

But he pushed it away.

His features transformed and the worry that his eyes once held was now gone.. replaced with something dark as those baby blue eyes snapped up to meet mine, another sly smirk on those full lips. "Lets focus on that anger then..." he growled into my ear, bending to nip at my mark.

As disgusted as i was by his behavior just now, i couldn't help the slight whimper of pleasure once his teeth met my flesh and his tongue flicked out to taste the hormones leeching from my skin.

Instinctively, my body melted into him but my features screwed up into a hateful glare as he watched me in the mirror. One hand cupped my breast as the other traveled lower causing me to take a shaky breath.

"You don't even care do you?" I whispered, just wanting him to be far away from me. My wolf wanted to be closer though. If she took over.. he would get what he wanted. Thankfully i have enough strength to push her back. "You don't care that I'm hurting.. that im not able to feed our pups.. would you care if they died? If i died?"

His movements haulted once more, the hand kneading my breast stopped completely... the other hand paused its descent, right below my abdomen. His frown returned. "Of course i care. What kind of question is that?"

Turning abruptly in his hold, i glared up at him, feeling the tears rushing forth. "Why have you been acting the way you have towards me? Do you not want to be mated to me anymore? Do you not want this family with me?" I asked the question that's been playing in my mind for weeks.

This is the one time I've actually been able to talk to him.. face to face without him walking out on me and thats only because im naked and he wants to get the prize..

He reamined stoic, hands dropping to his side but our scents of arousal combined in the air and the heat could be felt from the few inches between our bodies.

"You won't understand it. I dont even understand it.. but im still here. Its still me. I just dont want you in my head. You might not like what you see. Of course i want you.. i want our family. You're mine. Im not going to just let you go, silly wolf." He brushed his nose against mine, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

His lips were so close to mine. "If you have to put your walls up.. then something is wrong. We should be letting the bond be free to work as it wants.. and no. This isn't you. This isnt the zaryn that proposed to me three weeks ago.. giving me the most magnificent night of my life.. you said youd spend forever making things up to me and you've done nothing but hurt me since." My glassy gaze stayed trained on his hard one. I searched his face.. looking for any sign of my zaryn but finding none. It was like looking at a stranger.  "Whats so wrong with your thoughts that youd block them from me? Just answer me that." It was barely above a whisper.. I was getting choked on my own words.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I dont want to talk about it. I just.. i want my mate." His eyes opened narrowed to slits. "Now."

The hurt i felt showed on my face as i backed away from him but he stepped closer, eyeing me like a predator. "You arent the wolf I fell in love with.  I dont even know who you are right now and that scares me." I said, keeping my voice soft as not to make him snap.

He pressed his body into mine.. head cocked to the side as he smirked. "You should be scared." He whispered back. "You don't have to love me.. but i love you. And i wont let you go. Ever. You're always going to be mine." His husky whisper chilled my skin as his hand covered my abdomen. "These pups are mine too. We will be a family. If its attention you want then ill give it to you.. if that will keep you from being sick..  ill give you all the attention you need." His lust full stare increased and i knew he wasnt talking about 'regular' attention.

My eyes widened and my heart beat frantically as he bent down. "Zaryn let your wolf out." I quickly sputtered. He paused, scrutinizing me. "I havent seen him in a while. I want to see him. Let him out. Please."

A knowing smirk crossed his mouth. "I dont think so. You're with me right now."

He knew i knew that he was holding his wolf back from me..

But why?

I didnt have time to think when his lips descended onto mine, searing my flesh. I didnt respond immediately.. my eyes going wide, but it was hard to fight the pull.  His hands reached around, cupping my aşş and bringing me into him as he nipped my bottom lip and i melted.. allowing him to kiss me..

And i kissed him back.

Its uncontrollable.. even when you are hurt and angry you cant stop your reaction..

I moaned as his tongue invaded my mouth and hands roamed up my back, pressing me into his hard chest which had blood and cuts all over him..

My arms went around his neck and he lifted me. I squealed in surprise but his hold on me never wavered. Locking my ankles around his back so i wouldn't fall, i dove head first in the kiss but it wasnt like the others we have had.. this one was domineering.. agressive.. no sensuality in it at all.

He walked me into the shower, turning the knobs with one hand as he pressed me into the wall.. mouth leaving mine to trail down my neck to my mark. I gasped, thrusting into him. His strength was pouring out .. filling the air around us. It was off a little.. different from how it normally smelled.

"Zaryn.. stop." I breathed out between lung fulls of air.

The shower sprayed against the tile, missing our bodies as he pulled down his shorts with one hand and kicked them away. I could feel him against me as that free hand that wasnt holding me, dove between out bodies and slid against my entrance. I bit my lip to keep from gasping and moaning but the shudder told him all he needed to know.

"Doesn't feel like you want me to stop." He smirked against my neck.

Screw this.

I cant go through with this.

Only one thing will make him leave me alone..

"Zaryn your brother would be so disappointed in you right now. So would your mother." It was a low blow but it was what i needed to say.

He stopped, jerking his head away from me as he glared.  His nostrils flared, lip raising.  "You're bringing this up? Again? Now?" He laughed bitterly, shaking his head as he dropped me gently so my feet hit the wet tile.

"You really don't want my attention do you mate?" He cocked his head. "You complain about not getting it but the moment you do... you try to piss me off and make me turn away from you again." His tone had me wilting.. he was angry..

He lunged at me and i closed my eyes tight but he stopped right in front of me, punching the tile wall. I heard the crack of glass.. shards falling from where he punched through it and forced my eyes open. He was seething mad.. nose inches from mine.

"Im your Alpha, Nova. You will show me respect and abide by my command. I told you never to bring them up again!!!" He roared in my face making me flinch.

That only made me angry. I met his glare with my own.  "No! Your wolf is my Alpha! You're just my mate!" I screamed at him.. full of my own rage. "And you said never to talk about them to you! Not mention them!! But im right! They would be disappointed in you! Your father is! I can tell you that much!" My voice only became louder.

His glare turned icy. "You told my dad?"

I gave him a curt nod. "About everything. "

He snorted, shaking his head as he backed away from me. "You know what Nova? Have a good night. Dont wait up. I feel like shedding some blood so its probably best if im not around you."

He turned to walk away and i gaped, calling after him. "You would dare to hurt me? And our pups?" Disbelief in my voice.

He paused, turning to me with a bored expression. "No. Which is why im leaving. May go to human territory.. let the wolf out to play." He leered at me.. up and down my body.  "When i do come back.. im going to tape that mouth of yours shut so you cant ruin the moment next time." He said before walking away, leaving me wide eyed and hurt.

Who is this wolf?

Who is this person at all???

I let the sobs rack my body as i slid down the tiles.

What has happened to my mate? To the male who claims he loves me? This isnt love...

---------

I didn't waste the hot water, deciding to take my shower and pack my things. I wasnt staying here any longer and he made that decision so much easier for me to make.

Standing under the spray of hot water, i let the tension release from muscles.. rinsing the conditioner out of my hair before shutting off the water and grabbing a towel. Drying myself, i wrapped the towel around my body, deciding how I would go about this as i walked toward the mirrored sink.. steam billowing behind me, chewing my lip with determination.

My gaze became scrutinizing as i lifted my arm and studied both symbols on my body...

The warrior symbol... one of north and south with four marks for expert.  No female has this in the entire country but me. I was once such a good warrior..

And then there was one the moon put on me. I wasn't just a warrior on land.. I'm a warrior for the moon. I may be working for her.. but its not a bad thing like Zaryn made it out to be the night we fought.

It's a gift.

Im a warrior. Im a Luna. I won't let this moment define me...

Anger spiked through me at Zaryn.. the way he has been treating me. Ignoring me when i need him... making me suffer and inadvertently making our pups suffer.  It takes two to tango and he has left me on my own.. becoming detached.

I refuse to let him do this to me.. im stronger than this. I've been through worse and if worse does come to worse? I will care for these pups on my own. I have something to keep me going.

Them.

Whatever is going on with him, i dont deserve this.  His promise to make it all up to me has suddenly become empty.

A surge of power emanate from within me with every strong thought i had about myself... a strength I havent felt since I had stopped hating the world... it felt bright.. magical.. I knew then that this was the power the moon had given me.

Closing my eyes, i searched through the bond. His wall was closed, as it has been since his sudden change but something raging within me was able to crash into that wall.. kicking it down with a force and i let my anger rush through it.. finally able to mind link him after so long.

Zaryn i am calling off the wedding.  I don't know why you are acting this way towards me but you have broken your promise to me. You treat me as if im nothing to you anymore and you hurt me. You hurt my heart. We may be bonded but i refuse to go through with the ceremony and the wedding with you like this. Something is wrong with you and you are acting as if your humanity is just gone. I cant do this. I cant hurt anymore and you wont let me help you. Im not as weak as i was before. I will take my pups and we will leave you be if this is what you truly want because i wont subject them to their father being a shell of what they truly need. If im going to do this by myself.. then i will be by myself.  Im a warrior.  Im strong. You said you loved me. Loved the pups. But im starting to think you're a liar. I don't know whats wrong because you wont talk to me.  But im not going through with the ceremonies.  Either of them.  Not until you are you again.  You've broken my heart once before over and over. I wont let you do it again."

I could feel his rage pouring through the bond and I immediately closed my walls up - satisfied with my decision.  It breaks my heart that he is being like this.. refusing to let me help when he knows i can... I feel so...

Lost.

If he ordered me not to talk to him about things that clearly still bothered him.. how would this work? We are supposed to talk.. work things out together..

Wrapping the towel around my, i quickly made my way to the bedroom to dress and pack.

My attention was shifted and my wolf was on high alert as i heard the front door slam, an angry growl ripping through the air and feet running up the stairs.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up but i kept my focus on the dresser mirror in front of me.  The same one that Zaryn and I had had our last  conversation in before he became distant toward me.

His heavy stomps came to a hault and my eyes flickered to his reflection in the mirror, standing behind in the doorway. Naked. Covered in dirt, sweat and a few bloody gashes. But more than that, his eyes were dark. Almost pitch black as they watched me in narrowed slits, his chest heaving with anger, breathing harsh. Fists were clenched at his sides.

I felt a feralness to him as i let down my walls.  His wolf was there, fighting it but there was something else too.

He stalked toward me and i whipped to face him with a calm demeanor. He reached me in no time, body shaking as he loomed over me.

"You dare tell me you will leave me? After all That's happened!?" He roared, his hand shooting out to clamp around my neck firmly but not painfully.  I gasped in surprise and he was flinging me on the soft bed, my towel falling off me leaving me bare for him.

His hungry eyes raked over me but fear crept inside.

Who was this?

He climbed over me, teeth clinched and elongated as he put his hand around my neck once more..

My lips parted and for the first time in a long time, i felt real unfiltered fear.

Our naked bodies pressed together as he leaned down and my breath hitched as his hand became tighter around my throat.

He sneered.  "You arent going anywhere with my pups. I can command it. You will go through the ceremony to become official Luna and you wil become my wife whether you like it or not." A darkness overtook him and i found myself afraid. His hand cupped my belly as the other still around my neck remained and he lowered himself to whisper in my ear.

"These pups are mine. If you think of leaving me.. ill hunt you down and I'll take you. All three of you. I'll tie you to this bed so you can never leave me. And if you try to run again? I'll take my pups from you." He seethed out, spitting his words at me.

Heat emitted from my chest like a fire and the anger built up again.

How dare he treat me this way!!!

"How about i just stay home tonight.. go ahead and tie you down right here.  Ill bring you food to eat.. feed you straight from my hand. That's what you want right?" He seethed out again.

I began shaking in rage and fury.. my wolf madder than hell at her skin sided mate. It was like she pushed me aside, stepping forth to greet him as her eyes flicked open to him with their glow. I struggled beneath his weight and his hand around my throat became tighter.

Finally something snapped inside me... i felt myself scream at the top of my lungs.. "GET OFF OF ME!!!!!" I screamed so loud that it shook him and something zapped him.. an electric spark from me to him and he was flying off of me onto the floor.

Getting up, my breath came out in pants as i stood naked, angry, and ready to kick some aśś.

He lunged at me but there was some sort of forcefield around me.. charging with blue electric energy. He bounced right off of it.. landing back on the ground and his eyes flashed gold..  his wolf breaking free finally.

Zaryn peered up at me with his wolfs eyes..  confusion in them..  "w-what..?" His wolf was communicating to me through his body. The wolf had finally had a chance to break free of the bind zaryn had put on him..

I knelt down, grabbing my towel and wrapped it around me as i gazed at my mate who was now uncontrollably shifting into his wolf.

Grey fur sprouted from pores and bones crackled.. a painful shift for him as it was forced by his wolf.

Standing there shocked, Zaryn's large wolf stood before me, his eyes sad as he gazed up at me.

He whimpered,  bowing his head in submission as he approached me slowly.. wary. Carefully trying not to spook me.

Still crouched, my frown fell from my face and i watched my mate as he sought for my forgiveness.. it wasnt the wolfs fault.

Holding my hand out, he sniffed it before licking it.. nuzzling my hand with his jaw. My heart melted. His wolf had no part in his behavior..  his wolf loves me just the same.

"Its okay, my Alpha wolf. I know it isnt your fault. I love you." Tears sprung to my eyes and the wolf wagged his tail, huddling to me and pressing his nose to my mark. He licked it, tickling me.

Angling his head again in submission, i was surprised. My Alpha wolf was submitting to my skin.. giving me his loyalty and love. No alpha wolf would go this far.. unless he had done something awful..

Zaryn's wolf lowered his head, sniffing my belly through the towel and a low whine came forth. With tears leaking out of my eyes, i scratched behind his ear.

"Dont worry. Im going to help him anyway i can. Im going to fix this." I promised the wolf..

He understood perfectly, his head bowing briefly as a nod.

I stared at my hands...

How did i just do what i did moments ago? Was that part of my power??

What the hell is going on?

Suddenly the door banged open and Zaryn's wolf turned, guarding me with his body as a feral snarl ripped from his mouth, teeth long and sharp.. ready to rip open throats. He hasnt been around me in weeks..

My dad and Blake stood there with worried faces and i instantly huddled into myself in the towel as they looked elsewherr.

"Its okay." I whispered to The wolf , my hand rubbing his fur.

"Its been an hour. We thought something happened." Dad spoke, staring at the wall away from me. Grabbing a robe, i stood and covered myself, things the sash.

"Something did happen.  You can look now."

The wolf stayed at my legs, guarding me as he postured but no longer snarling as he recognized his father and beta.

They turned toward me, agression thick between the three males.

"We have a problem.."

Things got real serious real fast...

I dont know whats about to happen or whats happening to me...

All i know is that im tired of all this drama..

I want to find out whats happening to me and whats going to happen to Zaryn...

I just hope he stays in his wolf form for a while..

Dun dun dun!!!

Omg yall i had to add this!!!

I felt like her powers and his strength wasnt played on enough and we need to see what happens with the both of them bc that was a major part of the story!!!!

What do you think is wrong with X????

And who will Nova call for help????

YALL GOT YOUR EXTRA CHAPTERS!! FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO BEGGED FOR IT LOL