Chapter 2

Roza’s heart felt like it was breaking all over again now that she was back at home. Why did she have to go to the Alpha games? She could have stayed home and avoided the heartache, but god it was so nice to see him again. Roza missed him. It was as if he never aged. In her eyes, he was still as handsome as ever. His thick dark brown hair a tousled mess on his head and the sharp chiseled jaw line she remembered kissing.

She hugged Maksim closer to her chest. He was what she had left of him and every time she looked at her son, she saw him. It helped eased the pain in her chest as her days turned into years. She was so broken when she found out he had left her alone in the cabin.

Waking up to him not being there was like a slap in the face and she cried her heart out. When her father found her she told her father what happened. Her father was livid and wanted to go up to their Alpha to demand to talk to Nikolai’s father and see why Nikolai denied his own mate, but Roza wouldn’t allow it.

If he has his reasons, who was she to stop him? If he didn’t want her, she wasn’t going to bend his arm. When she found out she had conceived his pup, she was shocked and angry but not at their pup. She was angry at Nikolai.

Her anger grew and grew as the years went by and he never asked about her. It hurt her beyond anything and just when she was about to get over him. She saw him again.

And it was as if... all that work of building a great wall to block him from hurting her was all for nothing. It all came crumbling down.

“Roza, darling, are you really okay?” Her father asked her for the seventh time.

“I’m fine.” It was something she said so frequently that it was just words to her now. Nothing more. It didn’t express what she truly felt in her heart but it calmed the people around her.

“Roza.” Her father scolded gently. “I know you, моя дочь (my daughter), you are not fine. Tell me what is bothering you.”

Her father moved to sit across from her in her room. She glanced away from Maksim and to her father. A tear slipped from her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You do, волчонок (little wolf).” He sighed. “It’s okay to miss him. He is your mate after all.”

“It’s so hard.” She said hoarsely trying not to cry. Blinking harshly back what felt like tears. She promised never to shed a tear for him again.

“волчонок (little wolf), why do you torture yourself like this? Mate with someone else and end the bond.” Her father encouraged feeling his daughter’s pain.

She shook her head immediately. “It would not be fair to Maksim or the man I marry when my heart does not belong to him.”

She was scrambling at this point, trying to put back up the walls that he so quickly knocked down with just a touch and a few words. She needed to stay strong for her and for Maksim. Glancing back at her son she knew she had to tell him sooner rather than later who his father was, but Maksim wasn’t at the stage that he was wondering yet with him only being two years old.

“I understand how you feel and I don’t blame you. It is your decision in the end and all I want is for you to be happy. I do not like to see you like this, волчонок. Please, try to cheer up.” He said and moved to give her a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder and inhaled deeply to stop herself from crying.

A knock on their front door broke their father and daughter moment. Roza’s father stood and walked to open the front door. A warrior stood there and as soon as the door opened, the warrior’s gaze roamed the home until it landed on Roza.

“Evening, Igor.” The warrior acknowledged.

“What can we do for you?” Her father asked.

“I am afraid it is urgent. The Alpha has requested Roza’s presence immediately.” The warrior ordered.

“But why?” Her father questioned in confusion. What can the Alpha possibly want with Roza?

“I do not have the privilege to say anything more than this. Please, do as you are ordered, or I will be forced to take physical measures.” The warrior stated.

“Of course.” My father stepped aside and allowed the warrior in. The warrior stepped in and glanced at Roza again.

“Your presence is requested by the Alpha.” His gaze moved to find Maksim. “Your son as well.”

Roza’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She stood up and walked to block her son from the warrior in a protective stance. “Is it bad?”

The warrior hesitated to answer before nodding. “It is in regard to your mate.”

Nikolai’s heart wasn’t with him — has never been with him and seeing her again just confirmed just hollow he felt inside. For the first time ever, he was finding it hard to leave the Alpha games. He wanted to stay there just so he could see them.

Now, sitting in his office and sipping a tonic strong enough to knock even a werewolf out. He allowed the flashes of her face to appear in his mind, causing the ache in his chest to climb to an extremely painful height. Unconsciously, he moved to rub at his chest.

Upon arriving home, he refused to talk to anyone. Locked away in his office, he turned away anyone that tried to talk him out of leaving the office. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew that if he continued at this rate, his wolf will soon die and he will soon follow, but it was better than feeling pain every day. It was better than missing the life that he threw away.

Tossing back the strong bitter tonic that burned down his throat, he stood up and walked back to the cabinet to pour himself another cup. The cup was about halfway filled when his world spun around him. He grimaced as pain shot through his body to his head.

A scream hurled from him and he fell to his knees, dropping his glass and the bottle filled with tonic. Groaning and writhing on the floor, he clutched at his temple. His eyes were closed tight.

“Alpha!” His Beta and best friend shouted, and Nikolai heard the door being kicked down. Nikolai felt himself being picked up with his arm over his Beta’s shoulder.

“Dimitri.” Nikolai said hoarsely. “Put me down.”

“No! We have to get you to a bed.” He growled.

“I said put me down.” Nikolai commanded but weakly.

Dimitri’s step faltered a little and Nikolai could feel the hesitation in his dear friend.

“Please don’t command me, Nick. I am your friend. You are sick and I need you well.” Dimitri urged Nikolai.

Nikolai sighed in defeat and allowed his friend to carry him to his bed. Once he laid down he curled up into a ball. It was actually a little comical seeing Nikolai — a big strong man — curled into a fetal position.

“You are burning up, Nick. We need to cool you down immediately.” Dimitri muttered. Nikolai heard him shuffle around Nikolai’s room. He didn’t realize he had knocked out until Dimitri slapped him across the face.

“Did you just hit me?” Nikolai mumbled in pain.

“You fucking went unconscious for a moment there. Why are you so stubborn, Nick? You need her. Your wolf needs her. You are growing weak and this is the weakest I have ever seen you been.” Dimitri shouted in anger. “You need to take care of yourself. You have a pack to lead. You can’t be this careless.”

“Quiet.” Nikolai commanded. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do. Leave me alone.”

Nikolai has already given up. He didn’t want to think about anything else but death. He was actually looking forward to it. Sighing he allowed the darkness to take him over. He heard his friend mumble something before completely falling into oblivion.

When Nikolai woke back up again, Dimitri wasn’t alone. In his room on the edge of his bed was his mate — staring at him. Nikolai blinked a few times to see if he was dreaming or hallucinating, or maybe he had died and gone to heaven.

Yes, that was it.

Nikolai closed his eyes again and fell back into unconscious oblivion.

He woke up again to see that the room was dark. He groaned and adjusted his position in his bed until his eyes found his mate sitting on a chair. Her head resting on her arms as she was fast asleep. She was really here and his heart started beating again for the first time. He wasn’t dreaming.

Why was she here?

How did she get here?

He knew that Dimitri must’ve played a part in it. He has no doubt. His hand shakily moved to smooth back Roza’s black hair behind her ear, revealing her beautiful soft features for him to admire. She was truly beautiful.

With her here, his pain has subsided. She was his other half and his wolf was dying because of heartache and in turn, he was dying because he also was feeling his wolf’s pain. The reason why Roza didn’t feel any of what he was feeling was because of their son. Her life tied around their son and he was the one that kept her alive. Her pain wasn’t as great as his and her loneliness wasn’t as bad as his.

Roza’s wolf was a mother and with that her wolf grew stronger to stay alive and protect their son. On the other hand, Nikolai’s wolf was completely broken down after the Alpha games. Nikolai knew this because his wolf was distant and there was rarely a connection between them. Nikolai knew it had to do with seeing Roza and their son again. It only hurt them both more when they realized that they had missed the first few years of their son’s life.

Nikolai slowly traced her cheek before running his thumb on her lip. “Why are you here, Roza?”

She didn’t stir or say anything. She only snuggled closer to his hand, wanting the comfort of the tingle that was moving between that simple touch. His innocent mate and his heart. How can she ever forgive him?