Chapter 44

Celine Claire Presley

____

Ang sakit.

Ang sakit makitang masaya siya at may anak na rin siya.

I never really wanted to push her away. I never wanted it. I was just in pain that time. Hindi ako nag iisip. I wasn't even thinking before making an action.

I was terrified of her that day. What I saw—she was nothing like Alethea, the one I had loved and trusted. That day, she was someone unrecognizable. Her arms, her clothes—everything was drenched in blood. It was everywhere. The sight was so horrifying, it still haunts me. I never thought she was capable of something like that. She wasn’t the person I knew anymore. It felt like a stranger had taken over her body. She killed people right in front of me, without a shred of hesitation. The cruelty in her eyes, the emptiness—it shook me to my core. I was so scared, I had to push her away. And my anger toward her grew, especially after what she did to Dad. That day, she showed no mercy. Not even her friends could stop her, her ears deaf to their pleas. It was as if she was someone else entirely, and that scared me more than anything.

Nilamon ako ng galit ko nung mga oras na yon. I thought my father was innocent but he's not. Nakita ko kung paano niya pinatay ang Lolo ni Alethea pero mas inisip ko parin si Dad. I never thought of what Alethea would feel.

My father. He's a monster. Hindi siya nakulong dahil mas pinili ng mga Lopez na lumayo sa gulo pero hindi ibig sabihin non ay hindi na sila makapangyarihan.

He forced me to be with the son of his business partner, threatening that if I didn’t, he would hurt Mama and Crystal. Everything he showed us was a lie—a façade. At first, yes, he was kind, loving even. He made me believe he was everything I ever wanted in a father. But then, after a few months, he changed. The monster behind that fake personality began to emerge, and I couldn’t recognize him anymore. He wasn’t the man I thought I knew. He was a stranger—cruel, manipulative, and ruthless. I started to wonder if the people who warned me were right all along. I didn’t know him like I thought I did. I should have been more careful. I should have trusted my instincts and not given him my heart so easily. And now, all I have left is regret.

Sa isang taon na kasama ko ang lalaking iyon never akong naging masaya. He's a devil and a monster like my father.

"Saan ka nanaman galing?!" sigaw na tanong Lohan ng makarating ako sa bahay

He shouldn't be named Lohan dapat Lucifer iyon. Mas masama pa ang ugali niya kesa kay Lucifer actually.

"Mall" maikling sagot ko rito

Wala akong gana makipag usap sa taong kagaya niya.

Sa tuwing nakikita ko sila ni Dad puro pagsisisi ang nararamdaman ko. Pagsisising sinaktan ko ang taong mahal ko dahil sa walang kasing sama kong Ama.

"At talagang tatalikuran mo ako?!" sigaw nanamn nito

Kahit kelan hindi siya marunong makipag usap ng maayos. Bukod sa nakakairitang pag mumuka niya ay nakakairita rin ang ugaling meron siya.

Sa ugali na nga lang babawi hindi pa magawa.

Hindi ko nalang ito pinansin at nilagpasan. Pero hindi narin ako nagulat ng bigla ako nitong hilahin.

"What now?" walang kagana gana kong tanong rito

Pagod na ako

Tama na muna.

Maiksing kasiyahan lang pala ang makita siya. I'm happy that she's doing fine. Halata iyon sa muka niya.

"How dare you turned your back at me!" sigaw nito

Napapikit ako ng bigla nitong higpitan ang dalawa kong braso.

"Bitawan mo ako!" sigaw ko sakanya pabalik pero mas lalo lang nitong hinigpitan ang hawak niya

Napakawalang kwenta ko sa part na hinayaan kong mangyari to sa akin.

If this is my Karma bakit ang lala naman ata?

Mahal ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon, ni minsan hindi nagbago iyon.

My love for her doesn't fade away.

Binitawan naman ako ni Lohan at umakyat na ito sa kwarto at pabalang na sinarado.

Agad naman akong umakyat sa kabilang kwarto. Ayokong kasama siya sa kwarto. No never.

____

I was here at the parking lot. Waiting for her. Siguro naman mag aaral pa siya no? by now I think she's already in her 4th year.

Hayaan niyo na ako.

Kahit sa malayuan ko nalang siya mahalin.

Hindi naman nag tagal ang isang mamahaling sasakyan at lumabas ang babaeng hinihintay ko.

I suddenly smiled.

Masaya akong makita siyang masaya.

After all that I've done. I deserve to be miserable.

Sinundan ko ito ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas siya ng parking lot at duon na rin ako lumabas.

"I thought you weren’t going to step out of your car," someone said, her voice cutting through the tense silence and making me freeze in my tracks. The words carried a hint of surprise, almost as if she were questioning my intentions, as if she caught me doing something I wasn’t supposed to. My heart skipped a beat, and I turned slowly, my mind racing to process who it was.

Angelie...

"What are you doing here?"

"Watching you like how you watch her from afar." mapang asar na sagot nito

"She's so different"

"Very different.She can smile in front of a crowd now," she said, her voice soft but laced with a hint of pride. "She even jokes around and talks to people like it’s nothing." Her gaze shifted to me, knowing glint in her eyes. "How many days has it been since you started watching her from a distance again?" Her words hung in the air, sharp and teasing, as if daring me to deny it. My throat tightened, and I struggled to meet her gaze, caught off guard by how easily she had read me.

"One week already. I tried to talk to her but her friends.....inilalayo nila ako sakanya"

Tuwing naalala ko ito ay nakaramdam ako ng sakit. Parang dati lang ay akin siya at sakanya lang din ako. Pero ngayon parang ang layo niya kahit ang lapit niya.

She probably hate me now.

"Oh well, let’s just talk later. Byeee!" she said with a playful wave, her voice trailing off as she walked away without waiting for a response.

I let out a heavy sigh, the weight in my chest growing heavier with each passing second. My shoulders slumped, and I stared at the ground, the words echoing in my head.

When will everything feel lighter again? I wondered, the thought hanging in my mind. The world seemed too loud, too fast, and I was stuck—hoping, waiting for a moment when the burden would ease, even just a little.

"Good morning Miss Presley" sabay sabay na bati saakin ng mga kaklase ni Alethea but she's not here—again.

For almost an entire week, she had been absent from class. There were times when she was here, but it was as though she wasn’t truly present. She would sit in the back, her eyes staring off into the distance, not once meeting my gaze. It felt like I was speaking to the air rather than to a student. Most days, her gaze would be lost somewhere outside the window, as if she was searching for something beyond the classroom.

"Good morning," I muttered to the class, my voice devoid of energy. I was tired—tired of trying, tired of the silence that filled the room. I set my things on the desk, but the room felt hollow. I began my lesson, speaking to an audience that barely seemed to notice, when suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door.

I froze for a moment, surprised. Without thinking, I walked over and opened it. Standing there, gasping for breath, was Alethea. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were wide with uncertainty. She looked as though she had just run a marathon, her chest heaving with each breath.

"I-I'm sorry if I'm late, Ma'am... can I come in?" she stammered, her voice shaky. Her usual confidence was gone, replaced with something more fragile, almost pleading.

I noticed the way she hesitated, her eyes flickering between me and the rest of the class, as if unsure whether she was welcome. The moment hung in the air, thick with tension. I wasn’t sure why, but seeing her like this struck a chord in me. It was as if she had been carrying something heavy, and I suddenly wanted to know what it was.

Mabilis naman natapos ang klase at ang mga estudyante ay agad na inayos ang gamit nila para umalis.

I look at her she was busy fixing her things and putting it in her bag. Hinihintay nalang din siya ng mga kaibigan niya.

I need to talk to her

"Lopez," I called her name, my voice a bit softer than I intended.

She snapped her head up at the sound of her name, her eyes wide with confusion, as if she hadn’t expected me to speak to her at all.

I took a moment to steady myself. Inside, I felt a swirl of emotions—concern, longing, frustration—but I kept them hidden behind the calm I was trying to maintain. What I wanted to do was run to her, hold her tightly, and tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her that I noticed, that I cared. But I couldn’t. I had to keep my composure, even if it felt like my heart was about to break.

"Ba-bakit po?" she stuttered, her voice trembling. It was as if the question alone had caught her off guard, as though she wasn’t expecting any attention from me—certainly not like this.

I watched her closely, noticing the way her hands fidgeted nervously by her sides. Her gaze shifted away from mine for a moment, almost as though she was afraid to look me in the eye. And it struck me—why does she act like this around me?

Every time I speak to her, it’s the same. She stutters, her words faltering, as if she’s afraid of what I might say or do. Why is she like this? What happened to the confident, lively Alethea I used to know? There was a distance between us now, a wall I couldn’t understand, and it was painful to see her like this, so unsure of herself around me.

But as I looked at her, I couldn’t help but feel that she was hiding something deeper—something I wasn’t sure she was ready to share. And it broke my heart to think that I might not be able to help her with whatever was weighing so heavily on her.

"Can you carry my things?" I asked, my voice steady but carrying a quiet weight. She hesitated, her eyes darting away for a moment, as if the request was something she didn't want to do, or perhaps didn't feel comfortable with.

Rayla, standing close by, reached out and gently took Alethea's hand, squeezing it in a way that spoke volumes—like she was offering support, or maybe urging her to do it for her. Ganon niya ba kaayaw na kausapin ko si Alethea? Alethea glanced at her, her eyes showing with a mixture of uncertainty and hesitation. I heard the soft murmur between them, a whisper too quiet for me to hear, but I saw the slight shake of Alethea’s head, a silent refusal, before her gaze finally returned to me. It was the kind of look that told me she was caught between wanting to help and not knowing how to.

"Okay po," she replied, her voice small, as if napipilitan lang siya. Alam kong ayaw niya saakin but she doesn't have to show it masakit kaya.

She reached for her bag, slinging it over her shoulder with a swift before walking over to my table. There was something almost distant about the way she moved, as if she were performing a task without really being present in the moment. She carefully gathered my things—papers, notebooks, and pens—and set them into a neat pile.

I glanced over at her friends. The familiar faces that had once been a constant fixture in the back of the room were now absent from their seats. Alethea must’ve signaled them to move, perhaps to give us space. I couldn't help but feel a spark of hope at that small gesture.

This was it. This was my chance to finally reach her, to talk to her in a way I hadn’t been able to for one week.

I wasn’t sure how to approach her, how to make her feel safe enough to let her guard down. But there was no denying that, in this small, simple moment, I could sense a crack in the walls she had built around herself or maybe I'm just assuming.

Eto ang unang beses na hindi niya ako iniwasan and it feels go.

Muling nabuhay ang puso kong namatay 2 years ago.

I regretted everything.

I really do and now I'm trying to fix what I've broken.