eighteen

After what feels like hours, my wolf finally starts slowing down and stops completely when we arrive at a place we haven't been to for a while.

My wolf makes himself slowly skins down to the forest floor, laying down with his head on his paws and taking in the familiar scenery in front of us.

It's a lake that he found when we were still young and he needed to let off some steam. When we didn't understand each other as we do now. He would run through the woods for hours without an end, until one day he found this place.

A small untouched lake in the middle of the woods.

His gaze follows the outline of the familiar lake in front of him, a deep breath escaping my wolf's chest when he relaxes just a little.

This place always had a calming effect on him, a thing he desperately needed. Especially when the physical abuse started happening.

My heart squeezes painfully in my chest at all the memories that come flooding back to me and my wolf lets out a small whimper, a gesture that does little to comfort me.

How much do we have to go through before it gets too much? Too much to handle? Too much to bear?

This is the only place that no one knows about. At least no one, that I know.

Not even my mates have followed me out here. They know about the rocks, about my favorite tree, about basically every other place but this, this place is all mine.

My wolf huffs in my head.

Well, mine and my wolfs.

It's the place we went to after my uncle hurt us and we needed to heal before others could see it.

It's the only place I've ever cried.

In the past I would've shifted back and jumped into the water, I'd just float there, my thoughts silenced because of the water surrounding me.

Its the only time I could find some sort of inner peace.

Today I don't. Today I let my wolf enjoy the quiet noises around us, let him watch the birds in the trees and the squirrels climbing them.

I let him enjoy the silence until there isn't any more.

There's a loud cracking sound somewhere in the forest behind us and my wolf is on high alert almost immediately.

He knows what kind of sounds a wild animal makes and what kind of sounds a human makes.

This wasn't a wild animal.

And it isn't. When he notices a dark figure standing behind a tree, not being able to decipher who it is, he starts to bare his teeth and growl warningly, threateningly.

"Easy, wolfie."

I don't know that voice.

"When I come out, you're not going to attack me. Otherwise, you'll be laying in the same hospital as your mate, but you won't be able to wake up."

What the fuck?

My wolf just starts growling louder, more viciously, but the figure doesn't budge and starts coming towards us slowly.

My wolf tries to sniff the air, to make out who it is, but he doesn't and when the recognition washes over me because the same exact thing happened earlier today, I can finally make out his face.

The hunter.

"Don't," he warns my wolf, holding up a bow and arrow in a warning and I tell my wolf to calm down.

If he were to shoot us right now, we wouldn't make it back in time. The poison would've reached our heart by that time.

"Good boy," he hums, the same haunted look on his face as only a few hours ago, at the field.

"Shift back for me?"

A demand, not a question.

"Here," he throws some clothes towards me and has the decency to turn away, and I know it's stupid, that I shouldn't shift and instead make a run for it but I don't.

I don't know why, but I don't.

"What the fuck do you want?" I snarl immediately after shifting back, putting the clothes on as fast as possible, taking a defensive stance.

My wolf isn't happy about me being so vulnerable in front of the man that has injured five wolves but strangely enough, I feel safer in my human form.

Maybe because we can actually communicate like this even if that's the last thing I want to do.

I'd rather tear him to fucking pieces and make him regret ever hurting any werewolf in the first place. Especially my mate.

My wolf agrees in my head.

"Now, now, Rafael. Why are you being so rude?" he taunts but I don't really react to his mocking, instead I feel my heart dropping to my stomach at the mention of my name.

My fucking name.

"How do you know my name?"

Can this day get any shittier? I don't think so.

Of course, he doesn't answer and just observes me for a little giving me time to think about the absolute absurdity of this situation and why I'm not freaking the fuck out right now.

This is the man that almost killed five of my former pack members, my fucking mate, the man that has no scent, the man that works with fucking werewolves to kill other werewolves!

I guess at some point you just become numb after facing shit likes this again and again and again.

It certainly feels like it. I mean, it's not like I haven't been exposed to hunters before. The first years of my life were dominated by them. But that's just what I've been told, bevcause I don't remember it.

I don't remember ever being held captive by hunters. I don't remember me getting tortured by them. I don't remember my mum, who died protecting me. I don't remember being freed from them by Alpha Cedric.

It's all things that I've been told happened to me. A story my body tells, with all its scars, a story people told me after waking up in the hospital bed of Alpha Tristans' pack.

And the be honest, I never wanted to.

What kid wants to remember that? That his mom was being tortured right before his eyes, moon goddess knows there were a lot more werewolves than just me and my mother.

"You know me from the past, don't you?" my voice has taken on a sinister undertone.

All I get in response is a hum.

"Don't come any closer," I tell him when starts taking steps towards me again, his dark eyes still set on me, giving me the chills over and over again.

"I have a question for you, Rafael."

I don't answer, but his eyes track how my Adam's apple moves up and down as I swallow hard.

"Is it worth it?" he whispers, stopping a few feet in front of me.

He sees the confusion in my eyes and takes another step closer.

"Are they worth it?" he murmurs almost softly, but he doesn't stop there, "are they worth all your pain?"

I don't even fucking know why, but my eyes actually start to burn, because it's obvious who he's talking about and it's embarrassing but I don't look away from him, not even when I can't see him properly anymore.

"Think about it, Rafael."

He catches the single tear that comes out of my eye with his finger, but its as if he didn't even touch me at all. If I hadn't been watching him closely, I would have thought it was a breeze.

I am frozen, do not want to move at all, this gesture had such a strange familiarity in it, my heart squeezes painfully in my chest.

Not even my wolf says anything, does anything. He's just as confused and powerless as I am.

"I'll see you again soon."

As quickly as he appeared, he disappears again. Just like a few hours ago.

I look after him until I can't see him anymore and only then does it feel like I've woken up from some kind of trance.

I wipe my eyes, wish the goosebumps on my skin away.

This is so fucked-up.

I'm fucked-up.

jesus, this was a rollercoaster. thoughts, comments? thanks for reading!