Kiss Me or Not

I saw a drop of sweat patter on the matt below me. Every time I reached down to grab the Medicine Ball, the moisture fell from my face. It wasn't hard ignoring how damp my shirt was when my muscles were burning. By the time I fell to the ground, I was gasping for air and struggling to stop the adrenaline from taking over.

My fingers were shaking. I couldn't stop my legs from jerking. Every ounce of my body screamed, but my head had never been so silent. It seemed like all of the voices were silenced the moment I hit the treadmill. I didn't hear my dad's words repeating in my head when I made it to the weight room. The sound of self-doubt disappeared as soon as I picked up a medicine ball.

I looked around at the girls I'd play with. They're wearing their headphones. Every circuit they moved to, they're changing their music. Some of them were nodding along. A few of them hummed. All of them were listening to music.

I didn't have headphones, but my mind has never been so clear. I loved the sound of metal clinking, shoes hitting the treadmill, and what it felt like to feel powerful.

"Hey, stranger," Torey dropped beside me.

I looked beside me, trying to figure out when he got here. "Hey. What're you doing in here?"

"Well, I actually needed your help on something," he leaned back on his hands. "There's a rumor going around that you're the person to go to when you need help writing an essay."

"Is that so?" I picked up my water bottle. "Who started the rumor?"

"I might've been looking over your shoulder during class," he cleared his throat. "Listen, you're really good at what you do, and I like you."

Heat flushed through my body. Thankfully, my face was already red, and he wouldn't be able to tell he caught me off guard.

"We already talked about this – "

"I know," he turned to me. "You like Carter, but give me a chance, please. Go out for ice cream with me tomorrow night, and if you don't want to see me as anything more than friends then that's okay."

"Do you need help on your essay? Or was this the goal?"

I watched the lightest pink color flush his cheeks. "I really do need help. I just figured it was worth trying for a date too."

"A date?"

"Yeah," his blue eyes shifted back to me. "A date."

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course. No rush," he stammered over his words. "About what part? The date? Or helping me?"

"I'll help you."

"Okay. Cool," he flashed me a toothy grin. "Listen. I know I majored in English, but I have to break it to you, Sawyer, I'm creative. It's just getting my thoughts down to paper that I struggle with."

"Don't worry," I leaned back on my palms. "You came to the right person."

"Cool," he coughed. "I should get going. Maybe I can get your number? We can talk about when we're gonna meet up and stuff."

I wrote my number across the piece of paper he ripped from his notebook.

"Are you playing Thursday?"

"Yeah," I cocked my head to the side. "Why?"

"I'll be there."

He grabbed the paper from my hand before giving me a wink. I watched him disappear from the gym.

"What was that about?"

I followed Joey to the locker room. "He wants me to help him with some essay."

"Oh?"

"And go on a date."

I couldn't see her face. I opened my locker door to avoid it. The silence falling over the locker room made it clear she was waiting for me to continue explaining what happened.

"Listen," I shut the door. "It's not that big of a deal."

"What'd you say?"

"That I'd think about it."

"And?"

I looked at the woman tying her hair into a knot on the top of her head. "I don't know."

"You like Carter."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Extremely."

I slung my duffle bag over my shoulder. "Then I'm not going."

"I think it's worth a shot. How do you know you like Carter if you haven't gave anybody else a chance?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Girl, you just admitted that not only haven't you dated before, but you've never gone on a date," she unlocked her car. "You need to put yourself out there before you settle on one person."

"I guess. I'll think about it."

It's not that I didn't want to go. It'd be nice to make more friends, but Tory made it clear that wasn't what this was. He made it clear the second we met that he didn't want to be friends. His eyes were on me, but mine will never be on him.

Joey's car pulled into the driveway behind the black truck I loved riding in a little too much. I stepped out of the passenger side just as Carter was unloading his gear from his cab.

I shouldn't have watched him for so long. Not when my brother is making conversation with him, and his red-headed girl is staring at me over her car, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Stop," I whispered.

Her head fell back as she barked out a laugh. "You're too obvious!"

"Nobody noticed."

Her lips spread into a smile. "We need to think about this date."

"It's not a date."

"He was totally flirting with you, though."

"What?" I followed her into the house. "That's not true. People don't flirt with me. They're just nice."

"That's a lie," a deep voice sent vibrations through my body. "I do it all the time."

I turned to find Carter leaning against the corridor of the kitchen. There's a tiresome look on his face, but all of his attention is on me, and I can't help but admire his features. From his shaggy brown hair, tousled and clean on the top of his head, to the loose t-shirt on his body, showing off his toned-tanned arms and tattoos.

"What?"

His tongue swiped across his bottom lip. The wetness grew a smile.

"I said that's a lie," he crossed his arms. "I flirt with you all the time."

I felt my breath hitch as he approached me. When my eyes darted around the kitchen, nobody was anywhere to be seen. Joey disappeared at some point, and Fletcher was not in the house. It left me to be cornered by the football player with more tattoos than I can count on my fingers and toes.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled.

"A little birdy told me your first game is tomorrow," he reached out to play with my long-sleeved shirt. "I'm sad I wasn't invited."

A gasp rolled from my tongue when his pinkie finger grazed the exposed skin of my hip.

His head fell to the side. Those earthy eyes of his scanned my face. They're on high alert like he's waiting for me to make the next move to see if I run away or not.

But I don't want to run away from him. I want to run to him. He's the first person on my mind when I get good or bad news, and he's the last person I think about when I go to bed. My mind even dreams about him when I sleep at night.

"Please," I begged.

I watched his earthly eyes darken like a thunderstorm rolled in. "Please what?"

"Please, come."

His hand lifted from the bottom of my shirt. "Can I try something?"

"Yes."

There's a look on his face, pleading for something. There's also a hint of something else I can't decipher, but I don't want to be mistaken if I assume it's hesitation.

I looked back and forth between his eyes as his knuckles brushed across my cheek. My lips parted as he cupped my face in his hand. My racing heart tried catching up with the emotions threatening to break free. It's not that I wanted to run or that I felt unsafe. I felt the complete opposite.

His attention shifted as I rested my cheek deeper into his hand. The warmth spread through my body. Every cell lit up. The thought of craving someone's touch put me in fight or flight mode. I wanted to run, but with his eyes on me, and my trust with him, I stayed still.

"You're doing such a good job," his deep voice sent chills down my spine. "Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?"

I'm not sure I could say anything if I wanted to, so I didn't. I stared at him until the corner of his lips tugged at the slightest.

"Because you are," his thumb brushed my cheekbone. "Especially when you're looking at me like that."

"Like what?" I asked breathlessly.

"Like you want me to kiss you."

"I'm so fucking hungry," Fletcher's voice filled the house. "What're we doing for dinner?"

Carter pushed away from me, but his shoulder gently brushed mine as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Another time, yeah?"

I felt him everywhere. Even when he was walking up the stairs. His warmth still lingered on my cheek, and the rhythm of my heart was asking him to touch me again.

"Sawyer?"

I looked up at Fletcher. "Huh?"

The space between his eyebrows caved. "I asked if you were okay."

"Of course."

I think so, anyway. Just unsure if your best friend wanted to kiss me or not.