The Light

UNKNOWN

Estella was still grappling with the reality of Max’s violent act. She understood why he’d done it, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. The brutality of it all was too much for her, even though she knew it was no different from the violence in human wars. But then again, she’d never been able to justify wars either.

She missed the easy camaraderie she’d once shared with her friends. She tried to act normal, but it was hard. She was okay when they were in their human forms, but their wolf forms, especially Max’s, were a different story. She couldn’t shake the image of his wolf’s snout dripping with blood. It haunted her dreams, though she hadn’t told anyone about that.

Max seemed to understand her discomfort and had been keeping his distance. Her uncle had taken over driving her to school and back. That left her with Sarah, the alpha girl, and Caleb. She was surprisingly comfortable around them, probably because they were still kids like her. They were training to be pack leaders, but they hadn’t been involved in any real fights or killed anyone, which made her feel safer.

Sarah had been surprisingly understanding, in her own unique way. “You’re a human,” she’d said. “Your kind is weak by nature. It’s normal for you to be scared of us, though it took you long enough.”

Caleb, being two years older, had a different perspective. “You’re being ridiculous,” he’d told her. “Max did what he had to do.”

“I know, Cal. I just need some time,” she’d replied, a phrase she’d repeated countless times. Caleb would argue that Max was still the same wolf she’d once loved to play with. That thought made her sad, so she decided to focus on something else: introducing Caleb to Sarah.

She found it absurd that her two closest friends hadn’t met yet. So, she invited them over to her house one afternoon. The meeting didn’t go as planned. They started growling at each other the moment they met and didn’t stop bickering the entire time. Estella found the whole situation amusing and didn’t intervene.

But her amusement faded when she realized that she would normally share this experience with Max. She’d tell him all about it, and he’d laugh at her descriptions. When her friends noticed her silence, they came over to her.

“Are you okay, Estella?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, forcing a smile.

“Then get up, and let’s do something together,” Caleb suggested, nudging her shoulder.

“Yeah, this fool is right,” Sarah agreed. “We should do something all together.”

“Who said I included you?” Caleb retorted. “I meant only me and Estella.”

“You should thank me for being kind enough to include you,” Sarah shot back.

“You? Kind?” Caleb laughed. “That’s a good one, Austin! And here I thought you had no sense of humor!”

“Ha ha ha,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “You know what? I take it back, so you can leave and let us girls do something fun.”

“You do realize this isn’t your house, right?”

“Whatever.”

“Since I’m Estella’s oldest friend, I get to stay, and you can go back to your human-hating pack,” Caleb said, looking at Estella expectantly.

“I want to be friends with both of you,” she declared. “So, you’d better start getting along because I’m not going to choose.”

They both grumbled under their breaths, but she ignored them. Honestly, they could be such babies sometimes.

MAX

Two months and three days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve really talked to her. I’ve seen her, of course. She visits Eva, who’s due to give birth any day now. But we haven’t really spoken.

I know she needs time. I just wish she didn’t need so much. I wish she’d call me, even if she couldn’t bear to see me. But she hasn’t.

I try to console myself with the fact that she hasn’t completely shut out our kind. Patrick has ordered the pack members not to shift during Estella’s visits, which I’m grateful for. And I know from Julian that she’s been spending more time with Caleb and Sarah. So, it seems it’s just me she’s still afraid of.

As long as I can see her and know she’s safe, I can handle it. But I miss her. More than I thought I would. She’s become such a big part of my life that I don’t know how to go about my day without her.

Sometimes, I drive to her school just to watch her leave, or I run to her house to catch a glimpse of her through the window. I’m always careful not to let her see me.

It might seem strange to be so fixated on a girl so young, but that’s just how it is for me. There’s nothing inappropriate about my feelings for her.

I think it’s important to clarify this to avoid any confusion. My wolf is in love with her because that’s just how it works for him. I love her.

It’s a different kind of love, and love can take many forms. Right now, I love and care for her like a cherished family member because that’s exactly what she is to me.

Who wouldn’t miss someone they love? Who wouldn’t wonder about their day? Who wouldn’t worry?

The silver lining was that Julian and Lydia were, surprisingly, on my side. They were taken aback when Eva called them and even more so when they saw Estella, and I confirmed what had happened.

Julian even thanked me for protecting her.

“You did what you had to do, Max.” He clapped me on the back. “I wish she didn’t have to see it, but you were just following your instincts. That’s okay.”

But it’s not okay to me. The biggest struggle in my life is not giving in to the worst parts of my nature. This failure is costing me a lot, and not just because of Estella.

“Julian is right. If only she hadn’t seen it…” Lydia shook her head gently.

“I wish the same,” I responded, my voice laced with bitterness.

“She will talk to you again,” Julian said. “She loves you too much to hold this against you.”

“She’s already holding it against me,” I reminded him, and he gave me a sympathetic look.

“Estella is still in shock, Max,” Lydia said. “It will take time for her to accept this unfamiliar side of you.”

“I know.” I nodded. “I know. I just don’t want her to see me as a monster, that’s all.”

“She won’t,” Julian reassured me. “But you might not be able to show her your wolf for a while.”

“Trust me, I don’t even want to do that,” I scoffed.

They told me they tried to talk to her about it, but she wasn’t ready to discuss it yet.

So, all I could do was give her time and space and try to distract myself with other things, sex being one of them.

I really needed to let off some steam, because since meeting Estella, I was practically a saint when it came to that part of my life, which was something I never expected.

From the age of sixteen, when I started having sex, until eighteen, when I met Estella, sex was like a sport. It was fun and good for my health, so I had a lot of it.

Then she came into my life, and I became cautious. At first, it wasn’t a conscious decision, partly because I was still trying to control the effects of the bond and partly because she needed me.

Later, after she moved to Australia, I realized I didn’t need sex as much as I thought, which was surprising compared to how it was before.

I hardly had any, only every few months or so when I couldn’t resist or when I found a particularly attractive woman.

You see, probably because of the age difference, our bond, which is and will be for the foreseeable future, far from sexual, never really blinded me to the allure of other women.

What did happen, though, apart from my decreased sexual appetite, was that I didn’t feel right leaving Estella to go and sleep around.

When she was with me, sex with other women was not only out of the question, but it never even crossed my mind. She was my top priority.

But, not being with her for so long, while she was so close, caused a frustration that I couldn’t ignore anymore, and the intrusive thoughts that she would never accept me as her mate became too overwhelming.

So, I had sex with someone. As bad as it sounds, she wasn’t important. Just a woman I met in a human bar who was looking for the same thing as me: a no-strings-attached one-night stand.

I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn’t change anything. I still felt the same pain. I still feel the same pain.

Many times I thought about trying to talk to her, even if it was just over the phone, but I didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t ready.

When I told Eva a few weeks ago, she advised that Estella would let me know when she was ready to be my friend again.

“After all,” she said with a smile. “She promised to come and see this one being born if it ever decides to leave Mommy’s big belly.”

“It doesn’t have a choice,” I joked. “But I wouldn’t count on her coming after what happened with me.”

“She wasn’t prepared for what she would see in the battle, Max, and that’s on all of us.

“But you did tell her everything about what labor involves, and she agreed to it, even after you showed her those horrible photos. She will be here.”

She had a point, but I couldn’t let myself get my hopes up only to have them crushed.

UNKNOWN

When she got the call from a panicked Patrick that Eva was in labor, she didn’t hesitate before hopping on her bike and pedaling toward the pack.

You might expect that all the unpleasant memories from the last time she’d ridden her bike would come rushing back, and she would be terrified all over again.

But the truth was her initial feelings were slowly but surely fading. Besides, she had promised Eva that she would be there, and she had no intention of breaking her promise.

She felt guilty that she wasn’t there when the little devil boys, whom she adored, were born. So, she was determined not to miss this.

She felt a unique closeness to Eva.

She was her first friend after her family died in that accident, and as silly as it sounds, it was as if a strange bond had formed between them the moment they met six years ago.

As she arrived at her destination, she left her bike at the hospital entrance and ran inside.

Given that Eva’s screams could be heard throughout the building, it didn’t take long for Estella to find her and Patrick, who was yelling at every nurse in sight, accusing them of hurting his mate.

Estella wondered if he’d reacted the same way the last two times. She slipped past him and the trio trying to bar his entry, and made her way into the room.

The sight that greeted her was a woman in labor, taking a breather from her screams, her body slick with sweat.

“Why the hell does it hurt so much?” she groaned.

“Because the epidural doesn’t work on you,” Max answered, his tone steady. He was positioned between the woman’s legs, checking on her progress.

Estella’s gaze landed on Max. From her vantage point, she could only see his profile. He hadn’t shaved, and he seemed focused on his task.

“Then give me something stronger,” Eva demanded.

“I already have. Now breathe for me.”

Estella realized she should be doing something to help. She rushed to Eva’s side and took her hand.

Eva turned her gaze to Estella, managing a strained smile before her grip tightened, causing Estella to wince.

Estella didn’t say anything. It was clear Eva couldn’t control her strength right now.

Instead, she returned the squeeze and placed her other hand on Eva’s belly, stroking it gently.

“I told you she would come,” she murmured, causing Max to glance up.

Surprise flashed across his face when he saw Estella, but he didn’t say anything. He simply nodded, acknowledging her presence.

His reaction stung, but comforting Eva was more important.

It seemed she was doing something right, because Eva’s screams quieted, and after about ten minutes, the baby’s cry filled the room.

At that moment, Patrick burst into the room and rushed to Eva, showering her with kisses and hugs.

Estella pulled her hands away from Eva and suppressed a giggle as she stepped back. She watched as Max cut the umbilical cord and took the baby to clean it.

She followed him quietly, putting on gloves after sanitizing her hands. Then she picked up a clean blanket.

He made space for her to stand next to him as he cleaned the baby, and she held the blanket open, ready to receive the newborn.

Whoever said newborns were beautiful must have never actually seen one, she thought.

Max gently placed the baby in Estella’s arms and helped her wrap it in the blanket.

She looked down at the baby with affection. If she was already in love with this strange little creature, she couldn’t imagine how Eva would feel about her child.

A wave of euphoria washed over her as she held the baby, bringing a smile to her face and tears to her eyes. She carried the baby girl over to her parents.

Patrick took the baby from her, grinning like a madman, and handed her to Eva. Then, everyone else seemed to fade away until Eva looked up at her.

“Pick a name, honey,” she said softly, her eyes shining.

“Lucia,” Estella replied instantly.

She didn’t know why she’d chosen that name.

She must have read it somewhere, because she didn’t know anyone named Lucia. But as soon as the name left her lips, she knew it was perfect.

“It means light.” Eva chuckled, turning to Patrick. “It suits her, don’t you think?”

Patrick, speechless, nodded. His gaze shifted between Eva and Lucia, unable to focus on either of them.

From the corner of her eye, Estella saw Max reach out to touch her, but he stopped short.

She stepped towards him, and his fingertips brushed her cheek. She leaned into his touch and then moved into his embrace.

She could feel his body trembling as he held her close. Her head barely reached his chest, but she could hear his rapid heartbeat.

It was no different from her own heartbeat. Or any human’s, for that matter.

She wasn’t scared or unsure anymore. She realized she never should have been.