Chapter 39: The First Crack

MAX

Stelios hung around with me—or more accurately, my wolf—most of the night.

I’d never seen my wolf so calm and submissive around anyone, except Estella, especially during a full moon when the beast within takes over.

But with Stelios, he was acting like a playful puppy.

I was thankful for that because at least he’d stopped howling at me about Estella. Not that it eased the guilt I was feeling or the embarrassment that was burning inside me.

I shouldn’t have acted that way. Not on a night when I knew I had little control over myself. I was selfish when I shouldn’t have been.

The thought that she might be feeling discarded, rejected, and used right now made me want to rip myself apart.

Maybe that would bring some relief. Maybe it would let me feel some of her pain (more than I already was), or at least let me make up for another act of cowardice.

“You know where to find me at dawn,” Stelios said, patting my wolf’s head and getting up from the log he was sitting on.

“Caleb and Sarah are somewhere around here. I think I heard them mating from the other side of the woods.”

With that, he left, leaving behind a bundle of clothes, and my wolf started running again as if a spell had been broken.

Giving in to her was inevitable.

I’d be a fool to think I could avoid it forever.

The way her eyes seemed to sparkle silver—a trick of the moonlight, surely—when she told me she loved me… I couldn’t resist it.

Kissing her, tasting her, felt like the most natural thing in the world… until I started sinking my fangs into her marking spot.

I panicked at the thought that I was ready to mark her without her consent, without telling her the truth first, and without explaining everything that came with sealing our bond.

I swear to the Goddess, if I wasn’t in the middle of shifting, I wouldn’t have run. I wouldn’t have left her like that. I don’t know if I would have had the courage to tell her the truth, but I would have stayed.

I would have fucking stayed. She deserved that and so much more.

At dawn, I managed to shift back to my human form, put on the clothes Stelios left me, and dragged myself to the couple’s house, where Elli was waiting with a hearty breakfast.

“Rough night?” she asked with a knowing smile.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Nothing a good breakfast can’t fix, I hope.”

“If food was the answer, all problems would be long gone.” I gave her a sad smile.

“You’re right, but still, you need to eat and rest. It will do you good.”

“I’m not very hungry, Elli.”

I wasn’t lying, but more than that, I couldn’t bring myself to eat knowing Estella probably hadn’t eaten either.

“Alright, then,” the old woman sighed. “I won’t push you. Go upstairs, wash up, and rest. The food can wait.”

“Thank you.”

I did as she suggested. I showered and lay down, and surprisingly, sleep came quickly, as if my mind needed to finally shut down.

But I remember wondering how Stelios knew my wolf’s name last night.

ESTELLA

I don’t know what time it was when I finally made it to bed. All I knew was that I had to practically crawl to get there.

Did I cry my eyes out? Yes.

Did I wish I was dead instead? Yes.

I’m not good at describing my deepest emotions.

I feel like words don’t do them justice, or rather, I’m afraid that if I manage to put my feelings into ordinary, overused words, they’ll seem less than what they really are or exaggerated.

All I can say, that might make some sense, is that I was in pain. When tears failed, I used sleep to block it out. But when I woke up, it was still there.

I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and started filling the tub. I threw away my torn dress and looked at my reflection.

My face, I imagined how it looked the day before: happy. My body… A smile threatened to appear when I saw the hickeys Max had left on my skin.

Even after what happened, the memory of our few moments together made me feel…

I don’t know what I did wrong. If you ask me, I don’t think I did anything wrong. I didn’t force him into anything.

He’s a grown man, and who kisses someone they have no sexual feelings for like that?

He wanted it, too, last night.

I stepped into the tub.

Why did he leave me like that? The Max I love would never leave me when I needed him.

Did he regret it?

Maybe it was just the full moon. He hasn’t found his mate, and his hormones are stronger during that time of the month. Maybe that’s why he freaked out on me.

I sunk deeper into the tub, letting the water reach just below my nose.

Maybe he…

I jerked up, splashing half the water in the tub around. Normally, I would care, but right then, all I cared about was not slipping and breaking anything before I could do what I had to.

I don’t think I’ve ever dressed so quickly in my life. But then again, I’ve never had a purpose like I did then.

Call me crazy, but I wanted to talk to him, confront him, and make him tell me what he felt for me.

Last night was the best and worst night of my life. Since I’m not a masochist, I don’t want to experience something like that ever again.

I’ve loved Max all my life. I believe there’s nothing I wouldn’t forgive him for, but he owes me an explanation and an apology, and I’m going to get them.

If you’re wondering how I planned to find him, let me tell you that I’ve always been good at finding him when I needed to.

But this time, logic told me that since he’d be shifting in the woods on Stelios’s property, he’d either be sleeping there or taking shelter in the old couple’s house.

I decided to check the house first.

Elli had the door open before I even had a chance to knock.

“Come in, dear.” She greeted me with a warm smile. “Let’s have some lemonade in the garden.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not here—”

“I know why you’re here,” she interrupted. “But Max is still sleeping. He had a tough night.”

“He brought it on himself,” I said, my voice flat.

“Most men do.” Elli sighed and took my hand, leading me to the garden.

“Stelios too?” I asked.

“When we were much younger, feels like a lifetime ago.” She chuckled as she poured me a glass of lemonade.

I accepted it from her, thanked her, and began to sip. It was delicious, and oddly enough, it had a soothing effect on me.

“I can’t imagine Stelios being anything but kind to you,” I said, lost in thought.

“Oh, he was always kind. And stubborn. And an unbearable know-it-all. And incredibly insecure. If I hadn’t taken the initiative, we wouldn’t be together at all.”

“Why?”

“Because some men don’t ask women what they want.

“They make their own assumptions and act on them without realizing that most of the time, they’re just following their insecurities, thinking that’s how to respect the one they love,” Elli explained.

“But you ended up together, didn’t you?”

“Yes, dear. We did. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but I’m not sure I’d change any of it.”

“You haven’t told me your whole story, you know.”

“No, I haven’t, and I won’t yet. You see, right now, I think you have a far more interesting story to tell.”

“Me? Nah…”

“Your eyes are red and puffy, your neck and chest are covered in love bites, and only a blind person wouldn’t put two and two together about what’s happening between you and Max,” Elli pointed out.

I could feel my cheeks burning. “Is it that obvious?” I mumbled.

“Yes, it is. Now talk. It’ll make you feel better, and we have plenty of time until the doctor wakes up.”

So, I talked.

MAX

The sun was already setting when I woke up. I don’t know how I managed to sleep that long, but as soon as I opened my eyes, my first thought was to check on Estella.

It took me about ten seconds to realize I was already smelling her scent. I don’t know why I was surprised she came to find me or how she knew where I’d be.

She was bound to want an explanation for my behavior.

I had no clue what I was going to tell her, but I went down to find her anyway. She was outside, having dinner in the garden with Stelios and Elli.

She looked better than I’d feared, and I felt a wave of relief that I hadn’t caused any permanent damage.

However, seeing the hickeys on her skin from the previous night made my throat tighten. This will heal, I told myself. I didn’t leave a permanent scar.

~“You will, though.”~ My wolf taunted in my head, and, as always, I shut him out.

I was the one who had messed up. So I had to try and fix it, hopefully.

As soon as she saw me, she stopped eating and stood up.

I walked toward the woods, and she followed me without saying a word. I didn’t speak either.

I hadn’t decided what to tell her yet. I just kept going deeper into the woods and only stopped when I found a clearing.

“About last night…,” I began, but she was quick to interrupt me.

“Whatever you say, don’t tell me it was a mistake like they do in the movies,” she said, her expression blank, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I wouldn’t say that. Not exactly.” I ignored the sharp look she gave me under the rapidly dimming light and continued. “What happened between us… it wasn’t the right time for it.”

“What do you mean, not the right time?”

“The full moon. Last night, things got out of control.”

“That’s why you ran?”

“I was shifting, Estella,” I said firmly, revealing only the convenient part of the truth. “I had to leave. I’m sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did, Max. And it’s time we both faced the truth.”

I swallowed hard. I should have seen it coming, shouldn’t I?

“And since I told you last night how I feel,” she continued, “I think now it’s your turn.”

“You know I care about you.”

“And you know that’s not enough. Not after what happened between us, which I would have enjoyed if you hadn’t run out of the room like you’d committed some terrible sin.

“And don’t tell me again it was because you were shifting because I saw you. It wasn’t just that.”

“No, it wasn’t just that. I told you before it wasn’t the right time for anything like that to happen between us.”

“Why? I wanted it. You wanted it too. Why not?”

“Not everything is about desire, darling.” I shook my head.

“What’s wrong then? Am I not pretty enough?” she asked, her voice shaking.

It didn’t matter that I could barely see her face anymore, not because it was dark but because my eyes were blurry.

I knew her expression was pained, but it was nothing compared to how I felt right then.

I moved forward, then stopped. My gut told me to comfort her, but our earlier encounter proved I couldn’t be trusted around her, especially during a full moon.

Still, I couldn’t let her think so lowly of herself.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I could ever ask for,” I said, meaning every word.

“I bet you’ve been with women more beautiful than me… Older, more experienced… I…”

I shook my head, forgetting she probably couldn’t see me in the dark with her human eyes.

“No, they never mattered to me. You matter…”

“What do I matter to you, Max?” she raised her voice. “Because I’m confused. You’re not making any sense to me. Not at all, and it’s not fucking fair.”

“You’re my world!” I shouted. “You always have been. But I can’t be with you right now. It’s too soon.”

“Too soon?” she echoed.

“You’re too young, Estella.”

“Considering our age gap, I’ll always be twelve years younger than you.”

“Yes, but you’re only eighteen now. You have your whole life ahead of you. I can’t hold you back.”

“You mean you can’t hold yourself back,” she scoffed. “Waiting for your mate to show up out of nowhere.”

Swearing under my breath, I finally closed the gap between us and pulled her into a hug. She fought against me, but I held on.

“You’re everything,” I whispered. “Everything to me.”

“Then be with me,” she begged.

“No. Not yet. You need to live your life now.”

“I can decide how I want to live,” she growled, shoving me away with force. “Don’t treat me like a kid.”

“I’m not treating you like a kid. I just don’t want you to rush into anything.”

“So you’re making my decisions for me?” she sneered.

“I know what I want. I can’t say the same for you, Max. And when your ‘right moment’ comes, as you call it, I might not be here waiting for you.”

With that, she stormed off.

I followed after a while, dragging my feet. Stelios and Elli were kind enough to let me stay, not just for the night but for our remaining days in Greece, without asking any questions.

We told Caleb and Sarah we’d had a fight, and until it was time to leave, we kept things civil between us.