A Painful Separation

ESTELLA

So, I mentioned before the whole Max debacle that I was planning to head back to Greece for the summer.

Surprised? (I know, I should have asked you when I first brought it up, but it slipped my mind.)

I mean, I can’t write off an entire country just because I had a heartbreak there. Wait. Did I say this already? Am I repeating myself?

Well, even if I did, you might have forgotten, so no harm done.

And it’s good advice, really. The places we visit aren’t responsible for what happens to us there. That’s true most of the time.

Now, if something really shitty (and I mean really shitty) happened to you somewhere, it’s not the place’s fault, but it’s totally understandable if you never want to go back.

Bad memories can be real bitches.

But I’m not about to let them win.

This time, I’m only going to that small island where Max, Sarah, Caleb, and I went. Stelios and Elli gave me an open invitation to visit anytime and stay as long as I want.

And that’s exactly what I plan to do. I’m traveling solo this time, and if you’re wondering why Laurent or even Gaby aren’t coming along, it’s pretty simple.

Laurent and I agreed that I’d come back two weeks early so we can go to China (a lifelong dream of his, and he’s been saving for years to make it happen).

Gaby has to stay with her pack for some summer training and an annual event that’s too important to miss.

She didn’t give me the details, but she kept complaining about how boring it would be and how she envied me for getting to go on vacation.

I promised her we’d do something fun when I got back and that I’d bring her lots of souvenirs from my trip. That seemed to cheer her up.

Now, about my vacation.

After the last incident with Max, I needed to go somewhere quiet to gather my thoughts.

I’d planned the trip to Greece long before that, but what happened just confirmed that it was the right decision.

As a thank you for their hospitality, I decided to paint another picture for Stelios and Elli.

They always spoke so fondly of the nearly extinct Greek werewolves, so I thought they’d appreciate a painting that depicted the old days.

So, I started painting what I imagined their pack looked like in their youth, with werewolves in various stages of shifting in the woods where Max broke my heart.

In the center stood the alpha and the luna, majestic and powerful.

I swear, I felt a warmth in my heart as I worked on this piece.

I was overwhelmed, almost to the point of tears, as if I were bringing my own friends to life. Which is ridiculous, because that pack had died out long before I was born.

Weird, right?

And it gets weirder, but I’ll keep you in suspense a little longer. Just because I can, and because it’s kind of fun.

MAX

Two weeks had passed since that day in the hospital and the night in her garden.

I’d emailed her the results and the phone numbers I’d promised, and she’d been coming here almost every day. But I made sure not to run into her again.

Honestly, there was no need to worry about that because she never came by the hospital, so our paths wouldn’t cross. But still.

My parents, who were also back for the summer, told me she’d visited a couple of times, and they’d returned the favor since they were invited to her place for dinner with Julian and Lydia.

They’d stopped nagging me about what I was going to do about her, and I’m guessing they knew someone else was in her life.

Or maybe they could see how miserable I was, and they were showing me some mercy.

Whatever made them stop, I was grateful.

I threw myself back into my work, sometimes spending more hours at the human hospital than the one in the pack’s territory. But I didn’t care.

The only thing that tormented me was that I could still smell her scent from a distance.

Now that she was here, I was more sensitive to her presence again.

When it got to be too much, especially at night, I’d let my wolf out, and we’d go for a run that always ended up below her window.

I’d stay there for a few minutes...okay, hours, quietly, and then I’d run back home.

Each separation from her seemed worse than the last, and it was always my fault.

I didn’t ask for this fucking mess, but here I am. Torn away from her every time.

Maybe a rejection would settle things once and for all, but no. I should have done that the first day I met her when she was six. It would have been easier then.

Not that I would have left her to fend for herself back then, no. I would have helped her and then let her go instead of feeding our bond and intertwining our lives in such a painful way.

Now, I can’t let her go, but I can’t keep her, either. Even if I was ready to keep her, there’s no guarantee she’d stay after all the shit I’ve done to push her away.

Things were getting more complicated each time, and now she had someone else in her life.

As infuriating as it was, I made sure I didn’t forget that. That someone made her happy. He succeeded where I failed. He stuck around, and when she returns to Paris, she’ll go straight into his arms.

ESTELLA

Before I knew it, it was time to leave. Funny, isn’t it, how life is full of goodbyes?

I think I read that somewhere, maybe in a book, but I can’t remember right now. Regardless, it’s true.

The first person I said goodbye to was Bonnie. I only saw her a few times while I was here, but that was okay. We’ve always been like that.

You know, I feel like I’ve formed a bond with everyone I love in my life. A part of me always stays with them, no matter how far away I am or how often we talk.

Bonnie is the best example of that. Even though we've drawn some lines in our friendship, I know she cares about me and is genuinely happy for me.

Not that the others aren’t, but strangely, like I've mentioned before, even though Max has a mate somewhere out there, they still think we'll end up together. Crazy, right?

But I have to exclude Caleb and my uncle from this. Caleb isn’t on Max’s side, but he acts like an overprotective brother when it comes to Laurent, and Uncle Julian is just as overbearing.

I think it has something to do with my late Aunt Estella.

From what I gather, she had a brutal death, but no one ever talked to me about it.

But when I told them I was seeing someone, he nearly lost it. I had to wake Laurent up so my uncle could talk to him and make sure I'd be safe with him.

Anyway, back to Bonnie.

Yes, Bonnie was completely supportive.

“If he makes you happy, sweetheart, then stick with him until he doesn’t,” she advised.

“Is that what you do?” I teased.

“Yes, and it’s been working great for me so far.”

“And what about…”

“Don’t start with my mate, Estella. I’m fine the way I am, and he’s better off without me.”

“Shouldn’t he be the one to decide that?” I asked.

“He’s probably worlds away,” she scoffed.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I muttered.

“I heard you.”

“Of course you did. You hear just fine. You just don’t listen when it doesn’t suit you. I think it’s a werewolf thing.”

Soon, I had to leave, I had a lot of goodbyes to say.

I saved Max for last.

I wasn’t sure how to say goodbye to him. I was relieved, though, that he had kept his distance while I was here.

I felt that, at this point, there was really nothing left to say to each other. As painful as it was, our lives had taken different paths.

Still, I knew it was childish not to talk to him before I left.

So, I went to his place, because I wasn’t ready to go back to the hospital. I had texted him beforehand because I didn’t want to surprise him. He said he’d be there, and he was.

Alone.

“Come on in,” he said, holding the door open for me.

“I just came to…,” I began as I sat on the couch, but he cut me off.

“I know. You’re leaving. Where to?”

“Greece. I’ll be staying with Elli and Stelios.”

“Give them my regards.”

“I will.”

A silence fell between us. The most uncomfortable one I had ever experienced with him.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually. “About the other time. I was… I was jealous.”

“Yeah, I figured as much, but as I told you…”

“I heard everything you said,” he interrupted. “You were right about everything, Estella. That’s why I’m sorry. I should have never treated you that way.”

“It’s all in the past now, Max.” I sighed.

“Yes, and the sad part is I can’t change it.”

“As crazy as it sounds, there are a couple of things I’m glad you can’t change. Otherwise, I would always wonder what it would feel like to kiss you,” I murmured.

He got up and came to sit right beside me, taking my hands in his. Suddenly, I found it hard to breathe.

“That’s not something I would change, darling,” he said with a bitter smile.

“Max…”

“Hush.” He rested his forehead on mine. “Just stay a bit longer until you have to leave.”

I did.

PATRICK

“Let me get this straight,” I said after Max finished talking. “You let her go again without telling her the truth?”

“Yes.”

“And without really apologizing for your shitty behavior?”

“I did apologize, Patrick. I just don’t think it was enough.” He sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

“You know you’re turning into a first-class jerk, right?” I snickered.

“Am I a jerk for trying to let her live her life?”

“No, you’re a jerk for pushing her away with the ridiculous excuse that you want to let her live her life, but then you throw a fucking fit when she does just that,” I said, glaring at him.

“I know I was wrong. You don’t need to rub it in.”

“I don’t need to rub it in? Max, do you realize you’re going to lose her if you keep this up? I mean, I’m honestly surprised you haven’t lost her already.”

“That makes two of us.” He chuckled bitterly.

“What are you going to do about it?” I demanded.

“You seriously don’t expect me to answer that.”

“Of course I do. You think you’re being noble and considerate, but all you’ve done is create a mess that shouldn’t exist in the first place.”

“Patrick…”

“Don’t Patrick me. I would understand if Estella hadn’t been around our kind for so long or hadn’t shown in so many ways that she loves you.

“Or even if she had proven herself to be immature and not ready for the truth. But she hasn’t. Between the two of you, you’re the immature one.”

“You’re pushing it, cousin,” he warned.

“You’re damn right I am,” I growled.

“Then, as I told Eva some time ago, despite your rank, you have no say in my fucking life. You’re all meddling too damn much.”

“Because we care, Max.”

“You do, Max. But you’ve got to stop. This time, it’s her who’s pulling away from me.”

“And who’s to blame for that?”

“Me. It’s all on me. It’s always on me, and I don’t need you to remind me. But this time, she asked for space, and the least I can do after everything I’ve done is to give her what she wants.”

“She’s with someone else now.”

His voice nearly cracked on the last word, and I felt a pang of sympathy for him. It would be a harsh twist of fate if Estella turned him down, but it seemed more likely the longer he hesitated.

Eva and Luz were still having those nightmares, and it had me on edge. I didn’t let Max in on that, though I knew it was partly why I’d blown up at him.

It was tough not to point fingers at him when he acted like this, but he was right; I had no place to judge, alpha or not.

After his last words, I let him be. What else could I say? For all his good qualities, Max is a stubborn guy with his own moral compass.

If things were different, I’d respect him. Hell, I do respect him, but I can’t shake the thought that he should have been born a human. His current state seems to weigh him down.

The Goddess messed up with him.