ten

I don't see billie for the next few days.

ive been growing pretty close with kai and even when im not working them, ive grown pretty close to finneas too.

both kai and finneas make me laugh so hard I usually ride home on my bike, my stomach aching.

on my day off I go grocery shopping with my grandma and we bake cookies like I used to when I was younger with her and my mom.

I told my grandma about billie and she said she knew about billie from the few times she'd been in the store or seen her around in LA.

less than a month in town and I was already filling my grandma on gossip I promised I wouldn't tell her.

but I always make sure to keep my stories short and sweet, keeping out the details and definitely not mentioning pirate.

pirate is for me and me only.

my grandma decides she wants to go out to dinner with me and picks her favourite little old hollywood 50s diner.

inside we sit at the stools where a waitress in baby blue uniform makes us strawberry milkshakes while we wait for our stack of pancakes.

apparently these pancakes are 'world-famous' but honestly, I give them a one star rating.

when I tell grandma I think they're trash and pulls her face, sticking her fork in my stack of pancakes and taking a bite.

"I don't know what you're talking about, these are one of my favourite pancakes in LA"

"you should've ordered something else instead of moaning"

I roll my eyes and scan around the diner, to see if I can see anyone who remotely looks around my age but there's only older people and families.

"still haven't found her?"

I accidentally confessed about pirate to my grandma, it was only the basics because she didn't really understand the purpose of an internet friend.

im surprised she didn't freak out like my dad would if I was to ever tell him.

but he doesn't really pay attention to my life or what im really doing on my phone.

and I can tell he isn't really bothered about how im doing because we've barely spoken, apart from me letting him know ive arrived and when I started my job.

he never messages me first though.

I try not to think about it too much or else ill get sad.

I reach into my tote bag to pull out my sketchbook, opening it up on the back map and list of stores pirate could potentially work in.

ive marked the few stores ive been with a large X.

"here are places ive been" I point to the list with the X written beside them, turning my sketchbook to face her.

"how do you know she wasn't working these places but just wasn't in that day?"

"I don't, but I figured ill re-visit a few places and see if I spot anyone looking my age"

I have seen a few people looking my age but glancing at them or having small talk, ive ruled out the possibility of them being pirate.

she grabs my hand and I look into her eyes, swallowing my mouthful of pancakes. "keep looking blossom, you're gonna find her"

"I knew I moved in with you for a reason" I smile and she squeezes my hand picking up her milkshake "you kind of had too. besides, why wouldn't you wanna live with me?"

"because you're a nosey lil old lady"

"hey! don't you call me old"

"what are you then?" I raise my brow at her and she looks over my shoulder, smiling when her eyes land on someone.

"good afternoon handsome"

harry?

"good afternoon marie" his mouth curls at the corner, just slightly.

I can't read his face, especially with his sunglasses on. "hi darlin"

I look between them and my grandma clears her throat. "come and sit down sweetheart"

harry pulls up a chair and clears his own throat, a blush painting his cheeks.

is there something going on?

I still have no idea how they met and why they're friends.

are they even friends?

"im loving the eyeliner" harry smiles, finally taking his sunglasses off.

"I'll do yours sometime" I smile "you know, if you want too"

"I'd love that, how are you liking LA?"

"I feel like it's a different planet" I laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear "I like it, just not of a big fan of how hot this weather is"

that makes him laugh and he turns to my grandma "have you taken her to that diner of fifth avenue?"

"not yet, you haven't been have you?"

"I have no idea where you're even talking about"

harry smiles and shakes his head "ive got a busy couple of weeks but we should take her"

WE?

they're a we?

harry stands up and my grandma stands up too "give me a second sage, I gotta talk to harry about something"

she pulls out a wad of cash from her purse to pay for our bill and walks over to the counter, joining harry.

he leans closer to her and glances at me, talking to her about something. it doesn't seem to be important but the way he's looking at her, it all comes into focus.

my grandma is dating a man who's probably closer to my age than hers.

he does seem nice.

pretty hot.

I hope they are seriously together because the way they're smiling at each other makes it seem like they're hella in love.

man im fucking jealous.

harry leans closer and I turn my head, not wanting to watch them.

I certainly don't want to watch them kissing.

I glance around and that's when I see someone sitting at the edge of the counter, looking about my age.

she's drinking a cup of coffee.

she moves her arm and I notice two things; first being the phoebe bridgers t-shirt she's wearing and the book I spoke with pirate about a few months ago.

my heart rate picks up as I admire her reading in the corner, engrossed in the book.

she's wearing a jacket and a skirt, with ripped tights and converse as well as a bunch of chains and rings.

there's a tote bag hung on the back of her seat which include a few pin badges, one of them being the rainbow flag.

oh my fucking god.

I watch as her knee bounces and she bites her lip, not aware im watching her every move, including when she reaches up to tuck a strand of hair out of her face.

she's so pretty but she's nothing like billie.

GOD, what am I saying?

I push her out of my mind and focus on the girl in front of me.

the possibility of her being pirate is real.

and scary.

this is so much harder than I thought it would be.

while my grandma is still talking with harry, distorted, I pull myself up off my chair.

even if it is her, she'll have no idea who I am.

to her, I'll just be a girl in the diner, not blossom.

I take a deep breath and step closer.

"phoebe"

the mystery girl looks up from her book and furrows her brows "excuse me?"

"your shirt" I explain, rocking on the balls of my feet, fiddling with my rings. "phoebe bridgers"

I can't help myself, I love phoebe.

her head glances back down to her book and she smiles.

wow she's got a beautiful smile.

"you're the only person to recognise who it is. ive been wearing this shirt for over a year" her voice sounds almost british, but it's nothing what I imagined pirate to sound like.

it's still beautiful though.

"im a huge Phoebe fan; saviour complex, day after tomorrow, funeral, I mean all of her songs are literal masterpieces"

"yeah she's one of my favourite artists"

"ive seen that she's performing at peach festival" I throw the bait out there, seeing if she takes it.

"yeah my friend was telling me about it" she smiles, closing her book to give me her full attention.

huh, I can't tell whether she's even going or not.

"who's your favourite artist?" I ask her, wanting to keep talking with her, especially about music because that's how pirate and I met.

"uh probably lana del rey, what about you?"

that's not pirate favourites but it's one of her top ten favourites.

"I like old music, frank sinatra, peggy lee, johnny mathis" I trail off, not wanting to talk too much.

she might not even want to talk to me.

"I love old music, especially on record"

"yes!"

"it's Gabrielle"

I realise she's introducing herself to me.

huh, Gabrielle?

i've always wondered why pirate chose her name but I wasn't ever expecting her to be called Gabrielle though.

there's still a possibility because we never used our real names.

does she even feel like the right person?

my heart is racing and i'm still excited to be talking to someone who loves phoebe as much as I do I guess.

"im sage" I say and then decide to add "im new in town"

"cool, it's alway nice to meet another phoebe and lana fan"

my heart is beating so fast.

"it's nice to meet you too"

"I gotta get to work, but if you ever wanna go for a coffee sometime I work at rich bitch books down the street"

"I might take you up on that" I hate coffee but any chance to potentially see pirate again sounds amazing.

this is not a woman who almost got me fired for swearing in a bunch of customers in the store.

I give her a small wave and walk over to my grandma, who's now standing alone, watching me.

"who was that?" my grandma asks, watching Gabrielle take another sip of her coffee and open her book once again.

"ive no idea, but my search for pirate seems to be getting warmer"

✪pirate is online!

blossom: anything new in your life?

pirate:....like?

blossom:I don't know. has anything happened which has recently made you a little more hopeful about the future

blossom:I think I have

pirate: me too now that you mention it

pirate:kinda

pirate: how far ahead in the future are we talking? tomorrow? next week? next year?

blossom: I don't like to think too far ahead into the future honestly

blossom: I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings

pirate: you're definitely a glass half empty kinda girl aren't you

blossom: true

pirate: so....

pirate: the peach festival...

blossom: what about it

pirate: you gonna ask your dad about it?

blossom: maybe I already have

pirate: and?????

blossom: he's thinking about it

blossom: and so am I