nineteen

✪pirate is offline.

✪blossom is offline.

*no new messages*

arms hug me tightly from behind.

"im so so sorry" kai voice says into my back. "how will you ever forgive me?"

it's the following day and ive had approximately 0 sleep.

all I could think about was billies lips gently kissing my neck and it was driving me insane.

im standing behind the register with a coffee in hand, ready to start the day.

although I'd rather be anywhere but here.

I wanna be in bed.

"there's nothing to forgive" I tell kai, leaning into their touch.

im just relieved they haven't asked about billie.

although I know it's coming.

"so...you and billie?"

there it is.

"she drove me home"

"and..?"

"and nothing"

so much for avoiding talking about billie.

great.

im glad they can't see my face right now.

"im just saying, you two are spending an awful lot of time together and are asking me a lot of questions"

"I haven't asked any questions"

have I?

"and you're giving her a lot of looks which scream I wanna ride your pole"

"you're insane" I shake my head in protest but I can't life, imaging billie on a dancing pole at her studio may have crossed my mind once or twice.

no biggie.

"hmm" kai kisses my head and then lets go and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

she's here.

"good morning eilish" i hear kai say and i briefly close my eyes.

"hello you"

my heart rate picks up and I don't look behind me, taking a sip of my coffee, glancing up to the clock to see how long left until the store opens.

why is she here?

"hey princess" I feel billie beside me and I exhale through my nose, rolling my eyes under my closed lids.

"oh hi billie"

"you good?"

"why wouldn't I be?"

I don't know if this is my imagination but does she smell extra sex dream-y?

did she do that on purpose?

is she wearing more because I told her how good she smells?

or am I just overthinking this?

I need to stop thinking about the word sex when she's right in-front of me.

"I got a guitar lesson this morning" billie tells me, almost as if I asked.

which I didn't.

and I wasn't thinking either.

"anyways what are you doing after work?"

what.

"why you asking?" kai says from beside me and I look over to them to see them smirking at me.

billie nudges them away. "I think finneas wants you kai, I swear I heard him call you"

"oh is this a private conversation? it doesn't look like you're in private to me"

billie rolls her eyes and ignores kai, looking at me. "well?"

"im not busy" I squeak out.

"good, you're busy now"

"I am?"

"mhm" billie pulls out her phone, unlocks it and holds it in-front of me.

"I need your number princess"

kai is watching us as I tap my number in like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"ill text you" billie winks, knowing kai can't see their face.

she saunters off upstairs and I turn to kai, holding my finger up. "don't say a fucking word"

they laugh out loud and unlocks the register, ready for the customers to enter the store.

"I knew that bitch was asking too many questions about you"

my phone pings twice and I look at the screen seeing a text message.

unknown number: I just wanna say

unknown number: u look cute today princess

I lock my phone and slide it into my pocket, ignoring the butterflies swimming around in my stomach.

what is this girl doing to me?

and why do I like it so much?

***

"why won't you tell me where we're going?"

"because" billie turns up her music and I groan, looking out the window.

after my shift, billie was waiting in the parking lot for me, a smirk plastered on her face.

she opened the passenger door without saying anything and then drove off, again without another word.

I asked her where we were going but she said nothing and has had her music on since.

she's been driving for about twenty minutes and im attempting to not freak out.

which isn't surprisingly difficult when billie is right beside me.

"ill give you a clue" billie says from beside me and I turn to face her.

"go on then"

"we'll be on the floor"

is this bitch for real?

"dude that gives away nothing"

billie just grins and I roll my eyes.

when billie turns the corner to a dog shelter, billie turns the music down and pulls into a space near the front, killing the engine.

a dog shelter?

"why are we here?"

"come and meet some puppies" billie climbs out, walking around to open my car door.

I follow her inside, brushing down the back of my skirt.

when we open the door, the lady at the desk smiles when she see's billie.

"hey billie, they've just finished cleaning, do you need anything?"

"no thanks Lisa"

"and who's this pretty girl?"

"im sage" i smile "nice to meet you"

"sage?"

"yes ma'am"

Lisa just glances to billie and smiles. "have fun ladies" she holds out a key which billie takes, grabbing onto my hand.

I interlock out fingers and she pushes the door open and I hear the glorious barking of all of the beautiful puppies.

billie leads me to the end of the hall and opens the door at the end where the cries get cuter.

puppies.

without a word billie unlocks a door which is a cubical with a pitbull and a bunch of babies.

"hi mama, how we doing?" the mother wags her tail, staying laid down while her babies nurse.

billie closes the door behind me and sits down on the floor, stroking the head of the mother. "come and sit down"

silently I sit down, in awe of all the beautiful puppies around me.

one of the puppies walks over to me with their little tail wagging and i pick it up and gently place it on my lap, stroking its big belly.

"hi little baby, is your belly full of milk?" another puppy comes waddling over and I gently pick it up, holding it in front of my face.

I wish I could bring them home.

silently, billie pulls two of the puppies onto her lap, talking quietly to the momma.

"this is my favourite place in the world"  billie says without looking up at me and I focus my attention on the puppies, not wanting billie to stop talking.

"I was a sad kid, when I stopped drinking and went to therapy I found other ways to express my emotions without doing anything dangerous"

"I love to work in the studio and make music. I mean no one ever hears it but music is my life"

"and I love puppies. if I could adopt every single puppy which comes in here I would. so instead I volunteer here on my days off, I walk the puppies, feed them, sit with them and just hang out so they're not alone"

I never would've thought big bad billie spends her free times volunteering at the animal shelter.

seeing this side of billie is something id never have exepected when i first met her.

what other secrets is she hiding?