07 : nerd and hoe

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

"What type of question is that?"

"I asked what are you doing at a party, goodie two shoes?"

Kamil rolls his eyes, "Only after you answer why were you sitting in a room half-naked?"

I squid my eyes at him, "I was in a bra. And I was making out with someone—"

"That I can see."

"Yup, so she said that she will be back but it's been like an hour."

"Who were you with?"

"Ashley."

"Ashley Lancaster?"

"There is only one Ashley in our grade."

"I saw her arguing with Riley downstairs—"

"Oh, so sad." I pout, feeling sad for her. "Fights usually drain me mentally."

"—but then they started kissing each other aggressively."

"Good for her." I suck in a deep breath before yelling, "Get it, SIS!"

Kamil clasp a hand over his ear, "Jeez, you are even more insufferable when you are drunk." My lips into a smile at him. For some reason, after forcing me into my shirt, Kamil sits on the opposite side of the bed while I lay my back on the headboard which might fall if I bang my body one more time.

As a joke, I am banging my body on the headboard because I am restless. The silence between us is very awkward. I tap my fingers on my knees, "What are you doing here?"

"Doing here?"

"On—at the party." My head tilts to one of the sides, "I thought you were a goodie two shoe."

"Shut it. Libby dragged me here. She and the rest of the gang wanted to get drunk tonight. Someone needed to make sure that they end up home."

I nod. After a few beats, I ask. "Kamil?"

"Hm?"

"Do you ever realise that your friends only want you when they need your help?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think your friends are selfish."

"Avery—"

"They always depend on you for the dumbest thing. And I know I have not known all of you for a long time, but I hate you all and I notice these things. I know you do their homework, I know you cover for them and I also know that you are the reason that even get invited to parties or any private high school events—"

"Avery, stop. You don't know my friends and you sure as hell don't know how they treat me. I do all those things because I want to. You are drunk and saying stupid shit. Do you want me to take you home?"

I fold my arms across my chest, "I am not that drunk. And there it goes. Your saviour complex except it does not show when I am getting bullied. Then you are a bystander—" The look on his face stops my words. His face has morphed into a grey cloud that regrets its lightning and the storm he caused. Or the one where let it all happen. The bullying started in seventh grade when I snitched about how Kate kept whistling from the back of the class. It was just teasing and meaningless jokes behind my back but gradually it got worse in freshman year when she made me the prank object in the assembly. I had a mild panic attack in the bathroom that day which a teacher saw and called Valerie to take me home.

It is not just punches and blows that count as bullying but all those things that steal rest from me, bruise my confidence into self-doubting myself every minute. I fold my arms across my chest, I do not care how much anybody can be a nice person. To me, they are an asshole if they pretend to act well in front of me but refuse to stand up when I need them the most. My legs swing off the bed, roughly they handle my weight. I am not much drunk to walk myself out of the room with Kamil's eyes trained on my back. He knows better than to stop me.

—

HERE'S THE THING ABOUT STARTING TO THROW DRINKS DOWN YOUR THROAT AGAIN... I don't remember what was the thing. But I definitely can feel the colours swing in front of my eyes and the hands of the wall clock reach forward to grab my neck. Shouldn't they be pointing at the numbers? I blink twice and they go back but the colours remain. They are messing up with my brain. Tears form in my eyes, I hate that I am so out of control of my limbs that they throw themselves on the couch. The sudden force of gravity might also trigger the alcohol in my stomach. In the corner of my eyes, Kate is resting on the couch with her head on a tall and tan guy. Micheal? Miquelon? Mimi, maybe? There is a glass in Melon's hand and I stretch my leg just a bit so that the glass in his hand stumbles and falls onto her hair. Kate gasps, jumping off him while someone laughs. Oh, that's me. Luckily, no one notices.

I lift my phone to call my best friend... Alex? No, Elliot. But the brightness knocks me out. Oh fuck, I tuck my phone in my bra like an old person who does not have a pocket. Figures blur in front of me, I can see Libby— no, Kate— walking away with Melancholy— Matthew! Good residence. I don't know how long I stay on the couch, trying to suppress my stomach pain. But soon, I feel a hand slapping my cheeks.

"Oh— no. Not into that." My vision clears and it's the Kama— Kamil bending down to me.

His voice is so distant and it hurts my ears, "Avery? You okay?"

I groan, "No."

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"No," I say twisting on the couch. "Can't go home. Leave me here."

He looks desperate, "Riley wants everyone to leave except they want to help clean tomorrow."

"No. Cleaning."

"Yeah, I figured. Can I take you to Elliot's? Do you remember her address?"

"I don't remember—" Oh Lord, I want to puke, "— my address. Leave me at the dumpster."

"Can I take you to my house?"

"What?"

"I can take you to mine if that's comfortable for you."

"Is it comfortable for you? I thought you hate me."

He crinkles his nose just like I expected, "Hate is a strong word."

"Heavily dislike." I roll my legs off the couch when my vision stills. But the moment I stand up, gravity dares to act stronger than me and Kamil takes me by my arms just when I lose my balance.

He shakes his head and I can smell sweat over him which is fucking disgusting. "Yeah, you are coming home with me."

"Aw, my Prince Charming."

"I will drop you on the floor, Ramos. I swear to god, I will not hesitate."

—

BEING HALF DRUNK IN ANGER CAN BE CONFUSING BUT WATCHING KAMIL BEING A CHICKEN IS CERTAINLY WORSE. It is very early in the morning when the cold air and lack of a blanket wake me up in a room that I have never witnessed in my little life. My vision is sharp but I do not process anything until a hand lays in front of my face with a pill in it and a glass of water. Usually, I would ask him whether it is a rat poison pill but I would gladly accept that to get rid of this headache. I clutch the rock-like pillow and realize it might be the reason Kamil is so rigid. His pillow gave me a neck ache, no wonder he is angry all the time.

"You should call your sister. She must be worried." I hear his voice but I know that she is used to this most of the time.

I try to search for the clock but the hangover takes the better of me, "What is the time?"

"It's almost six in the morning."

"Why are you up so early? Why am I up so early?"

Kamil stands up and I remember that he was sitting on the bed moments ago. The medicine works and I notice the lavender walls of his room covered with astronomical posters and anime characters. On the right side of the bed, there is a study desk against the wall with a window right above it. I only notice its presence when the cold air washes over my face. His room is just like I expected but nothing like I imagined. I did know about the presence of anime posters and the telescope on the window but there are drawings clipped on a vision board in the farther left corner. It's barely noticeable due to a jute laundry box on a black chair.

I squint my eyes, "You sketch?"

If Kamil had a coffee in his hand, I am sure he would spit it off, "You want something to eat? Wait, I will bring you a sandwich." He has got to be stupid if he wants to leave me alone in a place which also has something he does not want to talk about. I work my way to the wall and push the chair just enough for me to see his sketches. Because damn, I never knew Kamil can draw so good. There are various sketches of majestical creatures whose names I do not even know but they all seem powerful enough to tell a story. I might not know shit about arts, but Val taught me tons of things about human figures when she used to be in high school. And from what I know, Kamil is fucking wonderful. In sketching.

He comes back with a roughly made sandwich. The hunger takes the better of me as I put it in my mouth without giving a damn about its presentation. Kamil looks a year younger when his eyebrows are not pulled together. I nod, "No matter how badly this sandwich was holding itself together. You sure know how to make it tasty."

"You are just hangover."

"That too. Why don't you participate in art competitions or exhibitions? They are worth showing off."

Kamil shrugs his shoulder, his hands going through his hair. "They are not that good."

"Who told you that? Your friends?" He stays silent, "Okay, it's official that your friends are major assholes. Please do not pay attention to them, trust me. Your art is worth it."

"It's not that."

"Then what's it?"

"I don't like attention."

"You are in the group of the most popular jocks."

"They don't like that kind of attention."

I flip myself in his chair with the plate, "Tell me one good reason why you hold on to them so much. This does not even feel like friendship anymore, but a business deal."

"I never had friends, Avery. For all the school years, I know what it feels like to be alone in a crowd and trust me, I had no friends before them. And they might be a little restrictive but they were not always this bad."

"What about I will be your friend, if you can stop hating me? I promise to be the best friend you ever had."

"Really?"

"Yup. So, officially good friends?"

It is glad to see Kamil smile. "By the way, you puked all over me. As a friend, I am going to give you my clothes, and clean them before the end of the week."

—

an/ very trashy chapter but things have been super rough so 😊

on a side note, I made it to the second round of onc!!!!! even though I lost all the motivation to complete the word count required to get into the third round, I am still happy <3

happy day/night <3