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Chapter 63

Chapter 27 - Kind of Shakespearean

Blue Ribbon

"Closure is just as delusive - it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief."

**************

Lilly's POV

My chest felt heavy, my heart beating so fast and I didn't understand if it was breaking or finally healing after all those years. My gaze on the warm sand, feeling it wrap over my feet and between my toes with every step I took forward, limping still due to my twisted ankle.

The ache had disappeared from there, the inner chaos enough to blunt any outside physical pain. I pressed my hand over my chest, asking my heart to calm down, to beat one at a time, I forced him to understand and comprehend the words that were exchanged just minutes ago. I allowed him to come in terms with that old wound, to wrap it up and leave it to heal on its own.

It was no longer a half-told story anymore. It ended, it had to somehow. It's...what I needed, what I was waiting for since five years, to hear him say it out loud, that he really loved me, that he wished he fought more, that we both messed it up, which is the main reason we really don't fit together anymore. Because when one of us gives up, the second doesn't even try. We were bound to fail since day one.

And as painful as it feels to let go of that significant part of my life, it helped me relax a bit, it made it certain, forcing me to finally accept it. To close that page and just never open it again.

"So, I leave you alone for a minute only and you end up breaking yourself," The words and the familiar voice had me lifting my head up, my gaze falling on Noah, a few meters away from me, he was looking at my bandaged ankle before his eyes fell on my face.

"Noah," I mumbled lowly, blinking my eyes in shock, not expecting to see him here.

He smiled, his head tilting to the side and I broke into a big smile before I jogged forward, limping before I threw my arms around him, "I missed you," I mumbled, and he chuckled lowly at how I jumped on him before he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back, just as tight and I asked, "What are you doing here?"

I edged backward and he explained, "I heard about Christian escaping and they were doubling security," His eyebrow raised, "So I offered to come and watch over my favorite girl," He said smiling and I nodded, my heart still in the process of calming down due to what happened, "I am glad you did," I said, my voice low before I leaned back into his embrace, my temple pressing over his chest as I mumbled, "You have no idea how badly I need a friend."

He ran his hand over my back, soothingly, "Well, that's what I am here for."

I nodded, my eyelids gliding down, that melancholic feeling never once leaving me be. Since the moment Christian exposed everything and turned my life upside down, I haven't had a moment where I felt...happy. It's been a whirlwind of guilt, pain and heartbreak. The worst part is that the pain has faded away by now, leaving me hangover with its aftermath, the numbness, the sadness, and they're just a hundred times worse.

"Hey, you okay?" Noah asked, pulling away to look at my face, somehow sensing all the negative energy vibrating off me.

A small smile lifted my lips and I nodded, "Yeah, I am," At least my parents and brother are healthy and safe...for now. I shouldn't ask for more.

His gaze flickered to my ankle, his eyebrow raising and I shook my head, dismissing the topic, "You know me, I need supervision all the time or I will trip, fall, and end up hurting myself," I said, my words holding a double meaning, a one he understood.

Worry cut lines between his eyebrows, his arm going around my shoulders and pulling me along as we headed toward the house, "And I am not letting you do that anymore," His words held a promise and I nodded, letting myself relax for now.

We walked inside the house and my steps paused in the hallway, my gaze drifting to the living room, where Nathan and Wyatt sat on the edge of their seats, excitedly playing some game on the playstation, I looked at the TV screen and saw heads being exploded and blood spluttering, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, the game seemed fitting to our lives nowadays.

Maria's soft voice grabbed my attention, she was sitting in her father's lap, talking to him about something and an immediate smile pulled at my lips. She was the cutest little thing I've ever seen. Right then, Nikolas's eyes flickered to us, noticing our presence and Noah pulled his arm away from me, a bit threatened by Nikolas's glare on him, "I haven't seen your father yet," Noah said, clearing his throat and looking at me, "I will go look for him, then I will be back, okay?"

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, sure," I said and he walked away whereas I walked inside the living room, the thought still too insane for me to digest. I still think of Noah as my classmate and my best friend, not...one of them; A bodyguard my father appointed for me. God, it's crazy.

I placed my hand over Maria's head, grabbing her attention to me as I settled down beside them. She turned to me and smiled, "Lilly," She said excitedly and my smile widened, "Tell daddy!" She added, her eyes narrowing at her father as she pointed at him.

Nikolas rolled his eyes, "Tell him what?" I asked and Maria pouted, her expression irresistible, "I wanna go and play with Chase," She mumbled and her father shook his head, "No, you won't," He simply said and she nodded her head, "Yes, I will!"

"No," He said, strictly and she looked angry, her little eyebrows pulling closer, "Yes, I like Chase!"

Oh little kid, don't we all...

His eyebrow raised at her words, "No, you don't!" He shot back and I just sat there trying to suppress my laughter at these two.

She shot him a glare, "Yes!"

"Marie," He said her nickname, strictly.

"Nik," She said back, crossing her arms over her chest.

His eyebrow raised in warning as he called her full name, "Maria."

She gave him the same look and called his name, "Nikolas!"

His strict demeanour broke down and his lips twitched, fighting his smile at the little girl before he pulled her closer and kissed her head, "You really are your mother's daughter, aren't you?" He said, his tone much warmer.

She smiled, "Yes, I will tell mommy," She said, feeling accomplished as she jumped off his lap, "She will say yes," She added, giving her father a teasing look before she ran out of the room, calling for her mother.

He watched her walk away with a breathless smile on his face before his eyes flickered to me. I immediately pulled my phone out, "Uh, there is something that I need to show you," I mumbled as I opened the messages Christian sent me last night, "I still didn't show it to dad," God knows how much he hates Christian, he won't take his written words into consideration, "And also, I have a feeling this concerns you more," I added as I handed him the phone, addressing Louis's motives.

Christian wants to hurt my father, but Louis, it's obvious he is after Nikolas. Hurting Max, it was his way to make Nikolas come out of his hiding...and I have a feeling, that's all he ever wanted; to get Nikolas out and into the filed, making the task of targeting him easier.

His confused gaze flickered from me to the phone in his hand and he started reading. His grip tightened over the phone, and I watched how the muscle's of his jaw tightened, his expression shifting a hundred eighty degree, proving how big and dangerous all of this is.

"He learned from the best," He said the words out loud, the look in his eyes pure deadly, the green taking a much darker shade and it felt like if Louis would be here in front of him now, he would snap his neck without thinking twice about it.

"From whom?" I asked, my voice low and hesitant, a bit scared of the energy coming off him.

He placed the phone down and rushed a hand over his face, grasping into control before he faced me, "From my father," He answered, only doubling my confusion.

I gulped down, my mind going back to all the files Christian showed me, "Isaac?" I asked, checking and Nikolas nodded, his jaw ticking, "The one and only."

"He is...dead, right?" I checked again, still trying to make sense of that messed up past that I brought into our lives again.

Nikolas scoffed and he shook his head, "Apparently not," His sarcastic words added more to my confusion, "Physically, yeah, he died...but just like he said," He added, his voice dropping lower, as if talking to himself, "Even dead, he is the winner," He scoffed again, his hand tightening into a fist, "So no, he didn't exactly die, he continued to live through him, exactly like he wanted to."

"But...what's Louis's relationship to your father?" I asked.

Nikolas's eyes fell on me, the rage multiplying behind his eyes and he shook his head, "His name is not Louis," He grated out, and I really didn't understand a damn thing.

His gaze flickered to Nathan and Wyatt on the other side of the room, checking if they heard us or not, and when he looked back at me, "I need to go and talk to your father about this," He said, getting to his feet and I stood up as well, "If he texts you again, immediately tell us," He added, more strict and I nodded, "If he calls, don't answer," He warned me and I nodded again, I wasn't planning to do that anyway.

"Don't write him back, Lilly," He added, his eyebrow raising and I shook my head, hating how everyone's trust in me is so low lately, "I definitely won't," I mumbled, a lump in my throat.

He edged forward, his hand coming to my arm, a soothing touch, "I know," He said, his tone softer than before, "I trust you, Lilly," He added, reading my inner thoughts, "But we can't trust Christian yet, he is also blinded by revenge, so don't fall for it, because in the end of the day, he wants one thing only."

I gulped down, he is right, despite everything, Christian still wants to hurt my dad. I rubbed a hand over my aching throat and nodded in understatement, "I won't, I promise."

****************

I always wondered who in their right mind would ever work on a vacation. Today I got my answer and it is...me.

I thought to myself as I ended the Zoom meeting and lowered my laptop's screen. To be honest, it didn't bother me; Working during these times is the only thing keeping me in check. Improving that part of myself is what's taking away the stress of...all of this.

This definitely isn't a vacation. It's downright the most stressful period of my life. I lifted my head up and looked around me, staring ahead at the calm sea, at the sun that was slowly making its way down, engulfing the water with its pink hues and I let out a low breath, at least I have a nice view.

My small moment was interrupted by whoever took a seat on the chair beside me. I turned my head, a smile curving my lips as my gaze fell on uncle Ashton. He lifted his head from the phone and gave me a wink, "What are you doing?" he asked.

I pointed at my laptop, "We had a long meeting, it just finished," I answered.

He placed his phone down on the table, his eyebrow raising, "Working on a vacation, huh," He commented, "You are turning into me," He added playfully and I chuckled, "Which is kind of relieving, Alex would never do that," He said with a shake of his head.

I leaned forward, smiling, "Yeah, dad asked me to shut the laptop and go have fun."

He shook his head with a sigh, "Such a role model," He added sarcastically.

I let out a low laugh remembering how they both always bicker about that, "Seriously though," Uncle Ashton added, leaning forward, and giving me his full attention, "I've been hearing good things about you," His smile was genuine, like he was proud of me and it calmed me down beyond measures, "I knew you were gonna prove yourself and claim your position fast."

I could feel myself blushing, the compliment meant a lot, especially when it came from him, I always admired his commitment to his work and this meant I was really making a good job, "Thanks," I said, my grin big and wide.

"Actually, uh," I tucked my hair behind my ear, a bit anxious as I added, "There is something I want to talk to you about, concerning work."

He nodded before he looked around us, "Okay, but if Katherine comes, we're changing the subject immediately," He said, his eyebrow arching, part playful and part serious, "If my wife hears me talk about work now, then god knows what will happen."

I chuckled and nodded, "Don't worry, I've got your back," I said and he smiled, his smile just like...just like Chase's smile, very warm, tender, genuine and charming.

I let out a low breath, shaking the thought away, not allowing myself to think about him more than I did and I started talking, "So, I heard about the new branch you are planning to open," I said, "In Paris," I added and he nodded, "Yeah, well, it's more like a partnership than a new branch."

I nodded, "Yeah, and I heard how many of the employees are applying for the position opened, you know as the manager of that branch," I said, "And I know I just started and there is a lot for me to learn, but there is time till New year's for that deal to be finalized and till then, I can improve myself a lot and I just wanted to ask you...how can I work on myself more to be fitting for that position, because I want to apply for it like everyone else," I want to be picked only if I am worthy of it, not just because I am the boss's daughter.

Ashton's expression shifted a bit, turning more serious, "Lilly, I have no doubt that if given the chance, you will prove you can do it, but this position means you'll be needed there more than here," He explained, "You will have to go and come but mainly, you will have to stay in Paris."

Well, isn't that the dream?

I nodded, "I know that."

He gave me a look I understood, "I will help you as much as I can, I will teach you all there is but before that, how about you go and talk to your father first," He suggested.

I swallowed hard, "He won't accept, he doesn't like it when I go away," I mumbled, fidgeting with my fingers, "He will get angry on me again."

I felt his hand rest over mine, grabbing my attention back to him, "He won't be angry at you, he is a father, Lilly, it's his job to worry about you," He explained and I knew that, I knew his worry was always in the right place considering all that happened in the past, "Believe me, there is nothing harder for a parent than to let his kids go," His smile was a bit sad, "We still can't accept the fact that you all are gown ups now," He added, "It's scary that you don't need us anymore, because...you are all we have."

I nodded, "I know that, I know you are right but that doesn't mean I am gonna have to stay in one place all my life," I explained, "I see this as a great opportunity and I wanna see if I can do it."

Of course that would be after all of this is fixed. There is still so much time and till then, hopefully all of this, Christian or Louis or whoever, it will be handled without anyone getting hurt.

He nodded, "That's why, go and talk with your father first, explain it to him and then based on what you both agree, come to me and we'll start working on it, okay?"

I smiled, a bit hopeful and when I got up to my feet, he did so as well. Without hesitation, I inched closer and wrapped my arms around him, "Thank you," I mumbled and he wrapped his arms around me, "You don't have to thank me," He said, his hand on my hair and when I pulled away, he looked down at me, "I didn't have a daughter, so you pretty much take that place, you know that."

My smile widened at his words. I am just so lucky, maybe not in the romance department of this life, but I am lucky because I have a big family that cares about me beyond measures and maybe...maybe that's enough, maybe I shouldn't ask for more, "Want a secret?" He said and I nodded, urging him to carry on.

He tucked my hair behind my ear and shook his head, "I never liked that Aylin," He said, his tone playful and I smiled, a somber one as I shook my head, "Believe me, she is much better for you son than me."

My words had his eyebrows pulling closer, they all have no idea, "I've only hurt your son, so believe me, he is better off with...Aylin or whoever else comes into his life," It still stings to say it out loud. It hurts because I always saw her as someone bad, so for her to be better than me, then, I am probably the worst.

Lines tightened over his forehead, sensing the immense sadness coming off me, my choked tone was enough, "Well, Katherine is still planning the wedding, so-" He tried to make me smile but it only tightened my chest and I shook my head, "She is gonna have to give up on that idea one day, because it's not happening."

It was the first time that I said it out loud and actually meant it.

He rested his hand over my cheek, deep worry in his gaze, "Is there anything I can do?" He asked, hoping to make me feel better and that made me smile again, Chase was so much like him.

I shook my head, "You should just be proud of him," I said, and one single tear finally escaped, "He is the best there is, and I...I just don't deserve him."

**************

Chase's POV

"I brought you a gift with me," Edward said sarcastically and pointed behind me. I placed my drink down, turning around to see Conner take a stop right beside me. He placed his handbag on the stool before he rested his hand over my shoulder, "I am back, bitches," He said, with a big grin, "Let the party start!"

I shook my head with a smile before I looked at Edward, "I knew he was coming," I said and Edward shot him a glare, "Seriously, couldn't keep your mouth shut?" He scolded him and Conner raised his arms up, "What, why would I surprise him, he isn't my girlfriend."

My eyebrow raised, "You wish," I mumbled as I placed the glass's tip to my mouth and Conner punched my shoulder lightly. I turned to him, my eyebrow raising, "Where is your girlfriend by the way?"

He shot me a glare, understanding how I was asking him mainly to annoy him, "I don't have a girlfriend," He shot out and I rolled my eyes at his nonsense.

"Hold on, what about that girl, what was her name?" Edward said, looking at me for help, "Sally," I answered and Edward nodded. Conner only glared at us as he ordered his drink, "We are not dating, Jesus, why is everyone interested in our relationship?"

"So, you admit it's a relationship," I said, again teasing him and taking my revenge for all the times he did it to me.

He groaned in annoyance, "Shut up," He grumbled, glaring at me and then at Edward, daring us to say more.

Edward chuckled before he turned to me, "So, when does your vacation end?" He asked, "I don't like my current co-pilot," He mumbled in disgust, "He doesn't understand my sense of humor."

"In a week, I will be back," I answered, hoping this vacation can end today before tomorrow.

He nodded in satisfaction, "God, what am I gonna do when you become a captain of your own," He mumbled and shot me a glare, "Stop growing, will you?" He mumbled, "I feel really old."

I chuckled, "You are just thirty," I said and he nodded in horror, "Yeah, that's quite a lot."

Conner looked at him, "And to think you are still single, man you really missed the train," He said, taking back his revenge.

Edward shot him a glare, "I should've thrown you off that plane," He said ever so seriously.

Conner gave him a bored look before he turned to me, "By the way, your ex girlfriend is here," He said and I nodded, "She texted me she is in Edward's flight," I said, "She asked if we can meet up before she has to go back."

Edward gave me a confused look, "And?"

"And what?"

"You told her to leave you the hell alone, I hope," Edward said, raising his eyebrow. For some reason, he was never a fan of Aylin.

"When we ended things up, we agreed to stay friends," I pointed out and Edward rolled his eyes.

Conner scoffed, "And you dare tease me about my relations," He said in disbelief and I looked at them both in utter loss, "What?" I shot out, annoyed by this.

"How is Lilly?" Edward asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, my jaw tightening.

He gave me an innocent look, "I was just asking, Jesus," He grumbled.

I looked away from them, I took my drink and gulped the thing down, hoping that burn could erase from my mind what was exchanged between us today. My gaze fell on the phone beside me, it vibrated and Sally's name flashed through the screen, I turned to Conner and gave him a knowing look. He took the phone and grumbled something like, "Don't start," before he walked away to answer it.

"He is such a clown," Edward said, smiling as he looked at Conner's current giddy state.

I looked at him, "What is it?" I asked with a low sigh, addressing the whole thing about Aylin.

He shrugged, "Just, don't completely trust the girl, that's all," His words had my eyebrows pulling closer, confused, "Do you know something?" He talked like there is a reason behind his dislike.

"Well, not exactly, but," He started, sighing, "For example, she wasn't supposed to be on my flight here, but last moment, she appeared, taking some other girl's place, and now knowing she texted you, I am just saying, I don't trust the girl."

"It could be just a coincidence," I started and he shook his head, "You see the best in people, Ryder, don't," He warned.

"Even though," I started, feeling the need to defend her and Edward shook his head, "She is just..." He looked at a loss of words, "She doesn't feel genuine to me, like yeah I get it, she is doing this to get close to you again but come on," He shook his head, "That's not how you do it."

A low sigh parted my lips and I looked away, my gaze dropping down, I traced the edge of the glass as I tried to sort through the mess of thoughts occupying my head. I looked at him again and he just shook his head, explaining more, "Despite my thought about the other one," He opted not to mention her name now, "She still felt more real to me."

"Weren't you the same person who advised me to move the hell on?" I asked, my eyebrows arching.

He nodded, "Yeah, I told you," He said, "You remind me of myself a lot, I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I once did."

My eyebrows pulled closer and I turned my body around, facing him, "What is your story?" I asked, hinting at the time he said...don't we all have a Lilly in our lives.

A small smile lifted the corner of his lips, "It's similar to yours in a way," He said, taking his coke glass and drinking it up, "Man, it sucks that I can't drink alcohol now," He made a very unhappy face at the thought, "Anyway, it was the usual, high school sweethearts and all," He carried on, "I went to be a pilot, she also left to Paris to study theatre, we thought we can make it work."

He turned to me and shook his head, "We didn't obviously," He shrugged, "Well, she believed that we can't."

"And you know me, I was mainly focused on my career, I used every minute to gain flight time so I can be where I am now faster than anyone, so I couldn't balance it, my practice, her, and the whole long distance, so we agreed, we take a break and after we are both done, we see where we are and carry on from there," He ran his hand through his hair, leaning back in his seat, "She asked me to wait for her and I did," His eyes fell on me again, "I think you can guess the rest."

I nodded, understanding his unwillingness to say it out loud, "Did you see her again?" I asked, just curious.

He nodded, "Once, after graduating by three years I guess," He shrugged, as if it's too casual, "She was engaged or something, she looked happy."

"I had moved on from her, of course, but," He smiled, "She had ruined me for everyone else," He shook his head, "I can't get any of my relationships to work," He scoffed, "Because deep down, I know, well, I believe that she was the only one for me," He mocked himself, "Kind of Shakespearean, huh," He added, "Which is funny because she was the one who believed in that, happy endings and all, being the drama major herself."

He straightened himself, "Anyway, that's enough sharing for one day," He looked at his watch, "I've got a plane to fly in a bit," He got up to his feet, his hand came to my shoulder and he gave me a knowing look, "Just be careful, okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah," I said, my mind busy analyzing his story and correlating it with mine, "See you in a week," I added and he smiled, still talking as he walked away, "Come back fast, or I might end up pushing my co-pilot off the plane," I smiled and he punched Conner's shoulder, who was still busy talking with Sally, "Say hi to your girlfriend," Edward mocked and Conner shot him a glare before he left the bar.

Conner ended the call and came back to sit beside me, he rolled his eyes at the look I was giving him, "If you start, I am gonna punch you," He grumbled and I nodded, "Okay, Romeo."

He let out a frustrated sigh and before I could say anything, my eyes fell on the entrance, on Aylin as she saw me and walked closer to us. Conner noticed and mumbled under his breath, "Here we go."

I shot him a glare and when she was close, I got up to my feet, she smiled and immediately reached for me, her arms wrapped around my neck, and I hugged her back, a friendly one, "Hey, how are you?" She asked.

"I am good," I answered and she pulled away, her eyes flickering to Conner. His eyebrow raised, more like accusing, "Aren't you leaving in Edward's flight?" He asked and I wanted to facepalm at his Sherlock investigating tone.

She shook her head, "No, I was transferred to a flight tomorrow."

Conner nodded, "Oh wow," He said, ever so sarcastically, "How convenient."

I shot him a glare, asking him to shut the hell up. What's with everyone today? He only rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone, "I better go and talk with my girlfriend," He said, his tone telling me he'd rather have me annoy him about the girlfriend topic than witness me and Aylin together now.

Don't I have the best friends ever or what?

***************

Lilly's POV

"So, you were always following me around?" I asked Noah, my eyes growing wide at the realization, "Since the first day?"

He gave me a guilty look, "Yeah," He said and I shot him a glare, "Unbelievable," I mumbled, "So, if I didn't spill my coffee on you that day, you would've kept watching me behind my back," I resisted the urge to slap him at the moment.

"Do you realize how grateful I am that you did," He gave me sheepish smile, trying to save himself form my anger.

"I still can't believe this," My eyes narrowed at him, "You didn't tell my dad everything I used to do, did you?" Oh, the horror...

He shook his head, "Of course not, I wasn't a spy for god's sake," He defended, "I was just there to protect you in case anything happens."

"That's why every time we were outside late, you'd stick to my side, and here I thought you were just being a protective friend," I shot him another glare, not done by making him feel guilty yet.

"I was being a protective friend," He stressed out.

My attention from this conversation was stolen by a near voice, a familiar one I could recognize anywhere. I turned my head, my gaze falling on the house next to ours and saw as Chase walked out of it, beside him no one but Aylin herself.

I immediately turned away, not wanting to be caught staring, "Anyway," I took the beer and placed the can to my lips, taking my first gulp, "When did you join...this thing?" I waved my hand in the air, hoping he understood what I meant without me saying it.

"You mean the mafia?" He asked, his eyebrow raising and I winced, "Don't say it out loud, I don't want to believe it, I wanna stay in denial!" I said, covering my ears and he chuckled lowly before he pulled my hands away.

"Well, they took me in when I was really young, I had no home, and no place to go to," He answered and I listened, my chest tightening at that image, "I was raised in that environment and when I grew up enough, I knew I wanted to be part of it," He added, "They gave me a home, and I wanted to give back by serving."

My eyebrows pulled closer, still trying to understand, "Doesn't it get...scary?" I asked, "I mean, for example, that time where you saved me from Christian, you got shot, you could've died," My heart clenched at the memory, I still have nightmares about the day and all the blood, "And you're okay with that?"

He gave me a small smile, "Of course I am," He said, "Like I said Lilly, this is my family," He said, addressing that underworld as family...how?

He sensed my confusion, so he clarified, "Family isn't who you're born with, it's who you die for, Lilly."

I let out a low sigh, "Oh, that's deep."

He chuckled and the low voices coming from meters away forced me to turn to that direction and steal a glance again.

"So, that's lover boy, huh," Noah said, noticing where I was looking at. I gulped down, my eyes drifting from how Aylin casually leaned against Chase's arm, both of them sitting on the beach like us on the other side, but clear for me to see everything.

I looked at Noah and his eyebrow raised, his dissatisfied eyes on Chase still, "You really have a type, don't you?"

I shot him a glare and punched his arm, "Shut up," I grumbled, "And he isn't...lover boy or whatever," I added, still glaring at his choice of words.

He took a gulp from his beer, "Yeah, he is rather occupied by the blondie."

"Uhuh," I mumbled, placing the can's tip to my mouth and took a very large gulp, refusing to think this now, refusing to let it affect me, "Anyway, I am better off like this, I don't need a man in my life," I pointed out, placing the empty can away and feeling like I need another one.

I faced Noah, my eyebrow raising, "I have enough men around who would do anything for me."

I scrunched my eyebrows, "But what am I gonna do about sex?" I pouted, sighing, "I miss sex."

My words had Noah bursting into laughter before he placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, "And I just realized how much I missed you."

A small smile lifted my lips and I leaned into his embrace, air pushed in and out of my chest, a moment of silence engulfed us and I broke it, "Noah," I called for him, "Hmm," He mumbled.

I lifted my gaze up, "I know you said that you'd die for the family or whatever but promise me that...you won't," I requested, "I have a feeling a lot of bad is coming our way and I really can't afford to lose anyone."

He gave me a reassuring nod, "Don't worry, whatever bad is coming, we'll handle it."

Everyone seems confident about this, so why am I the only one feeling that this is ending in a disaster, in death and blood. I really hope not. I am praying not, but I can't help this trepidation.

I felt Noah's hand rest over my cheek, shaking me out of those dark thoughts, "Just calm down, okay, trust me, we'll take care of everything."

I wanted to believe in that but couldn't. I gave him a nod, deciding to push these thoughts far away for now. I let out a sigh and heard footsteps get closer, I turned my head and my eyes fell on dad, he looked down at us and shot Noah a hard glare. I gulped down and pulled away from him. Damn, I can't even have a friend in this household.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Dad asked and I nodded, he was busy earlier so I couldn't discuss the whole job is Paris with him yet. I wiped the sand off my shorts and got up but dad was still busy shooting daggers at Noah, who in his turn stared back at him dumbfounded, "I'll have my talk with you later," Dad said, mostly threatening as he pointed his finger at him.

"What did I do," Noah mumbled, ever so innocently.

I tangled my arm with dad, pulling him along before he starts his episodes, "What was that?" He shot out as we walked away.

"What?" I asked, innocently, "Noah is my friend."

Dad mumbled some curses under his breath, "You sure have lots of friends," He grumbled before he winced, "Shit, you really are my daughter," He stared at me with pure fear and terror, "That's so scary."

I smiled at his tone and leaned my head against his arm, "You know that I wanna be like you," I said.

"I mean I know I am the best there is, but no, don't be," He ordered, the thought of me turning into him, terrified him beyond measures.

I chuckled, "Don't worry, Max is taking after you, he is more than enough," I said and a big smile spread over his lips, "Oh yeah, that's my boy."

I shook my head with a sigh and we settled on a spot, a bit far from anyone. Much better that way, I can't afford to be distracted by the sight of Chase and Aylin at the moment.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" He asked as I sat down on the sand, across from him, the night summer breeze engulfing us and I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling a bit cold. Dad noticed and shot me a glare before he took off his hoodie and placed it over my shoulders, "Wear something," He scolded, being his usual dramatic caring self.

I smiled and nodded, "So, uh, just promise me you won't get angry and we will talk about this in a calm civil way," I started, testing the waters and his eyes widened the slightest, "Oh shit, what did you do?" he asked in panic, "You did something, didn't you?" He facepalmed, "What trouble did you get yourself into this time? God, I am tried, can't you all just give me a break-"

"Dad, nothing happened," I interrupted his rambling with a laugh of my own, "I just wanna take your opinion in something."

He let out a relieved sigh, "Oh thank god, what is it?"

My gaze drifted away from him, my fingers busy playing with the hoodie's sleeves, "So, there is a new position that opened in the company and I want to apply for it," I started, being careful with my words, "It's the manager for the new branch in Paris," I said and his expression shifted the slightest, "I asked uncle Ashton and he said to talk with you first."

I gulped down and waited for him to say something. He still looked calm, also careful as he asked, "You know all the requirements of that position, right?" He was indirectly addressing the staying there part of it.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"It's won't be finalized till new year, which is like four months from now, it feels far but hopefully till then, there won't be any danger around, and if you agree, I want to start training from now so I can be fitting for the position...that's why I am asking for it from now," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear and waited for his answer.

He was still calm...okay, a good sign, I guess.

His eyes studied me for a long second before he asked, "Why do you want that position?" He asked, seriously addressing the matter, "What are you running from this time?"

My eyes widened a bit, his words hitting too close to home and I shook my head, "No, I am not...running-"

He gave me a knowing look, "Little bug, you are my daughter, I know you, so just like you ran away from Chase and to the UK five years ago, now you want to do it again."

I gulped down, taken aback by his words, "That was...it was different," I mumbled, "Why would you say that?"

His eyebrow raised, "Lilly, if I don't talk to you about some things, it doesn't mean I don't notice them," He said, recalling back old memories I hated, "Since that day when I dropped you off at the airport, you became a total different person," He added, pointing out the day Chase left and I followed him to the airport. It was the first time dad kind of approved of our relationship.

"You think I didn't hear you almost every night crying, Lilly, you became different, and you were just searching for an escape after and well, you did escape, but did it work?"

I still don't know the answer to that. I thought it worked, but looking back at it today, it totally failed.

I nodded, "That time, yes, I was running away trying to move on, but this time, I am not," I just want to find a place where I can call it home, I still want to find myself because she is lost, she is always lost, "I am not running away because of what Christian did," I knew he thought that, so I had to say it out loud, for once actually discussing my relationships with him without anger, "Yeah, maybe I loved him and all, but it wasn't that epic of a love to leave me broken for years," I added, "What broke me from his side is the fact that I was tricked and lied to for two long years, what broke me is that I trusted him and gave him a ticket into our lives."

Dad only listened to me and I carried on, "So, no, I am not running from him because I already moved on from that and I am hoping till that time, there won't be a Christian for me to be afraid of," I added, "I want to go because of two reasons only, I want to prove to myself that I could amount to something," I explained, "Everyone looked at me here like I am the boss's daughter, and they're right, so maybe there, it is gonna be just me, working hard and proving to everyone including myself that...I can do something on my own."

"I get that," He said and I nodded, adding, "And reason two is that I...I can't stay in this same environment, dad, because-" I shook my head, I was just speaking all of my feelings, not caring to hide anything as I added, "Because I will always end up running back to him, and I can't keep doing that," He's got so much power over me, "I can't keep coming back and disturbing his life," Dad's eyebrows pulled closer and worry cut lines over his forehead as he read my expression.

I saw and understood the look in Chase's eyes as he told me that he loved me, that no one would come close to what I meant to him...I saw how he wished I never came back, that when I was away, he was happy, or at least comfortable, his life was stable, safe, and he had his control, just like he loves to.

I know myself, with every push, I will pull back. I will keep running in circles around him till I make him just as miserable as me. I will keep stripping that control away. I will keep him on edge and he would never get that peace ever again.

So yeah, I am running away maybe, but not for myself this time. Only for him.

I felt dad's arm pull me closer till he wrapped me up in his big warm embrace, hugging me and wishing to shield me from all this heartbreak, "I need you to think more carefully about this, it is gonna be a huge commitment," He said and I nodded, I know that, "Till then, when you make up your mind, you will have all of my support, because all I want for you little bug is to be happy, you know that."

I lifted my eyes to him and smiled, "I know," I said, my heat a big mess I am slowly learning to untangle, "What would I ever do without you," I said and he smiled before he left a kiss over my head.

I know I was sympathetic with Christian due to his position earlier but if he dares to just try and take my dad away from me, I will literally ruin him.

***************

Max's POV

"Mom," I called for her again, searching around the house and finally found her in the kitchen, going through one of the cabinets.

"Yes sweetie," She answered and I strode forward, "Did you see my medicine, I can't fi-," My eyebrows pulled closer when I came to a stop beside her, my hand rested over her arm, "Are you okay?" I asked in worry as I assessed her state, she looked so pale and she rubbed at her temples, wincing a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," She forced on a smile for my sake, "I just have a really terrible headache," She rampaged through the medicine box, "I've been in the sun all day long, it's probably from it."

I took an empty glass and filled it with water, "Hey, let me look," I gently urged her to step aside as I looked for some painkillers for her headache. I pulled two pills and handed them to her alongside the water, "Thanks baby," She said with an appreciative smile as she swallowed them down.

I noticed her hand shaking over the glass of water, I edged forward, my fingers wrapping over her arm, "Is it too bad?" I asked, the worry pressing over my chest, "Should I call for a doctor?"

She shook her head, "No, no, I will be fine," Her voice was low, her state scaring me, "I just, I think I just need to sit down," She mumbled and I nodded, helping her move forward and right when I was about to pull the chair closer, the sound of the water glass breaking as it hit the ground had me whipping my head toward her. It all happened so fast, my eyes widened as she lost her balance, her eyes closing and I immediately shot forward, my arm going behind her back, keeping her from crashing into the ground as I shot out, "Mom!"

Her head fell backward and the gravity of the situation pulled me down with her, I palmed her cheek, panicked as I tried to shake her back to me, "Mom, hey, hey, please wake up," I said, out of breath as my lungs failed to exhale and inhale the normal way.

Hurried footsteps came from behind me, I immediately turned around, seeking help from whoever was there till my eyes fell on...him, his eyes grew wide as he noticed her unconscious body and he stepped forward, coming closer to me, "What happened?"

I raised my arm, stopping him, "Get away from her!" I shot out and aunt Katherine dropped beside me, she had water in her hand and she gently rubbed it over mom's face, "Hey, cara," She said, softly, trying to get her to wake up, "She was tired all day," She mumbled in worry and my heart halted to a stop when she finally blinked her eyes open, slowly regaining back her consciousness.

I kept my arm around her back as I helped her sit down, "Hey mom, how are you feeling?" I asked, pulling the words out of my constricted throat as I removed her hair away and tucked it behind her ear.

Before she could answer me, another set of footsteps rushed closer, my eyes fell on dad as he came beside us, his arms immediately going toward her, "Cupcakes, what's wrong? What happened?" He asked in panic, his eyes taking her in and assessing her whole.

"Mom, are you okay?" Lilly asked, panicked as well and her eyes growing wide.

"Yes, yes, I am, don't you all get dramatic now," She said, half-smiling, addressing the matter so casually as If she didn't just pass out in my arms. She tried to stand up, I helped her and dad kept his arm around her, keeping her steady as she got to her feet.

"Are you sure?" I asked, whispering and she nodded, her hand coming to mine, squeezing in reassurance, "I think I just need to rest, that's all."

"I am calling a doctor now to-" Dad started to say.

"Already did," That man said and my jaw ticked, my fingers curling into a fist just at the sound of his voice. Dad nodded before he helped mom walk out, he kissed the top of her head, "When I tell you to rest, why don't you listen to me-" He started to say, reflecting his worry and she just leaned into him, "Alex, don't start-" She said with a tired sigh, their voices fading away as they walked up to their room.

Lilly followed them and Katherine walked out too, so again, I was left alone with him. Deciding to keep my anger in, I started to walk away, needing to make sure my mother is fine. But, I just couldn't hold myself back. I halted to a stop by the door, unable to contain it in and I whirled around, coming back to his side, "Can you leave?" I asked, my tone on edge.

His eyebrows pulled closer and before he could speak, I added, "Leave, just...just go back to wherever you came from," I grated out, "Leave because I can't take your presence anymore," The anger pushed forward, escaping through my words and tone, "I don't want to longer tolerate you or your kids-"

"My kids did nothing to you," He interrupted, defending, and I scoffed, "I know that, but if you thought this will end up with a happily ever after, then I am sorry to burst your bubble," I didn't care for the words leaving my mouth, I didn't care if I was disrespecting him, "If you expected me to welcome you in with open arms and consider them my brother and sister, then you're mistaken, because maybe everyone," My voice was getting louder, letting it all out, "Maybe everyone forgave you, but I will never ever forgive you."

"Max-" He started, trying to contain me and my rage but I wasn't done yet.

"If you thought giving me your kidney is gonna make me feel like I owe you then again, you are wrong, because I really wish I died instead of having something in me that binds me to you," I edged forward, "I don't want anything from you, I just want you gone," I grated through gritted teeth, pointing my finger at him, "You...you...raped my mother," A lone tear escaped just at the bitter thought only, the words scratching my throat, "And that's what you will always be to me," His eyelids glided down, his jaw clenching as I added, "A rapist, that's all you are."

Having enough, I turned around and headed out. It wasn't till I reached the door that froze dead in my spot, my eyes falling on Nathan standing there, right outside the door. His gaze flickered from the ground and fell on me, and in his dark blue eyes, I saw how his whole world was just flipped upside down as he heard every fucking word I said.

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Hey!

Hope you liked the chapter, I was planning to make it longer but I am going outside now, so instead of making you wait till tomorrow, I decided to just update.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, concerning everything happening. Whether it is Lilly, Chase, Max, Noah, Conner and his not-girlfriend Sally xD

Any expectations for laters ? ;)

Also, the chapter's question; do you like Aylin, or do you dislike her like everyone else does xD? And why?

Love y'all!

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