Mommy's day

Gia Amour Brewster

"How you feeling baby?" My grandmother asked sitting next to me on the couch.

"Some days are better then others." I told her shrugging my shoulders. The last two months has literally been hell. I was diagnosed with depression. And it's not like I could pop a fucking pill and feel better nope I just had to be pregnant. So my doctor suggested If I wanted to have a healthy pregnancy I needed to get a therapist to help me through my problems because the medication can cause harm to the baby. I must say the sessions do help but I damn near had to remove every little triggering factor in my life and that shit wasn't easy. To not be with my son literally sucks.

"Well you look good! I know you miss Essex." My grandmother mentioned and I just nodded my head. Not being with him is literally the toughest thing. Like I don't want him thinking mommy just up and left him when that isn't the case at all.

"Yea I miss him so much." I said feeling my eyes start to water. Being a cry baby is something I grown use to doing. My therapist says it's healthy for me to let the tears down and let's just say I cry for every little thing.

"He probably thinks I'm a bad mom or something. God knows what Booby be telling him." I said as my grandma sucked her teeth.

"Hush child, you speaking nonsense. You and I both know Booby is not like that. He literally thinks your cry baby ass is perfect." My grandma said causing me to laugh a little as I wiped my tears.

"GIGI COME DOWN HERE." I heard my mom yell causing me to roll my eyes. Being as today was Mother's Day she was having her annual Mother's Day brunch. I wouldn't mind the event but this wasn't something small and personal she invited every damn mother she knew and I just did not want to be around people.

"I don't want to go down there." I said as my grandma rolled her eyes, hush child let's go." My grandma said grabbing my arm helping me up. Looking down at my stomach I just frowned. I was huge. I was going on seven months and still in disbelief. Like I was really having another baby.

Walking down the stairs I saw a little figure hiding a bouquet of red roses and immediately the tears started to pour. "Happy Mother's Day mommy!" Essex's shouted running towards me as I immediately squatted down pulling him into a hug.

"I missed you so much." I cried while giving him kisses and he just laughed.

"Mommy why you cry?" He asked while wiping my face.

"Cause I'm happy your here! How you even get here?" I asked as he turned around and pointed at Dior.

"Mommy my swista is in there?" He asked pointing towards my stomach touching it.

"Sister? Who said sister?" I asked looking down at my stomach. I did not want no damn daughter, I want another boy.

"Daddy said it's a girl," he said causing me to shake my head. Booby wanted a girl when I got pregnant the first time.

"Well daddy's wrong." I said picking him up.

"You sure you should be doing that?" Dior asked taking him from me causing me to pull back and grill her.

"Yes I can hold my child." I spat as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Where's Booby?" I asked curious as she shrugged her shoulders.

"He didn't come with you guys?" I asked lowly as she shook her head.

"No, he didn't want to mess things up so he sent us and we come baring gifts." She said and right on que guys were walking into my mother living room with different designer bags and more flowers.

"Too miss Gia Shaidi, the best mom I ever met. My future wife. Thank you for being my friend, my lover, the mother of my children. I know we going through some tough shit but we soon over come this. None of this was planned or expected but you doing what you have to do for your sanity and I'm more then proud of you. I know you beating yourself up but you the best mom there is. Essex and baby girl gon be good forever as long as they got you. Enjoy ya gifts. Love Booby" i read the card that was placed in the long red stem rose bouquet.

Feeling the tears I just let them drop. This right here was overwhelming and the reason I'm going through the shit I'm going through. Yes it's sweet but he sitting here talking about his future wife like he doesn't have a whole girlfriend.

"What's wrong?" Dior asked as I shook my head. "You not going to open your gifts?" She asked as I shook my head no.

"I'll open it later." I said as she looked at me weird then nodded her head.

***************

"Hiii babyyyy." I cooed while rubbing Mia's stomach as she giggled. I still couldn't believe Easton and India were married with two daughters.

"I swear she does not smile when I do that! She's always mean mugging people." India said causing me to laugh.

"She don't like you." Easton chimed causing me and him to laugh while India sucked her teeth.

This was my first time actually being with the baby. When she had her I had to go back to Atlanta with Essex. Within seconds the baby started crying.

"Awe she probably need her diaper change, I'll do it." Easton said taking her out my hand and exiting out the  living room leaving just me and India.

"How have you been?" I asked now that the two of us were alone. My mom and her guest were all outside in the backyard.

"I'm good, really happy. I can't believe I got my man and we have two healthy beautiful daughters and my degree!" She said as I nodded my head. I was happy for India but I couldn't say I somewhat was jealous.

Jealous at the fact at how well put together her life is. And here I am not in school, no job, no man nothing. At this point I felt useless.

"How are you though? I heard about you and Baby." She said causing me to look up at her.

"Oh," i said as she just looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked causing me to shrug my shoulders.

"Dior, you know you could tell me anything right?" She asked as I nodded my head and felt the tears starting to come.

"It hurts. So bad." I said finally breaking down.

"I thought I was doing the right thing but I feel so lonely. I look at you, and Gia and you guys seem so happy with your kids. I have no one." I continued to cry.

The more days go by the more I regret getting an abortion.

"Stop D you have some many people in your corner." She said as I shook my head. I did have them but the hurt I was going through right now was just different.

"Why am I such a fuck up? I literally can't do anything right." I said as the tears just kept pouring down.

"You not no fuck up." I heard the familiar voice say causing me to look up and see Baby standing there.

"Let me talk to her real quick." He said as India nodded her head leaving us alone.

"What's wrong with you? Why you talking down on yourself like that?" He asked taking a seat next me to as I just continued to cry.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." I said as his face softened.

"I see why you was so mad. I hate myself for doing what I did. Now I have nobody." I cried as I felt him pull me into a hug.

"Chill, you shouldn't be apologizing to me. I should be telling you sorry. You shouldn't have went through that yaself. I should have supported your decision. I'm sorry mamas. I wish I could take back the shit I said to you. But I don't ever want to hear you talk like that. You not no fuck up." He said as I shook my head disagreeing.

"Everyone around me is doing something or has a purpose then there's me. My life is crazy." I said as he sucked his teeth.

"All them people you talking about all had they own battles they dealt with. Your time soon come mamas. and shit I could go out a baby in ya right now if you really want." He said causing me to laugh.

"Your so annoying." I said as he licked his lips. "There goes that pretty smile." He said while wiping ya tears. "You ugly when you cry." He said causing me to hit him.

"I'm playing. But forreal Dior. You can't be so hard on yourself. You still young and have time to decide what you want. When your ready for a baby you'll know." He said as I nodded my head.

It's crazy how much of a hold this man really have on me. Cause with him here it really feels as if all my worries are gone and I'm going to be alright.

"What you doing here?" I asked curious.

"Came and brought your mom, India and Gia mother days presents." He said as I nodded my head.

"I got you something too." He said causing me to look up at him.

"What, you my baby momma. Baby or no baby." He said moving the hair out my face.

"How you know I was here though?" I asked as he sucked his teeth. "You ain't gonna miss no Mother's Day. Ya ass a mommy girl to the fullest." He said causing me to roll my eyes.

"Thank you." I said looking at him as he grabbed my face closer to his kissing my lips.

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It's been a while I know and I'm sorryyy. But yea Mother's Day happened. My poor Gia sis really going through it. What ya think she having? And Baby and Dior so damn cute. Vote and comment.