Doubting Me

*NOT EDITED*

Tyler glanced at me and exhaled, "Listen we are on our way now. In the meantime, stop drinking whatever crap has made you lose your mind and try to think of a way to get Jace out of the cells. Don't do anything more stupid. See you soon."

Axel didn't say anything after that, and Tyler took it as a sign to end the call.

"Alright let's head to Blood Venom, since Victoria is tired, and she just got here, she can definitely stay here if she wants. She can choose to come with us Mase, but I think that given the situation, it is best if she stays here. Axel doesn't seem very fond of your relationship currently, so let's not do anything to provoke his stupid ass. Gwen, do you want to come with us or stay?" Tyler stated with an Alpha tone.

"I think I'll stay, I don't want to keep the kids alone, and I don't think it's a great idea for the kids to go all the way to Blood Venom during these times," she answered, "Should I pack you some snacks for the road?"

"No, sweetheart, we'll be okay," Tyler smiled and pecked his wife on the lips for a quick second, before glancing at me.

I was rooted in my spot, trying to understand everything that is happening. I didn't want to face Axel, but I knew that it had to be done. Maybe if we do this, and it ends with a rejection, I can get the closure I want. But, maybe he was saying the truth and he was never going to reject me in the first place, and we can figure out what to do about everything together.

"Come on, Cal, let's go. We should try to get there ASAP," Tyler grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the front door with Mason trailing closely behind. We got in the car and were in Blood Venom soon after.

When we got out of the car, a few guards surrounded us, thinking that we were intruders. I could see that they noticed me, but I tried not to look them in the eye, embarrassed about the events that had transpired about a week ago.

"Beta Mason, we are so glad that you are here. Alpha Axel has not been the same ever since the Trials and your leaving only made things worse. We have been waiting for your arrival. He should be in his office. Should we inform him that you are here?" one of the guards said.

"Thanks, Blake, and don't worry I already mind-liked him," Mason answered, as we walked past the guards deeper into Blood Venom territory. Following Mason like this gave me flashbacks of the first time I walked through the territory, not knowing that my mate was here.

I began walking past the two guards keeping my eyes on the ground, when I felt a hand clasp around my forearm. I quickly looked back at the guard who had gripped me.

"Luna Calista, we are happy you came back," he said to me.

I lost eye contact with him and said, "Thanks, but I am not your Luna," trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"Yes, you are. We all know that the Council played dirty. We are under your command with anything that you may need. Isn't that right, Dev?" Blake said addressing the other guard as well.

"Yes, Luna. You pledged loyalty to us last week, and we need you to know that you have our loyalty to you," guard number 2, whose name is Dev I'm assuming, answered, approaching me and shaking my hand.

"Thank you so much," I genuinely answered, not knowing how to react or what to say.

"Now go fix the mess our Alpha put himself in," the guard encouraged. I simply smiled and continued my path towards Axel's office.

The closer I got to the room, the faster my heart was beating. I don't think Axel knows that I am here, and surprising him is scaring me. As I looked around Axel's house, I saw that nothing had changed which means that Emily was still taking care of the house for Axel. However, the closer we got to Axel's office, the more pungent the smell of alcohol became. Even though the hallway was lit throughout, it seemed to get dimmer the closer I was to his office. I felt like I was being caged in with nowhere to go.

I faced the mahogany doors of his office, knowing that there is no going back now. Mason and Tyler looked at me, as if asking me if I am ready. I nodded my head and told them to go for it.

Mason opened the doors, not even bothering to knock, and went in, with Tyler following him closely behind. I could see the interior of his office, but couldn't get myself to walk in. So now, Mason and Tyler were shielding my body from Axel's view.

"Hello boys," I heard Axel's deep voice state, before I heard him sip on something than the glass clank on the desk.

"Axel," Mason responded, obviously still harboring some negativity due to Axel's actions earlier.

"You smell like her," Axel claimed. I couldn't see what was happening, because both Tyler and Mason's bodies were shielding me from Axel, but I heard the chair drag against the floor.

"I'm surprised you can smell anything other than the retched alcohol you've been downing," Mason jabbed at Axel.

"Don't fucking mess with me, Mason. Where is she? Why do you smell like her?" Axel approached Mason and he roughly grabbed Mason's collar, finally coming into my view.

I was surprised to see Axel like this. His hair was disheveled, his stubble had grown into a small beard, and he had obvious bags under his eyes. His skin no longer looked vibrant, and he only looked like a shell of a man that I once knew.

After seeing him like this, I sucked in a breath, which he heard and 3 pairs of eyes looked intensely at me, one pair in particular made me weak at the knees.

Axel let go of Mason and whispered, "Calli."

"Get out," he ordered. For a second, I thought he was talking to me, but then Mason and Tyler made their way past me and out of the office. Mason pushed me into Axel's office before shutting the door. Now, it was only him and me and a million problems weighing on us.

"Axel, I—" I started to say. However, he cut me off.

"You left me," he somberly stated, his eyes never leaving my face, studying every feature. I couldn't tell if he were trying to memorize my features in case I left again or if he were making sure that it was really me with him right now.

"You were going to reject me," I quipped back, no longer sure if this was the truth. He drew in a breath and shook his head. I watched as he frowned, his forehead creasing while trying his best to control himself as his eyes flashed gold.

"You don't know that. You just assumed what I would do. You judged me just like you have been doing since the moment you met me," his voice was rising, and I new that this was escalating into another fight. "Didn't I at least deserve the benefit of the doubt after everything?"

"You took too long to answer. You left me there feeling like trash at the fact that my own mate couldn't decide if he wanted me. What was I supposed to do?" I snapped at him.

"God! Just give me a break Calista! My entire life was being torn apart in that moment. It was either you or my Alpha position. I deserved a second to think. Why are you being so selfish about this? Why are you acting like you are the only one who has been affected by this?" he yelled back.

"Selfish? Me? I wasn't being selfish. I was taking care of myself, and there is a difference."

"Really, then why couldn't you just wait and give me time to decide what to do?"

"You had 25 fucking years to decide what you would have done in a situation like this. Your time had run out, Alpha."

"If you had only waited none of this would have happened. I would have given up the Alpha position in front of the whole pack. I would have told everyone that I loved you and wanted you. Wasn't marking you confirmation enough that I was in this for the long run?" he said.

"You're so full of shit. You really think I don't know the real reason you marked me? You didn't care that you left a mark on me. You just wanted me to shift so that I could be stronger for the Trials. You didn't even give me the chance to mark you back," I accused. Why am I making this situation worse? Why can't I control what I am saying?

"What the hell, Calista? You lost consciousness after I marked you. How was I supposed to have you mark me back? Why do you doubt me so much?"

I stayed silent after that, not knowing how to answer his questions. I doubted him because our relationship was so rocky from the start. I doubted him because I still don't know if he will be happy with me without his Alpha position. I doubt that he will not resent me years from now when his first-born doesn't have the Alpha title. But then I said, "Is this always going to be our fate? All we do is yell at each other. Why can't we work?"

"It doesn't have to be that way," he said as he reached out to hold my hands, then continued, "We can get out of here together and just be together. No Alpha position, no council, no pack members. Just you and me."