chapter 56

[ Aru's p.o.v ]       The cold floor didn't bother me so much nor did my father's constant checking on me asking me exactly how long my hairs are to take so long to wash nor the already cold water bothered me as much did the tears that won't stop. Everytime I convinced myself it were nothing, she was simply playing around and I was stupid to start feeling so selfish about her and that it were nothing; it all crashed again. It hurt.     I clutched the handle of the mug so tight that if it had edges by now it would have peirced my skin. Perhaps it should have, the physical pain might distract this suffocating feeling. I wanted to yell, I wanted to thrash around , I wanted to vent , cry it out, all those feelings that were suddenly unbearable. I don't even know how long they have existed, nor did they bother me so much before and suddenly they are out here killing me. I can't even name them, anger? Jealousy? Pain? It's just frustrating, way too frustrating not knowing what's wrong with you. Why would you be so hurt by someone's behaviour who has not even been a major part of your life. A few months stranger shouldn't be making me feel this vulnerable.     My thoughts trailed in all directions. It felt like a debate within myself. My own self accusing me of being stupid and falling prey for her pranks and overstepping my boundaries while accusing her for playing with my feelings which I didn't even know what were. I wanted her to get out of my life , I wanted her to push away but I wanted to run back to her and yell at her , cry in her embrace. What a stupid thought, cry in the arms of the one who hurt you? Worst , I wanted to appologise . What for?     A part of me urged me to wipe my face and get out of here act as if nothing happened, she didn't happen. And that won. I immediately got over with my showering and dressed up to my best trying to look normal and got out.     " You were in there for like centuries. What are you? Rapunzel?" , dad taunted as he hurried in. I didn't bother responding.     " Dinner is ready. Go call granny.", mom yelled from kitchen as she stepped out with plates. " Why would you wash your hairs at night? Do you want to fall sick?", she immediately set her work aside and despite scolding she grabbed a dry towel leading me to the bed as she stood there wiping them. " Now if you catch cold why would you. This girl-" , she kept mumbling but I didn't pay attention to her. I wasn't paying attention to anything. The feeling of being crushed from within had overtaken any other senses.     " What happened? Why are you crying?", Dad's voice broke my daze and I realised despite my attempt tears had slid down my cheeks making it obivious I cried.      " Did you say anything to her?" ,Dad asked mom who had just removed towel to get a look at me. " I only told you not to wash hairs at night. What's to cry in it?", she asked as she looked at me in confusion. I don't even know what to respond with. " Your tone is like spices. You better don't use it on my daughter."" Like you got a tongue of honey syrup."" Atleast I don't go about making people cry-"    They continued accusing each other and I was responsible for the fight. I felt worse about it and that only made me shed more tears. Am I just being a problem to everyone? Cause of fight between people? Didn't Vibha and that Abhijit have a fight because of me? Isn't it why they separated? Wasn't I being the third wheel there as well?     " Oh almighty have mercy on these old ears. What are you two upto ? Turning me deaf?" , granny stepped in covering her ears and both mom and dad stopped. Mom walked into the kitchen and dad straight out of the house.        She settled on the table and I immediately wiped my face with the towel. " What happened?" , she asked me as she looked around , her usual way before gossiping. I shook my head. " Not telling you ' best frienda ' ", ever since she leaned the word she had been stressing it every time to make me spill. " Nothing.", I blurted out in a chocked up voice.     Nobody stressed the matter. I just got over shoving down a few morsel of food . Mom was silent all the while and so was granny. I am sure granny would manage her once I leave and dad is getting a good lecture on how he should learn to shut up when he can't make things better.    I closed the door behind me as I laid on the bed. Involuntarily my hands reached for my phone opening her chat. I clicked on her dp, zoomed it. Exited the app and opened gallery. Clicked on our photos zoomed each one of them. What's wrong with me? Why would I even want to do anything with someone like her? The rage took over as I selected every last of them and deleted them. I went as far to delete them from thrash bin as well. How I wish I could just delete her as well from my life. I set the phone aside when it dinged. Vibha: I am sorry. Can we meet up tomorrow? Can we please talk it out? I am really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please Aru?Just once listen to me ? Please? You can be mad at me all you want but please first listen to me. Aru. Please.    The messages spammed as I read them through the notification bar and somehow they blurred again as I closed my eyes.    " Arushi.", dad's voice woke me up and I sat up straight. Almost scaring myself. He held me into a hug as he pulled out a chocolate. " See mom doesn't mean to get angry at you. She's just worried. You know how much we love you , we care for you. We want to protect you at all the cost. You are our only child our only happiness. We can't let anything happen to you right ? Mom wasn't scolding you she was just telling you . Don't take it to heart okay? Don't cry. You are my princess right?" , his soft tone somehow convinced me I was crying because mom scolded and I would like to beleive it. He pulled out a chocolate and handed me .  But pulled it back before I could hold it. " No, first give dad a smile?" I forced one. " A big one ."I tried. " A huge huge one. "I burst into a chuckle and he then handed the chocolate to me. " Now eat it, brush your teeth and go to sleep. If my princess is happy let me go make it upto my Queen.", he said laughing at his own words and I nodded.     Granny stepped in as he left and settled besides me. I expected her to ask me but she didn't. Instead she held her hand in front of me. I looked at her confused.    " My share ." , her tone of that annoying sibling who has his share in your everything. I broke it into half placing it in her hand  . The sweetness of the choclate somehow melted into pain. I don't know why it made me sad again.    " Give here. Not like I would eat it.", the way she would laugh at everything she found ' cute ' about me. She used to get me chocolates for no reason. The very first time she handed me one , I had actually considered it poisoned. The way she would keep annoying me amidst lectures. And the one time we bunked and went to terrace and -   Why would everything in the world remind me of her??   I just pulled the blanket and covered myself trying to hold back the tears that once again threatened to fall. " Ayy brush your teeth! Don't be a stubborn kid! Arushi! Sakhu!", granny kept up her lecture of importance of teeth while I tried to get this idiot out of my head.    Please leave me alone. Why can't she? Why won't she leave my thoughts? Why won't she leave me alone? Even her absence is as annoying as her being here. Why can't I just forget her?