Twenty-Six Fish

"Yuel."

Yuel jumped at the sudden call of his name, his heart racing with excitement. He had been having his tutoring sessions with Kyungwon for a few weeks now, but he still couldn't get used to the smooth and soothing way his teacher said his name. It was like feeling a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. And it definitely felt like summer right now with how much Yuel's face burned with embarrassment at being startled by the sound of his name. He lowered his head ever so slightly to hide his blush.

"Yuel?"

"Y-Yeah, Hyung?"

Being able to call Kyungwon "Hyung" instead of "Mr. Min" got Yuel's heart beating just a little faster. Kyungwon suggested it first after their first week of classes, saying he wanted them to be more like friends rather than teacher and student. But all Yuel took away from that was Kyungwon wanting them to be closer. And that was what he thought about every time he used the word hyung.

"Are you listening?" Kyungwon asked, tilting his head to try and see Yuel's face, to which the boy turned away.

"I am, Hyung..."

There was a pause before Kyungwon suggested, "Should we take a short break?"

"Okay..."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Um, yes, a glass of water would be great. Thank you."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

From the way the conversation went, one would assume this was Kyungwon's house. But Kyungwon actually left Yuel's study to fetch two glasses of water from Yuel's—well, his parents' kitchen. Now that the man had been here quite a few times, he had no trouble making himself at home. This made Yuel happy, knowing that Kyungwon felt comfortable being in the same space as him.

But if only Yuel could be at ease around Kyungwon, too...

While Kyungwon was gone, Yuel checked his reflection through his phone screen. He sighed in relief that his face didn't look as red as it felt. Yuel didn't understand why he was constantly on edge around Kyungwon. It wasn't so much that he was afraid of his teacher or anything. On the contrary, he was always looking forward to their next lesson. Nevertheless, Yuel couldn't help feeling nervous around Kyungwon all the time. His heart simply refused to calm down for some reason. This had never happened to him before with anyone else.

"Here's your water," Kyungwon said, passing Yuel one of the glasses in his hands before sitting back down in the chair next to him.

"Thank you."

While taking a long sip, Yuel snuck a quick peek at his teacher. But it didn't go unnoticed as Kyungwon stared back at him.

"What is it, Yuel?"

"Oh, uh..." Yuel thought about what to say next, but upon admiring Kyungwon's good looks, only one question came to mind. "Hyung, do you have a girlfriend?"

Kyungwon choked on the water he was drinking. "A-Ahem... What?"

Seeing how taken aback Kyungwon was, Yuel said, "Sorry, you don't have to answer that..."

"No, I mean..." Kyungwon paused for a moment in thought. "I don't."

"You don't?" Yuel replied, a small part of him feeling oddly relieved.

"Why are you so surprised?"

"Well, it's just that..." Quietly, Yuel said, "You're really good-looking, so I assumed..."

"Oh," Kyungwon responded with a soft chuckle. "You think I'm good-looking?"

Yuel nodded shyly, his heart pounding at the sweet sound of Kyungwon's laugh.

"Well, thank you for the compliment. But what about you?"

"M-Me...?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Yuel wondered why Kyungwon would ask him that. Why would he want to know if he had a girlfriend or not? Was it just out of curiosity? But why would his teacher be curious about that?

As all these questions popped up in Yuel's head, he murmured, "I don't..."

"Seriously? You must be popular with the girls at school though, right?"

Although Yuel would catch girls staring at him from time to time, he hardly considered himself all that popular. He had never even been asked out before. Actually, forget being asked out, he didn't have many people who talked to him in general since he mostly kept to himself at school. But he didn't want to admit this to Kyungwon, so he opted for a simple, "Not really..."

"What? I can't believe that. You're so handsome. You should thank your mom for giving you such good genes."

"I hear that all the time from other family members..." With an embarrassed look, Yuel added, "But they usually say I'm pretty like my mom, not handsome."

Kyungwon let out a hearty laugh. "You know, they're right."

"...You think I'm pretty, too?"

"Yes, I think you're very pretty, Yuel," Kyungwon responded without hesitation. "Like I said, thank your mom."

"Uh, right..."

How strange. It annoyed Yuel so much to be called pretty by his relatives given how he was a boy. But he wasn't the least bit offended now. If anything, he realized just how great it felt knowing that he appeared pretty in someone else's eyes.

. . .

"You're crazy, dude. Show me."

"I'm telling you, the scene is so hot."

"Holy shit. Wow..."

"What are you guys looking at?" Seong Hamin said, joining the group of boys at the back of the classroom huddled around a smartphone.

"Hey, Hamin. Do you want to watch, too?" asked the owner of the smartphone. He replayed the muted video from the beginning. "It's from this foreign R-rated movie that just came out. The sex scene is so fucking hot."

"Damn, her boobs are huge," Hamin said.

"Right? Her ass, too."

The boys went on to discuss the entire scene in graphic detail as if they weren't all watching it together. Yuel had no choice but to endure every word of it since they were standing right behind him. Hamin saw how still Yuel was sitting and figured he was eavesdropping.

"Are you curious too, Yuel?" Hamin said, tapping the boy's shoulder.

Startled from suddenly being acknowledged, Yuel jerked around in his chair. But before he could say no, a gasp escaped his lips as Hamin shoved the phone just inches away from his face. Just a second of seeing the naked man and woman tangled up in bed was enough to turn Yuel right back around in complete shock. He had never seen something so provocative in his life, and his brain had no clue how to process it or if it even wanted to.

The girl sitting next to Yuel caught a glimpse as well and grimaced. "Are you guys seriously watching porn at school? You're disgusting."

The smartphone owner scoffed. "I get that a chick like you would be appalled, but why are you freaking out so much, Yuel?"

"Maybe he's gay," another boy said, snickering.

"Honestly, he looks gay with a face like that."

Laughing, Hamin was about to make a snarky comment too, when Euiheon entered the classroom from the back door.

Frowning at Hamin, Euiheon said, "Guys, sit down. The teacher's coming for afternoon homeroom."

Catching the disappointment on Euiheon's face, Hamin was glad he didn't actually say anything insensitive to Yuel. He had a habit of getting swept up in the thoughtless, sometimes nasty, jokes that his friends made and blurting out things he didn't necessarily mean. Euiheon knew that and often told him how uncool it was, and Euiheon was the one friend Hamin didn't want to appear uncool to since they had spent practically their whole lives together.

Tapping Yuel's shoulder once more, Hamin said, "Hey, sorry about that, man."

"......"

The teacher kept afternoon homeroom short and dismissed the class for the day. The students spilled out of the classroom and headed home. Yuel rushed out before the boys could potentially continue their earlier conversation about him. He didn't want to hear any more of their nonsense. He had another reason to hurry, anyway.

"Hyung!" Yuel happily called out.

Kyungwon waved to him from the front gate. He had recently started picking Yuel up on Mondays and Wednesdays so they could grab something to eat before going home. After a couple of months of their biweekly tutoring sessions, the two of them had grown just as close as real brothers.

When Yuel met up with him, Kyungwon looked at his face and asked, "Are you okay? You're looking kind of pale."

"O-Oh, am I?" It seemed the entire ordeal at his classroom had shocked Yuel more than he thought. Not wanting to be reminded of it, he quickly explained, "Maybe it's because I'm cold."

To that response, Kyungwon immediately brought his hands to Yuel's cheeks. "Jeez, your pretty face is going to freeze at this rate. You should've worn a jacket over your school blazer. It's practically winter now."

"Y-Yeah..."

Although Yuel had never held Kyungwon's hand before, he always assumed it would be just as warm as his smile. But as it turned out, it was even warmer than that to the point of feeling hot. Or perhaps that was just the blush burning into his cheeks from being called pretty just now. Honestly, Yuel couldn't tell.

"Let's go for some soup today since it's cold," Kyungwon suggested.

"Okay."

The two of them walked side by side to their usual soup place. While it was only a few minutes away, it felt oddly farther to Kyungwon today. Perhaps it was because seeing Yuel shivering next to him was weighing on his mind, especially given how he was in a thick fall coat.

"Hang on a second, Yuel."

"What—"

Kyungwon grabbed Yuel's hand and stuffed it into the deep pocket of his coat. When Yuel instinctively tried to pull away, Kyungwon held on to him even tighter.

"W-What are you doing, Hyung?"

"Your hand's freezing."

"I-I'm fine... Isn't it uncomfortable walking like this?"

"I don't mind. And even if it was uncomfortable, keeping you warm is more important."

Yuel didn't dare to move his hand or even squeeze Kyungwon's in the slightest. He just kept it there to be completely embraced in the man's warmth. It made him forget about how cold the rest of his body was. He almost wished they could stay out in this chilly weather for a long while if it meant he could keep holding Kyungwon's hand.

But that got Yuel thinking. Why did he want to hold Kyungwon's hand in the first place? Guys didn't typically hold hands. And it was even stranger for a teacher and student to do so, no matter how close they were. Nothing about this made sense...

Until a single statement made it make sense.

"Maybe he's gay."

It was as if all the puzzle pieces in Yuel's head perfectly fell into place. Everything suddenly got explained. The reason he felt nervous to be around Kyungwon, the reason he still wanted to be with him regardless, the reason he wanted to hold his hand...

Yuel didn't get why the idea had never occurred to him when it was this obvious—when it felt this right. He liked Kyungwon. And it wasn't just as a teacher or a hyung, either. He had a genuine crush on him.

Realizing this completely changed Yuel's world. He peeked up at the man by his side who appeared just a little more attractive. Their clasped hands felt just a tiny bit warmer. And Yuel's heart raced ever so slightly more with excitement.

Even though nothing had changed on the outside, everything felt amazing on the inside. This could have very well been the happiest moment of Yuel's life thus far, even happier than the first time Kyungwon called his name or told him he was pretty.

If only this blissful moment could have lasted a bit longer, though. Yuel didn't know it at the time, but there was already a great fear taking root deep within his heart for the troubles that would come with loving someone he could never have.