42

Gary's mom slipped Winston a box of cookies before they left for school this morning, the smell enticing even boxed away. On the bus, Winston makes extra sure to keep his bag in his lap so that nothing can damage the cookies and he stares forlornly at the broken strap for long minutes. He doesn't understand why he still uses this bag; he has the money to replace it. His parents—the insurance payout hasn't gone dry yet.

Gary nudges him when it's their stop, and they disembark among a whole throng of students. For a moment it's entirely impossible to know who's where, and Winston thinks for a second that Gary has been lost to him forever. But the rush of students fade as he stands still, and Gary magically reappears at his side.

"Shit," Gary eloquently puts it.

Winston nods. He glances around, tries not to feel like everyone can tell he's smuggling cookies into the college library, and hunches over a little as he starts to walk with short but quick steps. Gary is left behind for a second, then jolts into action and catches up, entangling their arms to keep Winston's pace under control.

"Hey," Gary asks, "You good?"

"I'm fine."

Winston doesn't look at Gary's face—he can already imagine the doubtful expression he's undoubtedly wearing. No need to expose himself to that, he wouldn't survive it.

"I'm fine," Winston nevertheless feels the need to repeat a few seconds later, when they're crossing a green lawn covered by frost yet no snow. Winston is starting to feel cheated; while it's snowed a few times, it's never had time to properly build up. The frost is pretty, but Winston would really like to have a white Christmas wonderland.

Gary huffs. "You stole the cookies ma made, didn't you?" he effortlessly switches the subject.

Winston looks at Gary with a horrified expression, mouth open and eyes wide. "Wha—No! Why would you think that?" And he can't help but droop slightly, speed slowing as he looks at the ground, grip clenching on the broken bag-strap.

"Liam said so."

Winston's head snapped up and he stared at Gary. Then his eyes narrowed and he tore his arm free only to use that hand to hit—gently—Gary's shoulder while Gary burst out laughing. "You asshole." Winston shakes his head and kicks Gary's foot when this doesn't make Gary stop laughing.

Gary, amidst his snickers, says, "I was right beside you when mom gave you the cookies." He gives Winston a soulful stare and says, with an utterly betrayed expression, "I can't believe you fell for that."

"Fucke—" Winston snaps his mouth shut and instead jumps on Gary, who yelps loudly beneath his sudden weight and tips right onto his back on the ground. Crushed under Winston, all Gary can do is wheeze and hit the ground in the universal signal for I give up until Winston deigns to remove himself and sits down beside him. Gary stares up at the sky in a daze for a minute, then finally puffs his cheeks up like chipmunk and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Dick," Gary accuses Winston. And then he goes on, "Jerk. Asswipe. Insoncisrate jerface."

Winston laughs. "You started it," he points out, grinning.

Gary rolls his eyes. "The wise is the one who ends it," he says, mimicking the tone of his philosophy professor. Winston snorts, hiding his mouth behind his knees. Finally, after much staring, Gary sighs and says. "Fine. I suppose it was fair. So I will forgive. Just this one."

"Thank you for your generosity," says Winston. He rests his head on his knees and look at Gary, who is gazing up at the blue sky devoid of a single cloud. When Gary exhales, smoke drifts on his breaths. His jacket has the logo from the superhero Wilderman on the chest and is zipped all the way to his chin.

Winston doesn't move. After a while, Gary turns his head and watches Samantha's progress across the quad. Winston follows his gaze, tilting his head as he tries to imagine what Gary is seeing, thinking, feeling. Samantha's long red hair is pulled into a high tail at the top of her head, falling down her back. She's got her cheerleader uniform on, with her jacket hanging open on top. She's walking hand-in-hand with someone Winston doesn't recognize.

All Winston can really see from this distance is that Samantha's friend is dressed all in black, and is making big gestures with their free hand. Samantha is looking at them, not noticing that they're attracting attention, least of all from Gary and Winston.

"That's Samantha's gothfriend," says Gary from the ground.

Winston hums. He tilts his head, squints, try to get a better look. But they're too far away and Winston's eye-sight isn't that good. "Goth..." he muses. That makes sense with that level of pitch black clothing and what he thinks might be silver chains hanging off their pants. He hums some more, eyebrows furrowing as he thinks through the words. Something caught in his brain, and it takes him a second to realize Gary said that as one word, not two.

"Oh, like a boyfriend or girlfriend? That kind of gothfriend?"

"Yeah," says Gary morosely.

"Huh."

They continue to watch in silence as Samantha and her gothfriend gets more and more into the conversation, things visibly escalating. Samantha's gesturing grows as large as the gothfriend's and eventually they tear their hands apart and the gothfriend storms off with heavy steps and a furious expression as they pass them. Winston hurriedly looks away when they get close, pursing his lips like he's going to whistle but all he manages to do is blow hot air.

Gary and he watch Samantha for another second, but she storms off into the nearest building and then they just kind of look at each other. There's nothing to say, and eventually they get up as well and head onward.

He spots Jason as soon as he turns the corner, Winston's heart stuttering and his breath whooshing out of him. Gary, following tightly on his heels, walk right into his back and jolt him out of his reverie. Gary, spotting what's cautght Winston's attention, snort into his back and whispers, "I'll go roam the halls like a ghost," and heads off before Winston can say anything in return.

Forcibly relaxing his shoulders, Winston exhales. He ensures he's got a grip on his book-bag and strolls over, observing every inch of Jason he can see. When Jason, who's been scrolling something on his phone, spots Winston approaching, the man lights up. His face transforms when he smiles like that, going from cold and busy to open and inviting. Winston swallows a heavy gulp, but saddles up next to Jason by his locker.

Winston grins, soft, finding it impossible not to smile when Jason is looking at him like that. "Morning practice is over?" he asks, looking briefly at Clyde lingering by Jason's other side.

Clyde leans forward to be visible around Jason's large frame and waves at him. Winston waves back, refocusing his gaze on Jason when he's done only to find that Jason is staring at him with just... the look is soft it can not be described. Winston has no words for it, and can not even attempt to work out what Jason is thinking at the moment.

"Yeah," Jason breathes, shaking his head a little and sorting out his expression. He tilts his head, "Are you wearing mascara?"

Winston ducks his head. He look st Clyde again, finds him to be the safer option here. "Liam—Gary's btoher—dared me."

Jason stares at him, waiting a beat too long to speak. "You look—" Jason finally squeezes out, pausing and clearing his throat. "Good. You look really good."

"Thanks."

But Jason keeps staring at him, doesn't appear able to look away from Winston, or say something more complicated, and Winston's breath is too full for his chest, his heart too big to fit inside him, and he just—is so fucking in love it's ridiculous.

"You're—really fucking handsome," says Winston, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He doesn't know if he's ever said them before, can't remember small things like that, but he thinks he must have. He must have said it a thousand times, and yet Jason's face explodes into a blush so fierce Winston is for a moment concerned for his health.

They probably deserve Clyde laughing at them.