45

Winston rests on Jason, a controller in his hands and eyes squinting at the TV screen, eyebrows furrowed. His fingers furiously move his game character but it seems like everything he does is a step too late. Gary, next to him, cackles loudly, kicking his legs like he's on a swing and not the couch, grinning wide every time Winston glances ta him. The more furiously Winston tries, the louder Gary's laughter gets, until he sounds not unlike a wicked witch in a kid's movie.

Jason is doing homework, but he's looking up every once in a while, snorting when he notices how badly Winston is losing. Only karma, probably, from how smug Winston is every time he wins against Jason.

Winston's character dies, and Gary whoops, raising his arms over his head and laughing like a maniac. Dropping the controller on the coffee table, Winston exhales through his nose, nostrils flaring. Gary nudges his shoulder and gives another—this time a mini-version—whoop.

"Congrats," says Winston dryly, patting Gary's shoulder. "Now you get to be the one to tell Liam you broke his lucky pen."

"Oh fuck," breathes Gary, eyes wide. He slumps against Winston, jolting him and pushing him even further into Jason—but Jason not even flinching at the additional weight. Winston pats Gary's shoulder again, but his expression when he looks at Gary is one of profound smugness. Jason snorts above him, but when Winston peeks at him Jason is expressionless.

"Why did you have to remind me..." Gary whines, hanging his head and pouting. It's unfairly adorable and despite himself Winston's heart still goes out to him.

Winston pats his head. "I'm sure it's going to be fine. You bought a new one, right?"

"I bought like ten new pens; I wasn't sure if he'd want an identical one or not, so I just bought a bunch of different options." Gary's still hanging his head, fingers fiddling with the end of his shirt, and his shoulder are slumped. He seems genuinely distraught, and Winston's patting motions become less condescending and more comforting. He frowns, sitting up a little and Jason reacts to his movement, pushing his back to bolster him up.

But Gary burrows into Winston's touch, shoving Winston right back against Jason, and in response Jason's arm curls over his shoulder, pulling him into his chest and embracing him, Gary getting pulled along for the ride. It's warm and he's surrounded on all sides, and Winston's mind blanks for a second on what he's supposed to do. It's strange; Gary and Jason are his favorite people in the whole world.

"It's going to be fine," Winston tells Gary.

Gary shakes his head against Winston's chest. "You know Liam. He'll sulk around the apartment like I've ruined his whole life, and glare at me every time I try to get close, and he'll defintely not want to hang with me anymore."

"He hangs with you now?"

"You—" Gary bites his lip; Winston can feel it even if he can't see. He rubs his hand over Gary's back and Gary sigh into him, burrowing deeper. It pushes Winston further against Jason, but Jason still doesn't flinch, carrying both their weights without seemingly a single issue. It allows Winston to focus on Gary, trying to find something to say that won't make this worse.

He doesn't... really know. How to comfort people. It's not something he's ever done, before Gary. His parents—nobody ever really properly sat down and comforted him when he needed it. Like in the movies, when the main character gets a hug from their friend, and they cry and it's all very emotional and yet they come out of it feeling better than before. Winston never... had that.

Before Gary.

Gary sniffles into his chest, and Winston curls his arms tight around Gary. He frowns, gazing down at his friend, and the tightness in his chest has to be an unrelated issue, he thinks.

He doesn't know how to provide comfort.

"It's going to be fine," Winston says, breaking apart the silence over his own mind. Jason's roommate isn't here today, it's just them, and yet the room feels like it's utterly full of eyes watching. Empty, yawning, an open maw held above them ready to bite down at the slightest misstep. Licking his lips, Winston presses his nose to Gary's hair and repeats. "It'll be fine. You know how Liam is. He's just being dramatic."

"No, he really needs that pen," croaks Gary, sniffling. "He got it from our dad, and he uses it on every test in school. He needs it to do well, he thinks, and if he doesn't have it he's going to panic and fail even if he can technically pass on his own. It's like a safety blanket, or something." A pause, then, "He's going to hate me."

Winston can't figure out the right response to that, so he merely hugs Gary tighter and holds on.

Eventually, Gary's getting squeezed so tightly it's dangerous and he pats Winston's hip. Winston loosens his grip and Gary inhales deeply, body shuddering. He moves, sliding down Winston a little, until he's got his head in Winston's lap. Winston's breath catches, but he reaches down instantly, dragging his fingers through Gary's read hair and massaging the scalp.

Gary shuts his eyes, curled up. Winston forces his breathing to remain steady, even as his eyebrows stay furrowed and mouth twisted cruelly.

Minutes pass. Nobody says a word, and Winston continues to pet Gary until Gary's breathing evens out and he's no longer grimacing as much. Even then, he leaves a hand on Gary's head, fingers entangled in his soft hair. Resting his own head on Jason's shoulder, Winston breathes in strength from his presence, allowing himself the weakness of needing someone else to regulate his emotions.

...But Gary is relying him right now and that doesn't seem like weakness.

Because Gary is—Gary is bright, and big, and he exudes confidence and strength. He's not like Winston; doesn't fold himself down to make room for others, doesn't bend in fear of breaking, doesn't lie awake at night staring at a pitch black room. He's not like Winston, and yet he still lies on his lap, eyes red and slightly swollen, biting his lip until it's bruised because he's worried about his brother. About what he did to his brother.

Gary is a good person, Winston thinks.

He already knew that, of course, but somehow it's a revelation all the same. Gary is a good person, and he cares for his family, for his friends, for Winston.

"Are there... pen-fixing places?" Winston asks quietly.

Gary shrugs. "Dunno. It's a normal pen, nothing fancy. So I don't think so."

Winston hums. He draws patterns on Gary's scalp, feels Gary pressing into it, and he flicks a glance at Jason. Jason, when he notices Winston looking, smiles at him. Leans forward and nudges their foreheads together, and for a second they're breathing the same air. They don't do anything else, but when they separate their heads again Winston still feels re-settled in his bones.

He looks to Gary again. "Wanna play another round?" he whispers, unwilling to be too loud and shatter the atmosphere.

Gary opens one eye and peeks up at him. "Sure," he says, subdued. "But I'm not moving, this is comfy," he puffs up his cheeks.

Winston exhales on a laugh. "That's fine," he says, flicking his gaze back to Jason and tilting his head.

Jason grins smugly. "I'm strong. You guys don't weigh a thing," and he even flexes his muscles beneath Winston, shaking Winston's whole body for a second. Jason raises a challenging eyebrow then, and Winston is forced to admit defeat. He shakes his head, snorting, and settles back against Jason with Gary still in his lap. Luckily, Gary can reach the controllers; Winston can't much move like this.

Staying exactly like that, they start another game.