CH 23

Yu Cheng lost contact with his family and spent more time sitting in front of Qin He’s grave, sitting for a whole day at a time.

“Here, for you.” Qin Wanqing found two letters while sorting out Qin He’s belongings.

The letter addressed to her was very brief, with nothing much to say.

The words “I hate you” caught her eye, as if it were Qin He’s insignificant act of revenge.

“You don’t have to worry about me, your son, anymore. Let go of yourself. Please pass the other letter to Yu Cheng. Even without him, I would still fall for another man.”

He didn’t write much about Qin Wanqing in the letter but focused more on mentioning another person, the person whom he couldn’t let go of even after death.

She handed the letter to Yu Cheng and left. Her silhouette was somewhat hunched, having lost two beloved ones within less than half a year. Illness surrounded her, and perhaps her time was running out…

Only now did she realise how terribly wrong she had been. People often only regret when they have lost something but unfortunately, it was too late. Not everything can be salvaged—at least not death.

Qin He had excellent handwriting, as if his exam answers had been used as templates.

But just writing the two words “Yu Cheng” seemed to have exhausted all his strength, as it could be seen that he was trying hard to control himself, and the words were slightly crooked.

“Yu Cheng, I’m sorry for that day. I just couldn’t control myself. I’m not resisting you; please believe me. I love you, but everything has become deeply ingrained in my bones. They are pulling me apart, trying to tear me to pieces.

I have no other choice; I can only choose this extreme way. I am free now, and I can love you without reservation. I am happy, and you should be happy for me, right?

We are not at fault, and you don’t need to listen to their nonsense. You don’t have to feel guilty for my death or bear all of this. You are a smart person; just like when we first met, I only know you, Yu Cheng. You should be proud of yourself, and you will have remarkable achievements in the future.

So forget about me in the vibrant spring, in the scorching summer, in the golden autumn, and in the snowy winter. You should go and find your own goals. I shouldn’t be your entire expectation and future. Remember to be gentle and smile more. I wish you peace and smoothness, little hedgehog.”

“Fuck it, what future? You didn’t even return my birthday gift to Qin He! You forgot; even if I have to go to the underworld, I will find you; you owe me!” Yu Cheng crumpled the letter paper; the ink was blurred by tears. “Who do you think you are to be so relieved, leaving me alone?”

“I can’t learn, Qin He; can you teach me? Aren’t you my teacher?” I can’t learn how to handle things; I’m really dumb, so come and teach me quickly. It hurts. It turns out breathing can really hurt.

He suddenly saw that person smiling at him as usual, mocking him, “Why are you so dumb, Yu Cheng? No one would want someone like you.”

Yu Cheng didn’t dare to move at all, afraid that he would disappear if he moved. “Do you want me or not? I’m so dumb; no one wants me. Do you want me?”

Qin He seemed to want to ruffle his head, but before he could touch him, he disappeared.

Yu Cheng stood up and looked around, tears still on his face. “You don’t want me anymore.”

Yu Cheng continued to live in a daze like this, his eyes bruised, without resting for a long time.

Like this, Yu Cheng continues to live aimlessly, his eyes swollen and purple, having not rested for a long time.

He faints on the road like a homeless man and is taken to the hospital. When Lin Ying rushes over, Yu Cheng is just waking up, muttering Qin He’s name and asking him not to leave him.

Lin Ying wipes away her tears and stays by Yu Cheng’s side. She actually likes Qin He, but why are they in such a complicated relationship…

All that meets the eye is white; dreams are shattered; everything is just illusion. Yu Cheng has been living in such dreams, enjoying the warmth of Qin He in his dreams and then witnessing its destruction. He awakens to the fact that they can never meet again, and the past expectations become a ridiculous joke, everything has already fallen apart.

“Let’s go home, okay? Forget about him, Yu Cheng; he’s already dead.” Yu Cheng avoids people who stare at him all day long, cutting off contact with his family. “You know, you can’t hide forever; your father will find you sooner or later; he just hasn’t made a move for now.”

From a certain perspective, isn’t he very much like Qin He?

He still couldn’t escape from Yu Yao’s grasp. Tears slid down his cheeks when he heard them say that Qin He was dead. Why did everyone have to remind him that Qin He was gone?

Everyone else wanted to move forward and forget Qin He, but he couldn’t. Qin He was his lover. He was the one Yu Cheng had chosen, and forgetting was the most terrifying thing.

In the end, Yu Cheng returned to the Yu family, but he seemed like a different person. His soul had been drained, leaving only an empty shell walking around. Or perhaps his soul had already left with another person.

He emptied his wardrobe of colourful clothes and replaced them with plain ones. He grew out his hair and took meticulous care of it, making it soft and fluffy. He started to become silent and reserved. Even his perfume changed to a light scent that Qin He might like. He became another Qin He. Lin Ying saw it all, and the exuberant and unruly youth could never come back.

With Qin He’s death, Yu Yao no longer watched over him. He went back to school in Yao’an City and visited Qin Wanqing every now and then.

Although he detested the woman who had caused Qin He’s death, he knew that perhaps Qin He still couldn’t let go of her, and he was always soft-hearted in this way. He appeared cold, but he was truly the kindest and most gentle person. He couldn’t bear to use up all his energy to hate someone.

Qin Wanqing fell ill, but she no longer wanted to see anyone following the passing of her loved ones. It seemed like there were no more expectations in her remaining life, and she couldn’t even make it through the Lunar New Year before departing from this world. Yu Cheng took charge of the funeral, keeping it simple. It was held in a cemetery not too far from, yet not too close to Qin He.

When Yu Cheng was moving out, he discovered Qin He’s belongings, most of which were related to him, carefully collected. Among them were photos of the two of them, but mostly of Yu Cheng alone. Each photo had annotations written on the back, saying things like, “He looks so handsome playing basketball, he’s so bad at doing math; he’s so silly, haha!”

There was also a piece of candy wrapper, which Yu Cheng had given Qin He to console him when his grandmother passed away. And a medicine spray bottle. The flowers Yu Cheng had given eventually withered, and he had plucked a few petals and put them in a bag. There was also a broken phone and various other things that Yu Cheng had given him.

“I can only come this far; I miss you too much. I’m going to find you. I know a lot of strange things, and I can tell you about them. Those photos don’t tell the whole story; you have to understand me.” Yu Cheng looked at the last photo and burned it. “You’re wearing the bracelet I gave you; don’t think about running away; you can’t escape. It will probably be cold on the way; you have to come and pick me up, you know.”

The last leaf fell from the tree, and the young man in a dark coat stood up, looking at the photos in front of him. He had been looking at this particular photo for four years.

He wanted to see a different expression…

The warm sunlight shone on his body, and the young man swallowed a pill, entering a deep sleep. Perhaps he knew he was about to meet the person he had been longing for day and night, as a smile played on his lips.

His hand slipped to the side, and a clear ringing sound echoed…

Qin He, you know, I won’t let go of what I have set my heart on. You promised me that you would accompany me, so you have to fulfil that promise.

– End of story –

Xian Nan Zhi

End of the story. Thank you to all the readers who have reached this point. Bowing and tossing flowers. You can still discuss and provide any feedback in the comments section, and I will read them. There will be minor adjustments to the story in the future.

There will be extras.

Rue: The story was really beautiful! My heart aching for them… Hope y’all enjoy reading it. Please support the author!