Chapter 42.

Chapter 42

I wake up curled among the duvet i look to my right and all I find is a empty spot , I let out a deep sigh and turn back over ; noticing a pink sticky note on a glass of water. 'Gone to get the kids be back soon , sorry for being a dick - C ' it reads. I can't even think at the moment because although things got bad between us last night it was still my fault for bailing on him after the effort he went through.

On the other hand he had no right to get wasted and shout at me like that , I need to talk to him about it all more importantly about the thing he was hiding from me.

I decide to make myself useful and begin cleaning up the kitchen from last nights mess and go over what im going to say to Calum when he gets home. Do I stay cool and talk to him later on or do I dive right in and find out what the hell is going on. When the door open and shuts again my mind is jumbled and as soon as he steps foot into the kitchen the words come tumbling out.

'What did you mean last night?' , Calum looks at me for a moment then walks out the room again so I follow him.

'Calum what are you ignoring me now?' I say

'Rebecca let me put the kids in the living room and a cartoon on and then we can talk okay.' he says , I take a deep breath and follow him into the living room. I rush over to the twins giving them both a kiss and cuddle as a 'welcome home' gesture.

'Hi cuties I hope you have been behaving for Auntie Sophia and Uncle Mike.' I say , Rosalie lets out a smile while James looks around the room.

'They slept through the whole night Michael said , and Kimberly loved Rosalie.'' Calum says reminding me he is here. I look back around at him as he holds out his hand to help me up , I take it and we make our way out towards the kitchen.

'So are we going to talk about last night then?' I say sitting down at one end of the table while he stands resting his back against the kitchen worktop.

'Sitting up the table seems so serious...' he mumbles

'This is serious Calum.' I roll my eyes and look down beginning to pick at the nail vanish on my fingertips.

'It doesn't matter I was drunk okay?'

'Calum is does matter because you were so upset.'

'Maybe that was because you didn't sh-'

'Don't turn this on me now Calum you know that was not the reason you was crying there is a bigger issue here , something you are hiding from me. I can't deal with secrets anymore we need to be honest with eachother.'

'Stop pushing then. You're making a bigger issue out of it I would tell you if it was serious , It is nothing so just leave it okay?!' He said.

His voice raised , arms crossed , eyebrows scunched together. I knew I had pissed him off but I'm sick of secrets , Secrets it what broke us up last time he needs to be honest with me or I don't know if I can deal with this anymore. He makes his way out the room but I stand up blocking him from the doorway.

'What are you doing Rebecca?' he sighs.

'You're not leaving until you tell me.' I say stubbornly this was a fight I was not going to give up on.

'Rebecca I could so easily move you right now.' he smirks.

'Calum shut up and just tell me.'

'Its nothing Becky stop worrying.' he mumbles

'Look at me Calum.' I say as his eyes are darted to the floor like his feet have suddenly become important.

'JUST LOOK AT ME.' I yell and his head snaps up , his eyes fixed to mine. He looks fragile , scared and broken. I do not know what is going on with him but I can sense he is not okay.

'Tell me please.' I whisper softly letting my left hand trail his  left cheek where he leans into it , closing his eyes and giving off a deep sigh.

'I'm sorry that I was such a dissapointment to you.'' he lets out , I furrow my eyebrows and search for his eyes as he opens them. When he looks at me his eyes are glossy and I find it hard to see him this way.

'What are you on about Calum?'

'I left you when you needed me most. I broke our wedding vows. I left you for someone I didn't even love when I knew my heart belonged to you. I left you to be broken when you were pregnant and left again as soon as you had the kids. I could make up a thousand excuses saying I wasnt ready for kids or that I didnt want commitment  but I d-dont know why I did all those things, I was frightened and scared of the thought that I had such a good life. It didn't feel real and I didnt feel like I deserved it. When I thought I lost you and the kids it drove me crazy I didn't understand what was wrong with me I took it out on all the people I loved because I was terrified of what I could and what I had become...'he took a pause

'Cal-'

'- The worst part is that I got you and the kids back...I'm scared that if i let myself be happy for even a moment that the worlds just going to come crashing down. I don;t know if i can survive that again.' I wait for a moment to see if he is finished and he nods as if he had read my mind.

'Calum. I forgive you okay. You saved my life tha-'

'Thats the thing Rebecca , the constant reminder of you being hurt by that asshole , Its all my fault if I didnt do any of that , If I had been a loyal husband to you nothing like that would of happened.'

'Calum! Listen to me... I'm the one who chose to befriend Logan okay , Yes without you doing that I probably wouldn't of gotten into the mess that far but It is still partly my fault for trusting him. Yes we both messed up but at the end of the day Calum. I still love you and I always will , I spent time and time trying to get over you. I said to you that he was there when you wasn't which was true but I never felt anything for him the way I felt for you. People will say I'm crazy for getting back with you after everything but they do not understand the unconditional love I have for you. Everything may feel like its falling apart but together we can fix what we broke ; we just need to forgive , forget and move on. The only way we can do that is if we're totally honest with each other no more secrets or lies. Okay?' I say wiping the tears that have stained Calums cheeks. He nods slowly and I pull him into a long hug.

'I love you Calum Hood.' I whisper , He steps closer, wrapping his arm around my waist to push me against him, closing the distance between both of us. He crashed his lips against mine, making the confusion growing in my body.

I know I should push him away.

I know I should rather try to discuss things with him.

But here I was, letting myself pick up from the ground and him carrying me to our bedroom and him throwing me onto the bed. He removed all of his clothing and mine, not even letting me the time to drink in his stunning body.

He leaned in to give my lips a long lingering kiss before ripping open the condom , he pushed my legs against my stomach to give him some space to position himself in front of my entrance; he didn't waste any time and pushed himself all the way in, filling me in a matter of seconds. I gasped, arching my back at this sudden move. Calum dug his fingers in my flesh, obviously regretting this himself.

"tell...me... again" he hissed, giving both of us a minute before he started rolling his hips slowly.

I had to think for a moment for what he wanted me to tell him then I had realized and let out a shaky breath 'I L-love you Calum.'

He steadied himself before increasing his pace; arms at each side of my head. My hands were moving on their own, moving up and clung on his back as he rocked his hips against mine; hard thrusts making me moan audibly.

His eyes were focused on me the entire time, watching my face carefully even though he was drowning in pleasure. But he wasn't the only one. The only reason I forced my eyes open were to see that vulnerably state of his, seeing how much pleasure he was experiencing right know with me. And just in time, my whole lower body started to tingle, the moans and growling of both of us with him deepening himself at every thrusts pushing me to the edge.

"Calum, I-I'm,"

"Me too..." he blurted out, letting his head fall back as he increased his pace. I dug my nails in his skin as I couldn't hold in anymore,

"Calum!" my eyes were squeezed shut when my vision went white, pleasure washing over me, making me arch my back, pressing my chest against his.

"Shit, Rebeccca!" right in the middle of my high he came, growling some more profanities. He pulled himself, collapsing on top of me. Heavy panting the only noise in the house apart from the faint sound of kids cartoons.

"I'm sorry," he panted, searching for my gaze. I turned my head and our eyes met.

'Its okay. just no more hiding things please'.

'I'm sorry for missing dinner last night as well.' I add on and he lets out a soft nod , and grabs my hand beginning to play with them.

It was like all our problems suddenly were far far away, and all I wanted to do was to cuddle with him. And I did as I wanted, wrapping an arm around his chest, pressing my bare skin against his as he automatically wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah, me too."

A/N

THE END

(JOKES ITS A JOKE GUYS I STILL HAVE MORE CHAPTERS..

Hi guys I've had a week off but have been catching up on revision , vampire diaries and sleep.

NEARLY AT THE END OF THE STORY (I actually have no idea how to end it)

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