Chapter 46.

a/n

Trying to end story at Chapter 50 so not long now I'm sorry guys unless it goes completely wrong and ends at 60 :( I have to wrap it up before it gets too long. But remember the spin off 'Amnesia' will still have #Reblum moments in as it follows the characters Sasha and Ashton along the journey of their relationship. Also I apologies for the lack of updates I was on holiday and went back and edited falling for you.

Chapter 46

I can't help it. I can't help about thinking what Calum is doing all day long. The night club was a bit of a wake up call for me. I know Calum didn't do one thing wrong but the fact I doubted him showed me I haven't forgiven him completely, In my heart yes but my mind is still racing with the thoughts of his hands all over another girls body and it makes my skin crawl at the thought of it. When was I this girl? When was I the suffocating non-trustful girlfriend... wife.

I fiddle with my engagement ring staring out of the kitchen window and Calum swoops in with shopping bags placing them on the table then wrapping his arms around my waist placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

''Hi babe.'' he says , I turn around with a smile plastered onto my face as I begin unpacking the food he had brought home.

''Hi.'' I say my voice comes out as a squeak and I cough to cover it up.

''Are you sick?'' he asks walking up placing a palm to my head in which I shake it pushing he hand away gently

''No I'm fine.'' I smile again and walk to get the twins dinner ready.

''How was your day?'' I ask shifting the conversation to try and move past the awkward tension that it beginning to swallow us both up.

''It was good , we just talked about a few merchandise ideas and promo stuff... The usual. How about you?'' he says but my mind floats elsewhere what if hes lying to me? Should I call Ashton to ask him if he was doing the same.

''-Rebecca.'' I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I look over at Calum with an apologetic smile and nod as if I was listening to what he was saying.

''I said how was your day...'' he chuckles walking over to me and taking the bowls from my hands. He nudges his head towards the seat , I let out a sigh as I walk to the table and take a seat.

''Sorry my minds elsewhere today.'' I joke even though its true I can't think straight today not one bit , ''- It was fine , James was up on his feet again ... Rosalie is still getting the hang of it shes using the sofa to help her balance.'' I say with a smile thinking back to earlier this morning.

''Wow thats great news. We should celebrate with a movie or something.'' he beams

''I really can't deal with another talking animal or a musical'' I say closing my eyes and rubbing my temples softly. When my eyes open Calums face has dropped slightly and he reaches over to take my hand , I hesitatingly take his hand as he guides me to the bedroom.

''Take a nap... I'll call you when dinner is ready then I'll run you a bath and maybe just maybe give you one of my worlds best Calum Hood Massages.'' he smiles, he was adorable and he almost makes me forget about everything I doubted him about before. I'm being stupid aren't I? He has proven himself to me and to everyone... hasn't he? But what if hes done all this to her... her? Hell there is probably more than one women.

I nod my head and crawl into bed hoping that when I wake up from my slumber things will go back to the way they were , when I wasn't worrying every 5 seconds on what my husband was doing. Calum tucks me in and leans down to kiss me I move my head to the side so his lips connect to my cheek. His cheeks turn a lighter shade of red embarrassed almost and his eyes look sad. What am I doing to him? I'm going to ruin everything. I half smile at him then close my eyes hoping I am not giving him bad signals I need to sort my shit out.

Calum P.O.V

I could tell something was wrong the moment I caught Rebecca staring out the window. The way she froze when my arms hugged her from behind , I don't know what is going on. Maybe shes having doubts on getting back together ... I could sense that from the way she was fiddling the rings on her fingers. Fuck! Did I move things to fast again I just got he back I can't loose her again. Was it last night? Is she still mad that I talked to that blonde girl even though I truthfully was only getting her number for Ashton. Maybe its because I got pissed at her for even thinking I would cheat on her again and how we made a scene in front of the paparazzi again. But I am just hoping its because shes exhausted from looking after the kids... that one is defiantly better then any of the other reasons I have come up with.

Rebecca is totally zoned out as I begin telling my story about my work day ... I get it , its not the most exciting thing in the world but why ask? When she don't reply to my question my thoughts are answered that she is not listening or paying one bit of attention to me and I know something is wrong. I take what she is doing from her and gesture for her to sit down she obliges and runs her hands through her hair then picks at the edges of her nails two things that I know she does when shes in deep thought , nervous and overthinking things.

'Sorry my minds elsewhere today.' she says and I believe it more then she wants me too. She begins telling me a story about the kids , her eyes brighten up with that special twinkle in them and her mouth folds up into one of her perfect smiles. When shes finished and he eyes land on me her face goes cold again and I want to rewind so I can see her smile again.

''Wow thats great news. We should celebrate with a movie or something.'' I suggest , her reply edges me towards the idea of her being exhausted looking after the kids day and night while I'm busy working on the new album stuff. I take her hand in mine and guide her to the bedroom , and to bed where I tell her to get some rest while I keep busy.

Rebecca P.O.V

I roll over and notice it being ten times darker then it was before , stretching my arms and legs I push the duvet away from my body and do a double take at the clock... I've really been sleeping or 3 hours?

What happened to a short nap Calum had planned for me. I decide to change into sweats and a baggy t-shirt then make my way through the dark house. When I make it down the stairs the only light is the flashing from the television so I make my way into the living room. Calum Is sitting there with both of the kids to his right side who are fast asleep while Calum aimlessly watches the rest of the dreaded film with those little round yellow things that have been haunting me almost everywhere... honestly I dont see whats so good about them?

''Having fun?'' I whisper , Calums eyes snap towards me with a smile then gestures for me to sit with him. Pushing back all my previous thoughts and emotions I curl myself up on the sofa next to him and he kisses my head pulling me close to his chest.

I place a finger in the air as I get back up and lift James into my arms and gesture to Calum with my head to get Rosalie as we take them both to their cribs. Of course Rosalie is smarter then we think as she wakes up screaming and crying I shake my head trying to soothe her but its Calums gentle voice  singing lyrics to the famous 'bad dreams' that make her drift back to sleep. Oh how the memory of Calum pulling me up on stage to sing this to me back in Melbourne seems not to long ago , but It was years ago. Time seems to speed up when you have fun I never expected anything like this to have happened , I thought I'd have a relatonship with Calum but not later down the line marry him and have his chilren... then him to cheat on you , then run back to him like nothing happened my self conscious adds.

We both go back to the living room , Calum sits down and pulls me down with him as he wraps a loose arm around my body. My head lays on his chest and I let out a deep sigh when his fingers begin to twirl a strand of my hair. I close my eyes and try to push all of this anxiety and suspicion away from my fucking head.

''I love you , you know that right?'' Calum whispers into my ear then places a kiss on my cheek , caressing my cheek moving his fingers down my jaw to tilt my head to look up to him. I open my eyes and open my mouth to reply but nothing comes out.

''Rebecca?'' he says nervously sitting up in a upright postion , I sit up slowly and give him a small smile.

''I love you too , I'm just tired sorry.'' I say kissing him once more before standing up. I hold my hand out and he smiles weakly but takes it as we both head towards the bedroom.

When I wake up in the morning Calum is gone , I sigh and sit up looking around the bedroom. I get up and walk towards the mirror where a yellow sticky note is placed in the middle. ''Gone to the studio be back later , Mum has the kids thought you could use a break :) I love you Becky'' The gesture is sweet but my paranoia gets the best of me and I spend most of the day thinking of what Calum could be doing.

I take a bath to relieve some of my stress , I light a few candles and turn the radio up. I close my eyes and let the warm sensation of the hot water and the smell of scented Vanilla candles overtake my senses.

Calum P.O.V

Last night was awkward. I can tell Rebecca is hiding something but I dont know what. Things had been going great recently I feel like we're backtracking again. Did I rush her into things with me? I know she wanted to take things slow but I was too selfish to wait I had to make her mine again with the engagement ring... fuck I should of just left it. She thinks I dont notice that I'm falling for her acting but I can see shes not happy and something is bothering her ; Its torture for me. What hurts more is she couldn't even say she loved me back yesterday... well she did after realizing it looked strange but this time I don't know if she meant it or not. I called up Ana since she knows Rebecca better than anyone else even if they are not as close anymore. She told me she is probably just stressed and tired so that morning I left early to go to the studio and drop the twins off at my mum.

I know Rebecca hates giving the twins to either one of our parents because she doesn't want to seem like she cant handle them or that they're our personal child minders... but really our parents love having them. It gives them something to do now that they're getting old... oops don't tell them I said that.

I arrive at the studio , I pick up one of the doughnuts on the table and make myself a coffee from the machine. I take a seat on one of the sofas and wait for the other guys to arrive. Maybe I can talk to them about some of this? Ashton would probably be the best.

''Hey'' speak of the devil... Ashton says walking in the room and repeating my actions with the doughnut'n'Coffee.

''Hi '' I reply back , Michael walks in with Luke they are laughing and talking about some man they saw in the elevator with a green Mohawk singing along to the elevator music.

''Hi'' Michael says taking a seat next to me and taking the half of doughnut left in my hand and eats it.

''Dude.''

''I'm only thinking of your figure...'' he says in a high pitch voice then bursts out laughing.

''You know some-'' Luke begins , Michael glares at him and rolls his eyes then says 'Shut up Luke.'

Our producer soon walks into the room and goes over what we're doing today. Lukes first up and heads into the booth and sings some line about twenty times because everytime he says 'bitchin' he either laughs or one of us gasp and yell his name in our best Liz impression that causes him to laugh or flip us off.

I am really hopeful for our next album its going to be a lot edgier then our last... I think thats what our fans are hoping for. I feel like our last album was more controlled by our management and was to get us into the charts and familiarized but this time they're giving us much more freedom to produce what we want.

''Are you alright man? You seem zoned out today.'' Michael says looking up from my phone I give him a nod and shrug my shoulders.

''Yeah just stuff going on at home.''

''Women...'' Michael groans with a eye roll.

''Tell me about it.'' I laugh nodding my head , he must be in the doghouse with Sophia.

''All I did was leave the toilet seat up once and she bit my head off.'' he groans

''But didn't you also piss in the bin when you came home drunk after our night out....'' Ashton adds laughing , I shook my head slapping my knee laughing.

''You didn't.... man tell me you didn't.''

''IT WAS ONE TIME OKAY!!'' He yells but laughs as well. ''-So whats going on with you , what did you do?''

''I- I don't know guys.'' I close my eyes and let out a deep breath before opening them again '' I really don't know.''

''Oh shit this isn't good.'' Ashton says

''She just seems distant from me since the club situation... like we all told her that girl was for you Ashton and thats the truth! I am scared she is second guessing getting back with me. I can't let her go again shes everything I want and need.''

''Have you spoke about it at all?''

''No shes trying to act normal around me but I can see past all that I know her to well.''

''Talk to her tonight or something do something special maybe.'' Luke says and I didn't even notice he had joined us.

''Its your turn as well.'' he adds gesturing to the booth and I nod walking over to the door. He gives me a quick hug before I go in and says ''It will be okay mate... now lets smash this song.''

Rebecca P.O.V

I make myself something to eat and spend time watch some keeping up with kardashians... don't judge me its one of my guilty pleasures. Without the kids being here I haven't got as much distraction so my thoughts are all over the place and I find myself zoning out from Kylies lip drama and focus on Calum. Watching this show probably isn't the best idea because the moment I saw the tanned blonde bimbo Pia I almost threw my plate at the screen. Before I can come into terms of what I'm doing I press 'Calums' name and wait for him to answer.

''Reb... Rebecca are you okay?'' he says when I don't speak.

''...Yeah sorry I just , I must of but dialed you'' I lie and he chuckles softly which makes my heart melt I love his laugh its one of my favorite sounds.

''Sooo what are you doing.'' I ask picking at the edges of my nails.

''Just recording and stuff not alot , how is your day going?''

''Boring. I miss you. '' I whisper

''Are you coming on to me while I'm in work Rebecca?'' he says and I can imagine the smirk on his face.

''Shut up.'' I laugh , genuinely laugh. I sigh and lay back on the sofa.

''Are you sure you're okay?''

''Yeah I'm fine... I love you.'' I say

''I love you too... I gotta go before they kill me.'' he whispers

''Okay...''

''I'll see you later baby...'' he says and my heart flutters at the pet name he gives me. I do really love Calum with all my heart but I also cant live like this psycho girlfriend I'm being at the moment... I hear a girls laughter and I pause.

''Rebecca? Are you still there?'' 'Calum hurry up' I hear on the other end and I am unable to move I'm frozen my heart sinks to the bottom of my chest and I drop the phone on the sofa. I wait for him to disconnect the call then diall Ashtons name as fast as I can.

''Hello stranger.'' he laughs

''Hi.'' I tremble.

''Hey... whats wrong?'' he asks , I wipe under my eyes and take a deep breath.

''I.. What are you doing right now?''

''I'm at the studio , didn't Calum tell you?''

''Oh yes I just didn't know if you were all there ... silly me.'' I force a laugh out and bite at my nails.

''Did you want to speak to him?''

''N-.. No , he is there right?'' I close my eyes as I ask the question , embarrassed. I feel clingy and one of those girlfriends who has to check up on them 24/7 I've sunk so low to even ask my brother.

''Yeah... One second. Okay talk I left the room what is going on?''

''Nothing... Its nothing. I'm... I'm fine Ashton. I gotta go see you soon.'' I say

''Wait Becca, You do know that girl at the club was for me right? I promise I wouldn't let him fuck you over again sis.''

''I know. I'm being stupid I'm just tired. Now go and make a fucking good album I love you.''

''Okay I think you should talk to Calum but I love you too , Goodbye.'

''Bye'' I say end the call , grab a pillow and scream into it.

Calum P.O.V

I watch Ashton take a call then leave the room. I assume its that girl from the club or in hopes it is Sasha. I know he still loves her and It can't be easy for either of them , I feel like she did the right thing going back to London to sort her head out. That way its easier for Ashton to cope her being so far away.

''Who was it?'' I ask

''It was Rebecca actually'' he says scratching the stubble on his chin.

''Really? I just spoke to her then she went all silent I thought the phone broke or something.''

''Must be your phone she sounded fine to me ... well not fine.''

''What do you mean?'' I ask folding my arms as I watch Ashton gather his hair up and put into a bun.

''I don't know it was weird like she was checking up on you?''

''I'll talk to her when I get home.'' I sigh and groan as Michael exits the recording booth and dives onto me.

''BUNDLE!!'' Luke yells and runs over and jumps on top followed by Ashton. Ashley is sitting across from us laughing and filming us being dorks.

Ashley is a great writer and is on capitol records too , she came in to let us listen to her debut album 'badlands' and came to see some of our stuff. She is crazy talented and her boyfriend Lido is a great producer he's helping John on a few tracks. She kinda reminds me of the female version of Michael with her crazy blue hair. Oh you might know her better as the name... Halsey.

A/N

HI IM BACK BITCHES

I had this chapter half done weeks ago but I went to put some old falling for you memories into it and ended up editing about six chapters of that story... oops. I've also been having a little break so I can get my creative ideas back.

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