chapter 32

Chapter 5Dawn breaksShe woke up the next day with the sun streaming in. She clutched the blanket around her and rolled onto her side, curling up, fear the first emotion as she came to. Chintan! The name escaped her lips like a sigh.She got up abruptly, throwing the covers back. The slight feeling of giddiness curtailed her progress. As she steadied herself, she became aware of the sounds coming from outside. Some raised voices - one corner of her mind registered. She looked towards the door.“What will you have, didi? Some chai?” asked a young girl, the daughter of one of the women she had interviewed.She came back to this world, remembered the night, her own body repulsive to her. She walked towards the door, her mind fixated on first having a bath, cleansing herself of that touch. “Didi!” the girl called after her, worried by her distracted manner. “What’s happening?” she asked, pausing at the door, not wanting to meet anyone. “Dulari’s husband… They are deciding what to do.”She wanted to shrink and vanish. The whole village knew. She crumpled, pressed down by a heavy feeling.“Didi!” the girl almost shouted out in panic.Anu pulled herself together and strode towards Jamna’s house. The girl ran with her, asking where she was going. “Babuji asked me to take care of you.”She walked steadfastly without responding. When the girl persisted, she stopped and turned to her. “Can you get me some water to bathe?”The girl, glad to be of some help, ran to do her bidding. Anu entered the house and shuddered. She did not like being alone here. She was glad when the girl walked in with a pot of water. Patting her cheek, she sent her away.She had to use that single pot of water carefully. What she needed was a truck full of water to cleanse herself. Tears poured down, merging with the bath water, but her skin didn’t feel clean.Finally she stopped, frustrated at the futility of it all. As she dressed and stepped out, there was an urgent knock on the door. She opened it and found a visibly upset Ganga and Dulari came in. “Anu! Anu! What have you done?” Not waiting for a response, she turned back on Dulari, “How can you listen to an inexperienced girl and not come to me before doing this foolish thing? What if something had happened to her?”Anu felt her face going warm and red. Her humiliation was complete. “Sorry.”“Sorry! Sorry!” Ganga said shrilly. Ganga stretched out her arm and put a surprisingly gentle hand on her and said in a softer tone, “If something had happened to you! Have you thought of that?”Weighed down by the thought and the caring in Ganga’s voice, Anu hung her head. “Foolish, absolutely foolish,” Ganga said briskly, turning away from her.Anu buried her face in her hands and sobbed. “Oh child! I am sorry for all that happened. I am very shaken… and am not thinking of you! Take rest today. Would you like to go back home? I will make arrangements,” Ganga continued quickly.“I will take care of that,” a familiar male voice intervened. “That is… if she does not mind…” he said more softly.Anu looked at him and froze, not sure if her mind was playing tricks. A surprised Ganga said, “I didn’t know you were here!” He didn’t take his eyes off Anu. “Yes, I returned last night and heard about the… it. I went to see her and found that she is an old friend.” He addressed Anu now. “Can I take you back home?”Ganga answered. “That will be great, then!” She looked at Anu for confirmation. Anu nodded meekly.