âIâm not worriedâ¦â¦. I was just wondering what to talk about today.â
âYou talk about anything like youâre talking to a friend.â
The little child said it wasnât a big deal, but I had more trouble with it.
âWith friends⦠What do you talk about?â
âItâs the same. What are you interested in these days, or what is fun? We usually talk like that.â .
I know that! So whatâs the point of talking about that to Father? I want to have a more conversational conversation!
The little child kept talking about useless things, so I felt sulky. I thought she was smart, but I guess not. I thought I had asked the little child something she didnât even know well.
âDo you want to tell a special story that will catch the Grand Dukeâs eyes?â
It was then. Only then did the words I want to hear come out of the little childâs mouth.
âOf course!â
âDo you want to show the Grand Duke the image of a smart and reliable son by talking about difficult things?â
âYes. I want to.â
The little child pointed it out clearly. So I had no choice but to admit the feelings I tried to ignore. I also want to be recognized by Father. I shouted no because I didnât want to get hurt, but I actually want to be a son Father is proud of.
So I waited for the little childâs next words. Will there be a story I can use?
âI think thatâs possible. By the way, do you want to be useful to the Grand Duke? Are you not his son?â
What does she mean by this? With the little childâs coercion, emotions rose up. But before I could say anything, the little child spoke quickly.
âIt would be nice just to be seen in the Grand Dukeâs eyes. But if that happens, I think it will be difficult to become a proper father-and-son.â
What are you talking about! She had an interesting conversation with Father, who likes useful people, but why is it so hard to be a proper father and son? If I am smart, Father will like me. If Iâm considered smart, heâll pay more attention!
âWhy? Father⦠prefers people who are useful. Last time it was you!â
I almost said something useless in the heat of my emotions. I hurriedly shut my mouth, but I couldnât help the resentment. I even resented it even more when the little child who was recognized by Father, not someone else, said that.
Father smiled at the little child and praised her. Why canât I when I get what I so desperately want?
âRight. The Grand Duke likes useful people.â
You know that!
âThe difference between the Grand Duke and the Grand Prince is too far. In fact, you donât look like a normal father-and-son.â
It hurt so much to be denied by others what I always wanted. At that moment, I couldnât control my emotions and almost cried, so I strained my eyes and glared at the kid. How much do you know about the relationship between Father and me!
âJust because the Grand Duke likes someone who is capable, doesnât mean heâs someone to get close with. Being friendly is different. Did the Grand Duke show me special affection because he found me useful? Itâs not. There is a difference between being acknowledged for your abilities and getting close to them emotionally.â
âI know! I still want to be recognized!â
I know Father doesnât treat you like a daughter! But I donât even have that. I donât even have that kind of interest.
âIt is never too late to receive recognition later. Weâre young.â
âI am not young.â
âNo. weâre young. And there are things we can only do when weâre young.â
How can you call yourself young? I hated being treated like a child.
âNow is the age at which they can understand even if weâre not good at it, and they understand even if weâre a bit childish. These are things we canât do later. You have to use this privilege to make friends with the Grand Duke personally now.â
âI wonât act childish! Iâm the Grand Prince!â
Being young is a privilege, the little child tried to convince me with nonsense.
âYes. I donât know whoâs loss it is, if they donât get to know the Grand Duke because they donât want to act childish.â
How could she say irresponsible things like that, what would Father do when he gets tired of childishness! I endured, saying I couldnât be childish, but I couldnât ignore the little childâs words casually.
And though spitefully, Father saw the little child better than me. Maybe the little child knows Father better than I do.