Chapter 120: CH 120

“Actually, I don’t enjoy studying.”

I didn’t enjoy studying. I just chose to study out of necessity.

“As expected.”

It wasn’t a voice of disappointment. Rather, the attitude of knowing that it would be like that created an anxiety in me. Was he thinking that I was being unfaithful?

“Did you notice?”

“You’re good at concentrating, but you’re not into it.”

I don’t know what the difference is, but it seems that Mr. Hafterry saw through that. And he was not very offended by it. Still, as I looked at him slightly apologetically, Mr. Hafterry returned his graceful smile.

“It’s okay. Even if you don’t have fun, you seek learning.”

“I just have to do it, so I’m doing it because I can.”

It really was. I could have done it in my previous life, but I regretted not doing it. I didn’t want to have that regret this time, so I just worked hard. It felt strange to see him looking at me so pleasantly. So I confessed in a low voice, embarrassed that I was not such a child to be proud of.

“Aren, being able to do that is something I am proud of. It’s even more amazing to put that kind of effort into something you don’t like.”

My face kept getting hotter at that radiant gaze, as if he was looking a disciple he was really proud of. Due to my embarrassment, my fingertips and toes keep wriggling. These days, I feel restless, especially at Mr. Hafterry’s attitude.

Whenever I see Mr. Hafterry, there was always a subtle sense of tension, like the feeling of seeing a handsome teacher I admired in high school. When he smiled like that, I felt strangely excited because Mr. Hafterry was really an intelligent, handsome man.

A 14-year-old fluttering with excitement. Well, I need to have such a wonderful person around me. Even though I knew that it was just between a master and a student, my pounding was almost a reflex.

For seven years, my surroundings have not changed at all. I usually studied with Mr. Hafterry at the mansion, and when I had time, I went to the Grand Duke’s mansion and studied with Kir. I had no outdoor activity and no hobbies, so it was no different from when I was 7 years old. There was no need to meet new people at all.

As a result, Mr. Hafterry’s beauty seemed to shine even more. There’s my father, but he was really like a bandit. Kir was a pretty kid with a dirty temper. There was Knight Henry, Kir’s escort knight, but even so, Mr. Hafterry’s fragile and upright image touched my delicate heart more.

I shouldn’t keep revealing my feelings like this, but I couldn’t help it because it was a reflex action when I saw a handsome face. That’s how I rationalized this pounding in my heart.

“Even if you keep praising me like that, I have nothing to praise you.”

I patted my cheek a little, embarrassed, and replied bluntly. Mr. Hafterry let out a low laugh, then slowly withdrew his laugh and met my gaze. With serious eyes, I also erased the playfulness. What’s going on? I could read the hesitation that was uncharacteristic of Mr. Hafterry.

“Aren, do you want to study more?”

I have no desire to study more. But I feel the need to study more. And somehow it seemed like an important question, so I chose my words carefully.

“I don’t think it’s time to stop.”

Did he not like the answer? A bittersweet smile appeared on Mr. Hafterry. Should I have just said I wanted to study more? I’m sorry I disappointed you, Mr. Hafterry. I wiggled my fingers and hold my hand together. As much as Mr. Hafterry’s mood was heavy, my hands looked smaller today.

“I’m sorry.”

I was surprised as he suddenly apologized. When I opened my eyes wide, Mr. Hafterry said as if it was a pity.

“I can no longer teach.”

The word ‘out of the blue’ was made to be used in such a case. Suddenly, my heart dropped. I guess it’s because I didn’t answer well. I should have said I want to study more!

“Why all of a sudden?”

Was it because I am a bad student? Because I didn’t aim to be a scholar? Tears welled up in my eyes from sadness and bewilderment.

“It is my personal matter.”

“Is that because I’m a bad student?”

Mr. Hafterry’s eyes widened slightly, then returned to their original size.

“That is absolutely not the case. Don’t worry about that. Aren, I’m proud to have you as my student.”