Josiah
She stared at me, her eyes wide with fear.
There was something else in her eyes.
Disgust?
Shame?
Disappointment.
I reached out to help her out of the closet but she backs away from me. "What are you doing here Camille? How did you get here?"
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I back away from her hoping it'll encourage her to come out. She comes out slowly but doesn't get far, keeping a prominent distance from me.
"Camille you need to go back home, okay?" Her eyes move to the dead man on the ground and she quickly looks away. I reach out to her trying to guide her out of the room but she refuses to come with me. "Camille baby it's me. We have to get you out of here."
She shakes her head, "I don't want to go with you."
She looks down as tears fill her eyes once again. "I've been so oblivious, this is who you really are." I sigh, "Camille you knew who I was when you met me."
"So this is where you've been the past few days? Can't call or send a text because you're too busy murdering people! I thought you were dead!"
"Camille can we not talk about this here? Let's at least go upstairs."
"Why so we can get away from the corpse of the man you just killed!"
"You know I've killed people!" I exclaim back.
She nods calmly, "Yes, yes I do. But I have never, seen this side of you Josiah. I guess I was too in love with you to really notice it."
I raise my eyebrow, "Was? Baby we can talk about this, I'm still me. I've always been, I love you." I try to get closer to her but once again she moves away.
She looks up at me, "You are still you, you're still 'big Jo'. That's the problem."
For the second time in my life, I felt my heart break into a million little pieces. I physically felt pain in my chest as she walked away from me and toward Charlie who was at the doorway. "Take me home please." She whispers once she got close enough for him to hear.
He looks at me with a questioning gaze and I nod, knowing I can't speak to her in this state. I look down at my appearance, I was covered in blood and probably looked like a mad men. Hell, I am a mad man.
This was the first time Camille had seen me take someone's life.
I ordered the men to clean up the room and put the other man in another room till I was ready to finish up or for Charlie to get back. I couldn't continue my work now, not when Camille is in the process of leaving me again.
I head up to my office, and hop into the shower to get cleaned up. I change my clothes and await Charlie's arrival before leaving. "What the hell happened?" He asks as he enters my office. I slid my hand over my face in frustration, "I am firing everyone!"
"How the hell did she get in here? I want everyone questioned and anyone fired!"
Charlie begins to speak but I interrupt, "And her guard? Where is he? These guards always have one job, fire him too!"
"What did she say to you? Where is she now?" I ask him urgently.
"I think you should take a seat for a moment. She's at her apartment, she said nothing to me in the car besides for me to take her there."
"Then I'm going to see her."
"You know you can't do that right now sir, we're about to finally end this."
I knock some things off my desk, "She's going to leave me!"
"She already has, and she'll be a walking target if we don't finish this soon."
I sigh knowing he was right.
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Camille
I was silent during the ride back to my apartment with Charlie. There was nothing to say, my brother was right and always has been. I may be in love with the sweet loving man that I've come to know as Josiah, but he is still big Jo. I've known this fact for a while now, but to see it face to face was something else.
It was almost like Josiah and big Jo were two different people. The man I saw today was not the man I love. The man I saw today was a cold blooded killer who murdered people without a second thought. A man with cold soulless eyes, not the warm loving ones that gaze at me so often. I shed another tear realizing how oblivious I've been.
I know he killed Tyler, and I was there when Lancing was killed as well. But Lancing was killed at Charlie's hand, and he was a bad man. But those two men that Josiah kept beating on looked so innocent and afraid of death. They were probably like me and just accidentally got wrapped up into this dark twisted world.
So many thoughts ran through my head and I didn't even notice we had arrived at my apartment complex. "I will escort you upstairs." Charlie says as he unlocks the door. I nod before following him out of the car and up the stairs to my place.
I knock on the door and await the girls response. Mitchie opens the door with a surprised look on her face, "Camille! Rosa has been ranting all day about you and we were getting worried. What's going on?"
I turn to Charlie, "Thanks for the ride." And with that I close the door behind me as I enter the apartment.
"¿Estás loca? You snuck out the window! Bitch you've had me worried sick." Rosa enters the room ranging until she gets close to me. "Sweetie what happened?" Her demeanor suddenly changes when she sees my face.
I sigh, "I know I owe you both an explanation but can I just have a moment? I'm gonna take a shower and then I'll explain everything, I promise."
They both nod and I head to the bathroom, hoping a nice hot shower will relieve me of the tension I'm currently feeling. The hot water feels good on my body after a long day but my mind can only think about the events I just witnessed. Josiah waving his gun around like it was a toy, teasing the men. Him constantly hitting them when they did something he didn't like. It makes me think back to the torture chamber video I was shown the first time I ended up in his grasps. I could only now imagine Josiah torturing an innocent person in there.
Could I really be with someone knowing they do things like that? It just didn't make sense how someone could commit such heinous acts but still be the person who kisses my wounds and tells me I'm beautiful. Was I suffering from Stockholm syndrome?
Was I really in love with Josiah? Or was I just attached to him because I spent too much forced time with him? Or was it because he was always the one saving me? Regardless if he loved me, do I actually love him?
I felt like I didn't know anything anymore and finally just let the tears out and cried. I slid to the bottom of the shower and let the sobs free.
When I finally got out of the shower the girls were waiting for me in the living room. I took a seat on the couch and immediately began explaining the events that led up to today as well as today's events. They listened quietly as I rambled on about my unsure feelings for Josiah as well as how I saw him today.
"Cam breathe, just breathe for a second." Mitchie finally said when I finished. I took a deep breath and let it out."You don't have to know if you love Josiah right now. A lot has happened and you have a lot to process."
Rosa nods in agreement, "Maybe you just need more time away from him. Just to really think things over. But whatever you decide we're here for you."
I nod again, thankfully for my girls. They were always there for me when I needed them. "How about we watch a movie? Mitchie suggests.
We pop in a movie and it does help me get my mind off things temporarily. But by the time it ended and we all headed off to bed, my thoughts fought amongst each other in my head.
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