Chapter : 33 - Bas, mohabbat hein toh ki tih.

"Bhai? You here?" Samir asked me with great surprise as he saw me entering the club.

"Why? Am I banned from coming here?" I asked him sternly.

"N-no, you had stopped coming, so I thought--"

"What did you think?" I interrupted him, taking a cigarette in my hand.

"That you might have changed?" Samir said in a low voice.

"And you're the one saying this, Samir?" I taunted him.

He didn't say anything further and got up from the couch to go sit with other people.

But here I am... why am I feeling troubled?

I don't even know why I came here. But when I took the first step to enter the club, why did everything feel so unfamiliar? I've been coming here for years, so why does everything feel wrong today?

What is happening to me? And why is all this happening to me? And for what reason... Is it all because of her?

Why do I like hearing her talk about Allah, why do I find her pure love for Allah so appealing? The same Allah I am so distant from? Then why do I keep thinking about that very Allah?

That woman even prayed to her Allah for me, and how can I tell her that I am not the person she thinks I am?

When I found out that she wasn't opening the door, why did I first pray to her Allah for her safety? Why did I utter "Ya Allah" when I saw her unconscious? Why did "Shukr Allah" come out of my mouth when I saw her open her eyes? I had never asked anything from Allah before. So, what happened to me yesterday?

Who is changing me? Uns or Allah? And why am I changing?

Sitting on a couch in the club with my head in my hands, I was searching for answers to my questions when I sensed her fragrance of jasmine. Before I could understand anything---

"Aziz," her soft voice echoed in my ears.

I slowly removed my hands from my head, lifted my eyes, and... there she was, standing in front of me.

I wished it was a dream. I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them, everything would disappear, or I would enter another dream. But when I opened my eyes, she was the only one I could see; everything else seemed to have disappeared.

At this moment, in this place, she stood in front of me, not blinking, just looking at me, and I kept looking at her.

"U... Uns," came my broken voice. But, still she didn't respond.

"You've been lying to me this whole time, Aziz?" her broken voice came through.

My words seemed to stuck in my throat; I was unable to say anything except her name.

Receiving no answer from me, she turned and started walking towards the door.

And I just stood there like a stone, watching her leave, unable to say anything.

"Bhai, Bhai," Samir shook my shoulder to bring me back to reality. I looked at him, then at the open door.

"Was I dreaming?" I asked Samir while looking at him, hoping he would say, "Yes, yes brother, maybe you were dreaming."

"No, bhai, bhabhi really come here," he shattered all my hopes in one go.

Listening to him, I walked straight out the door to see her walking in the rain. It was raining now? But why did it have to rain today?

"Uns," I called her, but she neither answered me nor turned to look at me. I ran and stood in front of her. She was drenched, not just by the rain but also by her tears streaming down her cheeks.

Her gaze was fixed on the ground.

"I was helpless, Uns. I was afraid of losing you," I began to explain.

"Was my love so weak, Aziz, that you didn't trust me even once? Just once, Aziz, if you had told me you were a Muslim in name only, if you had told me you weren't who I thought you were, just once, then I wouldn't have hated you so much today.

"Do you know what your one lie has broken? My love, my trust, my happiness, and now my fate as well."

She kept speaking, and I just kept listening to her.

"You were the one, Aziz, who was with me yesterday, who made me laugh, made me feel safe, and today..." She stopped speaking, unable to continue, and began crying uncontrollably in front of me. I stood there, just watching her tears.

"Toh, tum mujhe chod ke jaa rahi hoon?" was the only question that came out of my mouth. My voice was broken, but this shameless heart still hoped she wouldn't leave me.

(So, you're leaving me?)

"Haan," She said as she walked away.

(Yes)

"Mat jaou, Uns," Maine minnat ki.

("Don't go," I pleaded)

"Fi amanillah, Aziz," she said before leaving without saying anything more.

Woh jaa rahi tih. Uns Reza, meri zindagi seh jaa rahi tih.

(She was leaving. Uns Reza was leaving from my life)

I stood there in the rain, watching her go.

She was gone, but what about her memories? I loved her too, so what about my love?

I reached home, my condition was even worse than before, my clothes were completely soaked from the rain. There was no one at home, so I went straight to my room. As I entered, memories of her flooded my mind. When I was sick last time, she used to stand right by the door and scold me with such authority.

Then my eyes fell on the couch in the corner of the room, where we once sat and talked about her Allah. Her laughter, her shyness, her anger-all these memories came rushing back once again.

"Take a shower, Aziz," I told myself, and went to take a shower.

Standing in front of the mirror, I saw myself. Water was still dripping from my hair, and tears were streaming from my eyes. She was gone, out of my life.

Uns Reza left me for her Allah.

After changing clothes, I came back to my room and saw Ammi placing something on the nightstand.

"Aziz, I've kept your tea here. Come downstairs for dinner," she said, placing a glass of water on the night stand.

I turned away and stood near my bookshelf, I was unable to show her my face. When I didn't respond, Ammi left the room.

Lying on my bed, my eyes were fixed only on that cup of tea.

"Why can't you watch where you're going, Nihayati Bhegairat Insaan"? That was our first argument during our first meeting.

"How Bhegairat you are, Nader," she said to me, laughing in the restaurant.

"Mujhe aapse mohabbat hogayi hai, Nader," she confessed her love.

And today, she left me.

For Urdu/Hindi Readers.

For English Readers.

"Appi, what have you done to yourself?" Sahara asked me, seeing me drenched in the rain as I entered the car.

I didn't respond to her and started scrolling through my phone.

"Uns, you can't just sit there without responding to us. When you asked us not to join along with you, we all listened to you. So now, you have to answer our questions too," Ezzeh said, being frustrated by my silence.

"Nothing much happened, Ezzeh," I replied softly and got busy with my phone again.

We reached home, and I went straight to my room.

"Appi, are you okay?" Sahara asked with concern, following me.

"Yes, what's wrong with me?" I said with a slight smile.

I looked around my room, at the wardrobe, and then at Sahara, who was still standing there.

"Sahara, Can you get me some coffee?" I asked.

"I'll bring it right away," she said, leaving the room.

I took out my suitcase and started packing my clothes.

By the time my clothes were packed, Sahara had returned with the coffee.

"What is all this, Appi?" Sahara asked, shocked and confused to see my suitcase.

"It's time to leave India, Sahara," I said, smiling as I looked at her.

She stared at me in disbelief as I took the coffee cup from her.

"Why are you staring like that? Help me," I said while sipping the coffee.

"Are you really leaving India, Appi? Why?" she asked with a broken voice.

India is not for me, Sahara, or rather, I am not fit to live in India," I said to her with a slight smile.

"Appi," she said, coming towards me and embracing me tightly.

She started crying on my shoulder, and I just patted her back.

After a few minutes, she broke the hug and helped me with the packing.

"But how will you go, Appi? When is your flight?" Sahara asked, now confused.

"My flight is at 1:00 am, Sahara," I said while closing my suitcase.

"When did you book it?" Sahara asked.

"I was booking the flight in the car," I replied, lifting the suitcase.

"Where is Ammi?" I asked her before she could enquire about anything else.

"Ammi is in her room," Sahara replied.

"Ammi," I called out while turning on the lights in her room.

Ammi was lying on the bed, and she slowly got up as I entered.

"Yes, Uns, was there something?" Ammi asked gently.

I didn't say anything in response and sat down beside her. She placed her hand on my head, and I felt the urge to hug her tightly and remove all my pain by crying on her shoulder, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Uns, what's wrong?" Ammi asked, looking at me as I remained silent.

"I need your permission," I began softly.

"For what?" Ammi asked, her hand still on my head.

"To go to America," I said, lowering my gaze.

Ammi lifted her hand from my head and just looked at me.

"Why? After a long silence, Ammi asked.

"I just don't feel like staying here. I'll continue my further studies in America, and besides, I have to go there for medical studies anyway, so it's better to go now," I kept giving her reasons.

"But beta, it's just six months left until your college is over. After that, you can go," Ammi tried to convince me gently.

"I want to go now, Ammi," I said firmly this time.

"So, Can I go?" I asked her the same question.

"When is your flight?" Ammi asked.

"It's in three hours," I said softly.

"When will you come back?" Ammi asked hopefully.

"Soon, Ammi," I said, trying to reassure her.

"Take care of yourself," Ammi said, while kissing my forehead.

"You too," I said with a smile.

"Don't forget me," Sahara said, hugging me tightly as I waited outside for Iqbal.

"I could never forget you," I replied, hugging her back tightly.

We broke the hug, and Iqbal arrived with the car. He loaded the luggage, and I sat in the back seat, bidding her a final goodbye.

As the car started moving, tears began to well up in my eyes. His smile, his laughter, his eyes, his face, his lies, everything started flooding back into my memory.

Bas, mohabbat hein toh ki tih.

For Urdu/Hindi Readers.

For English Readers.

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Uns Reza meri zindagi seh jaa chuki tih.

Uns Reza left me for her Allah.

Kya Allah ki mohabbat, meri mohabbat seh badkar hai?

It's time to leave India, Sahara.

As the car started moving, tears began to well up in my eyes.

"Mat jaou, Uns," Maine minnat ki.