Chapter : 44 - Nikkah

After finishing my prayer, I went to the bed, drank a glass of water, and looked at the clock. It was 4:30, and there was half an hour left until Fajr.

My gaze fell on the Quran on the shelf, and I felt the desire to read the same verses that had brought me to where I am today.

They were the opening verses of the Quran, which I knew by heart, but I wanted to read them from the Quran itself. As I opened the Quran and read the names of Allah, my finger stopped at 'Al-Aziz.'

"You are like that baaji who would cry upon reading your name," I remembered Ali's words. Thinking of Ali's words and Uns, tears fell from my eyes again.

After reading the Quran, Samir, Tamir, and I went to offer Fajr prayers.

Today, at 11 o'clock in the morning, my Nikah was scheduled.

After coming home, I slept for a while. I woke up at 8, talked with Abbu and Ammi for a bit, had breakfast, and then we reached the mosque.

Maulvi Sahib was sitting in front of me, with Abbu on my left and Hassan uncle on my right. In front of me were Samir, Tamir, and a few witnesses.

Maulvi Sahab read the sermon and then started asking for my acceptance.

"Kya aap, Aziz Nader, ko Uns Reza apni biwi qabool hai?" Maulvi Sahab asked.

(Do you, Aziz Nader, accept Uns Reza as your wife?)

"Qabool hai," I said.

(I accept)

The question was asked three times, and each time I responded with "I accept."

"As the mahr, a sum of 200,000 was agreed upon. Are you satisfied with this?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

Then, I signed the marriage certificate. Maulvi Sahab offered a prayer, and everyone said 'Ameen.' After signing the papers, I performed two prostrations to thank Allah.

When I got up from the prostration, everyone was embracing me to congratulate me.

After offering the Zuhr prayer, we all set out to go to the Reza's place.

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I couldn't sleep all night, there was a strange restlessness in my heart, as if a dream was about to come true. A dream I never even hoped would come true.

At 7 in the morning, I had coffee made by Ezzeh. She had arrived the previous evening. Ezzeh and I were sitting in the room drinking coffee when Sahara knocked with another cup of coffee. After seven years, the three of us were sitting together again, having coffee and chatting.

An hour later, Ammi and Ezzeh's mom arrived and sent me to take a shower. After the shower, I prayed two rakats of Salah, and when I came down to the hall with Ezzeh and Sahara, I saw that Maulvi Sahib, Ammi, Abbu, Uncle Khalid, Aunty Zaina, and a few others were already seated. I sat on the couch, Ammi on my left and Zaina aunty on my right.

Then, Maulvi Sahib recited the Khutbah and asked for my consent.

"Kya app, Uns Reza, ko Aziz Nader apna shauhar qabool hai?" Maulvi Sahib asked.

(Do you, Uns Reza, accept Aziz Nader as your husband?)

"Qabool hai," I said calmly.

(I accept)

The question was asked three times, and each time I answered with "I accept."

After the Haq Mahr was determined, I signed the Nikah Nama. Once the signing was done, everyone started offering their prayers and congratulations.

Jab abbu ke paas gayi toh unhone ek halki sih muskurahat di aur apna haath mere sar par rakha tah. Unka haath sar par mehsoos hote hein aankhon seh ek annsu gira, bas yahi toh chahiye tah mujhe, unka haath mere sar par. Unki dua aur unki muskurahat.

(When I went to my father, he gave a faint smile and placed his hand on my head. Feeling his hand on my head, a tear rolled down from my eye. This was all I wanted: his hand on my head, his prayers, and his smile).

"Stay happy," Abbu said while caressing my head.

When I looked up at him with teary eyes, I saw that his eyes were also soft, and there was a comforting smile on his face.

Sometimes words fall short to describe such emotions; my heart longed to hug him tightly and cry. To tell him how much I still need his love.

Then, Ammi hugged me tightly, crying like a child. I couldn't tell if she was expressing her sorrow or her joy through those tears. Perhaps she was happy that Abbu spoke to me, and sad about who would eat her biryani now?

"Ammi, you're crying more than me," I said, wiping her tearful eyes.

"What can I do? You are my first child and very precious to me. I'll just miss you," Ammi said, holding my hands in hers.

There were tears in Ammi's eyes, happiness on her face, and sadness in her voice.

"Ghar jamai banalo phir, Aziz ko," I teased.

(Why not make Aziz a house husband then)

"Shameless," Ammi said.

Then we both smiled.

"Go and change your clothes. The Ruksati will be in the evening," Ammi said with a smile.

"Yes," I replied and went to my room with Ezzeh and Sahara.

Ezzeh and Sahara were talking to me, but my mind was elsewhere. My nikah had taken place, with Aziz Nader. Uns Reza had now become Uns Nader. The person I couldn't forget for seven years, I married him within a month.

He was no longer just a lover, or a fiance, but now he was my husband.

********

In the evening, when I came downstairs wearing the outfit chosen by my husband.

I saw him standing in front of me, holding a rose bouquet, with his eyes lowered. I thought he would look at me, but he kept his gaze down.

I started walking towards him. He was standing there in a black suit. His neatly combed black hair made him look even more attractive. His ocean blue eyes were fixed on the ground, and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. Was he feeling shy?

He wore a ring with my name on his left hand and held a bouquet for me in his right hand. It didn't seem like he was my husband; he looked more like a CEO.

Accha lagh raha tah, woh.

When I stood in front of him, he greeted me and handed me the bouquet. Our eyes met. His blue eyes were looking into mine, or perhaps I was seeing myself in his eyes. He looked at me without blinking for a second.

"Uns and Aziz, please sit down," I heard Ammi's voice.

Aziz extended his hand, and I smiled and extended mine towards him. He took my hand in his.

Aur jab usne haath pakda toh na dil ki dhadkan tez hui na saans ruki tih, balki maine ek ajeeb sa sukoon mehsoos kiya tah, aisa lagh raha tah ki mere Allah neh ek hein shaqshs ke wajud mein, mera saara Sukoon daal diya hai.

(And when he held my hand, neither did my heartbeat race nor did my breath stop; instead, I felt a strange sense of peace, as if my Allah had placed all my comfort in this one person).

"Nikkah mubarak ho," Aziz said, looking at me.

(Congratulations on the nikah)

"Aapko bhi," I replied.

"Aap?" he teased.

"Just for today," I said, giving him an innocent smile.

"Alright, Begum," he said.

And here, my cheeks blushed.

After that, we couldn't talk. Everyone started congratulating us. A few hours later, when it was time for the Ruksati, he extended his hand. I stood up and held his hand.

After meeting Ammi, Sahara, Ezzeh, and Abbu, we came outside, and Aziz's Porsche was waiting there.

"You haven't changed it yet?" I asked.

"There are too many memories attached to this car. How could I change it?" he said, looking at me.

When I looked at the car, all our memories flashed in front of me. We had our fights in it, we drank coffee while leaning on it, and Aziz was right; there were a lot of memories connected to this car.

Samir was driving, Zaina Aunty was in the front seat, and Aziz and I were in the back. It was around 7 PM. It would take about 30 more minutes to reach Nader Mansion.

I was looking at the sky through the window, and Aziz was tracing some lines on my hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked softly, turning away from the window.

"Holding my wife's hand," he said with a smile.

I didn't reply and turned my gaze back to the window.

When we reached Nader Mansion, Aziz opened the car door, took the bouquet from my hand, and held my hand. As we went inside, the entire house was beautifully decorated with roses.

We sat on the couch, and Uncle Khalid was talking to me while Aziz went to the kitchen. A little later, Aziz and Zaina Aunty came out with a tray of tea cups.

Zaina aunty was serving the tea's whereas Aziz came towards me and kept the mug in front of me.

"Coffee," he said and sat beside me while taking a sip of his tea.

*********

After talking for a while, Aziz led me to his room. His room had changed a bit, the theme was the same, but there were some alterations. The artificial daisies were still there, but there were more books than before, and some abstract paintings that used to be there were now gone. I was placing the bouquet on his nightstand when he called me from behind.

"Uns," Aziz called out.

I turned around after setting the bouquet down.

"Come here," he gestured with his hand.

I went to him. After looking at me for a moment, he gently kissed my forehead.

"I want us both to pray two rakats of Shukr together," he said, holding my hand.

In that moment, I felt my breath catch. He believes in prayer? He believes in my Allah? Before I could say anything, he went to the washroom.

A few minutes later, Aziz came out after performing wuzu and took prayer mats from the shelf near the books.

"Perform your wuzu, Uns. Let's pray together," Aziz said, holding the prayer mat while sitting on the bed.

When I came back after performing wuzu, he was still waiting for me on the bed. Seeing me, Aziz got up and laid out two prayer mats.

He stood in front of me, and I stood behind him.

As I stood there, ready for prayer, a flood of tears came. When I bowed after reciting the Kalma, tears fell onto my feet.

Jab doh salam phire toh usne mujhe dekha, uski aankhen bhi gili tih. Phir saamne mudkar usne dua ke liye haath pehlai aur maine bhi dua ke liye haath uthai.

Dua maangne seh pehle aansu girne lage teh.

Mai tujhse kya kahu Allah, kya kahu, tune toh mujhe kuch kehne layak hein nahi choda. Meri badkismat naseeb mein Aziz Nader ki paak kismat likh di.

Tujhse gila kiya tah ki sirf accha insaan diya hai, acha musalman nahi. Tune toh dono de diya. Maine konsi neki ki tih, jiska mujhe itna bada sawab mil raha hai.

Mai dua karti rahi aur aansu girte rahe, shayad khushi ke aansu teh joh rukhne ka naam hein nahi leh rahe teh.

Dua ke baad jab sajde mein gayi toh aur annsu aane lage, agar sajde na hote toh mai toh kahi ki na hoti.

Koi gila, koi shiqwa, koi sawal, koi jawab nahi tah, bas ek ajeeb sa sukoon mil raha tah mujhe sajde mein.

(When we finished the prayer with two salams, he looked at me, his eyes also wet. Then, turning forward, he raised his hands for dua, and I also raised my hands.

Before I could even begin my dua, tears started to fall.

What can I say to you, Allah? What can I say? You haven't left me with anything to say. You wrote Aziz Nader's pure fate into my unlucky destiny.

I complained to you that you only gave me a good person, not a good Muslim. But, You gave me both. What good deed did I do to deserve such a great reward?

I kept praying, and the tears kept falling. Maybe they were tears of happiness that wouldn't stop. After the dua, when I went into prostration, even more tears came.

If it weren't for the prostration, I would have been lost. There was no complaint, no grievance, no question, no answer-just a strange sense of peace I felt while in prostration).

When I got up from prostration, Aziz was folding the prayer mats.

"Assalam Walaikum," I said as I stood up.

"Walaikum Assalam," he replied.

And at that moment, my heart felt even fuller.

As he put away the prayer mats, I went towards him and rested my head on his chest and started crying uncontrollably. I had been crying silently during the dua to avoid disturbing him, but now I cried loudly in his embrace.

I kept crying, and he held me without saying a word.

What kind of peace is this, Allah? That I find in this man?

She was crying with her head resting on my chest, and I couldn't say anything to her, nor did I want to. I wanted her to let out her pain, and if tears were the way to do it, then so be it.

A few minutes later, she lifted her head from my chest, her gaze cast downwards. I gently lifted her chin with my hand and saw her tear-filled eyes. Her face was red, her eyes wet but comforting. She looked at me and tried to smile.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes," she nodded.

Then I kissed her forehead and looked at her.

"I'll go pray Isha and come," I said.

She smiled and nodded in agreement.

I then closed the door and went to the mosque with Samir and Tamir.

When I returned to the room after prayers, Uns was asleep. Her eyes had been heavy since morning, but I was worried whether she had eaten dinner. I glanced at her once and then went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Ammi, Uns had her dinner?" I asked Ammi, who was busy making tea.

"No, Aziz. When I asked her, she said she would eat with you. Why, what happened?" Ammi replied and asked.

"Oh okay, She's sleeping now," I said.

"Then wake her up, Aziz. I talked to Amira a little while ago, and she said Uns hasn't eaten anything since noon," Ammi said with concern.

"Alright, Ammi, I'll wake her up in a bit," I said.

"Do you want some tea?" Ammi asked.

"Yes," I replied.

After making tea, I came to the living room with Ammi, carrying the tea tray. Everyone was sitting and chatting. I took a cup of tea and sat down with Samir and Tamir.

"Aziz, are you only going to drink tea? When will you have dinner?" Samir asked, taking tea from Ammi.

"I'll have it later," I said, sipping my tea.

"And has Bhabhi eaten?" Tamir asked.

"No, she's sleeping now," I said.

"Alright," they both nodded.

*******"

After spending some time with both of them, I came back to my room and found Uns sleeping on the left side of the bed. I took my laptop from my office bag and sat on the right side of the bed. One eye was on the laptop, and the other was on Uns.

"Aziz, focus," my mind said.

"That's exactly what he's doing," my heart teased.

"Be quiet," I told them both.

About two hours later, there was some movement from Uns's side. When I looked over, she was waking up.

"Didn't sleep yet?" she asked as she sat up.

"I couldn't sleep. Did you get any sleep?" I asked, closing the laptop.

"Yes, I don't know when I fell asleep," she said.

"Did you have dinner?" I asked, giving her my full attention.

"No," she said, looking at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just didn't feel like it," she replied.

"And did you have dinner?" Uns asked.

"No," I said.

"Why?" she asked.

"Tumhare bhagair kha sakhta hoon?" I asked with a slight smile.

(How could I eat without you??

"So, now?" she asked calmly.

"Let's have our dinner now, Sweetheart. I'll bring it," I said, getting up from the bed and heading to the kitchen to get the food.

In the kitchen, I picked up a plate with biryani for both of us, her favorite kebabs, and some salad, and headed back to the room. When I opened the door, I saw Uns sitting on the bed, lost in her thoughts.

"Sweetheart," I called out. She looked at me and then sighed with relief.

I sat down in front of her, placed the tray on the bed, and held the plate in my hands, offering the first spoonful of biryani to her. She took a bite, and then I ate some as well.

"Who made the coffee, earlier?" she asked in the middle of eating.

"I made it," I said, feeding her a piece of kebab.

"It was good," she complimented.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"How's the biryani?" I asked.

"It's delicious," Uns said, enjoying the biryani.

Woh mere paas hai wahi kaafi hai, woh saath hai wahi kafi hai, aur kya chahiye mujhe.

********

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